


The Internship from Hell

by LillithEvans



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 04:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 85,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12124830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillithEvans/pseuds/LillithEvans
Summary: The door bangs open so loudly it wakes Daehwi up from the nap he was taking. He immediately whips his head around to the door behind him and takes in the figure standing at the doorway.Tall, intimidating and definitely not pleased with the fact that Lee Daehwi has his head on top of his folded arm pillows. “Excuse me - were you actually sleeping right now?”"Not at all! Good morning sir." It's 6:40 at night.Lee Daehwi is so not getting this job.





	1. The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> What happens when you watch too much T.V. guys

“Well, my name is Lee Daehwi – I’m currently a senior at Yonsei University with a dual major in Songwriting and Composition – I guess you could call me a musical puritanist?” He laughs his practiced laugh for exactly three little giggles, folding his hands in front of him. His interviewer across from him laughs too.

Donghyun would be so proud – two giggles was too short, four was too many to come off casual and light-hearted. The guy had helped him practice countless times this week in preparation for his interview with the overly talented MNet producing team and it had finally paid off.

"That's great Daehwi! Why are you here, specifically? What attracted to you the MNet producing team?" Kim Jaehwan is a dream of a producer to work with. He's been active as a boy group singer, a solo singer, he's written countless hits for other artists - he is everything Daehwi hopes to be one day. Soon.

“Well, I’m definitely excited to start my career in the producing industry and I think working with one of the world’s leading composing teams right here in the backyard I call my home would be a great move.” Another wonderful answer, he can practically feel Youngmin pick him up and hoist him over his shoulders for a job well done. 

Hell, he wants to stand up and scream for himself. **"YES DAEHWI. YES. YOU'RE KILLING IT."**

But you know- he's still in the interview so he's not going to do that. As soon as he leaves though, god, he is going to make Woojin buy him all the drinks in the world. 

“You’re correct, it would be a great move! Our team has a reputation of crafting some of Yonsei's brightest students. You're definitely a strong candidate." Daehwi lets out a breath smiling brightly at the news. To be fair, Jaehwan was really the one being played right now. Daehwi had spent almost all of his time the past two weeks researching the man, his musical tastes, his motivations - even his favourite colour! You never know what you need in an interview. “You do know our team will be hiring two interns right? We have two producers on the team seeking interns right now. So you won't only be interviewing with me today. There's also a chance you may end up primarily working with someone else on the team. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Of course not! Any opportunity here is a great opportunity. However, I do have to admit I have a bias and would like to work specifically with you sunbae. Did I mention that I loved your recent single ‘Winter with Wind’? It was genius - and your voice was incredible against the piano drop in the back.” He has to suck up hard, Kim Jaehwan was famous for loving it when his ego was stroked. 

“Thank you, thank you – I also thought it was one of my better compositions.” It’s working – Jaehwan’s leaning over the table with his hands folded in front of him – this is the killer combo. The one that tells him he’s going to definitely get offered this job. “I dare say, Lee Daehwi – you’re almost my perfect intern.”

“That’s great to hear! You’re my perfect mentor.” He leans forward too smiling at him brightly. The vibe is good! He feels really good about this interview - now he just has to ace the other guy.

Hell, if his date last night with Park Jihoon had gone this well then Daehwi would have been a much happier camper coming into this interview too–

But it didn’t matter because at the end of the day he’d acted his happy pants off and now here he was on the verge of a job offer with Kim Jaehwan! **THE** Kim Jaehwan! Going from a flop date to a job offer in less than 24 hours that had to be some kind of life reversal record. Sure, he was incredibly sleep deprived and still pissed in general at his love life but- things were looking up!

“So that pretty much concludes our interview – I think I’ll just go check if our other team member is ready for the interview.” Jaehwan is sitting up, bringing his papers together and Daehwi gulps a bit nervously.

This next guy - he's a bit of a wildcard. The mystery producer was new to the MNet producing team and Daehwi hadn’t been able to find much out about him – nor had he really bothered once the HR rep had advised him that she had clear directions not to give a name.

It didn’t matter at the end of the day – he was looking to work with acoustic genius Kim Jaehwan – not whoever this guy was. “If you don’t mind telling me sunbae, what is this other producer's style of music?”

“Ah I believe he called it - ‘New Urban Electronic Style and Tempo?'” Daehwi raised his eyebrows. That was a really tall order for anyone to deliver – let alone one guy. “Yeah between you and I-I don’t get it either. Fair warning, because I really want you to get hired, don’t joke around with this guy Daehwi.”

“Don’t joke around?” Jaehwan may as well have told him to jump off a cliff. That was his whole charm! He was the adorable, cute, talented, AND FUNNY genius! How was he supposed to get hired acting like a boring chump?

Jaehwan claps a hand on his shoulders ominously. “You’ll see.” Daehwi feels a knot form in his throat. Relax, Lee Daehwi, relax – you got this. “Don't worry though! If everything works out great! We’ll be contacting you in a few days.”

Daehwi nods carefully and then shakes Jaehwan’s hands as the man exits with an encouraging smile on his face.

He waits 5 minutes. Then he calms down.

He waits 10 minutes. Then he’s a little irritated.

He waits 15 minutes. It's almost 4:30PM. Now he’s just getting late for drinks with his roommates. He wanted to go home, shower, maybe change – but if he went straight there after the interview maybe it’d still be okay?

He waits 35 minutes and stands up. This is too much. How can someone be this disrespectful!

Then he sits back down because he wants this job- and he doesn't need the internship department at his school coming after him for pissing off one of the producing teams.

A glorious 1 hour later. The door bangs open so loudly it wakes Daehwi up from the nap he was taking. He immediately whips his face around to the door behind him and takes in the figure standing at the doorway.

The guy wasn't dressed formally but there was something incredibly fearsome about his tall, intimidating presence. The look on his face was clearly displeased. After all, Daehwi still had his head on top of his folded arms. “Excuse me - were you actually sleeping right now?”

It’s the haze of sleep – that’s what he’ll blame it on. "Not at all!" Daehwi stands up brightly shoving his hand out, eyes stretched wide open as he tries his best to convince the angry looking man in front of him that he was indeed not sleeping. The guy grunts at him gingerly shaking his hand. "Good morning sir!” He squeaks energetically.

It's 6:40PM - and he's just wished the guy a good morning. He almost lets out a whimper as he sees his dream burn before him.

The man looks like he’s going to laugh at him for all of a second before his face has immediately flattened into a growl again. “Let’s get this over with.  I have many more appointments this evening.” If this was any other situation, Daehwi would have dished it out as well as he was getting it.

"Yes of course." If this guy was so worried about all his 'appointments' then he should have just bloody well shown up on time to the interview.

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself? What’s your name?” Daehwi lets out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding when the man finally starts walking over to the other side of the table, across from Daehwi and the doorway.

Daehwi is tempted to remind him that his name is actually on his resume. Something about the idea of irritating this man who had already ran his own patience thin is incredibly enticing. Still, he holds it in. He wants this job.“My name is Lee Daehwi and yours is -?” He offers carefully.

The man looks at him flabbergasted.“Kang Dongho, do you need my birthday, blood type and zodiac information as well? What the hell does my name matter?”

Daehwi almost hisses in pain at the burn. God, someone woke up alone and on the wrong side of his lonely twin bed today. “Apologies, if I’ve overstepped my boundaries I just wasn’t able to find out any information from the recruiter on the phone and-“

“Yes, move on – the question was not about me. It was about you, Lee Daehwi. So, please tell me what is so great about you that I should spend the next four months paying you to do next to nothing? For example - how good are you at coffee making or ordering?"

He drops his jaw. He can't help it. This is too blatantly offensive, even for him. “In all due honesty, if that’s what this job is like I don’t necessarily want it.” Okay that’s not true, shut up Lee Daehwi you need the cash. “I’m not some bum college kid who’s walked in here looking to waste my time getting coffee and filing paper.”

“This is not an office – it’s a studio. Do you even know what job you’re applying for? There's no paper filing here.”

“Yes. I do and it’s a metaphor." Oh god, he's getting sassy. That's it. It's done - his interview is basically in the grave now. Was it okay to hate this man? He kind of hated this man. Now that he knew he was basically not getting the job he feels himself relax in his seat. His lips are much more loose, ready to reflect the true reality of himself. "Luckily, you’ll find I don’t take everything I hear from people at face value and I’m actually quite creative. I also make an excellent latte but mostly for myself. I have a Nespresso at home.”

“Congratulations. I'll be sure to recommend you to the Starbucks across the street for the internship." The man is laughing now. What the hell? Was that a joke? That was not funny. He thought Jaehwan said not to joke around with this guy. "How many more years do you have left at school?”

Good. A question that's objective enough that it doesn't leave room for their conversation to veer into rude territory again. “A year and a half including the four month internship.”

Apparently, Daehwi was wrong. “A year and a half? So you expect me to train someone up and wait around a year and a half for a full-timer to walk back in? Or walk out with all my training in hand? What a joke.” Dongho shakes his head discouragingly tutting behind his tongue.

He wants to say that the man is being incredibly disrespectful but bites his lips just in time. “In all honesty,”  Kang Dongho is kind of the biggest asshole he’s ever met but he does still want to work with Jaehwan and the guy had pretty much said his interview with Kang Dongho was nothing more than a formality. “If a full time opportunity exists and the work atmosphere is more collaborative than the interview appears to be - then a full time job before my graduation could be something I consider."

Dongho is in some ways an open book and at this statement his eyebrows rise to the level of the Empire State Building. Daehwi wants to pat himself on the back for flooring the guy for once.

Despite how shocked Dongho looks, this appears to be the right answer. For once, Dongho's question is not tinted with some sarcastic remark at the front. “Tell me what you specialize in. What drives you to do well in your courses?”

Ah ha! Finally a question he had actually practiced an answer for. “Well, I’m currently a senior at Yonsei University with a dual major in Songwriting and Composition – I guess you could call me a musical puritanist?”

Before he continues, he's waiting for the same laughs that came from Kim Jaehwan. Honestly, he’s stupid for even trying. “How long have you practiced that joke? Do you know that puritanist is not a word?”

 _Three days_ is what’s on the edge of his mouth but he holds back a smile, feeling his heart deflate in his chest. Back to square one. He’s definitely not getting this job. Instead, he ends up mumbling his response in a pitiful way. “My friends say I’m funny.”

He swears he almost sees a smile on Dongho's demonic face, but he's not sure if it's a cruel smile like - _haha we'll see if you'll ever get this job you weakling_ or if it's one that actually comes from genuine amusement at his words.

“Well, Daehwi, we don’t joke about our work around here – I think I have everything I need to evaluate your candidacy for the role. Thank you for coming today.” Dongho stands up immediately and looks at him pointedly to follow suit. Daehwi ends up standing up dumbly with his back to the door.

They squint at each other for all of three seconds until Dongho finally huffs and comes over towards his side of the table.

Dongho leans forward and Daehwi kisses him.

Right on his cheek.

His lips part from the older man's stubbly pale skin and he hears a very obvious choked noise of shock exit the man's throat. Dongho's brilliantly pale skin flashes to an adorable tomato red.

At the same time, Daehwi feels the door behind him push against his back.

Kang Dongho had leaned over to pull open the door behind him so that he could leave. 

Oh fuck.

Yeah he’s definitely not getting this job. "I'll see my own way out."

"Please do." Dongho literally has his eyes closed from what Daehwi is sure is genuine frustration and disappointment. He doesn't have the right to be disappointed! Daehwi is the one who is disappointed! He's the one who lost the best job in the intern collection this semester and Daehwi wants to yell and scream and throw things  because he's literally just lost his dream job because of this complete ASSHOLE who couldn't even SHAVE!

And now he has to take public transport.

This is great. Just great.

He walks into the station, disheartened, hitting himself on his head as he receives a text from Donghyun. 

_How'd it go?_

_Like ku ku ka ka - just like my date last night. Just like my life in general._

He is completely expecting the immediate response that comes from his friend as he enters the subway car back towards the dorms. _OMG lmfao - you need to stop making fun of Jihoon - come on seriously. Kid's not that bad - also your interview couldn't have been that horrible._

_Jaehwan I topped - he really liked me but-_

_But-?_

_But - I accidentally ended up kissing the other interviewer?_

He can practically hear Donghyun yelling at him in his medium toned sweet voice that was not effective at all for yelling at anyone really.  _LEE DAEHWI I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN SINGLE FOR LESS THAN A HOT MINUTE AND YOU BASICALLY WENT OUT WITH YOUR EX'S EX AS REVENGE THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT BUT YOU CAN'T GO AROUND BEING THIRSTY IN INTERVIEWS! GOD THIS IS NOT WHAT WE PRACTICED LAST NIGHT._

_YEAH OKAY- BUT LIKE HE LEANED OVER TO MY FACE OKAY?  I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON AND MY GUT REACTION IS TO KISS PEOPLE WHO ARE IN MY FACE_

Suddenly, his phone is ringing and it almost flies out of his hands as he struggles to catch onto it. He quickly slides the phone call to accept and speaks. "Hello, this is Lee Daehwi!"

"Daehwi-ssi! This is Mina from the MNet HR team! We just wanted to call and let you know that we'd like to offer you the role of intern at MNet Producing team!"

He pulls the phone away from him as he looks at it in utter shock. He glances around the car to see if he's being video taped but he's not - this is not some sick prank.

He's really getting this job?

He just kissed Kang Dongho on the cheek? That's it? That's all it took?

What the **fuck**?

 


	2. The First Day

“Psst…psst – are you here for your first day?”

Well -  there went the idea of ignoring the other kid beside him who had been smiling brightly all around the room.

“Psst - I’m Seonho – I’m an intern too!”

“That’s very nice. Good for you.”

This is competition. This is not come here and make friends with the other intern – if he made friends, he’d feel obligated to care about this person. If he was obligated to care about this person, he wouldn’t be able to hurt them and-

If he wasn’t able to hurt them?

He was definitely going to get stuck dealing with Kang Dongho instead of this unsuspecting puppy. “I’m in second year at Ewha! I can’t believe I got this gig!” He’s smiling excitedly hands clapping together as Daehwi turns to look at him with a small amount of disgust. Who the hell went around clapping their hands together after the age of 5?  “How old are you?”

“Older than you.” He responds without a real answer. “Why do you go to a women’s university?”

“My mom works there and I’m on an exchange from Seoul University.” This kid got into Seoul University?

Daehwi narrows his eyes. Okay, so this kid may be a lunatic but Daehwi didn’t need to become Salieri to some weird little Mozart. “What’s your specialty?”

“Piano!” Daehwi feels his vein twitch in his forehead. They had…the…same..specialty. “I’m really hoping to work with Jaehwan-ssi.”

Well, there it went. Now, Yoo Seonho was going to be his rival. Daehwi had just been made the antagonist of a weird manga plot where this kid ran around smiling, greeting kids, helping sweet older men like Jaehwan and-

Daehwi would be the B-character who sat there vindictively plotting his death.

“Seonho! So happy to see you again!” Daehwi feels his head ache a little when he turns to look at Kim Jaehwan and Kang Dongho behind them. “Daehwi, you too! We’re very excited to have the two of you on board aren’t we?”  When Dongho doesn’t respond to his words, Jaehwan pokes him in his chest with his elbow.

Dongho manages to grumble out a faintly irritated “Yes. Hello.”

“Well – no time to waste! Let’s get you two to the studios. Dongho’s a bit busy today so you both will be working with me to start off but he wanted to come and say hi-“

Seonho wastes no time in saying hello in a manner that is both inappropriate and outrageous. “HYUNG! HI!” He physically runs up with a powerful launch and collides headfirst into Dongho’s body. In fact, his overly tall body has almost knocked Kang Dongho to the ground – and yet the man’s muscles have not betrayed him as he managed to hold Seonho back.

Maybe MNet producing team had a type – people who invaded their personal space.  Yoo Seonho was a physical affection leech and Daehwi was –

“Yes – hello. To both of you.” Dongho greets again tightly when he glances back at Daehwi after lifting Seonho off him.

Daehwi feels the knot in his throat tighten as he struggles to hold his head high and not cry into the ground. It’s fine – everything was fine. Nothing to worry about – you know – they’d just kissed – kind of – not really-

Honestly, the less he thought about this, the better – for both of them. Still, he hadn’t said a word yet to either Jaehwan or Dongho so he settled for a deep bow that would hide his face as he yelled. “Good morning sirs!”

Jaehwan laughs. “Daehwi, this isn’t the army. You don’t need to call us ‘sir’.”

Well, whatever Daehwi is - he’s definitely an idiot.

 

 

Soon after, Daehwi and Seonho are introduced to some of the team. There’s Ren who is the receptionist, Seongwoo who is something like a vocal trainer, Aron who manages all of the relationships with the labels and Jonghyun who is apparently never in the office as he’s always on the road.

The day moves quickly after that. Dongho disappears and Daehwi is happy to find he isn’t shoved to the side. In fact, Jaehwan spends a lot of time working directly with him and then lunch arrives in the blink of an eye.

Daehwi is even happy to see Jaehwan engaging with them in an open and honest way. He could appreciate that in a mentor. “I do have to apologize to the two of you – we haven’t yet made a decision on who each of you will be working with but we did know the two of you were our choices. Seonho – your recommendation from Professor Hwang was so stellar it was undeniable we needed to bring you on the team –“

“I know he loves me.”  Seonho flutters his eyelids. Daehwi barely holds back his laughs as he slurps up the instant ramen they’d grabbed from the conbini across the studio. “Honestly, his crush on me is just a little too extra.”

Daehwi watches as Jaehwan turns to him frowning a bit.

Good, Seonho was already losing his chances with Jaehwan. “Well, he did speak volumes about your potential and we’ll do our best to make sure you meet that potential. Daehwi – you’re practically a producer at the point you are based on your portfolio of work. We just need to brush up on your technical skills but the creative side and with composition, we have nothing to worry about with you, I think. Either one of us will be lucky to have you.” Daehwi beams brightly at the praise. Jaehwan wanted him! He knew it! Seonho was going to get stuck with that crazy serial killer man –

But then a deep dark thought enters his head. If Jaehwan wanted him so badly – he could have already been with him exclusively. Unless, well, after the interview-  the reason Daehwi had gotten the job so quickly and the reason they weren’t officially assigned to each other yet was because -

 

_Dongho leans in close to his face – his eyes dark, face expressionless and shadowed, betraying none of his malicious intent._

_The older man’s teeth stretch into a vindictive grin as he cackles and sinks his snarl down to rip the vein in Daehwi’s throat-_

 

“Daehwi- Daehwi you’re spilling soup on yourself.” Seonho starts wiping at his shirt as Daehwi shakes his head.

“Sorry, sorry it’s hot. Got lost in my thoughts.” Get your shit together Daehwi. This is not the time to relive your nightmare from last night.

Still the fact remained that Jaehwan had been nothing but nice to him all morning and had probably tried his very best to get Daehwi to work with him! Jaehwan had probably refused to give him straight over to Dongho which was why they were in this situation now.

“Is Dongho busy – with something?” He manages to ask carefully as Jaehwan grins brightly.

“I’m glad you asked that, Daehwi. Such a caring kid.” Jaehwan grins brightly at him approvingly. “He’s working on some post-production work for Jonghyun to review in the morning and then we’ll be sending a demo of the songs out to the labels to look at. If you’re lucky, you’ll even get to work on it later this week!”

A deep, horrific, voice works its way from behind him. “Are you all done eating now? I need one of you stat so later this week won't work. Jaehwan - who’s coming to help me?”

Despite the fact the question was directed Jaehwan, in his fear for the man, Daehwi opens his mouth like an idiot. “Sir, yes sir!” Even Dongho looks taken aback by his response, especially when it’s coupled with the fact that Daehwi has stood up like he’s saluting a general in the army and not a producer in a music studio.

“Daehwi- I told you – you don’t need to call us ‘sir’.”  Jaehwan kindly pats him on the shoulder. “We do things more casually here, son.” Then he snickers to himself as he looks at Dongho. “Yah or maybe we should take on this army thing – might as well prep these guys for service am I right?”

“Kim Jaehwan, grow up.” Dongho looks at Daehwi, clapping his hands quickly like he was summoning some sort of slave instead of a human being. “Come on – let’s move. I’m dead tired and I need help.”

Daehwi looks reflexively at Jaehwan. Didn’t he want him? If he went today – he may never come back.

When Dongho is half way out of the door Jaehwan urges him further and Daehwi knows. He knows in this silent conversation that his future at MNet producing studio has been sealed. He’s been handed off to Kang Dongho to rip apart.

Daehwi looks at Jaehwan pleadingly – it wasn’t what he meant to do! Jaehwan had to save him! SAVE HIM! Jaehwan just pushes him forward so he frowns and races after his assigned producer.

“Hurry up.” Dongho barks at him and Daehwi resists the urge to bark back. How can he be expected to hurry up when he doesn’t know what he’s hurrying up at? He’s already beside Dongho so he can’t possibly move faster than this - “How good are you at using AvidPro?”

“Decent.”

“Decent isn’t good enough-“

“You should have asked me in the interview then.” Daehwi feels himself slip as he widens his eyes and turns away from his boss’ face.

What the hell is wrong with him? Does he want to lose this job?

Okay, maybe yes, he kind of does want to lose this job right now. “I’ll let that one go but don’t talk to me like that again okay? The interview was one thing but if we’re working together for four months I need to know you’re going to listen to me and respect me.” Daehwi wants to respond that Dongho should listen to his own words but he keeps his mouth shut and his head faced to the ground. “If you’d have let me finish my sentence - I was going to ask where your gaps are in AvidPro.”

When Daehwi whips his head up and sees the older guy look at him with no general expression on his face he feels himself relax a little. Okay, maybe they could move past the fiasco that was their interview – after all he doesn’t have to end up here with Kang Dongho at the end of the day. It’s just four months. He can do four months.

So he tells him and Dongho responds in kind – when they get in the studio Daehwi is able to move away from his bias against the guy and focus on hunting down previously filed loops. “Lower the synth right –“ Dongho doesn’t even have to tell him the timing he wants to adjust, Daehwi already knows exactly where he means. “Okay, good that wasn’t so bad. Do you know where to find the reverb tool?” He shakes his head and like that they slave on the demo beat for Jonghyun.

As the hours pass quickly, Daehwi realizes that he does kind of like the way Dongho works. It's so mechanic that Daehwi can feel himself absorbed in the music and he never realizes that all of his day has passed in this windowless studio with no clocks until Dongho looks at his phone in shock. “Daehwi – I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the time. It’s 7 so you can go home now. This is pretty late for your first day.”

“Do you usually work so late?”

“Yes.” Dongho responds without hesitation. “You can go though. It’s your first day. There’s no reason you need to be here longer than required most days. I’ll be more mindful of that in the future. I haven’t had help in a long time so I didn't think.” It's probably as close to an apology as he's going to get given that Kang Dongho hasn't turned to look at him once when he was speaking to him. Instead, the producer's eyes are focused solely on the computer as his hands move quickly across the keyboard at a speed Daehwi’s not sure he can replicate.

“Okay then – have a good night.” Dongho scoffs and waves his hands backwards as if ushering him out of the room without so much as a rudely muttered goodbye.

Daehwi feels himself pout as he gathers his things.

How can Kang Dongho be so dismissive? They had a great day! They had a productive day! He’d appreciate it if there was at least a little –

_‘Lee Daehwi! You weren’t that bad!’_

Or

‘G _ood job today kid!’_

Instead he got nothing. NOTHING. Then again what the hell was he expecting? This was Kang Dongho after all. Four months of this shit. Coming right up!

Apparently he had taken too long at the door again because Dongho has huffed and removed his headphones from his head. “Ya Daehwi, are you waiting for a kiss or something?”

Daehwi felt his throat jam – like all the inner workings of his vocal chords had malfunctioned in shock.

That was the last fucking straw.

“Excuse me, you and I both know what happened on the day of the interview was entirely a mistake. Sir, I can respect your position, your stature in the industry and at the producing team but I cannot respect that you’re using that mistake against me, right now.” He puts his jacket down with more noise than intended as he walks up to his boss with a surprising amount of confidence. “And another thing – I know you think you’re hot shit but you look like a jackass when you act like that.”

Dongho looks frustrated as he leans his head into his hands. “Look here, we spoke about the way you talk to me and I thought we said-“

“Yeah – you said. YOU. YOU say everything as a manager who doesn't even know how to manage! Listen here, I am not a carpet, I’m not going to lie down and be like OMG – “

“Did you just say OMG?”

Thankfully, he can ignore his boss pretty easily. He continues on his rant as the older man looks at him stupefied. “YEAH. O.M.G. Kang Dongho thanks for crapping on me daily! I’m not that type of guy and that’s NOT what I signed up for as your intern.” It’s like a dam has burst open and decided to get him fired and Daehwi can’t even regret it. He doesn’t want to be bullied for a stupid stupid mistake he made in his freaking interview.

“I’m not trying to ‘crap’ on you-“

“And you know what while you’re at it – SHAVE ONCE IN A WHILE. FELT LIKE I WAS KISSING A DAMN PORCUPINE.” He sees his job running away from him and even he wants to step out of his body and knock himself unconscious just so he can shut the hell up. “AND ANOTHER THING - WHO EVEN SHOWS UP TO AN INTERVIEW MORE THAN AN HOUR LATE?” Dongho’s eyebrows jump up into his forehead. “And –“

“You have more to say after all that?” Dongho looks at him flushed red and Daehwi can’t blame him. He’d be upset too in his position. But Daehwi can’t work with secrets, he’s never been good at them – and he can’t act like he’s okay with his boss until he gets all of this off his chest.

“Yeah, there’s more - why am I here anyways? You hated me.”

“Here? Hated you?” Dongho points between them carefully. “Listen here, you’re here because you applied for this job.”

He can hear his roommates yelling at him in his head – keep your mouth shut Daehwi and yet he’s said it before he can stop himself. “Yes but I applied to be Jaehwan’s pupil – not Kang Dongho’s personal punching bag.”

“You know why you’re here.” Dongho stands up suddenly shaking his head. Daehwi feels his throat close when the man’s hands land slowly on his shoulder. “Daehwi, you’re here because of Se-“

“I’M HERE BECAUSE OF SEX?” Daehwi squeals as Dongho appears extremely taken aback as he holds his arms up in defense.

“Dude no! How do you even get to these ludicrous conclusions?” Okay, sure it was ludicrous - he could agree to that.

But did Kang Dongho have to look that disgusted at the prospect of the two of them having sex? Daehwi didn’t think he was that bad looking.

Not that it really mattered, because it’s not like Daehwi wants to have sex with him either given that he’s a prickly monster just on his face so who knew what lay under the generic long-sleeved T-shirt and jeans combo he was perpetually in.

“You said Se- not me.” And another thing - Kang Dongho totally wasn’t even his type. Daehwi liked pretty boys with small faces and eyes that made your heart stop in your chest whose last names were Bae and first names were Jinyoung.

“You’re here because of ‘SEONHO’.” Then as if he was talking to a child Dongho re-iterated very slowly. “You are here. In this studio. With me. Because Jaehwan has the hots for Seonho’s teacher. Has for years.”

“Oh.” Daehwi watches Dongho nod at him slowly. This helps explain nothing. Daehwi is as confused as ever. How did they go from sex to Seonho’s hot teacher? “I’m sorry – WHAT?”

“Jaehwan’s been into Seonho's teacher Minhyun for years. We all went to school together and Minhyun has basically shut that shit down every time. So this is his new strategy since he knows Minhyun’s basically adopted Seonho and drives him around everywhere – it’s his way of hanging out with Minhyun every day when he comes to pick up Seonho from work.”

“Oh.” Jaehwan? His Jaehwan? Had hired Seonho to get laid with some creepy old professor? (Okay maybe that wasn't fair because how old could Minhyun really be if he was friends with Dongho who looked - what like five - six years older than him?)

“Yeah. Understand now?”

“Yeah, okay…I understand.” That was fucked up.

Jaehwan was - so - thirsty. “Anything else you want to say?” Dongho looked at him pointedly ready for more word vomit to hit him.

“So about the interview- and what you said earlier- about the-“

Dongho looks at him with an unimpressed expression. “I was just making a joke.”

“You don’t joke around.” Dongho looks positively offended at this statement. "Do you?"

“How would you know? We barely know each other.”

“Kim Jaehwan.” He responds with no hesitation. Learning how opportunistic his idol had been this whole time had ruined any semblance of loyalty he’d held for the guy.

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Dongho waved as if he was trying to swat a Kim Jaehwan faced fly. “I’m hilarious. I can make people pee in their pants that's how funny I am."

Daehwi gulps carefully. Dongho can definitely make someone pee their pants - but maybe not because he's funny - it's more because he's scary as hell. Still the lock on his mouth has thankfully returned so Daehwi keeps that information to himself. “Apparently. I will try my best to appreciate your humor in the future.”

Dongho looks behind him and points at the door. “Are you leaving now?”

“Yes, I think I will.”

“Have a good night.”

“Yup.” Dongho has not yet told him if he’s actually fired for saying any of what he’d said. Hell, if someone had said all that to him as an intern, he’d have probably kicked the little guy’s ass to the curb.

Sensing his hesitation in leaving, Dongho looks at him pointedly. “Be back at 8.”

“Yup!” He responds energetically. “Looking forward to working with you, sir!” He quickly picks up his jacket, hands on the doorknob when he hears Dongho laugh behind him and turns to look at him confused. "What?"

“I’m still waiting for my kiss.”

“Fuc-“ Daehwi catches his tongue just as it was about to slip the fated curse words and he sees Dongho burst into laughs at himself. “Funny.”

Jaehwan may be a creepy fetishist for hot teachers but he was right about one thing.

Kang Dongho was not funny.

Someone should tell him.

Daehwi smiled to himself as he made his way to the train station. Even if they did, it probably wouldn't get through his thick stubborn head anyways. 


	3. The Hungover Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things:  
> 1) I'm so sorry this chapter is so long - idk what happened but I got kind of carried away  
> 2) I hope you still enjoy it :D (but also this chapter is a bit darker but hopefully the darkness is worth the set up I'm trying to make for the next few chapters :D bc guess what we took a one shot guys and we're making it a plot - together!)

“And then I told him to shave-“

“You’re really- honest Daehwi. Too honest.” Daehwi laughs at Youngmin’s structured words as he shakes his head.

“Hyung, I’m too much of a mess is what you wanted to say wasn’t it?” Youngmin shakes his head jokingly while his eyes completely reveal that was exactly what he was thinking.

Where Im Youngmin is trying to be polite, Kim Donghyun has no such qualms about saving his dongsaeng’s heart. “Well if you’re admitting it. Daehwi – if you think about it you should thank this guy for bearing with you. You can be a lot to handle for people who don’t know you.”

“I am so not- I’m perfectly fine to handle.” Woojin starts coughing fakely. Daehwi uses the opportunity to swing his hips into his friend's side. Normally, the dance major would be able to find his balance and land on his feet.

But – Woojin, like the rest of them, is also really REALLY drunk.

So he ends up exaggeratedly circling into the air, almost landing on the disgusting club floor. Ew.

Thankfully, both Woojin’s hands find their home on an unsuspecting stranger’s shoulders swinging said stranger into a weird sort of dance where they’re now way too close to each other.

 _‘He’s hot!’_ Daehwi mouths to Donghyun who snickers and agrees pointing at Woojin who is currently a statue in the presence of this new person.

“Oh god - are you okay? You almost fell.” The stranger is bright eyed, pale skinned and literally wearing wings on his back – not that anyone can blame him.

They are after all at a gay bar, aptly titled ‘The Closet’, and Halloween is just around the corner. If you’re not going to dress as a fairy now – really when is it socially acceptable?

“He’s fine, thanks!” Donghyun pulls Woojin’s hands off the fairy who bounces away happily towards the dance floor. Woojin has not recovered as quickly.

“Yo - you okay?” Youngmin asks Woojin who is stuck staring after the fairy. He doesn’t even react when Youngmin snaps his fingers in front of his face. “Yeah guys, Woojinie’s not okay.”

“What?” Woojin asks dumbly, hearing his name. “The music’s really loud.” Yeah, no one is falling for that excuse. “What?! Daehwi don’t look at me like that!”

“God– you don’t have to jump down everyone’s throats Park Woojin.”

“Don’t have to be such a fucking pain in the ass Lee Daehwi-“

Daehwi cackles as he gestures around their surroundings. “I take serious offense to that statement given where we are –“

“If you guys would stop being so absorbed in a nonsensical argument – I could tell you that fairy boy literally hasn’t stopped staring at all of us since he left.” Donghyun pats Woojin’s shoulder encouragingly. “Go get ‘em Tiger.”

“Get – what?” Woojin immediately whips around as he looks blindly around the room. “I don’t see anyone.”

Daehwi uses his hands to guide Woojin’s shoulders to face the fairy in question. “There. Look straight ahead of you, directionally challenged, loser. Your angel is right in front of your freaking eyes.”

“I can’t just walk up to the guy-”

“Sure you can, fairy is literally still staring at you.” Donghyun waves at the pretty boy and Woojin looks physically hurt, grabbing Donghyun’s hands. “Woojin – what are you doing? I'm not into you. I'm not the guy you want.”

"This is not the time for jokes! What do you think I’m doing? Put your hand down!” 

“Oh for god’s sakes, I can’t stand this anymore.” Daehwi grabs Woojin’s arm and pulls him towards the fairy bidding Donghyun and Youngmin good bye. “Come on you big piece of rock, you’re heavy! I can’t drag you all the way there! Don’t you want a phone number?” Woojin is still groaning behind him, complaining that he has no idea what to say to the guy and that he really shouldn’t be bothered and he’s perfectly happy not getting together with anyone –

But Daehwi knows better. Woojin hasn’t been out with anyone in more than a year and if left alone to his devices would probably die alone.

He can’t let that happen! One day, far far into the future, when he has kids – Daehwi would like to imagine Woojin would be there with his own little baby Woojin and then baby Daehwi and baby Woojin can also be best friends.

But until that future, if he has to manhandle his best friend to even get him some – he’ll do it, How I Met your Mother style.

Pretty Boy is facing away from them but that’s no problem for Daehwi, he taps the boy on the shoulder. “Hi! We just bumped into you but - have you met Woojin?”

“Oh – hi!” Wow, this guy’s eyes actually sparkle as he turns to look away from him and straight at Woojin. “No, I haven’t officially - do you guys go to Yonsei too?”

Woojin has finally found his tongue. “Yeah! That’s Daehwi by the way –“ Daehwi rolls his eyes. How pointless is that introduction? He was scheduled to disappear soon anyways. Plus, if things turned out REALLY well for Woojin tonight he’d just introduce himself to fairy boy tomorrow morning. “Are you in the arts faculty? I feel like I’ve seen you around before?” Woojin manages to cough out as the kid tilts his head doubtfully shaking his head. “No? In the-“

“One time in the washroom – you told me I looked nice and then proceeded to say it’s just because my eyes matched my sneakers really well.” The guy explains laughing behind his hand. “When I recognized you tonight – I was just happy I got to see you again because you ran out last time without saying a word. I’m Hyeongsub by the way.” Like ever the polite kid, he bows his head towards Daehwi and Daehwi feels his heart coo.

He can approve! This guy even has manners! “Classic Woojin. Sorry about that – he’s really bad at flirting.” This whole embarrass Woojin to get him a boyfriend thing seems to be working for Hyeongsub and Woojin, who are both awkwardly  laughing together at Daehwi’s words.

Phew, cue disappearance! Daehwi feels happy, enlightened and useful-

Until he sees someone new approach the prettiest boy at ‘The Closet’ and throw an arm over his shoulders casually as Hyeongsub laughs and leans into Bae Jinyoung’s lips, their skin flush against each other.

Daehwi’s fists tighten and almost immediately he’s ready to punch his ex-boyfriend’s lights out until he feels Woojin grab his wrist at the speed of lightning.

Too bad, he’s not fast enough to cover his mouth. “Bae Jinyoung - what the fuck are you doing?”

Jinyoung turns to look at him with eyes wide with shock as he takes in the situation around him.

Daehwi scoffs, either he’s an extremely good actor or he really didn’t fucking know that Daehwi was standing right here when he approached Hyeongsub. “Daehwi-“

The sound of his name leaving Jinyoung’s lips is sickeningly enjoyable. His stomach has twisted over itself, his feet feel like dancing and he wants to reach over and forget they ever broke up. “God – literally looking at your face has ruined my night.”

Jinyoung can hear his thoughts, he’s walked away from Hyeongsub and pulled him by his hips towards a corner of the club that’s way too risky. “Daehwi- let’s talk please.” Daehwi hates that he’s gulping like this, he hates that the alcohol and his heart want him to make mistakes he’s going to regret tomorrow -

“Fuck if I’m doing that. If you’re here – I’m not staying one fucking minute here.” He pushes Jinyoung’s hands off to start running through the throngs of people here.

He should say bye to everyone, tell them he’s going home – but he’s not in the mood to be responsible.

He’s angry, he’s drunk, he’s still in love with that asshole who literally HIT on someone right in front of him. How could Jinyoung even think that doing that would be okay? How could Jinyoung grab him right after and pretend that they were okay?

That they could talk without Daehwi breaking down in front of everyone around them?

When he manages to push his way out of the entrance of the club and out onto the fairly empty street he realizes he’s not the only one who left the club.

Though to be fair, he’s not at all surprised that Bae Jinyoung has followed him out. “I said I’m fucking leaving - I didn’t ask you to come along.”

Jinyoung looks down at the ground, eyes never quite touching his. It’s Jinyoung’s familiar defense mechanism. He’d once told Daehwi that he did it because he couldn’t stand to see Daehwi upset. Now that he thought about it, how fucking cowardly was that? How cowardly was it that Jinyoung caused the problem and couldn’t face the consequences? “Daehwi - why are you so upset? It’s not like-”

“Oh – I’m sorry do you think that because we haven’t spoken in like three weeks I’ve suddenly forgotten that you told me that you’re in love with your ex-boyfriend?” He bursts out laughing when Jinyoung’s face sombers. “Has that fucking changed in the past few weeks because I certainly didn’t expect to see you trolling around ‘Closet’ for a hookup?”

At this cruel assessment of their reunion, Jinyoung risks a look up at Daehwi. “You don’t honestly think I’m at the ‘Closet’ tonight looking to hook up with someone?” Daehwi doesn’t answer him. “Daehwi - I’m not going to stop feeling the way I do for Jihoon because you don’t approve but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you, I wouldn’t do that to us I’m not rea -“

Daehwi bursts out laughing but nothing about his laugh is very nice. “I’m sorry – do you MISS me? You have the audacity to tell me you’re in love with someone else and that you miss me?” Jinyoung doesn’t answer him as he looks back down at the ground again and Daehwi crawls forward to him and pushes his shoulders. He knows he’s being unnecessarily mean and aggressive with him – but he doesn’t care. He wants to hurt him. “Man, this is exactly why we’re not together anymore.”

“For someone who wants me to be so loyal to him, how fucked up is it that you actually went on a date with Jihoon, huh?” The lash in Jinyoung’s words are clear, the pain is reflected clearly in his eyes. “What was that? Like some messed up shit to hurt me?”

Daehwi tries to ignore the way his heart squeezes uncomfortably at the thought that he’s actually caused Jinyoung pain. “Don’t you remember? You asked me to.”

“I never asked you to date Jihoon behind my back-“

“No, you asked me to open our relationship up to him – and god knows how many others.” That wasn't fair to Jinyoung and Daehwi knew that. He'd never asked for Daehwi to open their relationship to everyone - but he had asked for something much much more complicated. 

“Daehwi-“

“You know - I tried it. I mean - I wanted to try to see if I could like Jihoon as much as you did. He's fine I guess but you know what I learned about myself on that date Jinyoung? I learned that I’m not into sharing. I’ve never been good at sharing the things I’ve considered mine. I’m possessive by nature and I’m not just going to be like – fuck yeah! Let’s watch Jinyoung and Jihoon kiss each other, let’s watch them fall back in love with each other – let’s stab ourselves in the heart every fucking day because my boyfriend is still in love with his ex and I’m some sort of sad third wheel in their love story?” Jinyoung doesn’t say a word but he does look apologetic that Daehwi feels this way. “Bae Jinyoung - I need the person I love to love only me. I guess I’m selfish and old fashioned like that – so yeah it’s better we don’t talk to each other if that pseudo open relationship is still what you want.”

“It doesn’t make it right that you did that. You knew I wouldn’t like that -” Jinyoung pushes back shaking his head as he comes close to Daehwi – too close. It reminds Daehwi of the many times they’ve closed this gap, nerves in his body tingling with memories he’s tried to erase to no avail. “It’s not fair to test my feelings like that- for either of you.”

“Jealous?” Daehwi pats himself on the back as Jinyoung continues to frown at him. “Good, then you know how I feel when I think of you and Jihoon.”

“You can’t honestly think I’ve stopped loving you – and it’s not like I’m with Jihoon right now – so why did you ask him out?”

“I already told you - I asked Jihoon out to see what the big fucking deal was and to be honest I didn’t see it – I don’t see why you want to risk what we have together. We're perfect Jinyoung.” Jinyoung’s eyes widen as he realizes Daehwi’s words are in present tense. Daehwi pauses as he covers his mouth laughing. “God, I really fucking hate you.”

“Daehwi don't say–“

“What? You didn’t want to hear me say that?” Daehwi laughs cruelly. “I never asked you to follow me out here did I? You came HERE of your own free volition.” Jinyoung looks frustrated with him as he ruffles his own hair groaning. “Go back inside. Fairy’s waiting for you I’m sure. Probably your new little piece since Jihoon’s an oblivious dolt – speaking of if that guy is your style I guess I should warn Woojin to stay away-“

Jinyoung shakes his head laughing.  "Just fuck off Daehwi- go home." He feels his heart stop in his chest. Jinyoung rarely swears, he's not that type of guy - he's the perfect student - the type of guy you read about in romance novels. Except that he was in love with two people. His only flaw. "You're so bat shit drunk you’re talking crap out of your ass. Hyeongsub is just a friend.”

"Sorry - I can’t believe you. I can’t trust you.”

“When have I ever lied to you?”

“When you told me I was enough. You lied.” The gravity of his words shuts both of them up.

All that’s left is the smoke ridden air around them, circling their frames, filling the gaps between them until Jinyoung finally turns around and walks back into the club without another word, never correcting Daehwi - never giving him the reassurance that he is enough.

Daehwi stands frozen, staring at his ex-boyfriend’s back. He remains unmoving for seconds, minutes, hours – he can’t even tell anymore despite the fact that at least five songs have passed by since Jinyoung disappeared into the gap where their darkness started.

Jinyoung wasn’t meant to be possessed.

Daehwi had pretty much figured that out in the first few months of their relationship. Jinyoung was the type of guy who needed space – the type of space Daehwi found very hard to give. Jinyoung wanted to exist as one person in a relationship and Daehwi wanted them to be one person in forever together.

Jinyoung had also been his first relationship that had lasted beyond three months because he hadn’t gotten utterly bored of him. Bae Jinyoung was charming, sarcastic and unbearably sweet when he wanted to be. His eyes flutter close from fatigue and his brain unwillingly reminds him of one of Jinyoung’s incessantly stupid habits-

_The curtains are pried open as Daehwi groans into his pillow feeling his body turn towards his boyfriend. Jinyoung's hands are placed squarely on his shoulders, face descending on Daehwi's reluctant one. It's only when Daehwi feels his boyfriend's lips placing two feather light kisses on each eye that he opens his mouth to speak actual human words in the morning. “Why are you always kissing my eyes, you creepy fetishist?”_

_“What blasphemy – I’m only kissing them because when I kiss them, you get the hell up and I get you back from sleep you undiagnosed narcoleptic.” Jinyoung's laughter is something Daehwi can wake up to every day. It's deep, it rumbles in his chest, it lights up Daehwi's brain with every tickled chuckle that worms its way through his ears._

_Like a practiced dance - Daehwi cracks one eye open  jokingly, floored as he always is by how lucky he is that he has Saturday mornings that are as perfect as this one._

_So he does the only thing he can think of. He grabs his boyfriend by his shirt and whips him over to the bed. There’s no way he can’t make this morning last longer – it’s his favourite part of the week. “Well – I think my lips are getting kind of jealous so if you really want to wake me up-“_

_“Oh – but I like them too. We can’t have them be that jealous?” Jinyoung laughs back at his pathetic excuse for more time in bed, his hands finding their way through Daehwi's hair. “Believe it or not, this is very easy to fix you just have to stay right-”_

Daehwi hates him. He hates Bae Jinyoung.

He hates him because now he’s standing here, face in his hands as he tries to tell himself not to let the tears out beyond his eyes because there’s no Jinyoung there to kiss them away.

He’s such an idiot.

 

 

 

The next morning is an entirely painful affair. “Daehwi – send me the third drum beat please.” He fires off the email from his computer, barely awake beside his boss.

He’d woken up completely hung over. There should be a law - bars shouldn't be allowed to serve people three different types of hard liquor on Thursday nights. 

“Sent.” He mumbles blearily as he watches the letters on his screen grow out of focus. Oh fuck, he was really hung over and it really didn’t help that he barely had any sleep -

“Daehwi, this is the wrong file.” He hears his boss’s irritating tic in his throat. That was the fifth time today he’d had to hear that barely masked sound of disappointment in his throat.  “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. What’s wrong with you?” He responds easily as he hears that stupid irritating tic again. If he did that again, Daehwi was going to throw up.

Little did he know, this time that irritating tic is accompanied by a completely uninvited action. Apparently – his big bad boss has decided he has the right to literally grab Daehwi’s roller chair and pull him roughly right in front of him so they’re staring right at each other.

However, his boss has severely underestimated Daehwi's current ability keep balance because after being pulled forward he’s literally fallen head first into Dongho's muscular chest. “Okay - this one is your fault you didn’t need to yank like that-“

Dongho grabs him by the scruff of his shirt laughing. “Lee Daehwi - are you hungover right now?”

“No, of course not. I am entirely professional and would never show up to –“ He feels his stomach dry heave without his permission. Dongho looks at him pointedly with one singular eyebrow raised. “Yes?” Dongho lets go of him to reach into a backpack not too far from them. Daehwi is surprised to find a few seconds later a bottle of water is safely deposited into his hands. “Uh – thanks?”

“Yeah- that’s not for show. Drink up.” In seconds, the water bottle is emptied and crushed. Dongho looks at him impressed. “Hey, if that’s how you drank last night, it’s a wonder you’re sitting up straight right now.”

“The alcohol is only one problem –“

“What’s the other problem?” How does one say to their boss that you’re emotionally exhausted because you yelled your guts out at your ex-boyfriend last night who you’re still in love with?

Correct answer: there is no way to say this.

So Daehwi settles for something more acceptable. “The other problem is once I got home, I spent most of my time being stupid and literally writing the intro to a new song. I ended up sleeping at 5:00AM but-“ At this, Dongho looks shockingly happy given that Daehwi had pretty much admitted that he didn’t give a fuck about showing up to work completely unprepared in a sleepy vomity haze.

“Can I listen?”

Uh, hell no. “What if I don’t have it on me?”

“Any composer worth his salt would walk around with the track in their back pocket. Are you that fresh Daehwi? You don’t even keep your tracks on you?” Dongho holds his hand out expectantly and Daehwi sighs feeling his heart beat a little faster as he found the file on his phone. “Do you have lyrics yet?”

“Not really – I mean –“ Dongho looks at him pointedly again because Daehwi is kind of shit at lying. Still, he can’t help but feel the blood rush to his face as he contemplates the idea of reading his literal heart out to Kang Dongho. No doubt to face ridicule and humiliation. “They’re not on the track – but I have them.”

 “Written up?” Daehwi nods. “Do you know how you want the words delivered?” He nods again. “Sing it then!”

Okay, he barely liked the guy – he was not going to sing for Kang Dongho. He could imagine his arrogant ass right now – _‘That’s how you sing? Oh my god – my ears are bleeding. Daehwi- my CAT could sing better than you’._ Yeah, no thanks. “I’d rather not.”

“How am I supposed to give you feedback when I can’t hear everything you have in mind for the song?” He has a point. He always has a point. “Don’t be such a baby. Are you worried I’ll make fun of you?”

“NO! What am I twelve?” That is exactly what he's worried about. “It’s a ballad – it’s not really your style- it’s piano- like-“

“You know – it shouldn’t surprise you but - as a professional with at least five years of experience over your head I actually have written things that aren’t electronic music?” Dongho snickers covering his mouth at his intern’s mortification. “So are you going to get my opinion or not?”

Despite the fact, that his opinion wasn’t really invited Daehwi nods carefully as he clears his throat. “I’m not a professional.”

“Oh – I know don’t worry. You’ve got a LONG way to go before anyone calls you that.” When Dongho looks down at his phone, Daehwi openly glares at him barely able to stop himself from flipping his boss the middle finger. “I’m pressing play.” The first few seconds of the piano chords set the tone of the song.

Dongho keeps his gaze thankfully fixed on his phone instead of Daehwi’s face. It makes this a little less embarrassing, but regardless Daehwi finds his eyes shut when the break comes in the piano key and he takes a deep breath, slowly singing into the song for the first time. “ _Love is just a word, but it’s what brings us together and tears us apart. Two different paths and we’re always on opposite roads – there’s no rhythym, no rhyme no reason – no way to bridge our gap but my hand still reaches for the air knowing you’ll never be there.”_

The music turns off as his voice reaches the crescendo high note and he slowly opens his eyes to see Dongho peering at him, palms folded under his chin. “That’s all I really have so far.” He’s silent as he feels his face redden the more Dongho looks at him.

These words are personal, very personal – they’re all related to his struggles with Jinyoung and even his closest friends don’t know the full extent of his pain but technically by hearing these words – in some weird way Kang Dongho knows and Daehwi’s not certain how he feels about that.

The silence is literally making a rash prop on his neck as he scratches it absent-mindedly. “So uh, what did you think?” He finally iterates when Dongho doesn't speak up. 

Kang Dongho’s face is inscrutable as he looks towards the phone and passes it back to him. “It’s not half bad.”

Despite the fact the statement is innately negative, Daehwi feels his mouth stretch into a smile as he looks at him. “It’s not?” Okay good, at least his own vulnerability and emotional turmoil had some sort of positive outcome.

“I mean – the beats could use a bit more work – but I can tell your major’s Songwriting. I think you need to develop the track more – because honestly in 45 seconds I feel like I need more crescendos in the middle but overall it’s a solid base for someone who wrote this drunk and sang it hungover.” Daehwi laughs despite the fact that’s not meant as a joke and Dongho shakes his head disapprovingly. “God, teenagers.”

“I take offense to that – I am definitely not a teenager.”

“You’re acting like one – don’t come to work like this again!”

“But it was good?”

“It was half good.” Dongho agrees a smile floating onto his face. Daehwi feels himself bite his lips as he looks at Kang Dongho’s expression. Right now, he seems approachable – and he’d actually given him fairly decent feedback that he could action right away.

It wouldn’t be too weird to ask him for help with it right? “Can we work on it- together?”

Dongho’s eyebrows rise up to his forehead. Whatever he'd been expecting from Daehwi, it hadn't been that. “Yah, am I your intern or are you mine? I get to help you with your compositions too?”

“I thought you said we were a ‘team’?” Daehwi shrugged manipulatively. “I mean it’s fine – if we’re really not. I always knew I was basically signing up to be your slave anyways. Doing all your bitch work is so much fun-“

“Daehwi  - language!” Dongho looks at him pointedly as Daehwi sticks his tongue out between his teeth pulling on his ears apologetically. “God, you millenials are really something you know?”

Daehwi looks at him skeptically. Dongho cannot be that old, his skin may be prickly but from the little he remembered of their exchange when they first met – his cheek still had a supple bounce to it, like someone who hadn’t lost all of their happiness to aging. “You aren’t one? How old are you anyways?”

“Wow – why does it even matter? You barely respect the boss and employee language rules – you’ll respect the hyung dongsaeng ones?”

“Doubtful – but we’d have to start with you telling me your age first.”

“What do you want my blood type and zodiac sign too?” Dongho snickers at him.

It really wasn’t that funny – he hated remembering the interview. “You were a little too much that day – I’d really just asked for your name man – but now that I’m hired you might as well tell me a bit about yourself?”

“27, AB, Cancer. Anything else you'd like to know?” That meant his birthday had just passed this summer. So, Dongho wasn’t that much older than him.

“21, A, Aquarius.”  

Dongho rolls his eyes. “Thanks but I’m not nosy like you and I didn’t ask for your information-“

“I know! But just in case - you know – if we’re going to be partners in criminal composition thing I’d like for us to know something about each other-“

“I know a lot about you already – you’re too much freaking trouble.” Dongho grumbles.

Despite the fact that he said this often, Dongho never really did anything about his empty threats – and they were starting to feel more like sad jokes if anything. “So-?”

“This isn’t technically a track we’re working on for the team right?” True, they weren’t going to be selling this to any labels. It would be pure personal development for Daehwi. “And you don’t want to give up your rights to the track?”

Technically, if Dongho is actually going to help him – Daehwi wouldn’t mind having their credentials on the song together but he doesn’t want to give up rights to him entirely which he knew some producers demanded. “I don’t really want to- but-“

He feels himself jump out of his skin when his boss literally starts yelling at him. “Oh my god! No! Never! You shouldn’t give up your rights ever – rule #1 never compromise. I’d never take them from you but – someone else might try. You can’t answer like that in the future.”

He frowns. There are situations where it makes more sense right? “What if it’s a really famous singer?”

“Don’t get caught in that mess – they’ll take it and claim it as their own, which isn’t fair. Never give your work away.” Daehwi looks at him dumbly nodding. “Okay – so let’s do this. We’ll work on it – but only on the days you’re available to stay after work from 5:30 – 6:30?”

“You already stay late –“

“Yeah but that’s not for you – that’s because I’m a workaholic.” He admits easily and Daehwi feels himself frown. Why does Dongho work so much anyways? “I can’t let you start adopting that sort of behaviour. Plus, I also need to actually finish almost a whole album worth of stuff so until that’s out of the way whenever you want to stay late – we can work on perfecting your one track. Sounds good?” Dongho holds a hand out to him and Daehwi gingerly nods placing his hand in Dongho’s feeling his stomach fall to his toes.

Holy shit- he’s actually going to be making a song with Kang Dongho.

Dongho doesn’t appear to notice how shell-shocked he is. He’s reached for a post it and Daehwi comes closer to his face to peer over his frame at the chicken scratch writing. “What’s that?”

“The levels I want to use to adjust your pitch when we record it.” He responds easily as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“You can figure that out by listening to it one time? Live? To an amateur singer like me?” As much as he still didn’t really like working with him, he had to admit Kang Dongho was a very talented producer.

Dongho looks up at him snickering. “God – you don’t have to look so impressed. Any producer worth his salt can do this. Otherwise, you waste so much time when you’re stuck with prissy singers in a room-”

“It’s impressive!” He forces as he watches Dongho’s cheeks colour pink and he feels his own mouth stretch wider. He liked the idea that his words could affect the senior producer in front of him. “I can’t even do that yet so –“

Of course, that couldn’t last longer than ten seconds because his boss has gone back to being his asshole self again. “Of course you can’t do that yet. Who said you’re a producer even? You’re barely a passable intern.”

Daehwi frowns as he settles in closer to Dongho who is still scribbling away notes. “What is throaty ‘rhythym’?”

“Well the song is a break-up song right?” Dongho’s assessment is accurate but it feels a bit weird admitting that to him. Still, it wasn’t like Dongho was asking him for the circumstances behind his song so Daehwi quickly nods. “Well then – yeah – you need more pain in the song. You sing really well Daehwi but -you don’t sound hurt when you sing it.”

“Well I’m not really a vocalist-“

“Yeah, but if you get the feeling right when we record it - then you can explain it to the vocalist when the track is distributed eventually.” He grins at Daehwi who looks completely dumbfounded by all the information he’s receiving today. “Hey – you learning something yet?”

“Like maybe two things?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you’re an AB and a Cancer.”

Dongho shakes his head. “Useless. Leave my studio now. You’re fired.”

If he could punch him, he would. At the same time, if Dongho punched him back, even as a joke, he’d probably be bruised for days. “You need to stop thinking that joking about firing me like this is cool.”

Dongho nods along like he agrees. Then he opens his mouth. “I know – you need to stop thinking it’s okay that you talk to me the way you do.”

“Well, you need to-“ Daehwi has officially run out of things to say to him, so he gives up, sticking his hands on his own ears apologetically. “Okay boss-nim, since you’re staying behind and being an antisocial workaholic, not that you always weren’t- I will do my best to follow your wishes.”

“Thank you - that’s really all I ask. That and please get started on ‘Open Up’ again today – we have a meeting with Jonghyun at 4- and drink more water so you don’t look so- dehydrated.” Dongho passes him another bottle of water and this time he sips it slower.

As the day flies by then he becomes distinctly aware that his boss has literally made him consume almost three litres of water – which is great – but it does lead to him peeing a lot. Still he feels better overall, so he can’t really fault him for it.

When Daehwi finally leaves for the day he stretches his shoulders out removing his phone, seeing his daily text from Kim Donghyun checking that he hadn’t yet lost his job.

_And how was work today? Did you throw up? On your boss?_

_Oh my god no! What the hell do you expect from me?_

_Nothing. Obviously – but seriously after last night, are you feeling okay? Woojin said you met Jinyoung and almost started a fight –_

_Yeah – like next time I say I’m drinking whiskey, vodka and gin just tell me to stop please._

_Okay._

Donghyun’s reply is lacklustre – because Daehwi hasn’t really addressed his concern with Jinyoung.

But what can he say to that? On text?

Daehwi shuts his eyes as he puts his headphones on and replays the track he wrote - Jinyoung’s expression outside the club replaying over and over again in his head.

He’s not okay. He’s still angry, upset and irrevocably in love with Bae Jinyoung- but there’s nothing he could do. Jinyoung wouldn’t budge and neither would he.

So where did that leave them? 

It left them painfully apart.

Still – he had to admit today it felt better than it had yesterday. His weird exercise with Kang Dongho was the first productive thing to come out of his frustrations with his ex-boyfriend.

So he takes a deep breath and opens his conversation with Donghyun up again and tries to steady his breathing as he types out –

_I’ll be fine._

When he puts his phone away and replays the track, he grins to himself.

It’s the first time since the break-up that he actually believes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL uh can you tell I like this AU? 
> 
> I like this AU (I also like all of you who are leaving very lovely comments below so thank you <3)


	4. The Friday - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friday is ALONG LONG LONG LONG CHAPTER.
> 
> Very long. 
> 
> So I split it up :)
> 
> Benefits? Lilli has a LOTTT of it written so that means new updates are going to be pretty steady on this story (steadier than my others lol).
> 
> ALSOOOOO MAJOR THANK YOU TO jxxhyxns for editing this piece like a champ <3 she's a hero :D go stan her :D

“Daehwi –“

At the sound of his name, Daehwi turns towards the door where Yoo Seonho is standing brightly waving at him. “Hey - I’m going to go grab a coffee want to come?”

He looks towards where his boss has, for the most part, spent most of his Friday two ways –

     1) Glued to his computer screen

     2) Glued to his phone screen

What the guy was waiting for – even Daehwi couldn’t tell you. He’s a month into his internship and he STILL can’t read the guy.

Daehwi continues to look at Dongho, prodding him for permission – but his boss continues to disregard him. “I’m going out – with Seonho-“

“Excellent – your breathing has been too loud lately.” Dongho flicks his wrist towards the door. What the hell?! He’s not allowed to breathe now? Sensing his disturbance, his boss finally looks at him – face as expressionless as a dead fish. “Daehwi- learn to take a joke.”

“Uh… how am I supposed to take a joke when you’re not smiling?”

“You can’t tell when I’m joking?”

“Well, like you – didn’t hire a mind-reader?”

“To be honest – kind of sounded like a joke to me.” Seonho volunteers unhelpfully from the back. When Dongho turns his eyes to him, the littler intern runs over to embrace him. “Hyung, thank you again for taking me home the other day-“

Daehwi squeaks audibly.

What?!

Dongho dropped Seonho home?

Somehow, he found this incredibly offensive, because

    1) Seonho already had a ride with that creepy hot professor guy

    2) Daehwi slogged day after day for the guy and had always gone home in a stinky subway cart. Dongho had never offered him a ride home!

Not that he cared, he’d have probably said no – but – he’s feeling irritated that Yoo Seonho has managed to wrap Kang Dongho around his fingers.

If he’s going to be stuck working with the guy – he’d like to imagine that he was Dongho's favourite intern not some overgrown teenager -

His face must have gone through a million and one expressions because when his eyes finally land back on Dongho’s own, the man is actually looking at him for once. “Want to say what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing’s on my mind.” Daehwi lies easily. There’s no way in hell that he’d admit out loud that he wants Dongho to favour him over Seonho. He bows his head and they leave the studio quickly to go towards the elevators.

Well, it doesn’t matter anyways. At the end of the day, Kang Dongho is a moody, irritable piece of shit asshole. He shouldn’t give two shits about what the guy thinks of him. “How’s things going with Jaehwan, Seonho?”

“Oh, definitely not as good as you guys.” Seonho admits with an honesty that catches him off-guard. If Seonho thinks their team is one to envy – how bad is it for him and Jaehwan? “Sometimes, Jaehwan gets frustrated – and he’s kind of a diva when that happens. Plus he’s constantly singing – CONSTANTLY. My head’s starting to hurt. I kind of wish I was with Dongho hyung now – he’s so much more mellow.”

Huh, is his boss mellow? In some ways…sure? After all, Dongho only opens his mouth to rip Daehwi a new one or make some sort of stupid joke. “Yeah, I guess he’s a nice guy sometimes.”

“Isn’t he?  Whenever Minhyun hyung is too busy to come get me – he always drops me off. Ah, Daehwi - what are you getting?” Seonho whips out a credit card, flashing the gold all around the lobby of their building as they walk into the dal.komm shop.

“Are you –“ He looks pointedly towards the card.  Seonho grins brightly and nods. “Ice Caramel Latte, please.” Hey, if the kid’s made of money Daehwi can definitely let Seonho buy his broke ass a drink. “Seonho – who are you anyways?”

Seonho’s confused expression makes sense. “What do you mean?”

“I mean – like you walk in here, 2nd year, job in hand, with some hot professor on your ass, coming from a women’s university-“

He’s not surprised when puppy face starts laughing. “When you put it like that I sound really weird-”

“Maybe you are really weird Seonho – maybe you are.”

Seonho pauses as he rubs the back of his head, he looks confused – like he doesn’t really want to say this but like he also wants to show off. “Do you know who Yoo Ara is?”

“Yeah – she’s only like the biggest musical genius in Korea-“

“I’m Yoo Ara’s son –“

Daehwi feels his eyes widen. No wonder. It explained the royal treatment the kid got from everyone around him. “NO FUCKING WAY.”

“Oh, you know her?”

“Yeah – I mean your mom basically invented the modern sound of Beethoven’s 9th Symphonic movement -  Yoo Ara is the famous pianist who retired ten years ago because her hand was injured, right?”

“That’s the one.  So yeah – I’m her son. She teaches music theory at Ewha now – and well – Minhyun is kind of my default nanny.”

“You have a nanny?”  Seonho just gets weirder and weirder.

“My mom’s not comfortable leaving me alone anywhere – so her assistant professor Hwang Minhyun got me this interview with Jaehwan – and I guess Jaehwan liked me?” Inwardly, Daehwi’s mind flashes back to Dongho’s words – and he doesn’t necessarily think Seonho is entirely aware of the situation –

It might be best to just keep that to himself for now. “So you’re basically musical royalty- born and bred to be a great pianist!” Daehwi grins brightly as the Ice Caramel Latte lands in his hands.

“Yup! Hey, are you ready to head back? I have a meeting with Seongwoo later -”

“Actually – do you want to go without me? I think I need to get something else.” Seonho nods weakly and waves off.

When he walks back alone into Dongho’s studio room he’s not at all fazed by the fact that Dongho seems resolutely determined to continue ignoring him. “I’m back.” Dongho doesn’t face him.

Well – that was enough of that.

Daehwi feels his feet stomp over to his boss of their own accord as he tries one last time before he gets disrespectful. “I’M HERE.”

Dongho sighs and continues looking at the screen. “Lee Daehwi, is there a particular reason you’re two seconds away from throwing a tantrum-“

“YES!”  Daehwi pulls Dongho’s headphones off his ears, knocking the older man into an entirely new daze but at least this time they’re looking each other in the face – something they haven’t done all day. Now that he’s looking at him closer – Dongho looks upset, sad, confused and like he might let it all out on Daehwi if he’s not careful – so he decides to be nice. “If you can hear me breathing heavily – you don’t need those shitty headphones, anyways. We should get you new ones.”

Dongho opens his mouth and then closes it.

He has nothing to say to that.

Good. Time to make him feel even worse for being an asshole all day ON A FRIDAY. Who is an asshole on a Friday?

Daehwi shoves the peace offering drink he’s very carefully crafted at dal.komm into Dongho’s face making the older man’s eyes twist inwards towards his nose. “What is this?”

“Coffee.” Dongho looks between him and the cup then back at Daehwi. “Take a sip, you’ll like it.”

“How do you know I’ll like it? I haven’t tasted it yet.” Dongho points out but at Daehwi’s increasingly irritated expression relents and puts his mouth around the cup in a way that’s almost salacious.

Daehwi’s proud when he watches Dongho look away from the cup and turn to him in surprise. “You ordered almond milk.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“How did you know I’m lactose-intolerant?”

Daehwi shrugs easily turning back to swing into his chair and slide himself closer to his mouse and keyboard. “I moonlight as a psychic on weekends?” Dongho’s staring at him like he doesn’t get the joke so Daehwi sighs as he explains the real reason. “You pulled cheese off your burger the other day when we went out for lunch. Who takes the best part of the burger off?”

“The best part of the burger is the burger – not the cheese.”

“Only someone who doesn’t know the pleasures of cheese would say that.” He turns to look at Dongho to find the man is still staring at him. “Uh – can I help you with something?”

“Yeah.” Dongho laughs as he leans a bit closer to him. “Get me coffee more often.”

Despite the fact he's not saying anything particularly outrageous, Daehwi feels his stomach twist uncomfortably and looks down almost angry at it for betraying him before he turns back to Dongho. “Don’t get used to it – I’m broke, you know. One time deal only.”

“Fine – you don’t have to beg – I’ll buy you coffee cheap ass.” Dongho comes even closer, arm coming over the back of Daehwi's chair as they sit side by side. Reflexively, a smile lands on Daehwi's face and he quickly turns away to the computer screen. He wants to turn to look at Dongho but he also doesn't want his boss to see exactly how wide the smile is on his face. 

Okay, so maybe Dongho doesn't drop him home.

But this was a way better deal. After all, Dongho wasn't going to be buying Seonho coffee every day right? “Normally, I would tell you to correct your misconceptions that I would take a drink from you but it's coffee - and I'm not going to say no to that. Plus, you’re richer than me and I like coffee and this seems like something you should do as a good boss because you're so bad at being a boss normally anyways -“

Dongho groans as he pulls his head into his hands. "God Daehwi- do you ever shut up?"

Thankfully, for the rest of the day – Daehwi doesn't shut up and neither does Dongho. Daehwi even swears that he sees the sadness in Dongho's eyes soften slightly.

Maybe Seonho’s right – they’re not such a bad team together, after all.

 

 

 

It’s Friday night, and honestly you’d think he’d have something better to do by now but he doesn’t.

He’s back at Closet.

Sure! Did he have a good time here, last time? Survey says 'No'! Does that mean he’s learned his lesson? Popular vote agrees that it's still a no!

At least, this time he’s here with different people.

Plus, Jinyoung is nowhere to be seen and Daehwi is happily swaying away to the beat of some nondescript Swedish House Mafia song that has over half the club grinding up against each other.

In some ways, it’s kind of sad that he is becoming a weekly fixture at this place now, starting to look dusted and framed – like he isn’t a novelty but a guarantee on the stools of the second floor bar with its dingy lit white tube lights and Dominatrix dressed bartenders.

It also doesn’t help that in the two weeks since Park Woojin had met Ahn Hyeongsub - his house had basically become double date central between the two couples and he’s been left fifth wheeling.

Third wheeling he can handle, he’s great at third wheeling, did it most of his life before he met Jinyoung–

But fifth wheeling? That’s a bit much even for him.

“So like he asked me to take my clothes off right-“ For god’s sake – he’s practically third wheeling right now. He should be paying attention to Samuel communicate some fake ass story to them instead of drowning in his own sorrows.

He hadn’t seen his high school friends in forever for absolutely no good reason.

Actually, there had been a good reason before – Jinyoung hated them. He thought Samuel was too clingy, Somi was too bitchy and Daehwi spoke entirely too much English when he was hanging out with them.

Daehwi can’t even blame him, it’s all too true. Samuel is a clingy mess, Somi always speaks faster than she thinks and Daehwi can’t help it! He almost never speaks English in his everyday life anymore so when he’s with them, a switch turns on and he’s almost incapable of legitimate Hangul.

Honestly, sometimes Jinyoung was so petty “So- obviously you complied –“

“Yo bitch – you think I’m that easy?” Samuel looks offended. “I obviously asked for how much FIRST! Plus as a model – you get asked that kind of thing pretty often actually for legitimate reasons – it was just weird because this time it was by some famous guy.” Samuel snickers. “Still though, Karl L is one crazy motherfucker.”

Somi turns to look at Daehwi confused as she leans against the dusty, sticky bar with no concern. “Honestly, Samuel – what is your job even?”

“Well – according to models.com, I’m due to enter the top 50 models worldwide soon so- I guess you can now call me a Pitbull JR? Just call me Mr.International baby! This modelling thing is part time obviously till my rap career takes off -“ He grins brightly at them obviously proud to relay this information to his best friends as Daehwi nodds along, patting his back encouragingly. Samuel had essentially given up on university to do this so he is happy that his friend is excelling in his chosen field so quickly. “But yo, have I told you guys how shit it is that female models get paid TRIPLE what male models get paid? LIKE I OBJECT TO THIS GENDER PAY GAP.” Both Daehwi and Somi scoff, disinterested _._  “Guys! Gender pay equality is a serious issue – if I was in banking you’d care about this a lot more- it’s just cause I’m a model-“

Somi rolls her eyes. She’s never taken Samuel seriously but how can Daehwi blame her when Samuel himself never takes Samuel seriously?

It’s probably the reason they aren’t together yet. “Kim Samuel, are you in banking?”

“SURE! I’m banking on my good looks.” Samuel moves closer to Somi, leaning over as he lets his eyes melt into an easy smile with the obvious goal to charm his way into Somi’s leather pants.

Somi, as always, acts like she’s not interested. “Yo – Daehwi, how sick of this guy are you?”

“HEY –you’re the one who thinks we need him around to make us look cooler.” Daehwi reaches for another one of the shots on their shared tray. Was this his fourth?

His sixth?

Ah- what does it matter? His liver will tell him when he’s done right?

Just as he’s about to order another tray of whatever the bartender would be willing to serve them YMCA comes on; Somi starts screaming loudly.

Honestly, why she’s screaming Daehwi’s not sure.

It’s YMCA. At a Gay Bar. This is the most predictable thing in the universe.

“GUYS – YMCA – LET’S GO DO OUR ROUTINE!”

Daehwi snickers as he remembers the way all of them had become friends. The three outcasts who had managed to band together when no one wanted to hang out with them.

Doing their middle school dance routine and reliving those moments sounds like a horrible idea.

Samuel bites his tongue through his teeth, looking between Somi and the dance floor. “Dude, you sure? I mean – after last time - ”

“Uh – EXCUSE ME?”

Daehwi clears his throat as he places a hand on her shoulder. “Somi, honey, last time you burst out crying on the dance floor because some guy grabbed your ass and then apologized because he thought you were a dude-.”

The reminder makes her blush. “WELL – I wear make-up every day now– so like – no one will confuse anything-“

“Dude – I don’t know I still think you’re just a hot looking guy –“ Daehwi spits out his alcohol laughing when Somi has taken it upon herself to jump on top of Samuel and start pulling his hair. “YO! STOP! YOU SPENT ALL NIGHT STYLING US UP TO LOOK THIS FRESH-“

“And it’s mine to ruin asshole! You don’t see Daehwi being a rude prick-“

“YEAH – WELL- RELAX DRAMA QUEEN - WE BOTH KNOW I’M OBVIOUSLY JOKING.” Samuel only barely manages to pull a huffing Somi off him.

Daehwi takes a deep breath shaking his head as he hands both of them make-up shots. “Come on-“

Somi and Samuel glare at each other as they loop their hands through each other and take the lovers shot before breaking away from each other.

Eh – he gave it a shot.

Somi clears her throat looking to change the subject quickly – and so Daehwi becomes her target. “So – when are we going to talk about the breakup?”

“Break up? Sorry don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“Bitch you ain’t Mariah Carey –“ Daehwi grins cheekily despite himself as he takes the outstretched glass of water that Samuel hands him.

“Honestly guys – I’m fine. I’m fine! I swear!  Like tonight? If a hot guy comes up to me – and politely in an appropriate manner asks me to dance with him like – I’ll go dance and ditch both your asses. Pinky promise! That’s how much I don’t care about Bae Jinyoung.” Daehwi tilts his glass cordially as Somi pecks his cheek lovingly making him scrunch up his nose. “Honestly, WHY Somi?”

Somi doesn’t respond except to shove her face into his neck and purr like a cat in a manner that is disturbing, comforting and adorable all at once.

Samuel snickers behind his hands. “Well – at least this is better than what you were like yesterday. I swear that Jinwoon-“

God, no wonder Jinyoung didn’t like them – his friends were assholes. They were amazing – but they were assholes. “Sam - his name is Jinyoung- I know you guys don’t like him but - “

“Sweety, being obsessed with the correct architecture of your ex’s name is not helping your case.” Somi’s hands pat his back as Daehwi gulps down another questionably numbered shot and stalks off towards the dance floor without another word. “You’re obviously not FINE!”

They want him to act cool? FINE. He’ll be cool. He’ll be fucking amazing. He’ll own the dance floor, the stage and half the men in this freaking club if it proves to Somi and Samuel that HE IS FINE.

Sure – so maybe sometimes – he gets a little emotional too – but he’s fine. It’s not a big deal that on most of their recent snap stories, Jinyoung and Jihoon were usually together. And it’s even less of a matter that Hyeongsub mentioned that he’d gone over to Jinyoung’s place to be welcomed by Jihoon. So yeah -

He’s fine. HE IS TOTALLY FINE.

He’s probably not fine.

His eyes glance over the crowd around him. Maybe hooking up with someone new might be healthy. It might feel good to be a little stupid?

Thankfully before he makes said stupid regrettable morning-after decision, he’s joined by his friends. Somi wraps her arms around his neck so they’re dancing face to face. “Daehwi – I know they’ve been posting stuff and you should really stop giving a fuck.”

“She’s right.” Samuel yells as Daehwi rolls his eyes shaking his head.

“Guys – please have a little faith in me?” They really shouldn’t have faith in him. He’s obviously lying. “I don’t give a fuck- I’m so over fucks-“

“Dude –“ Samuel stops his weird moonwalk to place a hand on Daehwi’s shoulder. “I was with you when you saw that snap story – it was bad. You looked like someone had killed your cat, skinned her alive and made a hat with her fur-“

“Too descriptive Cruella-“ Somi snickers, immediately leaning back into Samuel when his hands drop from Daehwi’s shoulders to circle Somi’s waist instead.

Ahh – he’d been wondering when that’d start. First came the fighting, then the silent treatment, then the make up and finally the age old – ‘ _Somi and Samuel are going to dance together and use Daehwi as an excuse to keep it PG-13_ ’.

Well, he’s not sticking around this time. Honestly, they’re all 21 now – if they still need him around for this shit they were more juvenile about acknowledging their feelings for each other than he’d thought. “HEY - I’M GOING TO GET A DRINK.” Somi frowns at him but Samuel's grin is grateful as he waves him off energetically.

Hey - who is he to stop Samuel from making a move?

He lets out a sigh, pausing again in the crowd of people on his way to the bar.

Tonight, he just isn’t feeling Closet.

If he was honest, he didn’t really feel it on any given night.

Closet before had been a promised night of laughs into his ears, kisses in corners, making fun of his friends with Jinyoung's arms over his frame - and now?

None of this shit felt like it mattered anymore without Jinyoung beside him.

Daehwi feels the fake smile on his face drop once he's far enough from Somi and Samuel. He's realized that what he’s feeling is loneliness – and sure he’s been single before – but this?

This is a feeling he could learn to hate because if he’s being honest with himself - he’d admit that it's not just at Closet that he feels this way. 

He feels like this everywhere.

He’s just about to continue to his sad mission to the bar when a hand grabs him and he literally shrieks as he’s pulled into the air and down into the grasp of some random guy -

HONESTLY – who the hell does he think he is? Daehwi’s ready to give the stranger a piece of his mind when he feels himself turn to stone in the man’s stronghold.

Oh god, this moment is all his nightmares come true.

“BABE! There you are!”

What the fuck?

Why the hell is Kang Dongho calling him babe?

More importantly - why is Kang Dongho at Closet in the first place?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it :) Thank you all for reading :D I love you all and see you soon! (very soon!)


	5. The Friday - Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And - Friday Part II :D *blows kisses to jxxhyxns for all the editing help on this chapter too <3*

WHY IS HE –

OH GOD –

Kang Dongho is trying to dance with him.

Daehwi glances down between them accusingly. Indeed, the older man is moving his surprisingly-not-creaking hips against his.

It’s nothing inappropriate. If anything, it looks like they were going to ask if the hills were alive with the Sound of Music while doing the Can Can – but –

Daehwi’s not into doing the Can Can or the Macarena or even YMCA with Kang Dongho! This is not the party he signed up for tonight!

Unfortunately for him, any efforts to push the older man away are halted when Dongho’s lips rest hot on his ears. Daehwi literally feels the heat from Dongho's mouth coating his neck and jumps in the air, unable to escape Dongho's jail like stronghold. “Daehwi – I’m so sorry. Please save me, Minki’s walked away and left me all alone with this tall Chinese guy who barely speaks Korean and I THINK this man just grabbed – you know - that - “ Dongho breaks off as Daehwi stills in his arms. “Please.” The sheer stress in Dongho’s voice is enough to convince Daehwi to stay put in his grasp – for now.

He glances outwards to confirm that there is indeed a very tall, VERY handsome Chinese guy looking at them waiting for some sort of reaction from Dongho.

That’s weird.

This guy is pretty, really pretty, like he’s so pretty that if he’d chosen to pay attention to Daehwi instead of Dongho he would not have that confused expression on his face.  

Daehwi’s eyes flicker back to Dongho’s as he assesses the older man’s expression, a standard cross between ‘please save me’ and ‘ ** _please SAVE me_** ’.

He holds back a snicker, nodding to answer Dongho’s silent plea. His boss’s face immediately crumbles to relief as he turns back to start shooing the other guy away –

But the words never find their way out of his mouth because as Dongho’s turned away Daehwi's fingers reach upwards to touch the skin around Dongho's mouth.

Huh - there's no stubble there. “Wow – uh – did you actually shave?"

Dongho blinks dumbly as he pulls his face away from Daehwi's overly confident fingers. "It's not that big a deal - "

"Sure it is - I yelled at you that you're a porcupine and your instant reaction is to shave -"

"It's not instant - it's been like three weeks. I was coming out -"

"Obviously." Daehwi points around them laughing and at that Dongho bursts out laughing and raises a hand towards him which Daehwi immediately takes to high five before he starts jumping up and down to the music.

The extremely tall, terribly handsome Chinese guy is suddenly standing right beside them, staring at Daehwi with an intensity that he may have found flattering on any other day but right now just served to make him rub Dongho’s cheeks with more than a healthy sense of possessive nature. “Who is this guy -?” 

“THIS IS BOYFRIEND.” Dongho points towards him yelling which honestly between all three of them looks like quite the odd situation.

Honestly - who the hell would believe that?

Even in this state, where they’re practically wrapped around each other, they look nothing like a couple. Daehwi's cackling away at how ludicrous this situation feels and Dongho is not convincing anyone that he feels anything more than some weirdly placed affection for Daehwi. 

This guy’s a complete idiot if he falls for Dongho’s lie.

Actually, more importantly, Daehwi has a lot of questions he should probably be asking Kang Dongho before he commits to letting Kang Dongho use him like this to get rid of some hot perverted guy.

Like – whoa – Kang Dongho, you like guys? COOOOOL. ME TOOOOOO.

Or like – whoa – Kang Dongho you come to college gay bars? COOOOOOOL. ME TOOOOO.

But he settles on one very important question, thankful for the shots in his bloodstream that blur the lines of their relationship for him. He sidles closer to Dongho, tilting his head into Dongho’s ear.  “Yo - do I get paid extra for this?”

Jinyoung was probably right, Samuel is a bad influence on him.

Dongho jumps back, arms immediately releasing him like Daehwi's inappropriate question on his rate has essentially reminded him this is a weird weird thing to ask of his intern. “NO!” The vehemently communicated answer only serves to make Daehwi laugh harder.

Poor guy looks like he’s been traumatized and tantalized all at once. “You sure? You have thirty seconds to change your mind or I leave you here with pretty boy.” Daehwi teases, trailing his hands over Dongho’s neck feeling his pulse quicken under his fingertips.

Honestly, he is just a little too good at this – but he has to be convincing, right? After all, Chinese guy is still looking at them.

Thankfully, even if Daehwi's lost all sense of propriety because his of his good friend Jack Daniels – Dongho hadn’t. “Uh Daehwi – I’m your boss.” Honestly, who the hell is Dongho kidding? There’s no power, no respect dynamic between them – and Daehwi's kind of thankful for it. They're almost friends. Almost. “Ya - Daehwi-ya, can’t you just do what I say?”

“Uh – no. I like it when I get rewarded for my hard work, and this is hard. Pretending to like you? Psht, hardest thing I’ve done all weeeeeek.” Daehwi makes a move to separate himself from where he’s pressed into his boss’s right side.

Almost immediately, Chinese guy pounces like he’s waiting to take his place and he makes a quick reach for  Dongho’s –

Oh. Wow.

Guy had balls.

Almost literally in his hands.

Dongho must have been some sort of athlete in a past life because once again in a split second, Daehwi feels the man’s fingers latch onto his shoulders placing him in front of him like a shield. "Daehwi, please. I'll get you coffee for a week?”

“You literally promised me that a few hours ago anyways – lame.” Daehwi's about to laugh again at how desperate his boss is when Dongho uses his shoulders to whip him around so roughly that he literally crashes face first into Dongho’s irritatingly hard chest.

Jesus – did the guy have to exercise so much that he ended up being built like the Great Wall?

He’s just about to look up to yell at Dongho when his heart stops in his chest.

Shit – this is too close. Even for him. At his sides, Daehwi's hands jitter with confusion as they try to figure out whether it would be totally appropriate for his hands to crawl towards Dongho’s hips for sheer balance needs  -

Dongho is less affected, in fact he just looks annoyed. “New headphones, state of the art, yours to keep for after the internship-“

Oh right – he had been asking for stuff.

That’s how they got into this position.

The realization makes the jittery feeling halt and he smiles upwards brilliantly. “And a bonus! Like Cash. Dollah dollah bill, y’all.” Dongho looks at him like he’s about to throw up or die from cringing. Though Daehwi's not sure if it's because he asked for a bonus or if it's because he asked for it like a gangsta. “Whatever dude – you know my swag is fresh, my rhymes be ill and this sitch aint even that chill - so if you aint gonna bite, please let a boy know cause right now baby? I got to put on a show -“

"Dear god - please stop rapping. You're going to make my ears bleed."

"I NEVER. I AM A MUSICAL PURITANIST." Daehwi pushes his shoulders lightly when he sees Dongho laugh straight at him. Something about how happy and relaxed he looks, and what a difference it is from how he looked earlier today, makes Daehwi want to make him laugh harder. "Kang Dongho - why you try so hard to be so rude? Don't you know that you're kinda my fav office dude? Don't you know that looking crude like you do is gonna get you boo-"

With zero warning, Dongho’s pulls his face down to Daehwi’s incredibly close, making his hair stand on edge.

The jittery feeling returns but this time he lets his fingers loop through the belt hooks on Dongho's jeans - it's the most appropriate place he can think of.

Sure, they’re not actually kissing – but it sure as hell looks close to it and despite the fact it's the thing he wants least in the world he finds his eyes closing. It won't be that bad anyways right - this is what they need to convince the Chinese guy to go away and leave Dongho’s merch alone - “Have you always been this good at extorting money from others?” 

Just like that - Kang Dongho is an asshole again. Daehwi frowns, he earned that money – he dealt with this piece of shit every day. “Hey - have you always been into younger guys?” Daehwi looks pointedly between them and almost immediately Dongho puts some more distance between them. Daehwi smirks proudly as he uses the belt hooks to close the gap watching Dongho's eyes flicker nervously between them. “You want this to look convincing or what?” The colour on Dongho’s cheeks accelerate from pink to red as he nods carefully. Daehwi snickers as he runs a hand easily down Dongho's face. “This really does feel nice...like a baby's butt.”

Dongho rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to be so convincing – he can't understand what you're saying that well -“

“I mean it.” Dongho’s eyes widen. Is that so surprising? “Shave more often. You’ll land more dudes like that-”

“Hey attention is great - but like - balls are off limits. Honestly, if that guy just left me the fuck alone I’d be happy-“

“That’s very counter intuitive – you have to come to Closet ready to be approached by people.” Honestly, what was the fun in clubbing otherwise? “Personally, I think he’s actually really cute – I’d go for it if I was you-“ When Daehwi whips around to look at their third wheel – Chinese guy is gone.

Apparently, Dongho has realized this as well. “Yo – Daehwi - Deal is off!”

“You promised!" He feels his feet stomp irritated as he seperates himself from their inappropriate embrace. “I still want those headphones – and I did a good job making it look like we were doing more than talking about my bonus. I DESERVE that bonus. Your breath is stinky!“

"What a fucking liar - I know I had gum before-" Dongho realizes that he's basically explaning his breath to a 21 year old and he groans. “God, Daehwi- I thought you were just difficult  at work – but you’re difficult everywhere."

"I know! Isn't it great?" Daehwi places his fingers on his cheeks cutely and he catches Dongho snicker nervously.  In his own way, Dongho has made the night a little bit better.

At the very least, it’s a bit more interesting now. For one, he didn’t know his boss was into guys. “Who are you here with anyways?” Dongho starts dancing lightly.

Daehwi follows the beat but thankfully they stay separate from each other. “Just some high school friends - who are you here with?” That is the more interesting question – Dongho just doesn't fit in here.  In his plain black jeans and plainer white T-Shirt, he feels lack-lustre under Closet’s brilliant lights.

Suddenly, Daehwi remembers what he looks like right now.

He's wearing make-up today for god’s sakes.

In front of his boss.

And with how close they’d gotten – there’s no way that Dongho didn’t notice.

Curse Somi for convincing him to wear make-up today, stupid cosmetician in training _‘You’ll look great Daehwi – better than winkface!’._

Curse Samuel for encouraging such stupid behaviour because _‘It’s no big deal! I’m doing it too! Somi spend extra time on my lips please!’_.

Honestly – he needs to stop hanging out with them. They’re always more trouble than he bargains for.

And of course – Dongho has been speaking to him this whole time and, of course, Daehiw’s been completely ignoring him. “You know Minki and Aron-“ Daehwi pretends to nod along understandably like he knows where this conversation started from. “They think I need to get out more.”

“You do need to get out more. You spend all your time in the studio.” The immediate frown on his boss’s face makes him quickly adjust his words. “I mean – you’re really good at your job – so it makes sense why you want to do it all the time-“ Well that’s not working, Dongho’s frown only intensifies when wrinkles are added to his forehead. “HEY! Where are Minki and Aron now?”

At this, Dongho shuffles awkwardly. “Uh –“ He starts looking through the crowds. “You know like – washroom? Maybe? Bar?”

Daehwi smiles to himself, arms folded over his chest as he looks at the awkwardly shuffling Dongho. “You don’t know where they are, do you?”

“Uh- not a clue.” Dongho's head is tilted down shyly. “I’ve literally never been here before despite the fact I live like ten minutes away.” Dongho lives near Closet? Daehwi feels his jaw drop. Closet is in the best part of Hongdae, literally a cess pool of rich young 20 somethings. “Hey - if you need to get back- it’s fine- I mean – I’ll be fine-“

Daehwi reaches for his hands quickly twining their fingers together. To be fair, he doesn’t really have a choice in this situation, right? “Just come along – you can hang with my friends and I, atleast until Minki and Aron find you."

The handholding is a precautionary measure - it won’t do to lose clubbing baby Dongho in the throngs of people and as it is Dongho appears to be fairly unaware of the club’s landscape.

What’s more surprising is that Dongho is shockingly obedient. He’s following Daehwi diligently, pulling through the claustrophic masses of human bodies. When he turns back to check on him, Daehwi’s caught unaware by the grateful smile on Dongho’s face.

 

It’s fine – really – Dongho’s making a big deal out of nothing. Sure, they’re not that close and there’s no reason for Daehwi to bring him over to his friends-

But it also doesn’t feel right to let the guy suffer all alone in the middle of the dance floor where some pretty boy is sure to come after Dongho’s freshly shaved skin…and that’s only the PG-13 scenario.

He finally spots Somi and Samuel only to stop and smile to himself. Well, at least his temporary absence wasn’t for naught – the two of them are laughing, foreheads leaned into each other, noses practically touching. “I’m back!”

Somi literally shrieks as she jumps apart from Samuel who looks oddly proud as his eyebrows do a creepy little private wiggle for Daehwi.

Daehwi passes him a knowing smile. He’d ask about that later.

“Dae bae! You found yourself a friend for the night!” Somi turns to Dongho holding her hand out politely as she casts a teasing look to Daehwi.

Honestly – this girl – did this look like that sort of 'friend'?

“We’re not friends.”

Daehwi feels his eyes bug out when he realizes that Dongho’s said the same thing as him at exactly the same time. It's also when he feels a pull on his hand. Dongho looks down and Daehwi follows his gaze as he realizes that he hasn’t let go of Dongho’s hand yet.

It’s quickly released. “I mean – this is Kang Dongho - he’s actually my boss-”

Once introductions are made and music is half-heartedly danced to - Somi quickly pulls his elbow through her arms. “Uh – you know your boss is freaking hot, right?” Daehwi turns back from her to give her an offended and mildly disgusted expression as he has to listen to the torture of her elaborating on the topic. “Broad shoulders, built pecs-“

Okay - he's going to stop her there, only because he knew from experience Somi's brain would definitely venture south of his abs and he didn't need that imagery in his mind. “Honestly Somi, keep it in your pants- he's like - weird. Please don't do something stupid and try to pursue him or something -.”

“Dae bae - this wasn't for me. It was for you.” She winks at him and he feels his stomach plummet to the floor.

Did she just -?

That little –

Ugh! No, he refuses to think about it - Somi’s being stupid, as usual. She needs to get her power checked again because the girl’s looking at things from a completely skewed perspective. Dongho doesn’t look like what Somi thinks he looks like.

Sure, in the general sense, Dongho’s body is of above average fitness level, his face is okay too, and Daehwi supposes that now that he knows him better Dongho can, on occasion, actuallly be funny -

But –

The fact remains that Kang Dongho is Kang Dongho.

He turns his head to see Dongho laugh at something Samuel says and feels his stomach twist uncomfortably –

Doesn’t it suck that he’s not actually able to define what it is that Kang Dongho being Kang Dongho means?

When he turns to look at Somi, she opens her mouth to say something else but he’d rather not hear it. That's more than enough confusion for one night thank you very much. “You - don’t start with me.” He cautions as she makes a pained face but complies to his request and they start dancing together. He needs another drink – not that he ever managed to get one before because of Kang Dongho. “Hey, do you want another drink?” Somi shrugs, nodding along weakly –

He turns towards the Drag Bar at the back of the dance floor and his eyes immediately catch sight of a small head of brilliantly red hair attached to a short and fairly built body.

He squints and makes a move to disregard it, continuing on his mission for more liquor when he sees it –

There’s a head of bouncy black hair right beside the red head and inexplicably Daehwi’s feet turn to walk towards the pair instead of the bar.

He’s almost certain it’s just his imagination playing tricks on him but - because he’s a sucker for pain – he needs to see it to believe he’s a paranoid asshole.

From behind him, he’s vaguely aware of Somi saying his name loudly but he can’t really pay attention as he starts running towards the increasingly close twosome.

He’s dreaming – he has to be dreaming – he’s dreaming right?

In seconds, he’s in front of them.

He's not dreaming. He's not paranoid, though maybe he is an asshole.

Park Jihoon and Bae Jinyoung are here. Together.

He feels the knot in his throat build as he recognizes himself in Jihoon’s place easily because this is a date he recognizes.

Daehwi feels - everything he's doing to Jihoon.

Jinyoung's arms fold over his shoulders, Jinyoung’s hands play on his hips and Jinyoung's forehead is right on his - the only warning he ever really has before-

“Hi!” Daehwi’s practically screaming the word at the couple because he doesn’t want to see them kiss – that would be too much, even for him.

His unexpected announcement has both boys jolted out of their embrace as they look towards him with identical guilty expressions on their faces.

Honestly, he’s not sure what they feel guilty about. It’s been at least two months since he broke up with Jinyoung and a bit more than a month since his disastrous date with Jihoon. This is an inevitable outcome, there's no reason for the two of them to be apart and it isn’t like he’s actually with either of them anymore.

In all fairness, being together now is their right.

Maybe that’s the point – maybe Daehwi had always been a blip in Jinyoung’s life. A rebound that got too clingy, too serious and maybe that was his fault and –

Maybe this will be the encouragement he needs to forget the way Jinyoung’s kisses flutter over his skin; the kind way his eyes can peer into every one of his walled expressions; the reassuring presses of his fingers into Daehwi’s palm.

This time, Jinyoung doesn’t reach for him immediately like he had when Daehwi had misunderstood his relationship with Hyeongsub.

This time, Jinyoung’s fingers latch on possessively to Jihoon’s wrist, keeping him in place when he tries to create distance between them simply out of consideration for Daehwi.

This time, Jinyoung turns to look at Daehwi with an expression that very clearly says he’s not going to explain himself like he did last time.

That makes sense, he has no right to demand an explanation and whatever that explanation could be – he probably doesn’t want to hear it anyways.

“Hey.” Even if Jinyoung looks at him like this, with anger and hatred in his expression, Daehwi still feels his heart melt in the most masochistic way possible. “I didn’t expect to run into you here - trolling for a hook-up I guess?” Jinyoung’s words make him flinch as he looks down in shame.

He deserves that after the way their last conversation had panned out. “Not really – I mean – I’m with Somi and Samuel. He just got back from Milan – “Jinyoung looks even more disinterested. “I just thought I’d come say hi-“

“Great. Hi Daehwi.” Even as he’s saying hello what Jinyoung is really saying is good bye and Daehwi feels his heart squeeze in his chest. Looking at Jinyoung is painful because all that’s left of them is this cold acquaintanceship.

So, Daehwi looks at Jihoon instead. Jihoon is a remarkably pleasing sight for his eyes as the only slightly older boy smiles at him.

In fact, Jihoon looks so bright in his happiness that Daehwi’s sure he could light up the whole club on his own.

Jinyoung has no patience for this situation as he immediately rolls his eyes and turns away from him reaching for Jihoon’s shoulders. “Well – great to see you - if that’s it then –“

That isn’t it.

How can Daehwi let them leave without asking them the only question that’s been on his mind the past two weeks? “Uh - are you two – dating now? Again?” Jihoon and Jinyoung turn to each other at the same time, looking for permission from the other. Daehwi doesn’t know exactly what they’re asking permission for but that exchange itself is more than enough reason for Daehwi to not actually want to hear the answer. “I’m –“ He wants to say he’s happy for them but he’s not so he ends up standing there with the base of his skull warning him of a headache. “Cool.”

He’s not really that either.

In fact, he feels like he might not be strong enough to have this conversation without breaking down in pieces in front of them or running away - both of which seem like increasingly pathetic reactions -

Daehwi feels his body jump in the air when a pair of strong, and vaguely familiar, arms wrap over his shoulders. “Hey, you okay?” Dongho whispers into his ears and he turns to look at Dongho with widened eyes. “I mean – “ Dongho nods his chin towards Jinyoung and Jihoon like they're troublemakers he has to protect Daehwi from. “You know these guys? They your friends?”

“Something like that yeah.” He ends up mumbling, leaning inwards towards the older man. Honestly, he’s happy he can use Dongho a little right now.

Dongho immediately relaxes as he smiles at Jinyoung and Jihoon, blindly lifting his hand from Daehwi’s shoulder to reach it forward to shake their hands instead. “Hi, I’m Kang Dongho –”

Jinyoung looks physically hurt just by the sound of Dongho’s name.

Not that he has any right to be, but he looks straight at Daehwi for an explanation that Daehwi doesn’t want to give him.

Daehwi is, however, able to smile foolishly as he watches his ex-boyfriend’s face run through a myriad of expressions. In fact, the only conculsion Daehwi is able to reach when Jinyoung practically scoffs at Kang Dongho’s outstretched friendly hand is that the love of his life is actually jealous at the idea that Daehwi may have finally moved on.

Thankfully, Jihoon is much more mature and immediately shakes Dongho’s outstretched hands while Jinyoung and Daehwi continue to stare each other down. “I’m Park Jihoon, this is Bae Jinyoung – it’s nice to meet you. Are you a student as well?”

The idea is so ludicrous that Daehwi can’t hold himself back from giggling. Dongho looks at him obviously offended by the way his intern is laughing so hard he's clutching his sides. “Hey, I could be a student! I look younger when I’m shaved.”

Daehwi coughs as he covers the smile on his face, unsuccessfully. “Kang Dongho-ssi I’m sorry but the idea of you as a student here -”

“Yah – Lee Daehwi it hasn’t been that long since I was a student you know - “

“Yeah grandpa, sure.  Was that before or after you lost your 20/20 vision to the studio?” Dongho pinches him and Daehwi squeals as he uses his balled up fists to punch the older guy on his arms pointlessly. Dongho's just laughing at him anyways. “Jihoon - we work together at my internship.”

“Yeah – he’s constantly bribing me. Daehwi's kind of a little shithead.” Dongho bumps his shoulder jokingly and Daehwi rubs it lightly, pouting.

Their oddly peaceful exchange is short-lived when Somi and Samuel come up behind Daehwi, decidedly aware of exactly what was running through his mind. He groans when he hears Samuel speak up. “BAE JINWOON! Nice to see you, guy! How you been? Still sporting that same handsome do of yours – I LOVE your hair man – great hair – honestly please tell me where you get your hair done – like - ” Samuel hugs an increasingly irritated Jinyoung over the shoulders.

“Yeah – you guys too.” Daehwi wants to laugh but he’s also pretty sure that Jinyoung is about three seconds away from ripping Samuel’s head off for fucking his name up again and that might push him over the edge.  

Somi is decidedly less friendly, choosing to stick to Daehwi’s other side defensively. “Hey Jinyoung, you guys met Daehwi’s new _friend_ , right?” Somi doesn’t explicitly say it but her tone of voice definitely leaves something to be desired as Daehwi flushes bright red.

He bites his lips and risks a look upwards at Dongho whose just smiling along jovially.

God, is this guy an idiot or does he just not understand the situation they’re in right now?

Jinyoung doesn’t say a word to respond to Somi as he glares her down and she returns in kind. 

“Hey -  didn’t you guys say you were going home?” Samuel looks at Dongho and Daehwi pointedly as Daehwi feels his stomach flop into itself. 

God - were they trying to get him fired? What if Dongho really starts thinking that Daehwi's into him?  “Yeah – I mean – you’ve got a LONGGGG night planned ahead of you.” Somi winks obviously at them which makes Jihoon burst out laughing.

Okay, if Dongho didn’t know what Samuel was insinuating before – he definitely freaking knew now that Somi had opened her big mouth.

This was a good time for Daehwi to go find himself a very nice hole in a very nice sewer outside of Closet to go drown himself in – “I guess - let’s go?” Daehwi’s stupefied, jaw on the floor, eyes bugged out of his head.

This cannot be happening.

He is not going home with Kang Dongho.

And yet apparently he is, because Dongho's fingers are connecting through the gaps in Daehwi's.

He risks one last look at Jinyoung who doesn't return his gaze.  “It was very nice to meet all of you!” Dongho bows his head appropriately as he looks at him for permission to start moving and Daehwi nods.

When they step through the heavy black entrance of the club and out onto the street, Dongho lets go of his hand and Daehwi can’t help but think it’s a bit unfortunate. Dongho’s hand is kind of nice. It’s large, soft and comfortingly warm.  “Feeling better?”

“Sorry – I mean I don’t know what happened back there.” Daehwi pretends to let out a bright smile, careful to act extra hard so Dongho can’t determine how he actually feels. “You were super helpful though-“

“That’s who you’re writing the song about right? The dark eyed guy who kept looking at me like he was tempted to beat the shit out of me?”

As wonderful as the idea of a jealous Bae Jinyoung is, he can’t really imagine a strong success rate in his favour for that fight in any universe. “Uh - could anyone actually beat the shit out of you?”

“Sure – Minki beats me up all the time. Speaking of, I need to text him that I left – “ Daehwi watches Dongho text away on his phone before a ping announces itself and he quickly looks up to Daehwi. “Hey Minki brought up a good point - how are you actually getting home?”

“Ah – please don’t worry about me.” He bows gratefully. “I just take the bus normally – there’s a stop on Toegyo-ro -“

“No shit!” Daehwi raises an eyebrow as Dongho grins brightly at him and points in the direction. “I’m walking there too I live in one of the buildings in that area.”

Daehwi leans backwards stretching his muscles as they start walking towards the stop. “Hey – I just want to say thanks for that back there. I mean Somi and Samuel were trying to make you look like my boyfriend because they're good friends but I should have warned you first -”

Dongho saves him from himself. “Hey man, you helped me with the guy who kept touching – stuff – and I’m just returning the favour.” He looks at him. "Honestly, aren't the best things in life free, Lee Daehwi?"

“Yeah – nice try. Dude, you still owe me the headphones and the bonus- “

“I DID MORE FOR YOU THAN YOU DID FOR ME! You just rubbed my cheeks! I protected you from your ex! I should be the one getting headphones.” Daehwi feels an evil cackle escape his lips.

“Hey – the cheek rubbing thing worked, didn’t it?”

“It worked very well.” Dongho agrees snickering behind his hands as they turn onto Toegyo-ro. “Wah, what a leech, Lee Daehwi-“

“Thank you for appreciating my good qualities but this  brings us to my stop – you can go on now.” He points towards the bus pole and sees Dongho hesitate visibly as he glances between Daehwi and their surroundings. 

“You’ll be okay? Should I wait with you?” Daehwi shakes his head, thankful for the offer. “Okay, well – see you on Monday?”

"Remember, headphones, coffee, bonus check-"

"Remember - HR can fire you anytime I tell them to -"  Daehwi sticks his tongue out. Dongho laughs and waves as he starts to walk away and Daehwi feels his body lean into the bus pole, letting the metal cool his head.

All things considered, this night has been anything but boring – but he’s relieved that it’s almost over.

This was already quite enough excitement for one night.

Ominously, the sky rumbles to let him know it disagrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and you thought Friday was over - psht - 
> 
> Stan W1 :D new single out later today!!! (omg guys Minhyun in a police uniform, Daniel as a boxer, just kill me now + Daehwi's beautiful voice in 'Beautiful' - like I'm ready guys - lets do this)
> 
> ALSO ALSO- have a good Monday!


	6. The Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning - pretty heavy two dudes making out drunk (there I ruined the chapter for everyone)** (so important I'm bolding it!!!)
> 
> P.S. nothing actually happens bc minor Daehwi in reality (tho remember please he's aged up here so I do go a little ham-mer here than I go in LI)
> 
> Hopefully I don't make anyone toooo uncomfortable but if I do I apologize (that was not my intention BUT just in case I have increased the rating on this story -) 
> 
> Also this is the longest chapter of life. I wanted to split it into two - but like - there was no clear break. So uh - I just prepped it all.
> 
> ALSO - please tell me if you see typos and stuff - editing this was a pain and a half (hopefully it's not that bad T.T)

 

 

In minutes, the downpour starts. Daehwi sighs, looking towards his phone – the bus won’t get to the stop for another 10 minutes.

He rubs his arms as drops of water make their way to his skin through his clothes. It’ll be okay. He can wait it out. He’s already been here for like 15 minutes. How long can the bus really take anyways?

The bus appears to have taken this question as a challenge because even 10 minutes later, his bus isn’t here and now the storm has taken a turn for the worse –

He looks around quickly spotting some semblance of cover by a nearby Ginkgo tree and darts straight there to check his phone again. Except this time he’s barely able to read the screen through the torrents of rain.

His bus is cancelled.

The sky above him lights up dramatically and he glances up at the grey clouds with a frown on his face.  “Seriously, god?! Just when I was starting to feel better?”

The sky lights up again. Like it's laughing at him. 

Okay, maybe he's still a little bit too drunk if he thinks that talking to God like this is going to make the rain stop. The more important question is - how is he going to get home now? 

Walking’s completely out of the question.

A cab might work but the streets are pretty empty on Toegyo-ro and it might take a while to find one in this rain.

He could maybe try Uber but he’s kind of broke and, with the rain, he’s sure that the app has surged the fees to shocking heights –

Is this how he dies?

Frozen like a popsicle because of some ridiculous storm? “God, please take care of my mom.” He mumbles wiping at his face. “Give her everything she’s ever wanted. Make sure Donghyun and Youngmin don’t fight about stupid things and stay together  till they’re wrinkly – I mean they already are but still – you know stay together for a long time. Give Woojin the strength to be more emotional because otherwise Hyeongsub will definitely leave him. If Somi and Samuel don’t figure their shit out – like what-whatever no bi-ig de-deal  –“ Great now he can’t even talk much – that’s how frozen he is.

He’s unceremoniously interrupted by a rough tap on his shoulders and the visual of a completely drenched Kang Dongho. “Daehwi - are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh – no?” He’s chattering as he says this.  

Just as well – Dongho’s not really listening to him anyways. He’s pulled Daehwi under his pathetic GS25 plastic umbrella that’s doing nothing to stop the raindrops from pelting down like bullets on both of them.

The weather app had said sunny, if he gets sick, he can sue someone right? “Geez, Daehwi, you’re totally soaked.” Daehwi feels his heart lunge up to his throat as Dongho quickly maneuvres him so that his arms are over Daehwi's shoulders.

“Uh – “ He wants to tell him to stop but he’s also an icicle and low-key scared of why the hell Dongho’s here in the first place.

He is not expecting Dongho to remove his own leather jacket and pull it over Daehwi’s shoulders.

Daehwi would try to give it back but the residual body heat from the jacket is a welcome sensation. “Move your hands - we have to zip you up. It’s still a bit of a walk to my place -” Daehwi feels his mouth part open to protest that he’s fine but he’s too slow. Dongho’s umbrella is shoved into his hands and Dongho gets working on the clasp of his jacket until he’s pulled the zip all the way up to Daehwi’s neck so that the cloth collar covers Daehwi’s chin. “Feeling better? Can you walk a bit? Do you need me to carry you or something?”

“No-no- why- are you back h-here?”

Dongho frowns as he forces them to start walking. “I didn’t think it’d start raining this bad. The radio said that transport’s been cancelled all over the city and I know how empty this area gets at night. I figured you might have gone home already – so I let some time pass, sorry-“ Dongho bows his head towards him apologetically as he moves through the streets with a blazingly fast speed forcing Daehwi to keep up with him. “Then I remembered how shit the bus service here is- dude come closer you’re still getting wet. This umbrella is not that big.”

“Yo-you’re te-telling me.” Despite the fact that he’s aware it’s not entirely appropriate – Daehwi lets himself be pulled in closer. Great, now he’s cold and uncomfortable.

“I only actually got worried about you when I saw lightning outside – “ Daehwi wants to laugh, he does – who communicates their entire thought process like this? A simple sentence would do but Kang Dongho is not as simple as he likes to think he is. “So I figured a quick run to the stop to check that you weren’t there wouldn’t be a bad idea. I don’t really have your number and I’m not that far at all – see that building up there?” Daehwi pretends to nod along – he’s not even sure where he's pointing to because he can’t really look away from Dongho. The mere sight of the man is making him feel guilty.

Dongho's drenched, his normally straight hair has curled into wisps over his damp forehead and he can feel the way Dongho starts shivering beside him.

God, because of him, Dongho’s walking around in a storm without a jacket on in nothing more than a pair of black pants and this flimsy white shirt that’s-

Whoa.

Daehwi quickly looks down at their feet.

Wait -  Dongho’s wearing flip flops.

Is his boss that stupid?

Isn’t he freezing?

Didn’t he see the rain outside before he left the house?

Does this make any sense? Why would he run out like that?

Daehwi gulps as they make their way into the lobby, Dongho’s shoes make little squishy sounds as they land on the dry carpet.

Daehwi's just about to yell at him to ask him who he thinks he is to run out in the rain like an idiot when he sees the way the pretty yellow light here highlights every curve of muscle in Dongho's shirt –

Okay, so NOW, he kind of got where Somi was coming from.

Dongho was built like a brickhouse. He had that type of strong, sturdy, broad-shouldered figure that you took one look at and either ran for your life or ran straight into his arms.

That knot in his stomach twists harder and he groans looking down at himself in disappointment. Seriously, body? Kang Dongho?  ** _SERIOUSLY?_** He can't entertain that thought. “You okay?” Dongho pulls his hands away from his forehead.

Daehwi falters almost immediately when he takes in how close they are.

In the dim, coloured lighting of the club he couldn’t see a thing – but here? It’s like he can see a world of colour in Dongho’s eyes. He has flecks of pale beige blended into rich brown irises and the shades of Dongho's eyes hypnotize him as he stares dumbly at his boss. Does he know? That his eyes are essentially the eighth wonder of the world?

Fuck what is he doing? “I’m fine.” He pulls Dongho’s hands off his head.

He must be really drunk if he thinks Kang Dongho's scary eyes look pretty.

He needs to look at something else – literally anything else -

Dongho’s lobby is covered in marble from ceiling to floor. There are gold accent lines running through the marble, highlighting the modern architecture of the building while simultaneously giving it an intimidating ostentatious atmosphere that only the rich liked to build up.

As if sensing his thoughts, Dongho turns to look at him with a proud smile. “Yeah it’s nice in here, right? I moved in as soon as I finished my military service since I had a bunch saved up from royalties while I was away– still cold?”

“Yeah – not a big deal though.” Daehwi’s sneeze begs to differ. He pushes himself into a corner of the elevator, as far away from Dongho as he could manage without looking weird.

“I could like – warm you up-“

“No thank you, you’re just as wet and cold - please stay on your end of the elevator-“

“Tea, Daehwi.” Dongho groans. “I was going to warm you up tea. A caffeinated beverage often served hot.” Despite his best efforts, Dongho comes closer to him and Daehwi’s eyes flicker upwards gulping.

Fuck, his eyes are so pretty. They’re so damn pretty. He's never seen eyes this pretty. “Sorry –“ 

He must still be some sort of drunk right?

Nothing looks that good sober.

“It’d be nice if, for once, you let a guy finish his sentences before jumping to conclusions.” Dongho shifts away from him, eyes turned towards the elevator door as it bings open. “This is just like that stupid sex thing.”

Huh.

Dongho’s not wrong –

Daehwi does always assume Dongho means the worst. But, why?

Sure, Dongho’s rude, irritating and overly bossy but he’s also caring, remarkably talented and – at least based on today’s experiences –  

Dongho’s kind. Painfully kind. The type of kind that makes you run out of your house in slippers to save some kid who gives you too much attitude.

The realization hits him like a punch to the stomach as he stares after the back of Dongho’s frame.

Dongho’s so stupid. 

It’s making Daehwi want to protect him. How ludicrous does that sound? Lee Daehwi, broke college student wants to protect Kang Dongho who could probably be a character in Tekken Tag Tournament 2.

Daehwi peeks over Dongho’s shoulder as he puts his security passcode in, effectively making the older man turn towards him with a perplexed expression. “Uh – Daehwi - what are you doing?”

“I’m learning your apartment passcode so I can come steal all your recording equipment. How predictable is 0000? Is that your debit card PIN too?” 

Daehwi smiles to himself as pink touches the edges of Dongho's ears. “You can joke coughing like that?”

“Ah you didn’t deny it - so your debit card PIN is 0000. Shopping spree on Monday – I better tell Seonho -“He teases as he takes his shoes off.

Dongho turns around sharply, his face etched in seriousness as he comes closer to his face.

Daehwi feels his heart lunge into his throat as he closes his eyes again.

But they open just as quickly when Dongho uses his fingers to flick his forehead. “Man – could you stop being an irritating piece of shit for like one second?”

“But it’s my specialty – that, ballads and the piano. I have nothing else in my life." He’s pulled into the house, tripping over stray shoes as Dongho pushes him into his bathroom.

“Here,” Daehwi’s handed a freshly fluffed white towel and some clothes. He looks down at them and back up at Dongho’s face. “Dry yourself off well – don’t be lazy with it like you are with everything else - you don’t get sick leave.”

He nods and turns to the mirror, pulling the towel to his hair fully expecting Dongho to walk away but he stands there.

It’s weirder to look at him like this – through the mirror where Daehwi feels remarkably exposed to the way Dongho’s scrutinizing his efforts in drying himself off – the same stupid way Dongho scrutinizes everything he does. “You want to just stand there the whole night or come in and help me-?”

He was only joking but the invitation has the older man flushed. “Why do you ask for my help with everything? Dongho, dry me off. Dongho, help me write my song. Dongho, help me make my boyfriend jealous.– “

Daehwi laughs to himself as Dongho quickly shuts the door. “PLEASE – YOU  **ARE**  THE WORST PRETEND BOYFRIEND ANYWAYS – WHO NEEDS YOU?”

“I  **WAS** THE WORST PRETEND BOYFRIEND. I’M NOT STILL DOING IT, AM I?” Dongho yells back.

Daehwi turns back to the mirror, a giggle glued to his lips as he marvels at how wonderfully Somi’s make-up has stayed up even through all the rain. What the hell had she used on him?  He pulls the eyeliner out of the pocket of his skinny jeans. He only really needed to touch up a bit of his eye-liner at the corner -

No – wait – he’s in Kang Dongho’s house – touching up his MAKE UP.

The irony of the situation is not lost on him as he quickly throws the pencil back in his pants - he’s not touching shit up. Who the hell is he trying to look good for?

He’s putting the leather jacket aside on the towel rack when the label on the inside of the neck catches his eyes.

Holy shit. He’d just walked through the rain in a Mackage jacket - easily over a grand a piece.

Dongho’s even crazier than he thought. Daehwi has to make sure this jacket isn’t ruined.

Ten minutes later and both his hair and the jacket are dry and he steps out of the bathroom, jacket back on his shoulders. It’s a pity to let it just lie on the rack like that – Dongho doesn’t really care about it anyways – and he actually looks pretty good in it.

Now that he has a chance to take a look around, Dongho’s apartment is rather plain. There’s no family photos, no pretentious art, not even an absurdly expensive looking light fixture. Everything’s lit up with strategically placed pot lights that give the entire house an aura of natural light.

The crackling sound of oil and smell of spice make his feet shuffle to the kitchen where he’s greeted by the sight of Dongho spooning heaps of rice into a pan with bucket loads of Kimchi –  “Kimchi fried rice?”

“It’s fast, easy and I figured you’d be hungry-“ Dongho explains quickly, not pausing to look at him as he opens a cabinet above him to pull out a box of sesame seeds. “Quick question - you’re not allergic to anything right?”

“I’m allergic to sesame seeds!” Dongho stops mid shake, turning to look at him in shock. Daehwi wants to keep the joke up but it’s also kind of mean considering the man just spent precious time ACTUALLY making him food. “Just kidding!”

“It's confirmed. Lee Daehwi wins 'piece of shit' of the year.” Dongho looks less than impressed stirring the mixture one last time before he turns the stove off and takes it to the table.

Daehwi follows, hands behind his back as he cheekily leans forward towards Dongho’s ears. “It smells good Dongho-ssi, thank you.”

Dongho hands him a large spoon. “Is it cool if we avoid the plates? I hate washing shit. It’s hard enough to keep this place clean and Minhyun’s always on my balls about being messy -”

That probably explains why there's so  little – of everything. Almost like Dongho tries hard to not hold attachment to anything at all.

Still – it’s not his place to try to determine what it is that has Dongho decorating like he has nothing he holds dear to his heart. There's fried rice to be had!

Daehwi’s already pushed a mouthful of rice into his mouth, letting out an almost obscene sound. “Oh my god, this is so good!”

Dongho’s over the moon with his praise. “It’s my mom’s baechu Kimchi honestly, I don’t do shit- just add rice, eggs and – bam! Jeju black pork is the best with it but – that takes much longer to make and I’ve only made it once successfully here because it's hard enough to find real black pork -” Daehwi rolls his own lips into his mouth as he reaches for another spoon. “Why is your face like that?”

How does Daehwi tell Dongho that he has to stop himself from kissing the cook that’s how good Dongho’s mom’s kimchi base is? There’s no appropriate way for Daehwi to say that, even as a joke.

Sure - he can entertain the thought of it in his head - but actually doing it - ha! He'd have to be crazy. “You have family? I couldn't tell - your house is bare as hell, man.”

Dongho laughs and Daehwi feels that twinge in his belly return. He needs to eat slowly, his stomach is already feeling weird. “Ya – Lee Daehwi, are you still drunk? Or just plain stupid? Of course, I have parents.”

 “You look like you came out flying solo – like aint no uterus required for this –“

“You’re so drunk –“ He’s really not. Maybe. He’s not sure. At least, the turn on factor has minimized now that Dongho’s not doing something overly kind. “I’m not solo all the time –“

 “HA. HA. HA.”

“But I’m not joking?”

“I know – I’m laughing at how sad your lies are – you’re alone all the time dude. ALL the time.“ Dongho looks like he wants to throw him out of his house. “Next thing you’ll tell me is you’re dating someone which we both know isn’t true because you’re literally working all the time-” Dongho blinks at him confused, one eyebrow raised. Oh shit, did he get too comfortable? “Not that  it would be weird for you to date someone –  I’m sure the odd soul is interested in you- occasionally – but you’re never – with – anyone – ever – and –“

Dongho decides to save him from himself, holding a hand up to stop him from saying more. “I know what you mean but still -” Dongho reaches towards the pan of rice with his own spoon finally looking away from Daehwi’s face. “YAH – LEE DAEHWI – we were supposed to share! How can you eat half already?!”

“I’m hungry?” Daehwi’s already gone in for another big scoop of rice as Dongho looks at him unbelievably awed by his intern’s shamelessness. “YO – so like – can we talk about something?”

“I feel the need to point out that we are already talking about many things, some I’m sure would be considered inappropriate by HR, but yes, speak? I’m curious to see if you can successfully piss me off more?”

Daehwi ignore his words as he snatches up a particularly spicy scoop of rice and has to literally fan air into his mouth. “Real talk, do you like own one look only? You wear the same shit at work all the time, and now your PJs are exactly the same – like the ones you ran out in, the ones I’m wearing, the ones you’re wearing right now –“

Dongho frowns as he looks between them confused, like he’s never realized that everything in his closet looks exactly the same. “What’s so wrong? It's a classic style?” Black pants and white shirts are not classic style – they are lazy style. “Ah! I get it.” Dongho most probably does not get it but Daehwi keeps his mouth shut. He needs the guy to make him more rice someday. Maybe for lunch. “You don’t want to be matching twinsies?”

“Dude, we look nothing alike. If anything, sitting here like this in your house, we look like we’re wearing couple PJs-” Daehwi chokes on a rather largely swallowed gulp of rice.

Dongho covers his snickering smile behind his hand as he gets up to grab a glass of water for his slowly dying intern. “You know – you’re a bit weird Daehwi.” Daehwi quickly starts gulping the water to dislodge the ball of rice.

“I’m weird? I’m not weird. You’re weird. You’re weirder. You’re weirdest. You're king of the weird jungle.” Dongho’s probably right, he is weird. Who the hell says that to their boss? Drink more water, Daehwi, you do need to sober up.

“You kiss me on the cheek-“ Honestly, Dongho needs to get over that. “You proposition me for sex.” That is so not what he was doing that day – what a startling conclusion from their one conversation about sex. Two, if you counted this one since Dongho’s brought it up twice in one night. “You manhandle me into spending time with you after work.” Okay that - he did do but for purely selfish reasons that have nothing to do with anything personal really -  “And now you think we’re dressing the same to look like a couple?” Dongho raises an eyebrow challenging him silently as Daehwi laughs.

“Daebak Dongho-ssi, could you be any more self-involved? Not everything’s about you.” He points his spoon at him accusingly. Unfortunately, as he swings his spoon a drop of chili oil flies off into his eyes –

And he’s left winking at Dongho. “Dude- even as you’re saying this you’re literally winking at me-“

Honestly this man – HE’S IN LEGITIMATE PAIN RIGHT NOW. “MAN – CAN YOU CHILL? I HAVE CHILI OIL IN MY EYE AND I CAN’T RUB IT -”

“That- is the most stupid cover for being into someone I have ever heard.” He would honestly try to reach over to try to hurt Dongho but his eyes are burning and he’ll likely injure himself. So he refrains and settles for pouting angrily while closing and opening his eyes very quickly. “I’m only joking Daehwi – here eat the last of the rice as an apology.”

Daehwi frowns but pulls the pan closer to him. “You don’t want more?”

“No – I think I’ve had enough.” No way he’s full – Daehwi’s seen Dongho devour two whole Big Macs and tap his belly asking for more. “Dude - your eye is pretty red, you should go wash the oil out.”

“I KNOW! I told you –“

“I meant to ask you this at the club but like – do you make a habit of wearing make-up outside of the office because it’s kind of smudged with how much you’re rubbing your eyes –“

He cringes. “Somi spent a lot of time putting make-up on me and I’m not going to retouch it because I’m lazy- so I don’t really want to go wash it off – it’ll probably stop burning at some point anyways -“

“Dude – just go wash it off.” He grabs the pan from Daehwi’s hands to walk to the sink.

Now that all he has left of the kimchi rice is in his mouth, Daehwi feels sad. “YO- so like I know you’re boring but like – your house though-“

“My house – though?” Dongho turns to look at him from where he’s leaned over the sink.

Daehwi pulls his feet up onto the dining chair. “Yeah – like what do you have to do here? And when are you driving me home? You have a car right?” Bitch boss of his drives Seonho home all the time – he can drive him home ONCE during the storm of the century.

“Uh it’s basically a hurricane outside right now and I can’t drive-“

HE KNEW IT. Dongho did like Seonho better. “Why not?”

“Dude – I drank. A lot. Before I met you back there- at -  Clothing - ?”

Oh, right. Drinking and driving – a very bad idea. It’s the reason he doesn’t really do driving ever – well that and he has no car because he’s a broke college student but also the drinking and driving thing. “It’s ‘Closet’ – but nice try.”

“OH I GET IT! Is it like – you’re IN THE CLOSET? With other guys who like guys? My god, that’s genius- who came up with that?”

Wow.

His boss is a fucking idiot.

Honestly, for someone who apparently drank lots –  Dongho doesn’t look drunk at all. “Are you sure you drank? Like – you seem sober - you’re making loads of smart decisions today -”

“HA. A smart decision would have been to leave you out by the bus stop.” Daehwi’s eyes flatten as he sticks his tongue out at Dongho who is ignoring him for the pan instead. “I don’t get stupid drunk - it’s just never really happened for me. All that happens when I drink is I giggle a bit more, sometimes I’ll say something rude without thinking but- that’s pretty much it.”

“Wow –“

“What?”

He approaches Dongho slowly, reaching for the pan to towel it dry. “Kang Dongho – how can you be this boring even when you’re drunk?”

“I don’t think you could handle the parts of me that are interesting Daehwi –“ Daehwi's forehead is flicked again. “Stop being a pain and go settle down on the couch.  I’ll be there soon. I’m letting all of this go because you drank today.” He nods and walks away. 

He could so take the interesting parts of Dongho - especially if they're anything like his mom's kimchi.

He makes his way to the couch, landing on Dongho's pristine white sectional with a loud crack. This place isn’t so bad. He should offer to house-sit- but then where the hell would Dongho go? He literally has no life.

 “Daehwi, move over,” Daehwi snores loudly, pretending to be asleep until Dongho literally takes his legs and throws them off the couch.

Daehwi stretches upwards pretending to have just woken up from a power nap. “You’re so rude.” When he opens his eyes to glare at Dongho, he’s taken aback.

There’s oranges – in his face – perfectly sliced. “Uh - what is that?”

Dongho has a sheepishly proud expression on his face as he pushes the plate in Daehwi’s hands. “These are sliced oranges.”

“Thanks – I have eyes – I mean, why are they here?” That’s almost as bad of an obvious question as Dongho’s obvious answer.

“I cut them and brought them here? That’s generally how sliced oranges get anywhere? Well, that and by teleportation.” Dongho reaches under his coffee table to pop open a fancy looking drawer that holds a bunch of controllers and remotes together. “Oranges have lots of vitamin C which will make sure you don’t get sick from the rain -”

Daehwi tilts his head at the oranges as Dongho continues to blabber on about the health benefits of vitamin C and how Daehwi should be taking supplements everyday.

What the fuck is this?

It’s been years since he’s seen sliced oranges.

People just don’t put in effort to slice oranges.

He glances down at Dongho's feet as he’s reminded of the way they ran through the rain together. He’s reminded of the way Dongho’s face smiled at him in the club when Jinyoung was glaring at them.

Like so many things about Kang Dongho, these oranges just – don’t – make – sense.

Oranges come in perfectly packaged portions via nature. Why would you slice them?

When he turns to look at Dongho, who is fiddling with his gaming console, Daehwi finds himself frowning.

He’s feeling  _something_  melt inside of him.

It’s undeniable that as stupid as this gesture is – Daehwi is touched.  “Hey – Daehwi – I know I’m hot but like can you stop looking at my face like it’s Kimchi fried rice and tell me what game you want to play please?” He makes an audible disturbed sound as Dongho smiles, stealing an orange off the plate.

They settle on Mario Kart. Dongho tries to give them an easy track but Daehwi forces him to select rainbow road. (What is he? A little bitch? Hard tracks or no tracks, son!)

Thankfully, for the next little while they’re racing in a fair amount of silence to the back-drop of the 90s video game music. And Daehwi would let that safe silence continue - if there was a prayer of him winning.

But there's not, he hasn't played Mario Kart in ages and Dongho obviously has no life so he's pretty good at the game. So Daehwi kind of has to play dirty. “Yo – so like –“

“Yes?” Dongho answers without turning to look at him.

“I’m wearing your jacket –“

“Yeah - what's up with that? Take it off –" Dongho stiffens when Daehwi moves closer to him with a smile hidden inside his lips.

“Think I can keep it?”

“And why – would I let you do that?”

“Don’t you think it looks good on me?” Dongho’s sufficiently distracted as Daehwi uses the opportunity to throw a seashell at his car and speed past him to the finish line. “HA – loser. Made you look.” He flashes a peace sign over his eyes.

On the T.V. screen, Daehwi’s little Toad is dancing around a crying Princess Peach. 

Off screen, Daehwi pretty much mimics the same shit as he waves his hands in Dongho’s face jumping up and down with accompanying body rolls.“Daehwi, what on earth are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He responds snarkily. “I’M doing a victory dance.”

“You look like you’re having a seizure.” Dongho laughs so loudly his entire body shakes and Daehwi comes closer to the man’s seated frame pushing his shoulders back.

“Excuse me?! I dance  perfectly –“ This only makes Dongho laugh harder. “Yo, I was dancing fine in the club convincing that dude that we’re into each other right?”

“That’s different – all you did is hold onto me and move us side to side -“

Please, Dongho is one to talk. “Yeah – show me how you would have made us dance then?"

“Okay fine - you’re right –  I’m a shit dancer too.” Daehwi’s soft giggles blow up into eerily loud laughs. “Why do you find it so amusing that I suck at something?”

“Hey it’s not something – it’s a lot of things.” Daehwi clarifies, smiling harder as he teases the producer in his hands. It’s an automatic reaction right now that’s not making any sense but every time his eyes land on Dongho’s face he feels his heart swell uncontrollably. It probably has something to do with the alcohol. Maybe.  “It makes you less intimidating when you suck. God, I wish I knew how sucky you were at everything when I interviewed –“

Dongho’s jaw drops. “I’m not intimidating!”

“Uh – you are so intimidating.” Dongho looks away in disbelief and Daehwi settles down on the floor in front of him, placing his hands on Dongho’s knees as he pushes his face up to him. “You are.”

“Am not –“ Well, if he’s not going to look at him- Daehwi reaches for Dongho’s shirt with little hesitation – effectively stunning his boss as he’s pulled straight into looking at his face. “Daehwi – what are you – “

“’YA! Lee Daehwi!’” Daehwi hollers loudly. “’DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO SEND ME THE CYMBAL TONE IN A HIGHER PITCH? COME ON MAN- GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER-‘”

“I don’t sound like that –“ Daehwi looks at him pointedly as he sighs and relents. “All the time. Point made.”

Daehwi grins cheekily as he flips over and leans back against Dongho’s legs. “Hey  - what do you want to do next? I’m bored of Mario.”

“Psht - I’d like a re-match-”

“Uh – I don’t play with losers-” Daehwi feels a light kick to his back as he covers his laughs with his hands.

He hasn’t had this much fun since –

Forever.

The realization stiffens his spine.

He’s having fun right now. In a way that hasn’t really felt natural to him since he broke up with Jinyoung. In fact, in the past few hours he hasn’t really thought about Jinyoung all that much.

He’s drunk right? He has to be.

“Ya – Daehwi – stop spacing out.” Oh crap, had Dongho had been talking to him this whole time? “I have karaoke – I mean – we have to work on your tone anyways. You can’t sing for shit-“

He can’t let his emotional turmoil show on his face. “This is coming from a guy who literally almost had tears in his eyes from our last recording session-“

“That’s because your lyrics are heart-wrenching – not because of your voice – oh my god - your voice sounds like nails on a freaking blackboard – so squeaky – so irritating-” Daehwi whips around without warning to pinch-attack Dongho’s calves. The older man yelps loudly in pain grabbing for his legs so he can pull them up to the safety of the couch. “FINE – I may yell a lot BUT Daehwi you’re a bully! I never physically hurt you.”

“EXCUSE ME? LIAR LIAR. PANTS ON FIRE.” Dongho giggles and Daehwi feels himself bite his lips. He's never seen someone whose whole face lights up like that when he says something funny. “Your favourite thing to do is literally flick my forehead-“ He leans back so that his head is in Dongho’s lap to show said forehead off. It also may be because it allows him to press more of himself into Dongho's frame as he curves over the older man's legs to look straight at his face. “Are we going to sing or what?”

“We’ll sing. We’ll sing. Ballad night?"

"Ballad night!" Daehwi agrees happily as Dongho ruffles his hair with a smile glued on his face.

They start with  _My Heart Will Go On,_ Dongho’s shitty choice because he wants to see how high Daehwi can go without sounding like a squealing baby and also because emotions run high and dry out in the Atlantic near icebergs.

Then Dongho takes over and does a surprisingly good impression of Rihanna and Eminem with Love the Way You Lie.

Daehwi compliments him accordingly with a standing ovation before he comes back down to sit beside him on the couch careful to keep enough distance between them this time. He's feeling a little too courageous for his own good and maybe Dongho really is drunk if he's not telling him to back off. “Wow – your pronounciation didn’t make me want to totally throw up in my mouth fam-“

“Big Eminem fan.” He’s not that surprised to be honest. Dongho looks like the type of guy Eminem might get along with.

“Uh – more importantly – I want to see you sing a ballad.” Dongho groans. “WHAT?! You said ballad night! Love the Way You Lie is not ballad night guy - want to duet?" Daehwi starts changing through the songs quickly till he lands on his absolute favourite. "OH PLEASE - can we sing ‘Tips of the Edge’? It's one of my favourites.” 

"That's your favourite - THAT song?" Dongho laughs uncertainly. “Uh – “

Great. Now the guy is judging him. “YO - 'Tips of the Edge' is GREAT. What are you not confident in it? Dude, this is the song that made Pinky a national treasure. She's Chinese. This is production at it's BEST. It literally convinced a nation of Koreans to stan a Chinese girl -”

“No, no – it’s not that. It’s just – it’s been a really long time since I sang that song.” He sighs as Daehwi hands him the mic, relenting to proving himself. “Play it.”

Daehwi’s surprised to find Dongho’s eyes close as he starts singing the song.

He’s never heard anything like Dongho’s voice in this song.

In fact, Kang Dongho’s voice over-takes the female singer’s back-drop. 

There’s no room for Daehwi to even offer any of himself to Dongho when his own voice has filled the song and made it over-flow with feelings that Daehwi had never heard before from the words.

_‘And one day – we’ll turn to look at the book_

_We made together_

_Our memories_

_Crowding out our reality_

_And we’ll say_

_Hello.’_

Dongho turns his eyes downwards, a hand over his neck as he looks at Daehwi. “Satisfactory?”

Daehwi doesn’t say anything until Dongho’s eyes hesitatingly hold his. “What was that?” He’s careful with how he’s asking this because he’s sure he can offend him. “I mean – that was amazing.”

Dongho looks uncomfortable as he rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah - I sing well – I had to when I was signed with Pledis exclusively – “

“You didn’t look at the song on the screen once – you just – sang it – like it was –“

“Mine?” Dongho’s cheeks flush. “It is mine. It’s one of the ones I wrote under my stage name when I was still working under it -  and one of the ones I lost my rights to after a decently long legal battle with my ex-label.” Daehwi’s jaw drops. “I told you I know how to write ballads-“

No – no – Dongho cannot just drop bombs like this and not explain properly.

“It’s your song?” Dongho nods. “You had a stage name?” Dongho nods again. “Uh – what is it?” Dongho only nods again. “Don’t think you can get away with that- tell me your name. I probably know it – dude I can't believe you wrote Tips of the Edge - YOU wrote Tips of the Edge -“ Daehwi starts to reach for his phone until Dongho grabs his hand and stops him.

“Does it matter?”

“This is why you’re so anal about your name and people knowing anything about you?” Dongho nods carefully. “This is why you told me not to give up my rights to other people? Especially popular artists?”

“Yes – but it’s not that clear. Don’t read into it-“

“I’m not reading into it! You worked at Pledis – so you must have worked with Pledis artists – was it one artist? Pinky stole your song!” Daehwi growls as he looks through his phone opening PANN. 

“Mostly one artist – and - just leave Pinky alone. It's not all her fault. I knew what I was getting into. “ Dongho admits hesitantly. “Technically – this is what helped me pay for this apartment when you put it that way – so like –“

“What –“

“We had an arrangement – I – “ Dongho let out a breath. “Please, don’t think about it Daehwi – okay? The industry is not black and white and neither was my advice to you.” Daehwi feels his jaw drop as he turns to look at Dongho shocked. Of all the things he’d expected, he didn’t expect Dongho to be a coward for money. “It’s not what you think –“

“Well apparently, I don’t know anything about you because you don’t even make new urban electronic synth and tempo music.” He flinches at the tone of his own voice, honestly this is no reason for him to be upset – but he is.

Dongho had just sang that song like he wanted the world to take a second look at him, like he was missing something or worse - like he’d been forgotten.

He’s upset that Dongho has hurt himself like an idiot – and weirdly this feeling doesn’t make him feel like an idiot himself.

“Actually I’ve always been more of a ballad guy- but since I started at Mnet and I was working under my own name – I wanted to try something new after working on ballads with one artist for so long –“ Dongho has the audacity to actually smile at him as he says this. “Look – Pledis and I had a deal – way back from the start I was always signed to help grow their artist’s image. At some point, my name started to drop off the tracks because I became part of that artist’s image – and I participated willingly. So I can’t even blame her, can I?” Daehwi feels his chest heave in anger as he shakes his head.

That doesn’t make any sense – a universe where Kang Dongho willingly gave up his music to some random singer because of some arrangement? “So what the hell are you doing now?”

“No – the arrangement is off.” He lets out a deep breath as Daehwi looks at him accusingly. “We stopped our arrangement when I enlisted –  the artist still had to release things and I was in the marines, not allowed to work legally. When I came out of the army, I was jobless and Jaehwan made me interview with the team and I got in.” That story sounded like an over-simplified version of what must have really happened.

But the more he asks, the more personal this conversation gets. “So - this house?”

“All my money with Pledis. When I got out –  I decided I didn’t want to save for anything anymore. I didn’t really have anything to save for anyways – I mean I’d made sure my family was already well settled in Jeju – so I thought I’d splurge on myself.” Dongho rubs the back of his neck and Daehwi feels his throat tighten when he sees Dongho’s eyes come closer to his. “You’re disappointed in me, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m angry at you.” Dongho looks taken aback but doesn’t move away. “Why would you hurt yourself like that? I know how possessive you are of your music –“

“I’m possessive now because of the mistakes I’ve made in the past Daehwi.” How can his voice sound like that? How can he sound like he’s given up? “I’m telling you all of this so that you don’t make the same mistakes that I did. I was trying to make a name for myself and I got lost in her  name and I've moved on. I'll start over. I'll make it big in another way.” Dongho shrugs, the warm brown of his eyes melting into a strange acceptance that causes a twinge of pain in Daehwi’s heart. “Sometimes you do things for stupid reasons- even if they don’t always make sense later.” Dongho groans when he looks at him again. “What Daehwi?”

He can’t tell him that he’s stuck staring at Dongho’s eyes because from this angle they look like they’ve seen too much in their time and all Daehwi wants to do is yell at him till he can fix it. “Your eyes are sad. They’ve been sad since this morning.”

“Just since this morning? They’ve been that way for some time.” The silence is deafening as they sit beside each other quietly.

Daehwi hears Dongho groan and open his mouth. “I’m sorry – I didn’t need to tell you any of that.” Daehwi reaches for Dongho’s eyes to physically pry them open. “What are you doing?”

Daehwi grins to himself as he feels Dongho’s eye muscles squint at him. In this position, Dongho’s cute- he’s irritated, squinty and adorable. “Just because your eyes have been so unhappy for so long doesn’t mean we’re going to keep them that way. Let me make you happy again.”

“Ya Lee Daehwi – I know we’re already in some sort of weird situation since earlier tonight - but please don’t use this as an excuse to poke your finger in my eye-“ It’s kind of nice to hear Dongho acknowledge that he doesn’t really understand what’s happening right now either.

“Just stay still.” He leaps away from Dongho to run straight to the bathroom.

“YA – Daehwi-ah!” He rifles through his pants quicker hearing the confusion in Dongho’s voice. “Okay then! I’m going to bed now!” He calls out threateningly as Daehwi ignores him, finding the pencil liner he’s looking for.  When he turns around, he grins brightly seeing his victim standing before him – leaning against the frame of the bathroom door. “What is that?”

“Somi’s eyeliner.” This is probably not what Somi had in mind when she’d told him to hold onto her expensive eyeliner for the night.

Dongho blinks as he looks between Daehwi’s eyes and the eyeliner. “Okay – what is that for?”

“For you-“

Dongho starts laughing quickly walking backwards towards his bedroom. “Thanks but - like no thanks? Good night!”

“Why? I swear you’ll look so much HAPPIER – and it’s funny - Yah – just wait!” Before he knows it Daehwi’s tumbled into Dongho’s laughing frame as the older man is trying to push him away –  “Oh come on – just trust me a little – I’m no Somi but I can do a good job I swear!”

“I don’t trust you enough? I literally spilled my deepest darkest secret to you out there-“

“That’s different – this is something I’m asking you to do-“ Daehwi stops speaking to crack up in laughs when Dongho trips over a stray pillow on the floor and ends up falling flat on his bed. 

It's this second of weakness that has Daehwi launch a full force attack on Dongho's face, giggles spilling all over between them as Dongho tries in vain to wrestle out from under him. 

In seconds, Dongho’s face is covered in a myriad of designs on his eyes that can only be best described as misshapen waves. Affectionately, Daehwi pencils in a heart on the corner of Dongho’s left eye.

“Happy now?” Dongho growls from under him, eyes still tightly shut.

“Yup - you're all happy and pretty now.” Daehwi snickers as he runs his fingers down Dongho’s face feeling the man twitch under him. “Maybe we do just a bit more –“

Daehwi lets his liner wander to Dongho’s upper lip as he starts creating a curvy moustache. “WHAT THE- DAEHWI!”

“The opportunity was right there – how was I supposed to ignore that?!” Dongho opens his eyes to grab Daehwi's hands and pull them off his face. Daehwi stops breathing.

Oh - 

Shit.

The opportunity is right there.

How is he supposed to ignore that?

Dongho apparently can. “You – need to learn to be more respectful.” Dongho pulls him off his body and lifts him to the side. Daehwi’s left sitting dumbstruck by himself. Dongho sits up and moves to a corner of the bed as he turns his phone camera on to inspect Daehwi's work. "You sure you're not an art major?" Daehwi snorts when he turns to glare at him. " God Daehwi – I look like a drunk frat boy- why is there a heart on my eye?“

“So everyone knows that you're a pretty drunk frat boy?” Daehwi teases him leaning against his headboard.

Dongho doesn’t look impressed. “Let’s just say good night now and go to sleep – any more time with you and I’ll be wearing lipstick or something else equally ridiculous-”

How can he let this night end? The idea of that is unthinkable. Daehwi wants to be a little more imposing, a little more annoying – he wants to be unavoidable.

His heart is lurching out of his chest, his toes are curling inwards and all he wants is to feel something again but more importantly he wants to feel the way Dongho’s making him feel – but better, stronger, faster.

As he watches Dongho marvel his handiwork, he thinks he knows how to get there. “Kang Dongho?” His voice is soft, cushioned, inviting - 

Dongho is ignoring all of that as he turns to look at him agitated. "What now?" Man, this guy is good at ruining any mood Daehwi tries to create.

So he'll be a bit more straight up. “Can you come closer?” The puzzling request has Dongho twist his frame around to look at him and Daehwi gulps back the knot in his throat.

He can, MAYBE, do this. “Why?”

Daehwi examines the gap between them. It’s too far still.

“Just – I need you to come closer. To me.” He needs to see how much of the gap between them Dongho would be willing to close. "Uh - a bit closer than that."

At the very least, this will help him determine how much of a comfort level the older man actually has with him.

"Closer? Than this?" Dongho hesitates now as he looks between them again and Daehwi lets out a sigh of relief. This is too far, this is too far a gap for him to bridge.

There’s at least a whole other body between them and if this is as close as Dongho’s willing to get to him –

Daehwi feels his eyes bulge when their knees touch. He looks down, his mouth slackened. When he glances up, Dongho’s looking at him with an unamused expression – “Okay. Now, what?”

Daehwi doesn’t say a word as he looks at Dongho.

Stupid Dongho.

Kind Dongho.

Utterly perfect Dongho. Utterly oblivious Dongho. “What? Daehwi we should just go -“

He never gets to say more.

Daehwi’s already taken the leap to close the gap between them.

They’re kissing.

Instantly, it’s weird.

The first thing that hits his senses is that Dongho’s lips taste like a mix of rain, kimchi and oranges. It’s a taste that’s unfamiliar but mimicked in his own mouth. It doesn’t feel unattractive on Daehwi’s tongue.

In fact, it’s one he can roll over, drown himself in and wake up to happily.

From a position standpoint – things are much worse. Daehwi’s practically crawled over Dongho to close their tiny gap, hands over his boss’s cheeks, body leaned into Dongho’s increasingly backwards positioned frame like the older man is trying to run away. Unsuccessfully.

Still, Dongho’s not backing off and screaming bloody murder immediately and armed with that realization, Daehwi is able to pull on Dongho’s lips, almost begging them to return his short, hasty movements.

He doesn’t.

Daehwi can’t even blame him – Dongho has no reason to. Daehwi knew this was all in his own head –

But that’s not going to stop him because Dongho’s right here. Sure he's shocked but he's not angry - he's not disgusted - he's not even disinterested. Daehwi can tell by the way Dongho's breaths go shallower, shorter when Daehwi's hands run over his jaw, down his arms, up his chest, through his shirt all the while tweaking, teasing, licking, pleasing.

When Dongho's mouth finally tilts open Daehwi immediately takes advantage of the silent permission to delve deeper, taste more, communicate all he can about his stupid need to do this –

Daehwi opens his eyes to check.

Dongho’s eyes are closed but his hands are still at his sides – and at least for now Daehwi's not going to get punched or pushed off into mayday heaven.

So Daehwi closes his eyes again. He’s going to check one more way – just to make sure he’s not being completely ludicrous –

He lowers the intensity of his ministrations and leans back towards the headboard, to see if Dongho will let his lips go –

He doesn’t.

He follows until their roles are equalized and Daehwi’s able to feel Dongho’s tongue hesitantly run across the inside of his lips. Dongho's first reciprocating action has Daehwi melting into the bed moaning Dongho's name into his own mouth in a way that makes the older man bite down on his lips harder. 

Daehwi can sense his weakness, his sadness, his resistance – Dongho doesn’t think this is a good idea.

Daehwi can’t disagree but he also can’t imagine stopping so when he feels Dongho pull back to take a breath – “I-“

Daehwi takes a deep breath as he shakes his head and holds Dongho fixed in his hands. “Please, just shut up.” He’s suffocating on whatever stupid thing Dongho thought could ever be more important than them seeing this through.  

Dongho stares at him dumbly before nodding the slightest.

Now that he has permission, he's prompted to be more exploratory. There's so much of Dongho in front of him - and he lunges forward, pulling himself into Dongho's lap, legs snaking over Dongho’s hips as he yanks Dongho’s head roughly to his. 

He knows if he lets Dongho stop this now – then they won’t do it again.

This is by far the stupidest decision Lee Daehwi has ever made in his life – Daehwi’s not even –

Okay, maybe he can’t lie about that anymore – he’s a little into Dongho. He likes hearing the way Dongho whimpers when he's a little rough with him, yielding to his fingers, twisting his hands into Daehwi's hair. He likes that he can boss him around here and Dongho just listens.

There’s something innately right about this – despite how wrong it should be.

Maybe it’s because he’s been alone for so long after Jinyoung? That’s an easy excuse. It’s one he’s okay to sign up for. It gives him the right to enjoy kissing his boss inappropriately and ignore the ridiculous future he’s just inflicted on their already confusing relationship.

His head is swimming now from a lack of oxygen and he feels himself lose his balance.

Dongho’s hands come over his shoulders to steady him and desperately Daehwi tries to continue their kiss but Dongho backs off – “Daehwi – please just - what the-“

“Dongho?” He heaves out his name. “I thought I told you to shut up.” He sees Dongho’s face flitter with something akin to want and hesitation again. Considering the fact that they’ve just exchanged personal body parts instead of personal information he’s hoping Kang Dongho won’t mind so much that he’s being a little more rude than normal. “Now are we going to kiss again or what?” He tightens his legs over Dongho's waist, mildly satisfied to hear and feel Dongho let out a frustrated sigh against his chest.

“You’re mental.”

“You’re beautiful. Even with that shit on your face.” Dongho squawks and makes a move to back away from him. “I can tell you want this so don’t stop – I’m telling you not to stop. Please.” Daehwi pulls his head to the side of Dongho’s face, pressing his lips softly to his jaw line, running down his flushed neck. “Let’s just-“

Dongho makes a move to back away again as Daehwi bites into the flesh. He hears him groan and almost like a punishment, Dongho has pushed him down on the bed so he’s flat on the covers.

Good.

“Go to bed before you do something else stupid.”

Daehwi laughs as he plays with the edge of Dongho's shirt. “That wasn’t stupid – that was great. You’re stupid for stopping it.” Dongho groans. Daehwi looks between them as he lifts his legs carefully over Dongho’s.

Despite his words, Daehwi feels Dongho’s frame lean down towards him, arms trapping Daehwi's sides as their legs intertwine. “You are going to stop. We are not doing this. This is stupid. This is very very stupid – you are sad and angry about your ex and I get it. Hell, I really get it - everyone has some sketchy ex issues but I need you to stop trying to use me as a bandaid.”

“And – you don’t want to do this?” Daehwi uses Dongho's arms as a ladder to bridge his face to his. He watches Dongho glance down at his lips - weakening just the slightest when Daehwi licks them. "Really? You didn't have a little bit of fun right now -"

“It’s not about what I want. We’re not just going to do this and then walk away – that’s not how you and me work right now – so yeah I guess I don’t want that for us.” It’s like a bucket of water has fallen on him. “I like you – you’re fun Daehwi. You're talented, you're a good kid - "

"Ah -" Daehwi laughs to himself as Dongho looks at him confused. "This sucks but it's kind of nice anyways?"

"What?" Dongho hisses.

"You know - you're doing that speech! The one where you reject someone and then list all the great things about them?" Daehwi giggles into his hand. He should be hurt. He really should - but the idea that Kang Dongho has nice things to say about him still makes his heart swell happily. "Please, continue."

"Are you making fun of me? I'm serious -"

"I know you are - you just never say anything nice about me and it took me kissing you to get you to say nice things about  me - I mean that is why you hired me -"

"DAEHWI! THAT IS NOT WHY I HIRED YOU. I hired you because you're smart. You have potential - and shit I'm doing exactly what you said I'm doing - fuck I swear - " Dongho groans as he moves off him and shakes his head like he's trying to clear his thoughts. "Look, I'm not rejecting you, I really like you. You're a good kid - but I'm not stupid. This - thing - you're trying? Whatever you’re trying – please don’t. I'm not going to fix your life - I'm only going to make things worse. I make everyone's life worse.” Daehwi looks up at him huffing. “Trust me. In the morning, when I pretend none of this happened and hopefully you don’t actually remember any of this – it will be a lot LOT better this way.”

“Why do you get to decide what’s better?” Daehwi’s question has stumped him as Dongho shrugs and shakes his head.

“I guess because I’m supposed to take care of you – not take advantage of you but I already fucked that up too.” Dongho growls and lifts himself off the bed.  “Now – please – go to bed.”

Sleep?

With the sound of his voice soaking into Daehwi's skin still echoing in his ears? With the taste of those stupid oranges etched into his mouth? With the way Dongho looks at him -

The door bangs shut and Daehwi lets out a breath as he stares up at the ceiling.

Well then –

Fuck.

How is he supposed to go to sleep now?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also - overall I'd like to thank everyone who gave lots of love in the last chapter :D hopefully the wait is worth it :) (and hopefully none of you are traumatized scrubbing your eyes out but like - Lilli - likes writing kissing scenes okay T.T)


	7. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning - Daehwi spazzes and says stuff in his mind that is not meant to be taken seriously (it's just him having a morning after breakdown).

When Daehwi bolts awake in bed, it’s mostly because his phone is ringing in his ears. He lunges to answer it just so he can shut it the fuck up.

“Yeobo-wae-yo-“ Honestly why Somi? Why would you call so fucking early in the morning on a Saturday?

“Yeah yeah yeobo-wae-yo to you too loser – I’m on my way to your place with Samuel! I need my eyeliner today dude-“

“Yeah sure – come by,” Daehwi yawns as he stretches and opens his eyes. Almost immediately, he flips back to lie down in the bed he’s in.

It feels - different. It is both surprisingly comfortable and apparently NOT covered in a mess of clothing?

Wait-

He distinctly remembers leaving his bed a complete mess before he went out with Samuel and Somi.

Wait –

If he’s not home –

His eyes scream to take in his surroundings as his heart pounds in his chest.

The room around him is pristinely white, the bed he’s in is pristinely white, there is a walk-in closet not too far from him which is a mix of black and pristinely white –

Where the-

_‘Just – I need you closer. To me.’_

The words echo softly in his ears, luring him into the memory – of – 

No.

There’s no way. He must be hallucinating.

 ‘ _You’re beautiful’_

Apparently, his brain has selfishly determined the mere verbal memory is not torture enough for Daehwi.

No - now he's starting to feel prickles on his lips. The sensation of which can only be likened to a five o'clock shadow rubbing itself on his skin, raw, gritty - and he wants to scream.

There’s no way – there’s just no way –

What the hell did he drink last night?!

How could he say that – did he say that?!

He didn’t really do that – did he?

_‘Dongho? I thought I told you to shut up-’_

IS HE STUPID?

HOW CAN HE SAY THAT TO THE PERSON WHO SAVED HIS LIFE? TWICE? IN ONE NIGHT?

HOW CAN HE SAY THAT TO THE PERSON THAT HAS FULL POWER TO NOT PAY HIS BILLS ON TIME?

HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW?

How the hell did he ever think making the choice to –

And now he can’t breathe.

Daehwi’s literally breathing heavily on the phone, probably DYING in Kang Dongho’s bed.

AND of course, Somi, the selfish eyeliner hungry bitch that she is, completely cannot tell that he is having what he can only assume is a panic attack. “Yo – do you want anything from McDonalds? Sammy just said he’s pretty hungry and I know you love hash browns-“

“I’M PRETTY HUNGRY.” Samuel yells loudly as if the mention of his name is an invite into the conversation. Daehwi can practically hear Somi roll her eyes. “HI DAEHWI. GOOD MORNING. DID WE WAKE YOU UP?”

Daehwi squints at his phone in confusion. Dear god, his best friend is literally a grandpa who  yells into speakerphones because he thinks other people can’t hear him.

 “Yeah – so like I’m thinking of getting hash browns only for all of us because Sammy’s on a diet too you know –“

Okay, if he lets them keep talking then his idiot friends would keep going on forever about hash browns. “Somi – SOMI!” He cuts quickly thankful to hear the other end of the line quiet immediately. “Don’t come.” He sinks back into the sheets.

This bed is really comfortable and he’s not quite ready to face the world yet –

_‘Don’t stop  - I’m telling you not to stop. Please.’_

WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH HIM?

He groans softly into his mouth doing his best to muffle the sound.  “Yo – what -  NO MAN! I need my eyeliner. I have a theater makeup test coming up and I’m swamped later. I wanted to practice with it tomorrow –“

He can’t deal with this right now.

Daehwi rubs his eyes weakly, feeling a headache start to set in at the base of his skull. He’s unsure if he should be blaming the headache on his decision to consume alcohol or his decision to try to LITERALLY fuck his boss.

Unsuccessfully.

Desperately.

Foolishly.

Honestly, he’s not even sure which of those words is the one that makes it worse. Is it the fact that he tried or is it the fact that he 'feels' what last night felt like on the tip of his tongue? “Sorry – I’m out – can you get it later?”

Somi clucks in her mouth. “Yah - where are you? We’re driving – we’ll come to you-“

“Should Samuel even be driving? I know you guys probably didn’t sleep at all – and Samuel didn’t drink much but still – “ Not that it would matter. If this was any other night spent with his high school best friends, he’d probably have been in the car with them and they’d probably still be day drinking at brunch consuming unhealthy portions of pancakes and syrup because **_America_**. Brunch is the most American thing he can do here in Seoul. He’s never bothered to figure out how he manages to vote in a foreign country. “Don’t bother. Go home. I’m somewhere -“

“Daebaeeeee I need the liner yo, I’m not joking around.” Somi sounds really desperate and Daehwi feels guilty but he also can’t tell her where the fuck he is. He really can’t have her show up here. “Just tell me where you are – I’ll be fast I swear? In and out so quick that you won’t even realize I was there! Like the burger joint!”

“OR – LIKE A PARTICULARLY BAD LAY-“

Dear god, did Samuel have to yell that? “It doesn’t really matter it’s too far Somi –“

“Nowhere is too far for Samuel’s over-priced BMW that he can’t really afford-“

“HEY!” Samuel calls out pitifully. “I CAN AFFORD THIS CAR IN 5 YEARS IF I PAY MY MONTHLY PAYMENTS AND THEN DELIVER $19K IN COLD HARD CASH – LEASE TO OWN BABY LEASE TO OWN. IT’S THE BEST STRATEGY TO PURCHASING A CAR-“

“Yeah like – I know you’re saying words but like – I don’t even understand?” Somi giggles as Samuel scoffs over the phone. “Whatever- just drive me around for the rest of your life, okay?”

Daehwi turns the phone screen away from his ear and glares at it.

Does he have to listen to their repressed flirting over the phone this early in the morning WHEN HIS LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES? “Jeon Somi, Kim Samuel, BMW-ssi, please fuck the fuckity fuck off - I don’t really want you to come-“

“It's because you’re in Kang Dongho’s bedroom right now, right?”

Somi's response to him comes so quick that it catches his mouth off guard. “Yes-“ His eyes widen as he drops his jaw. THIS CONNIVING BITCH. “Shit –“ THIS STUPID MOUTH OF HIS. “What? No –“ She’s smiling. Daehwi knows she’s smiling. He hates his life. He hates his friends. They are mean. MEAN. PEOPLE. “NO - SOMI - I’m not. What? I’m – no! No! I SWEAR.”

It’s really too early in the morning for him to play Somi’s mind games.

“GOOD FOR YOU MY D!” How does Daehwi lower the volume on this stupid phone before Samuel says something else inappropriate? “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU – GETTING BACK ON THE HORSE- THAT’S THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER JINWOON MAN - AND DONGHO HAS NICE HAIR TOO -"

Why is Samuel yelling? Why? Why would he talk about Dongho's hair and remind Daehwi of what his hair felt like? Why was Samuel the worst? Why is Daehwi even friends with these people other than the fact that they are literally the people he has known the longest in his life and they are also kind of the coolest -

“Samuel, why are you yelling? God be quiet – the people in Hawaii can freaking hear you." Bless Somi for saving his eardrums. “Look Daehwi, I’m not going to bug you more but I am happy for you if you’re actually staying over there this morning for what I think-“

He ducks down under the sheets, hiding his embarrassment even if no one can see him.

Sure, Dongho isn’t here right now but even in his absence, Daehwi feels him through the flashes of last night that enter his consciousness.

Dongho surrounds him, drowns him and then -

Dongho breathes life into him. 

God. What the hell did he get himself into last night? “Somi – I swear it’s not like that –“

“Great. Then whatever it is ‘like’ just tell me later – I’ll even go BUY new eyeliner for you, idiot. I’m so broke so you’re paying me back for the one you’ve kept hostage.” Somi’s voice reeks of understanding and happiness. It makes Daehwi want to throw up. That or the fact that he actually wants to throw up is making things a lot worse. “I love you Daebae. Go get some more of – well – whatever you want to get some more of. ”

He sighs into the phone, shaking his head to no one but himself. “Sleep. That's all I want more of right now. I love you SomSomi.”

“I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO. WHY DON’T I HAVE A NICKNAME? CAN I HAVE A NICKNAME?”

Thankfully, the phone clicks off before Samuel’s unnecessarily loud voice can say more stupid things.

He’s half expecting Kang Dongho to barge in through the door but thankfully the bedroom entryway remains closed.

Daehwi stares at his phone. 7:30AM.

Fucking Bae Jinyoung. Messing Daehwi’s fucking life up like he does every single day.

If Jinyoung had just kept off Closet, which is really Daehwi’s turf anyways-

And if Jinyoung had been nice to him yesterday then Dongho, Samuel and Somi wouldn’t have had to come in and save him to make him look cool and Daehwi wouldn’t be here –

In this sick fuckery of a situation.

Masochistically, the itch inside him grows as he thinks of his ex-boyfriend, Jihoon’s red hair and the way their frames were leaned into each other last night.

On reflex, his fingers operate his phone expertly until Daehwi can scroll through last night's snap stories to try to find Jinyoung's name - 

It's not there. He didn't post last night. 

Huh –

On reflex, he runs to Jihoon’s name next which – except for a beautiful rendition of Mamma Mia by drag queen Se-Honey-Ssi (otherwise known as Oh Sehun) –  is completely empty too.

Daehwi buries his face into the pillow tossing his phone to the side.

Well - that helps in distracting him. Except not really.

Shit, shit, shit - what the hell is he going to do?

Last night. He. Had. Kissed. Kang. Dongho. 

And ha - not just on the cheek this time either. No - Lee Daehwi, overachiever that he is, made sure that when he kissed Dongho last night there wasn't even room for Dongho to object since Daehwi had pretty much done his absolute best to suffocate the man with his tongue.

If there were grades on kissing technique, Daehwi is absolutely sure he'd get an A. He's a fabulous kisser.

If there were grades on fucking up your life, Daehwi is absolutely sure he'd get an A. He's fabulous at ruining his life.

In all honesty, despite the fact it wasn't the smartest thing to do - Daehwi can't help but feel like it hadn't felt that bad? Kissing Dongho was the opposite of bad. 

His cheeks warm and he feels his stomach twist uncomfortably.

Okay, so maybe kissing Dongho is actually the opposite of _‘I would never do that again in a million years'._

To be fair - he's gone too long without kissing someone. That's probably it. Daehwi’s missed being able to be with someone and Dongho has - 

Opened the door.

Shit.

Daehwi’s eyes immediately shut.

He takes a deep breath to steady his heart when he feels the bed sink under Dongho’s weight. “Daehwi-“ Dongho’s voice is soft as it leans towards his ears and it takes all of Daehwi’s effort to not shriek and jolt awake in fear. “Daehwi- please wake up.”

Fuck, no. 

It’s 7:35AM at best. Daehwi needs a few more hours at least to silently stew in the bed, figure out his escape plan and then – THEN – maybe he’ll succumb to his execution at the hands of the older man because there’s no way out from this.

He hears Dongho sigh as he lifts himself from the bed. The door shuts again.

Well then –

Fuck –

How is he supposed to wake up now?

 

 

 

It’s 12:00PM and he thinks he knows the answer.

He is never supposed to wake up.

But there's a problem - his phone battery life is at 25%.

If he keeps staying in bed like this, his phone is probably going to die. Like his career did. Last night.

There’s a charging cable that’s not too far actually, but if Daehwi charges his phone -

Then Dongho sees that there’s a phone charging there.

If Dongho sees the phone charging -

Then he’ll know that Daehwi woke up and –

If he knew Daehwi woke up – ~~~~

Fuck.

Dongho hasn’t come into the room since 7:30AM and it's almost five hours later.

Daehwi, in light of the above, can deduce that Dongho is also in no hurry to hang out with him. So all he REALLY has to do is just wait for Kang Dongho to give up and leave the house (which he’ll never really do because Dongho has no life and has no friends and has nowhere to go).

Still - things don't look so bad. Once Dongho leaves – Daehwi can leave too.

Easy. PEASY.

Except not really. He’s going to grow old and pass away in this bed. 

That’s okay too – there’s less comfortable ways to go.

“DAEHWI!” Daehwi almost breaks. He screams at the surprise attack but Daehwi has somehow managed to throw his phone under the pillow and shoved his face in there too. His scream just ends up sounding like a muffled yawn. “Lee Daehwi – get the fuck up. It’s 12PM.”

Oh. Someone’s pissed now – well HA. In Dongho’s dreams. This is his death bed. Literally. This is where, last night, Daehwi kissed his career goodbye when he chose to kiss the man who could literally make or break said career.

Daehwi almost groans when, with a particularly violent push, the crown of his head touches the headboard. “Daehwi – “

_‘Dongho –‘_

From inside him, he feels an automatic sigh build and immediately suppresses it. What the fuck was up with him? He can’t honestly be feeling this way. It’s just a fucking kiss Lee Daehwi, grow up! “Please wake up - I really don’t care about what happened last night –“

YEAH. SURE DONGHO.

No one believes you, liar.

He curls his lips into his mouth – the words hanging on the edge of his tongue.

He can’t respond to Dongho because he’s not interested in pretending but he's also REALLY not interested in talking about last night, a repeat of last night's lecture, or inevitably staring at Dongho’s face and trying not to imagine the way it felt under his hands.

He feels that stupid stir in his lower belly and punches it.

Okay, this time – he’s doing a horrible job of pretending he’s asleep.

Thank god, he’s sleeping on his front. “You’re really going to be like this?” Yes. Is that not obvious? He’s literally spent almost five hours avoiding him? “Just move in then.”

Oh that was a good one! Daehwi almost broke there – mostly because the sheer imagery of them living together is enough to make him want to pull his hair out in frustration.

If Daehwi wasn’t so freaking scared at the prospect of what sleeping in his boss’s bed last night meant then he would have given him a high five.

But he is scared. He is really freaking scared.

 

 

It’s 2:45PM.

After coming in earlier, Dongho left the door open so there was no way for Daehwi to know when he’d come in next.

This meant Daehwi could no longer while away his hours on his phone anymore.

On the plus side, his phone is still alive since he can’t really check it too often.

On the minus side, Daehwi has had to literally pretend to be asleep this whole time, which he most decidedly is not. He hasn’t taken a single acting course at school for a reason. He’s shit at acting.

If he thinks about it – this strategy is quite smart, like super villain smart. Dongho’s literally FORCING him out of bed because at some point – Daehwi’s gotta get out.

But Daehwi’s smarter.

Well, okay – not smarter but just more stubborn.

He’s just not going to get out – he hasn’t really planned beyond that.

He sighs as he leans back into the headboard, banging his head like he’s trying to punish himself.

How could he do something so stupid?

How could he try to have sex with Dongho?

Actually he knew exactly how he could try. Daehwi feels himself flush as he pushes his palms into his eyes forcing his mind to wander back to safe territory.

Unfortunately – his brain turns him down a more twisted path. Daehwi knows he’d probably have done a pretty good job of it given that Dongho had felt pliant in his hands last night, vocal in his mouth and even in that situation -

NO. STOP DAEHWI. DON’T GO THERE. THIS IS THE WHOLE REASON YOU GOT INTO THIS MESS.

Despite his best efforts to yell at himself, Daehwi feels the sensation of Dongho’s body latched onto his return like a ghost on his frame.

His nose twitches.

Was that -

Kimchi fried rice.

Oh, Dongho’s good. He really knows what he’s doing, but Daehwi’s not going to fall for it.

He’s stronger than that when he’s sober – like come on -

Daehwi's stomach growls as the smell wafts closer to the room and he moans into the pillow.

He's been in bed all day so he’s actually starving and Dongho is a son of a bitch who knows him too well now.

He hears heavy footsteps shuffle into the room and pushes his face further into the pillow. He can do this. He just has to keep his mouth shut. “Daehwi, I made Kimchi rice –“

“Good for you.”  

FUCK. HOW DID HE ALREADY FAIL?

He hears a small laugh from Dongho and resolves to keep his lips glued shut for the rest of the time.

“Daehwi – get up –“ When he stays quiet, Daehwi feels Dongho let out a breath of air like he’s doing his best to huff and puff and blow Daehwi’s hypothetical house to pieces. Like he hasn’t done that already just by breathing the same air as him. “Come on - what do you think is going to happen? What are you so afraid of?”

The world as he knew it could end, for one?

Sure, he's the one that made that choice for the two of them last night and now here he is essentially squatting on Dongho’s property because he is unable to deal with the consequences of his actions.

What if Dongho had shut up last night like Daehwi had asked him to?

What if Dongho had let himself falter like Daehwi had asked him to?

Would things have been different this morning?

Would Daehwi have woken up to the sun over Dongho’s face?

Would he have woken up to kisses, hugs and arms around his waist like all his Saturdays with Jinyoung?

Would they have started something that Daehwi can’t even begin to fathom now?  

Would that have been the right decision for him right now?

Or would he have reacted this way-?

Like a child?

Would that have hurt Dongho?

Was he hurting him right now?

In every universe Daehwi considers, Dongho’s decision last night has proven itself right.

In fact, last night the older man let them go just beyond the point of no return before he pulled them back. “I don’t know what I’m afraid of.” It’s the easiest answer. He can’t necessarily share all of his thoughts with Dongho.

“Well, lucky us then – I know what’s going to happen when you wake up.” Daehwi feels Dongho scoot closer to him. When he feels Dongho’s fingers run through his hair that stupid feeling in his gut comes back.

Like this is the push he needs, Daehwi finally gets out of bed to pull Dongho’s hands off him. “WHAT?” 

The less Dongho touched him, the better. For his own sanity.

Regardless of the fact Daehwi has just yelled at him, Dongho’s smiling brightly. “Duh. You’re going to eat.” Daehwi’s irrational anger at the older man is quelled when he looks at the plate and back at Dongho’s urging face. “Come on – you were obsessed with Kimchi Fried Rice last night and I know you’re hungry –“

“Yeah – well, I liked a lot of things last night that weren’t that great.” Dongho’s eyes widen. Daehwi bites his lips as he cowers his head into his hands. What the hell is he doing? “I mean, thanks.” Daehwi takes the plate hastily from Dongho’s hands. At least Dongho’s not being overly sensitive – he’s still laughing. “Are you going to eat?”

“Nah – I actually ate before. This whole batch is for you.” Daehwi feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand as an uncomfortable sensation settles over them. Why does Dongho keep doing this? “There’s more in the pan in the kitchen but I have this brat in my bed and the only way to get him out is breakfast in bed apparently so I had to use a plate for him –“

His stomach flops and Daehwi groans, pushing the plate back to Dongho’s hands. “I can’t eat –“

“You want to talk first?” He doesn’t answer him but Dongho seems to innately sense that’s what’s Daehwi needs to feel at rest in this situation. “Look – just because you kissed me doesn’t mean the world has to end right? You know, Daehwi?”

He feels himself furrow his eyebrows. What is this guy talking about? “Know what?”

“In Spain – sometimes people kiss each other in greeting! Guys, girls, combinations of both! It's really no big deal!”

Daehwi chokes.

This is Dongho’s argument? “I don’t think people in Spain use tongue –“

Dongho flushes as he clears his throat and tries to put on airs of being a boss, unsuccessfully. Good – this is a Dongho that Daehwi can stomach for now. “Daehwi – have you been to Spain?”

“No –  have you?”

“No. So, how would we know? Maybe in some regions – if there’s no tongue that might be rude. Maybe you’re just a really polite Spanish guy.” Dongho laughs as Daehwi stares at him dumbly.

What the fuck? “Was that a joke?”

Dongho rubs the back of his head nodding with a scrunched up nose. “Ahh – too weird? Sorry, I was trying to get your mind off last night. Couldn’t think of any way to make this less weird.”

Daehwi lets out a small smile despite himself. At least, they’re on the same page and that's better than nothing. “Yes. Weird. I’m 100% Korean and I 100% meant what I did last night in the most impolite way possible -”

Dongho makes an audibly disturbed sound as he tries to cover his voice up and Daehwi’s lips curl into themselves. Now he's not sure whose more traumatized - Dongho can't even handle having this conversation. “Yah – why didn’t you just forget everything –“

“I didn’t drink that much!” 

"GREAT! We can fix that! I have alcohol at home –“ Dongho claps like an excited little child. 

“Uh - that's not how blacking out works - you can't really do it the morning after.” Dongho bursts out laughing at Daehwi’s annoyed face. “Yah, Kang Dongho – I honestly don’t understand your sense of humor.” Daehwi uses the side of his body to push Dongho so roughly that the much heavier man falls over like an idiot on his side on his bed.

Daehwi flares his nostrils jokingly. Dongho laughs harder.

Daehwi feels his mouth slack open as he tilts his head. Dongho's eyes are shut, frame shaking in laughs that resound from deep in his chest and he feels his eyes squint at the older man. 

How could a person be so irritating and so oddly innocent at the same time? “Ah – let’s try something else – “ Dongho manages to spit out weakly through his laughs as he sits back up beside Daehwi’s fuming face. “Look, I don’t think of you any differently now than I did yesterday or than I did last week or than I did at that bloody stupid interview –“

Really? Really? Daehwi’s calling bullshit on that one. “What do you think of me then?”

Dongho coughs, pausing to think about his response. “I told you – I like you. You’re a good person and maybe if things were different I’d try to – I don’t know – be more open to what almost happened? But that’s not who we are Daehwi- so let’s be mature about this, okay? I’m your boss. You’re my bitchy intern. I like this dynamic. I KNOW you like this dynamic. So - let's not hurt a good thing?" Dongho holds his hand out to him like they're signing a contract in a business movie.

"Fine." Daehwi gingerly places his palm in Dongho's larger one barely aware of the slightest bit of moisture like - no shit - Kang Dongho is nervous. Kang Dongho is nervous. Around him. 

Still, even if his palms are sweaty - his face is still the wall Daehwi cannot breakthrough. "Are you going to eat or what?”

Daehwi hesitantly lifts the fork to his mouth. Unwillingly, his eyes wander to Dongho’s lips as he chews – the flavour of Kimchi blending with oranges filling his mouth until he literally feels himself put the plate down and run towards the washroom. “I need to throw up –“

“God – thanks for the vote of confidence in my cooking Daehwi-“

He doesn’t really need to throw up.

He needs – anything but Kang Dongho’s face in front of him right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The love the last chapter got was amazing <3 thank you guys so much for all the love <3 
> 
> One last note - (and I'm seriously debating even posting this here but - I don't want to not post this). As you all probably know at this point - something happened in Kpop this week that I'm hoping will change the way the industry operates and will hopefully change fandom and fan culture for the better too. 
> 
> That being said - If any of you ever need to talk through anything - let me know. I know sometimes things can get a bit intense in people's minds when it festers internally and I think being able to talk through it with people who are open and there for you can help a lot (even if they don't necessarily understand the full scope of what you're going through).
> 
> So yes. In summary. Love you all. Here for you. Please take care of yourselves.
> 
> Also an odd way to end off but I do want to wish all of you a merry christmas and happy holidays and happy new year. So yes. That too.
> 
> Much love <3 Lilli <3


	8. The Field Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I 100% blame all of you for this chapter - (you'll see why...)
> 
> Also heads - up - I edited at 4AM - so I'll have to edit again later T.T (in case of any crappy grammar/spelling - if you spot something please tell me<3<3<3<3)

_Today’s tip of the day! Don’t kiss your boss!_

_Honestly – this is Park Woojin isn’t it? You little POS – STOP. These messages are for DONGHYUN HYUNG'S EYES ONLY._

_Actually, this is Youngmin. I’m being real here, Daehwi. Please don’t kiss your boss. I know you’re new at working Daehwi – but getting horny/humpy in the workplace is generally frowned upon real bad :(_

_NICE TRY, PARK WOOJIN – I SWEAR TO GOD – I WILL HURT YOU WHEN I'M HOME LATER._

Daehwi puts his silenced phone away, taking a deep breath as he steps out of the elevator in the MNet building.

It’ll be fine. It’s just a Monday like any other Monday (i.e. likely boring, will consist of Dongho yelling at him occasionally when he can’t place the exact sound the older producer is looking for and then maybe at the end of the day – if Daehwi somehow survives – they’ll work on Daehwi’s song).

He clears his throat as he looks at the doorway to his office.

He can go in. He can do this.

From the glass window frame in the swing door, he can see Dongho’s already engrossed in work. The man is completely not disturbed by the fact that just this weekend he totally ruined his intern's life by making out with him.

Daehwi scoffs, turning to look at the man behind the door with a disgusted expression. Of course, it’s always the people in power who take ADVANTAGE of the people who are under them.

Well, no one's taking advantage of him today!

(Actually even last weekend, no one really took advantage of him. Technically speaking, he had been the one who took advantage of Dongho – but these are minor details he's going to totally ignore right now in favour of his sanity especially because it's all Dongho's fault anyways - a better boss would have been better at stopping him). 

He groans pacing around the door with the occasional peek in. Dongho's putting his headphones into his ears now - completely unaware that, just outside, Daehwi is having a minor meltdown. 

Daehwi knows he should walk in. He really should. There’s no reason to stand here like a complete creepo, just staring at Dongho as he works. For one, it’s really not that interesting and more importantly, Dongho is BORING.

He has to say that one a few times until his heart safely settles into a blood pressure value that would be considered only mildly above normal.

Daehwi feels his eyes squinting as he narrows in on the light movement of Dongho’s head.

Is he –

Oh god, his head is bobbing. Dongho looks like an old man on a viral video.

Daehwi’s lips stretch into a grin automatically when – to accompany his private bobbing - Dongho’s hands move in weird flicks and twists. His lips turn up as he sees Dongho move his hands over an imaginary drum set.

He pushes his head into his palm. He has to go save this ahjussi from himself before he does something else embarrassing.

While he's ready to go save Dongho from embarassing himself this early in the morning he is not expecting to be yelled at by his boss the moment he walks in. “GOOD MORNING!” Daehwi screams as Dongho screams back. “WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING I JUST SAID GOOD MORNING?”

“I’M SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU’RE SCREAMING!” He shoots back, hand over his heart as he feels his chest move up and down rapidly. Oh god, his blood pressure is spiking again. 

Happy thoughts, Daehwi! Happy thoughts!

Dongho opens his mouth understandingly as he pulls off the headphones apologetically. “Ah - good morning!” This time, Daehwi feels a little less attacked. It might have to do with how Dongho’s grin looks positively infectious.

Seriously – Daehwi feels like he’s coming down with the stomach flu. His heart is simultaneously shooting two signals to his brain.

  * Run right out of the room to the washroom and throw up, Lee Daehwi
  * Stay right here and throw up, Lee Daehwi



He doesn’t understand what the fuck he’s feeling. In the past, feelings have been easy for him.

When Daehwi’s been in love before – he’s been IN LOVE. He’s a clingy, needy, amazing lover who makes the person he’s with feel like they’re the only thing that matters in the world.

When Daehwi’s hated someone…he’s HATED someone. He’s the type of person who’ll go out of his way to make sure that person knows exactly how he feels about them, definitely cuss them out to everyone who’s willing to listen and maybe on occasion he’s slashed a few tires out of petty rivalries.

(He’s never been caught though so it doesn’t really matter. He's only ever done that to people who can afford to fix their fancy Lambos like Justin Huang anyways and it was Samuel's idea! Donghyun's right. Somi and Samuel might be bad influences -)

Anyways, none of that matters. WHAT DOES MATTER IS THIS.

This stupid Fight/Flight response that he’s having just looking at Dongho’s face is one that he doesn’t recognize. It’s completely unprecedented because he no longer knows how to handle himself. He can’t even manage how he responds to Dongho because it’s like the man has obtained some sort of secret phantom key that makes Daehwi react to him exactly like he would if he had absolutely no filter on.

And Daehwi ALWAYS has a filter on. So his reaction to Dongho right now is something he doesn't really like because he actually really enjoys his snarky predictability and sassy retorts.

This - this weird feeling is uncharted territory. 

Dongho’s still smiling at him, waiting for his good morning greeting. Daehwi just nods his head and settles down on the chair beside Dongho. He wants to say good morning too, it’s the polite thing to do, but the push and pull in his head is so strong that it makes him not really want to do anything other than just exist here beside Dongho.

This, in its own sick way, is actually a pleasant and neutral enough a position for him to take. 

If he doesn’t say anything at all, isn’t that the best? If he finally _FINALLY_ shuts the fuck up, he can stop whatever’s going on inside of his head, right?

This is the only way he can try to turn back time so that he doesn’t kiss Dongho when they first meet, he doesn’t scream at him on his first day and he doesn’t – fuck the fuck up. “Did you sleep well?” The question is laced with tones of concern and genuine curiousity. Daehwi turns to see Dongho's leaned forward slightly, elbow pressed on the edge of the table like he's looking for unconscious support and Daehwi wants to yell and hit his head.

Why the hell did he think 'KIE204: Understanding Body Language' would be a good course to take?

Dongho has NEVER asked him about – well – anything personal. At least, not until this weekend.

Daehwi gives him a weak halfhearted nod as a response. It’s not like he can tell Dongho that his dream last night involved Dongho on a pirate ship dancing in a Spongebob costume. Honestly that one – even he tried to not think about. (Spongebob wouldn't even be on a pirate ship. Everyone knows Squarepants-ssi lives in a pineapple under the sea).

“Think you’re up to going out today?” Daehwi feels his entire body shut down from mortification.

This time, even all of his self-control can’t help him. He’s turned to look at Dongho, eyes wide, mouth laughing nervously.

Dongho, as usual, could give two shits about the mess in Daehwi’s head. He's staring at Daehwi blankly like some airhead bimbo with a plastic smile on his face essentially proving that he is just trying to be nice and there’s no ulterior motive to his actions.

Daehwi’s still 100% sure that he’d rather they just stay away from each other until death do they part (or at least until this internship is over but at this point the dying thing is looking more likely).

So yeah, working together while trying to stay away from him is already basically an impossible task. On top of that, if Dongho actually wants them to spend time together - he's royally fucked. “I don’t know about going out -“ He hopes Dongho gets the message by the noncommittal tone of his voice.

“No?” The object of his mental torture smirks at him, one eyebrow raised with such grace that Daehwi almost whimpers as a response to Dongho's 'not-a-real-question' question. Dongho is not getting the message, if anything he's getting some sort of other weird signal because Dongho’s dense as a freaking rock. "Daehwi - say something." How can he be expected to say anything, right now? His insides are literally melting away at the way pride easily snakes its way onto Dongho’s face making him look very – very – good.

Honestly, Dongho looks a little too good because now Daehwi’s melted insides are knotting up in tense tiny knots that tighten in his back, his legs, his arms, his neck, his every – freaking - body - part.

_Oh fuck._

Do something else, Daehwi. Distract yourself quickly before you literally tell the world what you’re feeling.

Right – Dongho’s wearing clothes. Just look at the clothes! Clothes aren’t lips. Clothes aren’t sexual. Clothes definitely are not going to suffocate you like his lips might (if you ask very nicely).

His clothes, like Dongho, are boring. Dongho’s still wearing that stupid black shirt, black pants, and black heart uniform of his.

He, also, uncharacteristically, has a houndstooth necklace on today.

Daehwi’s not sure why it matters but his eyes need a safe place to focus and apparently the area where the silver from his necklace hits just below his clavicle is where this safe place is.

After a few seconds of his eyes staring at the point where Dongho's neck and chest meet, he feels the knots return. He's suddenly feeling like he needs a 2L bottle of water right now because the more he looks, the more he’s floored by the fact that something as stupid as Dongho's bony clavicle is literally his kryptonite. “Fine – I guess I’ll just have to take Seonho then.”

Wait – what?

His eyes flicker up to meet Dongho’s properly for the first time that morning and he's sure he looks upset. Dongho only looks this shade of bratty happy when Daehwi’s visibly disturbed by his stupid teasing.

Why would Dongho take Seonho anywhere? He’s Dongho’s intern! “Take Seonho, where?” His voice makes no effort to hide exactly how betrayed he feels by Dongho’s words.

Daehwi feels his own smile fall when Dongho leans towards him mischeviously. “No where.”

Daehwi’s always considered himself a fairly level-headed individual in his own mind (others may disagree). Today, the idea that Dongho’s going to be taking Seonho somewhere instead of him irks him to absolutely no end.

He squints at the man whose swinging from side to side in his swivel chair, barely aware of the stress he’s inflicting on him. Or maybe he’s too aware – Daehwi’s not entirely sure what it is that Dongho knows and doesn't know.

In the end, it doesn't matter because Daehwi knows. He knows that Kang Dongho is dangerously tempting. Not in the sexy way either – more like the _'holy-shit-mommy-he’s-going-to-ruin-my-life'_ way (which, as it turns out, is actually a little sexy because Daehwi’s always been self-destructive but he's NEVER going to admit that out loud).

He can’t just sit here and let Dongho have his way with – bullying – him.  “Ah I see – are you going to take Seonho home and flirt with him next?”

“YAH!” Daehwi bursts out laughing when he sees Dongho’s arrogant smile saunter off to be replaced by a look of utter indignation and trauma.

TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME. KANG – DONG- YA HOE. "I was only joking!" He pouts, sticking his lower lip out as he blinks rapidly to fan his lashes out adorably.

Dongho flushes bright red. “Do you really think you’re in a position to be joking like that?” Daehwi only manages to move his head in erratic motions that can be considered nods in some universe. “I was the victim, you know.”

It’s Daehwi’s turn to feel bashful as he ignores the growing twisted feeling in his chest. Dongho’s not wrong but Daehwi’s also not going to admit he did something wrong. He doesn't even want to acknowledge it happened. “Yeah, you were – **_so_** victimized.” He drawls, doing his best to look extra busy when all he’s really doing is entering his password incorrectly multiple times on the welcome screen.

It's not even that good a cover. Dongho can freaking see him failing at entering his password every single time. “Well - we’re going to a preliminary meeting with an agency. One of the songs we worked on early in your internship finally got picked up.” Dongho's attempt to steer their conversation back to safe territory is something Daehwi is both grateful for and hates. 

HAHA - SHOCKER. TWO FEELINGS - no wonder his blood pressure is so high. His poor cardiovascular system is seriously being overworked right now. “Say that first then, man. Sure, whatever, I’ll come along.”

“Ha - I’m not taking you now. You said no.” Dongho’s trying his best to do something. What it is that Dongho’s trying to accomplish by being a little _bitch_ , Daehwi’s not exactly sure. It is, however, very very irritating.

“Sure. That’s fine too. Take Seonho.” Daehwi turns to him with a skeptical look on his face. “Sweet Seonho. Adorable Seonho. Seonho who you can’t yell at – or bully – or make your pretend –“ Dongho claps a hand over his mouth and Daehwi's so startled for a second that his eyes close imagining Dongho's hand falling off to be replaced by something wet, warm and entirely too lovely. His eyes flicker open as he shakes his head from side to side so quickly Dongho's fingers end up on the side of his mouth.  “What?! I’m just saying the truth!” He huffs and turns away from him until his back is to his boss.

Dongho probably thinks it's because he's upset.

It's actually because Daehwi needs a second to calm himself down. Kang Dongho's face is the last thing he needs to look at.  “Daehwi-“

“Yes?” He mumbles.

Dongho's hand grips onto his left shoulder just tight enough to whip his chair around so that they're facing each other again. “Before you say something stupid again, will you just shut up and come with me?”

“Yes.” Daehwi grins to himself, relieved when Dongho’s swivel chair finds itself situated back in front of Dongho's system - a mere 100 centimeters away from him.

It’s just enough distance for Daehwi to stop himself from floating over to the other man's side for no reason. 

 

 

 

 

 

“I AM SO EXCITED GUYS.”

It’s not that Daehwi has a problem with Seonho being here.

He really doesn’t. He likes Seonho.

Seonho is just so – loud. “I’M IN THE FRONT SEAT OF DONGHO HYUNG’S MONSTER CARRERA- UWAH – HYUNG THIS CAR IS LIKE SO ANCIENT BUT YOU MAKE IT LOOK SO NEW.”

Daehwi feels his eyebrows furrow as he looks around the black leather seats and electronic lights that surround the rims of each door.“This car is old?” He murmurs to himself. Dongho probably can’t hear him through the pumping music and Seonho’s screaming voice. Seriously, he sounds like Samuel on the phone, this kid.

“Yeah – it’s my dad’s car.” Dongho grins brightly at him through the mirror he's supposed to be using to check traffic at the back. When their eyes catch, Daehwi watches as Dongho's eyes crinkle at the corners just the slightest - indicative of the smile Daehwi still feels glued on his lips despite his best efforts. He makes a quick show of covering his mouth and turning to the window as Dongho continues his conversation with Seonho. “You know the brand, Seonho? It isn’t sold in Korea anymore.”

At being engaged again, Seonho practically screams. “Hyung -  I LOVE CARS. You customized this one yourself, right? The interior is seriously daebak hyung – this must have cost a mini fortune.”

Seonho’s not even talking to him and yet the words are out of Daehwi’s mouth like he has something to prove to Seonho. “Dongho doesn’t save money.”

Immediately, he hates himself. What the fuck? That’s something Dongho told him in confidence. What is wrong with him? “Daehwi’s right Seonho, don’t follow my example. I’m REALLY  bad at saving money – and cleaning.”

Daehwi snorts. Okay, he really wouldn’t say that – Dongho's house is way more organized than Daehwi’s own. Granted, he is living with one asshole who is getting beat up later today and two lovable idiots.

All Dongho has to do is take care of himself.

Sure, Dongho sucks at that too but not when it comes to cleaning. Daehwi would venture to say it has more to do with protecting his best interests. “Still, hyung! It must have been amazing to work on your dad’s car instead of just get a brand new one. It means so much more. What engine did you install in here because it definitely isn't the original model, right?”

Great – car chatter – this is going to be one fucking long Seoul-traffic-ridden drive.

Daehwi’s looking out the window when he hears a crunch from in front of him and immediately he's turned his head to make sure no one has died.

Instead, his eyes bulge when they're greeted with the sight of a literal vein popping up on Dongho's arm - waving to him and saying god damn freaking hello as Dongho obliviously changes gears. 

Suddenly, things don’t look so boring anymore because all he can look at is Dongho driving a manual.

Smiling.

Laughing.

Changing god damn lanes like some sort of fucking Formula1 race driver checking all his sides with a penchant for safety .

Even Dongho’s head is angled to the right to show off his perfectly sculpted jawline, shadowed with the slightest trace of an irritatingly teasing 5 o’clock shadow that has Daehwi wanting that stupid 2L bottle of water again. (Why didn't he go to the kitchen before they left, why? He's been thirsty all god damn day and he's not entirely sure it's because he's actually thirsty)

Dongho's started talking about some stupid expensive engine that Daehwi gives literally zero fucks about and yet he finds his eyes running up from his jaw to his eyes. His heart twists as he leans forward completely magnetized by the sight of the happy, expressive, passionate Dongho in front of him. 

He's vaguely aware of how creepy he looks from the back so he starts to nod vaguely so he doesn’t look like a complete idiot following a conversation he’s not really listening to.

What the fuck is wrong with him? This should be boring. This is so boring. Everything about his boss NEEDS to be boring - and yet he finds himself absorbing stupid statistics like higher horsepower dyno and custom V16 crank - and then he stops talking. Dongho starts to shift off the highway and, like the overly cautious driver he is, he turns around to Daehwi’s side of the car to check his blind spot.

If Daehwi knew how to drive, he would have realized that this would happen and Dongho would catch him staring at everything from his eyes to his face to his – god – damn – arms.

Daehwi bows his head lightly and Dongho exits off the highway safely, turning back to the front to laugh at a joke Seonho makes about cars that completely flies over Daehwi's own head.

Safely left alone in the backseat again as the two in the front start gabbering away, Daehwi whimpers shoving his head into his hands. This day is not going as planned.

Thankfully, the drive ends shortly thereafter. Daehwi’s able to keep himself to the back as they walk to the building they're visiting. Seonho has his hands casually thrown over Dongho’s shoulders, happy to be included in this impromptu field trip and Daehwi feels something vaguely green settle in the pit of his stomach.

Honestly – how does Seonho do it?

Seonho makes everything look so easy, like it’s just – normal.

Why can't he do that?

Daehwi stops walking just in time as Dongho moves to the desk at the front and Seonho stays back with him.

His need to stare doesn't really falter. Even now, Daehwi's eyes bore a hole into the sight of Dongho, head thrown back in abandon as he laughs at something the pretty receptionist is telling him. Probably her phone number.

Oh - that's what that feeling is. He's envious.

Just of Seonho though - not of the girl - not really. Why should he be? “Psst – Daehwi- isn’t this fun?”

Daehwi resists the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, it's so much fun watching his brain explode as he tries literally everything he can to not look at the one face he pretty much gets paid to spend all of his time looking at.

Okay, maybe that’s not what he’s paid for normally but today that’s what it feels like. Daehwi just can't stop his eyes from drawing themselves to Dongho like some sort of sick puppy. In the sober light of day, things should be easier and yet it's taking all of Daehwi's depleting willpower to not make the same mistakes he made in the shroud of the most perfect night he's ever had.

There isn’t a place in the world right now that Kang Dongho would be and it wouldn’t take all of Daehwi’s will to do –

Something.

He’s not quite sure what that is. (He’s actually very sure what that is). 

Dongho’s walking back over to them with visitor badges that they immediately place on their chests. Seonho, clingy brat that he is, is fumbling with his clip for a solid minute and a half until Dongho gives up and makes the slightly younger boy still as he clips the badge on for him. “Why didn’t Jaehwan come?”

Dongho snickers as both Seonho and Daehwi turn to look at him confused. As if realizing his audience, he clears his throat. “He’s busy - with other - stuff.” Seonho turns back obliviously to his book bag to pull out a notebook and pen but Daehwi looks at Dongho with a pointed look that makes the other man shrug.

There’s something there.

He needs to ask Minki for more details later. Minki’s scary – he knows everything about EVERYTHING.

Oh – wait – shit – does he know about him too?

Maybe it's best if he stays away from Minki for the foreseeable future.

“Kang Dongho. Man, I ALMOST didn’t recognize your name.” Daehwi turns to the intruder who is staring at Dongho with happiness in his eyes like he's seeing an old friend after years.

And again - as they embrace - that ugly little green thing in the bottom of his stomach starts screaming and he stomps childishly trying to rid himself of the feeling.

Man, he really needs to throw up or something. First, his cardiovascular system and now his digestive system - “It’s nice to see you again too, Sungjae!” As they seperate, Daehwi watches closely as Dongho's fingers wring themselves together - nervous, anxious and obviously seeking Sungjae's unsaid approval. 

Who the hell is this Sungjae to Dongho?

His boss looks so stressed at the sight of this guy that he's completely forgotten to introduce the two of them. “Hello Sungjae-ssi! I’m Lee Daehwi and this is Yoo Seonho. We work with Kang-ssi at MNet and we're here today to help with the preliminary meeting and discuss any concerns your label may have with the demo track."

General workplace politics would dictate that he not speak up at all and Daehwi’s never felt this more than when Sungjae raises his eyebrows and gives him a half nod like he's telling him to shut up.

It makes him remarkably happy that he’s not working with a stick in the mud like this guy.

It’s then that he remembers, Dongho hasn’t written under his real name. Ever.

This can't be Dongho's first song that's been picked up by a label under his own name. That wouldn't be - it just wouldn't make any sense.

 “Ah – shit, right. Sungjae - Daehwi's my intern and Seonho is Jaehwan's. He couldn't come today because he's swamped but it's my song anyways and I wanted to give them some exposure to how things work on this side. I hope that's okay?” Dongho shoots them both an apologetic look. Daehwi doesn’t really mind and Seonho’s blissfully oblivious. “How’s life been here anyways? I heard they've given you a few more artists to manage?”

“Yeah - it's been good work wise but I’m probably going to get called for service soon. I’m trying to postpone it as much as I can - I don't know how you voluntarily went through with it. The army sounds like my worst nightmare."

Dongho laughs at that, shaking his head and hands together. "It's really not that bad - it's nice when you just want a break from everything."

"It’s nice to see you out though.” Sungjae guides them through glass doorways in an area that smells sweaty and kind of gross. “You’re really not going by Baekho anymore then, huh?”

Despite the fact that he’s being entirely too nosy, and he really shouldn’t be stepping so close to Dongho to over-hear their conversation, Daehwi does it anyways. “It makes things with Pledis a bit of a cleaner cut - plus the association mentioned it makes the royalty calculations easier.”

“Hey man, we’re just happy we can use your stuff finally. You were under lock and key for Pinky there, right?” Sungjae nods understandingly clapping a hand over Dongho's broad shoulders with his own equally long arms. “Your new track ‘Fade’ is exactly what we wanted to hear for a lively electronic track. I really didn’t expect it from you but once I started listening I caught some your signature moves-“

Daehwi knows ‘Fade’, he worked on it when they first started working together.

Daehwi also hates that he knows what Sungjae is talking about because he spent all weekend listening to Pinky’s discography to realize that Dongho has a few habits he can’t really avoid.

He likes adding crescendos in all his second verses, the words to most of his songs are so lyrical that sometimes you can’t really understand them at first listen and –

They’re inexplicably him when paired with his voice. (He’d gone down a rabbit hole on YouTube and actually found out Dongho used to perform Pinky covers in cafes for fun like some sort of depressed masochist bum). “Shit, dude.I thought I was doing a good job changing my style!”

“You are! You are!” Sungjae laughs at Dongho’s saddened face. “Okay – enough small talk. Treat our trainee gently. English or Mandarin if you can and we all know you can -“ Sungjae wiggles his eyebrows at Dongho who looks a little uncomfortable at whatever it is Sungjae’s trying to imply.

Wait – Dongho speaks English? And Mandarin? That’s one WHOLE language more than Daehwi.

When they walk into the trainee room, there’s just one trainee in the room who’s running like he’s –

Trying to dance? Trying to be fashionable? Daehwi's not sure what he's doing - isn't he hot in that surgical mask over his face?

Also to be fair, Daehwi’s best friend Park Woojin is the neighbourhood-piece-of-shit but he also happens to be the most amazing dancer. Inevitably, Daehwi tends to be a bit of a harsher critic on dancing than most others despite having relatively no talent in the field.

Still, he supposes the boy’s doing quite well for someone whose body is built tall and gangly like he’s been made and molded to walk runways instead music show stages.

When Sungjae stops the music and the boy stops mid-sweep, Seonho bursts out in applause. Sungjae, Daehwi and Dongho all do their best to not laugh – you’re not really supposed to clap for a training performance, are you? “WOW. DUDE. That was SO GOOD.”

It was okay but Daehwi’s starting to see the appeal of having Seonho around. Jaehwan should feel lucky that he has such a lovely cheerleader in his corner.

The trainee finally turns around and rips the surgical mask off his face, wiping the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand.

Daehwi feels his eyes expand as he turns to see Dongho’s jaw drop.

“Dongho – meet Lai Guanlin!”

Oh - fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like - Guanlin wasn't in this story I swear - and then there were quite a few people who thought Guanlin was Chinese guy from the Club who tried to grab Dongho's jewels - and then I was like - what if he IS in this story - 
> 
> And just like that - you all wrecked me. WRECKED ME. (Initially I wanted it to be JungJung bc - JungJung's boss and also old enough to do that-)
> 
> Anyways the point of this was to actually thank those of you who brought Guanlin up for being inspiring and thank you for all your love! I hope for those of you who thought it was Guanlin - you're fairly happy with his intro :)


	9. The Trainee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME BACK TO INTERNSHIP (if you're still reading TT.TT sorry for the delay on this but I got a little heavy on the focus for LI/Destination)
> 
> BUT STILL - WELCOME BACK I HOPE YOU'LL STILL ENJOY THE BELOW SORRY FOR ALL THE YELLING IT IS VERY LATE AND I AM TIRED. TIRED TIREDDDD.
> 
> as always - please forgive lilli making stupid typos <3 she will edit again as she reads through this tomorrow

So Chinese guy had a name.

Honestly – this would have been so much easier if Guanlin had just hit on him –

Guanlin, though surprised, is not as disturbed as the two of them. Instead, he looks to Sungjae with an uncaring nod and shrug. “Sungjae-ssi, I already know them.” Daehwi’s eyes blink quickly as he shakes his head.

No - Guanlin did not just say that. Shit, is this guy stupid?! How the hell is an entertainment trainee going to explain that he met the two producers who are working on his debut track in a FREAKING GAY BAR?

“You know ‘them’ Guanlin? From where?”

“Just somewhere!” Daehwi adds quickly hoping that shuts down that discussion. Lai Guanlin needs to have his brain checked.

His eyes turn to check on Dongho who has stayed silent, his own gaze is fixed solely upon Guanlin.

As much as Daehwi’s not quite excited at the prospect of all of them working together – it’s just something they'll have to deal with. This is the first song Dongho can produce under his own name. That’s not something Daehwi can just walk away from because he feels awkward about the fact that Lai Guanlin has watched him almost kiss Dongho in the cover of fog and multicoloured lights.

His thoughts flutter away when his eyes catch sight of Seonho who has continued to clap slowly like one of those monkeys with the cymbals that just keep going forever. Maybe his little pea brain has finally short circuited.

“Hyung, I met them this weekend. Well – not the eager kid.” Guanlin gestures vaguely to Seonho who, to his credit, is not bothered by the rude remark. Instead, at being given attention by the sparkling (read: sweating) idol in front of him, Seonho is just left squealing loudly. “It’s nice to see you two again. Please take care of me.”

Suddenly, Dongho pushes away from Sungjae to come over to where Daehwi is.  “Uh –“ Daehwi ends up mumbling as he feels Dongho's arm land on his shoulders.  “Yeah –“ Great, now he’s sufficiently distracted by the way Dongho's hands grip him tight, unrelenting, strong, stable - definitely asking for a repeat of their performance this weekend.

Dongho can’t be fucking serious. There’s no way they’ll be able to convincingly keep up this charade - this isn't the club - the CUBE practice room is not the right place for Daehwi to worm his fingers through the belt hoops on Dongho's jeans so he can pull them to each other and fog up the mirrors.

His cheeks flush, exhausted by how fast his thoughts are escalating without his permission as he tries his best to shift away from Dongho.

His best isn’t very spectacular because Dongho's kept him stationary in his grasp and Daehwi doesn't have enough motivation in him to visibly push him off.

Fuck - can’t Dongho clean his own mess up without involving him?

“Are you two okay?” Guanlin looks at the two of them, hand gestured casually like it’s a perfectly natural thing to call them ‘ _you two_ ’ when in fact the term is practically giving Daehwi a mental breakdown.

Sure – a 'two' is exactly what they are – a boss and his employee. An appropriate two.

But they’re also a different sort of two right now – and it’s this two that’s messing with his head again as it’s presented it’s very attractive self like a carrot dangled opportunity that Daehwi wants nothing more than to dig his teeth into.

So no, Lai Guanlin, Lee Daehwi is most definitely not okay.

“Uh – “ Daehwi ends up mumbling again, eyes frowning as he bites his lips willing with all the telepathic power in his mind that Dongho can understand that he needs to move away from him so that Daehwi can process what the fuck is happening here.

Thankfully, since Dongho and Daehwi cannot save themselves from this situation – Seonho comes to their rescue. “You guys know him?” His fellow intern friend looks angry at him that he hasn’t been introduced to Guanlin yet.

“We met briefly.” Daehwi confirms, nodding his head.

“Very briefly.” Dongho echoes, a rough yank on his shoulders to pull him closer still has Daehwi stumbling quite literally in Dongho’s arms. He’s only able to really level himself by placing a hand on Dongho's chest - the rapid pulse echoes against his palm and quickly the limb is dropped back to his side. 

But he's not fast enough. Daehwi can tell he's engaged Sungjae's scrutinizing eye as he looks between Dongho and Daehwi with an adjusted curiousity.

“Where did you guys meet Lai Guanlin? You guys don’t hang out outside of work.” And just like that – all their hard work is completely shot to shit. Damn it, Seonho.

Dongho turns to look at him like he’s asking Daehwi to do something to fix the situation. Unfortunately for Dongho, Daehwi’s brain has lost all processing capabilities because yes, sure the insistence to do something is strong in Dongho’s eyes – but – it’s nothing compared to how the tight grip of Dongho’s fingernails has his head swimming in an infinite fantasy. “Somewhere Seonho –“

 “Okay, but where?” The more Seonho talks – the more holes he’s poking in this weird plot line of theirs. Can’t Seonho tell that he’s just making things more difficult for Dongho right now by pushing this topic?

“Somewhere, Seonho. Somewhere.” Dongho pats a hand on Seonho’s back with a sense of finality which thankfully has Seonho shut up for all of their sakes.

Sungjae clears his throat uncomfortably, looking to Guanlin for more information but his trainee looks away purposefully. Guanlin’s training to be a celebrity so he obviously isn’t supposed to be visiting ‘ _Closet_ ’ trolling for hookups.

Daehwi doesn’t really blame him for wanting to bend the rules. He’s sure it’s not easy training day in and day out for a career that’s still just a pipe dream.

Sensing the awkward quiet settling over their group, Sungjae claps his hands together. “Well – I guess official introductions aren’t necessary then. Dongho, Guanlin’s been training at CUBE for a little over three years now. Your song is going to be part of our guerrilla pre-debut content that we’re releasing to tease the audience on our upcoming boy group – all the boys in the group are getting their own songs but with Guanlin’s energy we thought _Fade_ would be just right. You working with him makes this a perfect fit since I know you’re able to manage foreign trainees really well - ”

Dongho starts coughing, blushing bright red and Daehwi feels himself get jealous. Excuse me – they’re supposed to be dating right now! How can Dongho just blatantly act like some flushed English Victorian lady?

“’Perfect fit’ my ass –“ Daehwi rolls his eyes, mumbling in English so no one else can understand him. He makes a move to separate himself from Dongho but his boss just grips on tighter, teeth clenched stressfully as he looks down at him in a desperate manner, begging Daehwi to stay put.

Fine. He will. 

“Are you not okay with this?” Guanlin responds in perfect English as the other three turn to look at them with confused expressions on their faces.

Oh shit. Chinese boy understood English?

Shit – shit – shit. “It’s fine.” Daehwi grins as cheesily as he can manage, even adding his two thumbs up because why the fuck not?

Dongho slaps his head with his hand and Daehwi drops his thumbs, a look of defeat marring his features. They’re not doing a very good job of keeping this casual. Sungjae and Seonho look utterly confused, Guanlin looks mildly amused, Daehwi’s sure he wants to throw up and Dongho looks –

Right at him.

He’s staring down at him – worried.

Then, slowly, Dongho seperates himself from Daehwi's side. “Guanlin – you dance very well. I’m looking forward to working together with you.” Wow – Dongho’s being mature, trying to take leadership and ownership for the decisions he’s made that have led to this very awkward conversation.

Instead of responding right away, Guanlin just raises one singular eyebrow and lets his silence fester in the air around them before he leans a little too close to Dongho, confidence bleeding from the way he carries himself. “I’m looking forward to working with you too.”

Dongho starts coughing.

By contrast, Guanlin has a smarmy grin on his face that betrays how proud he is that he’s managed to disturb Dongho.

Then – that – little – piece of shit – steps back and looks pointedly at Daehwi before his lips literally silently spell out the words ‘ _Sucks to be you’._

Daehwi feels his head turn around the room confused – wait did no one else see that? Is he hallucinating?

Not bloody likely – Guanlin looks even more proud that he’s managed to disturb Daehwi and possibly insert himself in their fictional relationship that doesn’t really exist.

Hell no, Daehwi's not going to let some random cute and disgustingly confident boy break up his fake relationship. (He'd done that once before with his real relationship and that had been enough pain for one lifetime thank you very much).

He gulps back the knot of worry he’s feeling as he comes over to Dongho and literally snakes his arms over his waist. This has caused the older man to jump in surprise, eyes demanding an explanation for the very precarious position of his hands.

“Dongho-ssi,” Daehwi’s doing his best to sound soft and subtle, honey and saccharine sweetness dripping from his tone. Dongho’s looking at him befuddled because Daehwi almost never adds the required honorific to his name. “‘ _Fade_ ’ has a very complex architecture that would require some technical manipulation on the singer’s part. Guanlin is just a rookie singer –  it’s best we start by discussing what we expect of him so that there’s no misunderstandings about how he should be delivering the song. It might be good to work through the sheet music once or twice today too and make sure the official schedule for recording is actually sufficient time for us to complete our work with Guanlin.” 

Sungjae raises an eyebrow again at Daehwi’s manipulation of the situation but this time instead of looking at him like an annoyance, Daehwi can tell that he’s being appraised. “We have a studio facility prepared for you all on the second floor – maybe that’ll help with the discussion?”

“Great! Let’s go do that now.” Dongho literally flies out of the room like he’s consumed a can of Red Bull.

“Do you guys have any food around here?” Seonho grumbles as he looks at Sungjae pointedly for a response, arms crossed over his chest.

“We have a vending machine -?” Sungjae’s hesitant response has Seonho pulling his hands through the older man's arms dragging him away before Daehwi has a chance to voice his objection to being left alone in the room with devil rookie Lai Guanlin.

“So just us two, huh?” Guanlin offers first, not quite in a friendly way but not quite overly confrontational either. “What’s your name again?”

“Daehwi. Lee Daehwi” He responds curtly tilting his head forward.

"Bond. James Bond." Was that a joke? That was disgustingly bad - Dongho and his bad sense of humor DESERVE Lai Guanlin.

He makes a move to leave to follow his co-workers but Guanlin lunges for his hands to pull him back without his permission. “Excuse me?!”

Now that he's not going anywhere, Guanlin immediately lets Daehwi's fingers drop from his. “Just, before you go – you know – thanks.”

“For what?”

“For not saying anything about – you know.”

Oh.

That.

Well of course. He's not just going to out someone at their workplace because they happen to be a questionable human being. That, in turn, would make him a questionable human being and he may be a dramatic mess of a person but Daehwi is a **_classy_** dramatic mess of a person. “No sweat, but maybe next time, you should check if a person is single before you approach them?”

 “Hey man – how was I supposed to know? We’re cool right?” Daehwi nods his head as carefully as he can but unfortunately his acceptance of their new ‘ _cool_ ’ status has Lai Guanlin smiling like he’s about to ask for Daehwi’s first child. “Like honestly – can you tell me something?”

“Depends – what do you want to know?”

“Are you guys even a thing?”

Oh. Hell. No. “What?”

“Come on - you two look scared of each other.” They are not ' _cool_ ' enough for this discussion because this question has left Daehwi with nothing in his mouth but air because there’s no proper way for him to respond to this question.

“Uh –“

“You have to think about it?” Guanlin pushes eagerly and Daehwi wants to ask him why he cares so much.

But having had the chance to be a little too close to Dongho's eyes himself, he has a feeling he already knows that answer. “I mean - we’re a 'thing' but like – could you keep it on the low? We're at your company as contractors and you train here - and just - it's not good to talk about that stuff here.” Good – that should be a good enough response that satisfies Lai Guanlin and keeps Dongho relatively safe from his grabby hands.

But the question has had his brain jumping through hurdles.

In some ways, aren’t Dongho and him a ‘thing’?

What does it matter that their ‘thing’ has no clear definition? What does it matter that this ‘thing’ is very quickly becoming all that he thinks about when he's physically forced to be around his boss’ perfectly brown eyes?

And none of what Daehwi’s feeling about their ‘thing’ is really Lai Guanlin’s business, anyways.

“Fine – cool – just you know. I thought I’d ask.” Guanlin’s still looking at him with equal parts amusement and disbelief because Daehwi’s not been as convincing as he’d like.

He has to deflect attention off himself. “Not to make a big deal out of it or anything but – maybe you should apologize to him for last weekend.”

“And what’s the best way to apologize to him?” Guanlin teases back enthusiastically.

In fact, Guanlin's pretty gummy smile takes over half of his face and Daehwi knows that Lai Guanlin is waiting for him to crack. “I don’t know –“

“You don’t know how to apologize to your own boyfriend?”

“Well, I haven’t really gone around grabbing his balls without his permission!” His response is whispered hotly as Guanlin bursts out laughing, hand covering his mouth as they leave the studio. “Where the hell are you going?!”

Guanlin turns his back towards the door, opening it with his bum. “Oh come on, Lee Daehwi – we can’t keep your boyfriend waiting for long – he'll get worried I'm snatching you away from him this time - “

“Stop saying that out loud! There’s people here –“

Dongho’s not the only one whose going to drive him mental.

Lai Guanlin is going to get him to go to a therapist very soon.

 

 

 

 

“WHAT A DAY. WHAT A DAY!” Seonho hollers as they enter what Daehwi now knows is a ‘ _Monster Carrera_ ’.

What a ridiculously fucking Dongho like name for a car. “You both were incredibly professional today, thank you.” Dongho bows his head towards both of them but when he looks up at Daehwi his gaze lingers just a little bit longer with enough words unsaid that Daehwi's only manner of responding is to cough uncomfortably. “You did very well today, thank you for being someone I can rely on.”

Now, he actually looks away because he knows what Dongho's talking about  but how is he supposed to tell Dongho that he didn't actually help because now Lai Guanlin believes that they’re ACTUALLY together? That Lai Guanlin is maybe a little persistent about checking that Daehwi’s actually saying the truth because he may or may not still be interested in him?

“No problem, hyung! For you - anything!” Seonho chirps brightly and Daehwi sneers as he looks at the oblivious younger boy beside him. Seriously – did Seonho actually think he did something to help today? Isn’t it obvious that Dongho’s talking to him right now? Is Seonho REALLY that self-absorbed?

Dongho nods kindly as he looks down at his watch and Daehwi huffs beside them all. This day has been way too stressful as it is – he’d like to just go home. “What do you guys say to calling it a day-“ YES YES YES. “After we get some lunch! I’m sure you guys are starving - I’ll treat you!”

How did this happen? Eating lunch with Dongho today is exactly the situation Daehwi had wanted to avoid “Hyung! Ewha’s close by. Do you mind if you just drop me there and I can go hang out with my friends?”

Daehwi gapes foolishly at Seonho whose magnetic smile leaves Dongho no option but to give in. “Sure, Seonho.”

Daehwi looks at Dongho with practical tears in his eyes but the other man is already driving and paying him no mind.

How did this HAPPEN?

Eating lunch with Dongho?

Alone?

In a freaking women’s university?!

NO.

NO.

NO.

 

 

Apparently the correct answer is **_Yes_** even if every fibre of his being is asking Dongho to go to a drive thru.

Yes, it turns out, is not as big a deal as Daehwi had imagined it to be because in the end Daehwi has ended up here –

Seated in front of Kang Dongho and Hwang Minhyun.

The two friends are presently giggling like little girls who are shopping for nail polish.

Instead of being two fully grown men in a dingy little Chinese Dim Sum restaurant. “Daehwi, you’re okay with us just – sharing everything right?”  Hwang Minhyun has the voice of a freaking angel. Hwang Minhyun also has the body of an angel.

This lunch could be worse.

He’s starting to see why Jaehwan’s hung up on the guy. Minhyun’s just enough beautiful to distract Daehwi's attention away from the demonic presence seated beside said hot professor.  “I’m fine with anything, thank you for bringing me along.”

Instead of accepting his polite behaviour, Minhyun starts to frown and look at Dongho. “You said he’s brattier than Seonho? That’s not brattier than Seonho.”

Dongho snickers, eyes connecting only for a second with Daehwi’s own to convey a secret message about exactly how bratty Daehwi can get around him.

Even Daehwi is forced to admit – something about Kang Dongho just happens to bring about the absolute worst in him.

“Minhyun-ah, right now Daehwi’s being extra polite because you’re here. If you walk away, I’ll get my troublemaker back.” Daehwi feels his left eyebrow twitch as he glowers openly at his boss. Honestly – do they have to talk about him like he’s not right in front of them? “See that look in his eyes? That’s the one he gives me before he’s about to bite my head off-“

“I wouldn’t do that!” He cuts Dongho off mostly because there are things on Dongho’s head he would like to bite off and the imagery is vivid enough that he's started to envision said biting that would happen perhaps slowly, painfully and with just enough pressure to leave the other man whimpering in the palm of his hands - stop it Daehwi. Stop. Stop. Stop. “I really respect my personality challenged boss.”

His boss looks pointedly at angel!Minhyun like Daehwi’s helped him prove a point.

Which is worse because he doesn’t ever want to do what Dongho wants him to do.

Dongho wants him to stay away. Dongho wants him to  be a cookie cutter intern that one day he can just forget about.

Dongho wants him just enough to not want him and suddenly in Daehwi's head this realization is too much to handle.

Sensing his obvious disturbance, Minhyun tries to change the subject. “Daehwi, Dongho tells me that you’ve been working on some stuff alone with him-“

Daehwi almost spits out his brown rice tea.

Shit. Does Minhyun ** _know_** what happened this weekend?

He glances at Dongho for some sort of cue on what kind of question this is. “The song, Daehwi. Minhyun’s asking you about the song, you know? The one we work on together after work sometimes?” Dongho iterates for him. Daehwi gulps down more tea. His brain is already fried – he can’t possibly be expected to actually talk anymore. “It’s pretty good Min. Honestly, I think Seonho would probably benefit from learning from Daehwi-”

Hold on a second here -

Dongho thinks he’s that capable? Dongho thinks he can teach Seonho something?

Dongho thinks – he’s  better?

Daehwi feels a smile worm its way on his face as he continues to look at his phone.

“Really?” Minhyun’s looking at him impressed. “Daehwi – what are you majoring in?”

“Well, I’m at Yonsei University, majoring in Songwriting and Composition– “ For some reason, the fact he’s sharing something about himself has Dongho cracking up beside Minhyun. “Excuse me – do you have something to say?”

“Minhyun – Daehwi’s a musical puritanist.” Dongho snickers again. 

Minhyun looks between his friend’s laughing face and Daehwi’s increasingly irritated one, utterly confused. “Dongho-ya, that’s not a word though.”  Dongho only laughs louder as he takes another gulp of his beer.

Why is Dongho such a jackass?

Thankfully, the smoke coming out of Daehwi’s ears is masked by their very first steaming Dim Sum basket.

The waitress quickly lifts the lid to reveal perfectly formed pockets of Har Gow and, as the youngest on the table, Daehwi immediately starts serving all three of them. “Minhyun-ssi, your friend works me HARD. Really Hard. Like I have to do shit that no normal person would have to do at their internship-” Dongho balks at him openly, shaking his head in desperation to shut him up but Daehwi's a little angry now - so angry he's not cooling down dumplings before putting them in his mouth. “Sometimes he doesn’t even deliver what he promised. He’s kind of a tease too-"

He can't say anymore because Dongho has now leaned over the table to shove his chin upwards in an attempt to physically shut him up. “Eat with your mouth closed.”

“Fine! I WILL.” Eating with his mouth open is a disgusting habit that he thought he kicked when Jinyoung would make faces at him from across the table on their dates.

“Also - Lee Daehwi, please stop talking crap. Your new headphones are in the office already. I just couldn’t give them to you this morning because you were jumpy as hell.” Daehwi stops chewing and his chopsticks slip from his fingers.

Wait - Dongho got what he was talking about? Dongho understood his temper tantrum? 

That's ridiculous. No one in all his years of living has ever understood his temper tantrums, even his own lovely mother.

His heart is hammering in his chest as he quickly picks up his chopsticks again to act like that stupid call out hadn’t just affected him for no good reason. It’s not even ABOUT the stupid headphones. .

He takes a deep breath and resolves to be more mature – at least more mature than his boss.

He’s even ready to amicably respond to him when he sees Dongho inhale one whole tray of pork dumplings without offering either Minhyun or him any.

What the fuck?!

He was the one who ordered those! He loves Siu Mai! He’d said he was okay sharing not just – UGH - this selfish mother-

Minhyun appears to have noticed that Daehwi’s two seconds away from losing his temper on his best friend. “Don’t mind Dongho so much Daehwi – when it comes to Siu Mai – he’s a bit of a pig.” Minhyun remarks patting Dongho’s head affectionately. This makes the irritating senior producer grumble but not stop on his mission to eat all six dumplings in the tray in ten seconds flat. “Excuse me, sorry for the trouble – but can I get another set of the pork soup dumplings?” The waitress bows and sets off on her way.

Daehwi bows his head thankfully. “What do you teach Minhyun-ssi?”

Minhyun takes the bait to switch the topic. He grabs the next steamer from the hands of the waitress revealing another set of plump, juicy pork dumplings for the two of them. “I’m an assistant professor right now. My current work is limited to Music Theory with Seonho’s mom but I’m working on expanding my course load to include some specific Composition style courses – especially on specialized instrumental techniques-” Ever the angel, Hwang Minhyun is even pushing the tray towards him first.

Wow – this guy had solid meal manners AND he’s looking into specialized instrumental techniques?!

Daehwi’s so touched.

He’s so touched he can’t even bring himself to eat as he pushes the tray back towards Minhyun who actually deserves the special treatment that comes with being older and more educated in the Korean social construct. “I insist, you’re older and you’re a professor-“

“You really wanted these! Daehwi, please, I don’t mind at all you should eat these first –“

“Oh my god. Just shut up. Why don’t you guys just both eat it?” Dongho rolls his eyes through bites of his own set as Daehwi glares at him.

Okay – he can’t really blame Jaehwan for being thirsty for Minhyun. If he’d grown up with Dongho and Minhyun as his options HE WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY CHOSEN MINHYUN TOO.

“HI GUYS! IS THAT A SET OF SIU MAI – OH MY GOD –“ Daehwi watches as Seonho pulls the basket away, quite literally using his unwashed fingers to swallow three in one-shot. “ONGASGAS SOGOT TANKU”

Daehwi feels tears touch his eyes. Seriously – SERIOUSLY?! Why was the world against him today? All he wanted was a peaceful day, with no irregularities and no way for him to eat with lunch with Dongho?

Was that too much to ask for?!

And where the hell did Seonho come from?

“Dear god – Daehwi don’t cry. It’s just Siu Mai-“ Dongho quickly passes him one of his own, which is really Daehwi’s anyways, and quickly calls for another back up tray.

“I’m not crying.” He pouts, sniffling anyways as the utterly warm perfect pocket of pork surrounds his mouth with the flavours of ginger, spice and something that tastes like kimchi fried rice mixed with oranges.

He immediately starts coughing and Dongho quickly passes him water.

Daehwi takes it, quickly swallowing mouthfuls, but he kind of hates Dongho for it.

Why does he have to do this to him?

Can't he tell that Daehwi's falling, melting, losing all physical form so that he can exist solely as a collection of emotions around him?

Can't he tell that being nice to him is a bad idea?

Can’t he tell that Daehwi’s getting confused? 

 

 

 

 

On their way to the car, Minhyun and Dongho walk ahead of them. Daehwi does his best to ignore Seonho. He’s still angry that Seonho had just come in on their field trip with no warning, had him eat alone with Dongho and Minhyun, and then tried to STEAL his dumplings? “Hey, Daehwi – is it cool if I sit in the back?”

“Uh - why?”

“I want to sleep. We ate a lot. I got some serious itis, bro.” Seonho squints his eyes and lets out a breathy sound to indicate said sleeping.

Daehwi is not falling for that bullshit. He’s just about to tell Seonho that he wants to sleep too when someone else’s irritating voice takes over. “Sure. Daehwi, sit up front.”

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

How can Dongho just let Seonho do whatever he wants?

Still, Daehwi’s forced to settle himself into the front seat of the ‘Monster Carrera’ (it’s still a fucking ridiculous name) and they all wave good bye to Minhyun.

He’s about to position himself into the perfect crevice to both sleep (or glower) at Dongho, when he’s surprised to find that the other man is looking straight at him like he's been waiting for Daehwi to pay him any sort of attention. “Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah.” Okay, that was a rhetorical question that Dongho was not supposed to actually respond to.  “Do you mind?” Daehwi looks at him quizzically. How the hell did Dongho know that he does mind that he’s been put here in the front seat against his will? Is he a mind-reader? “God – Daehwi you’re taking too long, let me just do it for you.”

Okay – so apparently Dongho has no clue about how he feels about Seonho.

Instead, Dongho's face invades his personal space in a move so oddly affectionate, Daehwi's left heartbroken and lifted at the same time. His arms have come over his shoulders, reaching to his back. Daehwi has received permission to stare at Dongho’s long lashes, watch his pearlescent skin glimmer in the late afternoon sun, stare at the glisten left on his lips by what’s probably a mix of soy sauce, ginger vinegar and the taste that is uniquely Dongho’s own and just cannot be described –

Maybe if he got a taste –

The seatbelt from behind him is pulled over his chest and just like that Dongho’s back in his seat, shaking his head as he starts the car ignition.

And once again – Daehwi is left all alone, hot and cold at the same time.

Why did he do that? If Dongho’d just said something about the seat belt – Daehwi would have done it himself.

They make their way to the highway and a loud groan comes from the back. Daehwi whips around to see Seonho’s literally made a bed for himself and looks like a rockstar with sunglasses on his face.

“Is he passed out?” Dongho asks him idly, eyes focused on the road.

“Yeah – uh – is Minhyun sure this is a musical genius we’re working with?”

“Jaehwan’s exactly the same to be honest. It’s probably why it’s been harder for them to work together. It helps to have opinions that are different from your own in any creative field. It forces you to acknowledge the process is not perfect, kinda like you and me. We’re both drastically different in how we approach music production but we work well together anyways because we can respect each other. It’s nice.”

This is a completely platonic statement.

It’s completely work related and actually all Dongho is really saying in his own stupid long winded way is that he likes that Daehwi thinks differently from him.

What Daehwi’s hearing though is he’s nice. He helps a lot. Dongho’s forced to acknowledge him.

He bites his lips as he turns to see Dongho check his blindspot, his literal insides turning to mush at the sight of SAFE DRIVING.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? “You okay?”

“Nah – yeah – nah.”

“Na-ya-na? What does that mean?”

“It’s a cool way of saying yes, I’m fine.” Daehwi grumbles at the sight of incandescent happiness that touches Dongho’s eyes. God – Dongho must think that Nayana is a real word. Is he actually that gullible? “Guanlin seems cool.”

“Yeah, when he’s not drunk. You know, he apologized to me?”

Daehwi didn’t know that. It must have been when Daehwi had to pull Seonho aside to tell him to stop cheering for every little note Guanlin hit successfully. “Did you forgive him?”

“Well – yeah. I mean we have to work with him and it’s not like I haven’t done stupid shit drunk. If he keeps his professionalism up then we’ll be fine.”

It’s stupid, Daehwi knows he shouldn’t be frowning. What Dongho’s saying makes perfect sense but Daehwi’s going to be nonsensical for just a second. “What if he doesn’t want to be professional?”

“Then – we have a problem?” Dongho laughs as shakes his head. “You sure that you’re okay?”

“I said – I’m fine. God. Why are you so obsessed with me?”

“Because we both know you’re a little –“ Dongho grits his teeth together stretching his neck. “You know-“

Holy shit, did he just call him crazy? “Are you saying I’m crazy?!”

“Are you saying you’re crazy?! What – Daehwi- that's not good for your self esteem. Be kinder to yourself." Dongho teases, tongue practically poking out from his lips as Daehwi huffs in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest before he crumbles in laughs himself.

"Okay fine - if I'm crazy - you're chaos."

"I like that -" Dongho teases. "If you come back after you graduate, we can use that as our team name. Crazy&Chaotic."

"How much is the pay?"

"You get all the free coffee ever and I'll yell at you less -"

"Wow - send the contract. How is anyone ever going to beat that offer?" Daehwi responds sarcastically, of course Dongho wouldn't be serious about actually working with him. The car slows down at the stoplight before their building finally. Thank god, the ride back was infinitely faster now that they’re working against traffic.

He’s not sure how much longer he can be in an enclosed space with Kang Dongho without either killing him or –

Well.

Either option isn’t really a good idea given that they have a witness slumbering away in the back.

“Seonho – get up. We’re almost there.” Daehwi barks in an attempt to distract his mind. He can be mean to Seonho, they’re at the same level. Hell, Daehwi’s technically senior to him by all real measures – at school Seonho would be running around getting him coffee for free – ALL THE TIME.

Okay so he’s kind of using Seonho as a punching bag for his frustration. This isn’t very fair to Seonho who actually looks rather cute waking up from his nap, pulling his sunglasses over his head. “Can I be honest with you, guys?”

“Of course, Seonho. Just because I’m working with Daehwi doesn’t mean I can’t help you too – whatever you need.” Does Dongho have to be so nice to Seonho all the god damn time? It’s not like Daehwi’s running to Jaehwan for advice –

He should. He really should. At least, Jaehwan doesn’t make him feel like he’s going to throw up every time he looks at him. “Can I stick around – during the recording and stuff with Guanlin? I don’t think I’m really helping Jaehwan and I don’t want to feel like I’m getting in the way-“ Dongho puts the car in park and turns around to face him.

Dongho’s completely bought into this kid’s pity party.

Great – great. Now he has to SHARE Dongho with Seonho and Guanlin.  “Let me see what I can do- maybe for the next few days as Daehwi and I work on this with Guanlin, you can tag along. It is good experience for you too.”

Seonho looks visibly brighter as he reaches for Daehwi’s shoulders to shake them energetically. “WOOHOO- Daehwi aren’t you excited?”

“Positively lit.” He drawls monotonously. Dongho turns to look at his expressionless face with a humored smile of his own.

Sure, Daehwi’s still a mess of emotions every time he looks at the guy but at least right now one emotion stands out a little bit more than the others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM.”

Hyeongsub squeaks as the door bangs shut behind Daehwi.  “Uh, is he normally this - shrieky?” Daehwi’s eyebrow quirks as he turns to see Hyeongsub nuzzling into Woojin’s side in the kitchen by the entrance to their house.

Oh – great. He’s interrupted couple #2’s love fest.

“Yeah – ignoring Daehwi when he comes home in this mood is best, Hyeongsub-ah.” Woojin leans over Hyeongsub, front pressed to back with their hands folded over each other’s to cover the hilt of a knife as they carefully slice potatoes into –

This is so stupid, Park Woojin is making triangle fries.  

Okay, if they’re going to try and be all couple-y they could at least try to make fries in the right shape. “Both of you look stupid doing that, give it here.” Daehwi’s hands push the two idiot lovers away.

Immediately, they giggle watching as Daehwi takes ownership of their meal in seconds. Why are they giggling at him? They’re the ones who don’t know what shape fries come in – how can you not even know that?

“What’s wrong now, drama queen?” Considering what a little bitch Woojin was on text all day, he probably shouldn’t be passing Daehwi a knife.

Still, for now at least, Daehwi will let his friend live. “I resent that title and I honestly think you need to re-evaluate your personality. Hyeongsub, are you sure you want to be with him?”

Hyeongsub, being ever so sweet and ever so dense, takes his question literally. “Yes. Of course. Woojin’s amazing.” Daehwi’s going to throw up. He’s not in the mood for love right now and he really can’t stand seeing the stars in Hyeongsub’s eyes. “What’s wrong, Daehwi? I mean – you’re usually – pretty tightly wound- but this is a lot even for you.”

“Daehwi just has a stick up his butt but not the good kind or even the 'I-need-medical-attention' kind -“ Daehwi uses the back of his leg to kick his roommate in his side.

 He knew kick-boxing had to be good for something. “It’s nothing major, Hyeongsub – I just hate my boss.”

“That’s horrible! Does he treat you really badly?” Daehwi shakes his head. “Oh god – is he like – secretly a drug dealer?” No, but he had once heard Minki tell him a story about how Dongho fought a drug dealer on a trip to South America – did that count? “Oh I know – he’s –“

“Stop trying to guess, you won’t get it, Hyeongsub-ah. Drama queen here made out with his boss and can’t deal with the consequences his horny drunk ass inflicted on him- OUCH OUCH. STOP KICKING ME. I’m just here to spit out the real truths, man!”

“Oh – that doesn’t sound so bad.” Hyeongsub cheers happily, hands clapping excitedly for Daehwi. “He must be cute right?” Oh dear god, Ahn Hyeongsub looks like he’s seriously pondering his predicament which is not at all what Daehwi wants. He doesn’t want a solution. Especially not from Ahn Hyeongsub, who he barely knows. Daehwi just wants to bitch, moan and complain – where the hell is Donghyun when you need him? “Maybe you’re just lonely Daehwi?”

Daehwi turns to look at Woojin pointedly. How can they get Hyeongsub to stop talking? “Hyeongsub-ah – let’s just leave Daehwi alone – he’s probably just thirsty cause it’s been a while-” Gee, thanks Einstein, like he didn’t know that.

“OH! Maybe a bit of both then!  That’s a dire combination. We should get you out more, Daehwi! Why don’t you come to our next date night? We’re going painting soon! My friend runs the class  -”

“Uh – no thanks.” Daehwi and Woojin respond at the same time as Hyeongsub pouts immediately. “I just meant for Daehwi babe, I’m coming! You know that I support you and your friends.”

When Woojin’s arms wrap around Hyeongsub to comfort his momentarily displeased boyfriend, Daehwi rolls his eyes. “Please – stop before I add my classic sick seasoning to your fries.”

Woojin shakes his head. “Okay – but seriously how long has it been since you tried to meet someone outside of our friend circle in a romantic capacity?”

“Dude this whole mess started because of Closet and me trying to forget about being ‘alone’” To demonstrate exactly what a mess closet was, Daehwi purposely bangs his head into the cupboard he’s opening.

Woojin bursts out laughing.

Today is really not his day.

And he has a feeling the next few weeks aren't going to be great either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was updated mostly bc I wanted to feel like I did something to :
> 
> A) celeb Nu'ests 6TH ANNI- ~~~ OMG congratulations NU'EST (I say this but like Internship is the story with the least overall Nu'est members so like - troll but still it has Dongho so it counts okay!)
> 
> B) IT'S DOUBLE YOU CONCERT IN SEOUL FOR NUBLE 
> 
> C) WANNA ONE HAS A NEW MV/ALBUM COMING OUT OMGOMGOMGOMGOG
> 
> Also - I have a twitter :D! if you want to talk to me or yell at me - or just - be cool? (LIKE GUANLIN - get it? omg stop lilli stop it's late - you need to stop) (fyi: the twitter is [lillith_evans](https://twitter.com/lillith_evans))


	10. The Love You Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have legitimately had so much fun writing this chapter.  
> I really hope all of you enjoy it just as much <3

 

“That was great Guanlin! Let’s do it one more time but just drop your pitch a little? I’m going to try to layer over the synth and then we’ll all listen to it together and make sure you tell me your thoughts on it, okay?”

“Okay!”

Of course, everything is okay with Lai Guanlin. All Lai Guanlin wants to do is - 

“Daehwi – can you set it up please?” Right, he has a job to do that probably doesn’t involve bitching the talent out in his mind.

Daehwi looks to where Dongho has started ordering Guanlin around again but with a surprising amount of professionalism for a rookie – Guanlin just takes it in his stride, nodding and offering insights of his own.

God, does Lai Guanlin have to be so darn likable?

The past three days have been – a lot of that. Dongho bossing Guanlin around, Guanlin delivering note after note as expected of him.

In all honesty, this recording exercise should have already been done but -

Dongho is rusty working with actual singers. It shows. In fact, Daehwi practically cringes every time he sees Dongho second guess his instincts, he’s constantly playing and tweaking with the flow of the song never satisfied by anything (Hell, he even tried to change the lyrics until Daehwi reminded him that Sungjae probably wouldn’t appreciate that happening without some sort of warning delivered to CUBE).

But it’s not just Dongho being indecisive that makes this recording such a painful experience.

It’s the fact that Dongho likes Guanlin. A lot. In fact, Daehwi’s not sure he’s ever seen someone get along with Dongho as easily as Guanlin does. Apparently they were both soccer super stars in high school with a penchant for music that their parents denied for a long time and they both speak Chinese –

So that leaves him and Seonho sitting here looking at the two of them like idiots most of the time.

Then there’s the fact that Lai Guanlin must have set some kind of record for the most pick-up lines said in 48 hours. Guanlin hits on Dongho so much Daehwi’s shocked Dongho hasn’t actually noticed.

But of course, he has noticed because right after Guanlin says something he looks to him like he’s challenging him to do something about it. What that something is – Daehwi can’t figure it out so he stays fixed in his chair just staring at Guanlin and Dongho laughing into each other’s ears.

Yesterday, at one point, Guanlin even kissed Dongho on the cheek – and that stupid idiot boss of his just pushed him off giggling like a baby.

And of course, Daehwi did nothing. He just sat there. Astounded that there are people in this world that are denser than rocks.

Or maybe it’s just because it’s Guanlin – because Daehwi’s sure if he tried something like that Dongho would throw him half way across the room avoiding him.

At the kiss, Seonho looked a bit pissed too actually, probably because he likes it when he’s the center of attention.

Dongho’s hand touches his shoulders and he jumps up in his seat.  “He’s doing really good, huh?”

“What?”

“Guanlin- he’s doing good.” Yeah, Guanlin is doing really well, for a rapper. Lai Guanlin’s  natural range is a really nice Bass-Baritone stretch that works seamlessly with Dongho’s ‘ _Fade’_ but fuck if he’s complimenting the other boy. Especially not to Dongho.

He’s a possessive nut and someone else getting compliments from his boss? Apparently that’s one of those things that he’s going to be possessive about and it’s totally healthy and normal –

Okay maybe not but he’s still not going to say anything nice about Guanlin. Instead, he’s just going to look away from his boss’s insistent face, right back at his computer screen and pretend Dongho never asked him anything at all.

Of course, Dongho doesn’t get the message given he has years of experience at being bad at reading situations. “I think he might have a better vocal range than you Daehwi –“

“Excuse YOU-” His cold voice silences Dongho in an instant. He can keep his mouth shut when Dongho and Guanlin get into their little singer/producer banter. He can keep his mouth shut as Dongho just sits there and accepts kisses from absolute strangers BUT – “The one and only time you had the **_very_** lucky chance to hear me sing was when I was drunk, my friend and you know what? My god chords were not primed to sing on your ghetto little karaoke machine and you made me sing ‘ _My Heart Will Go On’_. Like please – everyone knows Celine Dion is a fucking seal whose tone is so amazing it just can’t be replicated that’s why she gets the big bucks in Vegas – so how the hell do you know how well I sing?”

He said all that in one breath, oh god he’s struggling to breathe. Breathe, Daehwi. Breathe, you idiot you look like a bigger fool than you are.  “Uh Daehwi –“ Seonho asks hesitantly. “Bro, you okay?”

What kind of fucking question is that?  Of course, he’s fine! Doesn’t he SOUND fine? “I’m fine.”

“Cool then, uh, do you mind explaining why you and Dongho were drunk in his apartment together?” Oh. Shit. “Why wasn’t I invited?” Damn you baby chick genius with ridiculously high levels of FOMO.

Dongho groans, an unsaid ‘ _Fuck’_ materializing in the air around them.

Guanlin, bless his soul, rests oblivious to their present disaster. Ever diligent, their rapper continues to sing on the other end of the glass wall, eyes closed as he reaches for the mic with all the swagger of a true performer.

Daehwi pulls his phone out to record the video. After all, this is lucrative pre-debut-Guanlin-content. He can sell this to one of his million rich fan girls one day for a pretty penny.

“It’s not a big deal Seonho – you can come over if you want - Daehwi – what are you doing recording Guanlin? Learning something?”

“I’m not doing anything!” Damn it, he got caught. “Poor kid’s been singing by himself and the mic’s not even on – we should get him to repeat.” The frigidity in his voice doesn’t go unmissed as he turns to the soundboard to flick the switch for the mic. “By the way, I don’t need to learn how to sing from Lai Guanlin the ‘rapper’ – weren’t you listening before? I know how to sing -”

There’s a smirk touching Dongho’s face now. “That’s not how I remember it – I believe you just made excuses about how your tone doesn’t match Celine’s because she’s a godly seal?”

“Coming from the person that hogged the mic all night because he wants to sing his own songs -” He bites his tongue as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

Shit.

He shouldn’t have said that – that’s kind of mean in light of how Dongho’s past has affected his entire career right now.

His boss is probably going to have an emotional breakdown – shit – correct yourself Daehwi – “Look I mean-“

“You’re right.”

Instead of being faced with the sight of a mentally unstable Kang Dongho, his boss is just leaning on his palm, looking right at him with an expression so relaxed that it unnerves him. “I am?”

“You are.” Dongho agrees, knees pulling forward until they’re a little too close with Dongho’s voice a little too low and Daehwi’s mind a little too active. “Prove it.”

Wait - what is he proving? With Dongho this close he’s having a little difficulty remembering what it is they’re talking about -

He tries to keep his face steady which is pretty hard to do when Dongho’s words keep punching literal holes inside his body. But Dongho just backs up off him like he’s won some sort of award in his silence. “Sorry Guanlin buddy, we didn’t get that perfect but it’s our fault. Can we try that again?”

“We can try whatever you want hyung – whenever and however you want it.” Daehwi crashes his head into the soundboard but his anguish goes unnoticed.

Guanlin gives Dongho a thumbs up which Dongho quickly returns with a wide smile.

A smile floats onto Guanlin’s face –

And the smile on Dongho’s face starts to birth itself into a laugh–

And now Daehwi has to hear Guanlin laugh back.

OH. PROVE IT. Dongho wants him to prove he can sing? Fine, he’ll show him right here, right now so he doesn’t have to look at this weird foreplay –

 _“_ CAN’T READ MY – CAN’T READ MY –“ He’s shrieking but at least Dongho and Guanlin are no longer making stupid lovey dovey eyes at each other instead they’re both looking at him like he’s gone mad. “POKER FACE!”

“What the –“ Dongho pulls his headphones on his head before he speaks again. No doubt in case Daehwi starts to sing like a banshee straight at him again. “What the fuck was that?!”

“High notes à la Hwi?”

Dongho bursts out laughing. “You proved it alright, you proved I was right – you're a better producer than you are a singer man - let it go - “

“It’s the wrong song!” He pouts kicking at the CUBE desk. "It's the acoustics in this room!"

Thankfully for his bruised ego, he has Seonho. “I didn’t think it was that bad! You sing really well Daehwi! Dongho hyung’s just being difficult!” That was not as good as it should have been but Seonho is a nice kid. “CUBE should sign you.”

Dongho snorts.

Daehwi whacks Dongho’s shoulder. “I wasn’t trying that hard-“

Dongho whacks him back just as easily. “Try harder then.”

“To piss you off? Too easy.” Daehwi pinches the corner of where his right shoulder and neck meet.

“Why are you such a pain?” Dongho squeals and uses his chair to butt him. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“Save the country in a past life?” Laughs spill forth easily from him when Dongho practically topples right into him and Daehwi grabs the should-be-stronger-than-him-man’s shoulders to lift him up. “Yo, old man - you okay? I think I’m beating you at this-”

“Fuck off Daehwi.” Dongho’s a mess of giggles too. He doesn’t respond but he does use their position to slam his chair back into him and Daehwi growls as he grips on harder and pushes back.

“What are you guys doing?” Oh, Guanlin’s out of the room – when did that happen? “Hyung –“ Guanlin’s not saying it particularly flirty but the word ‘Hyung’ always makes Dongho’s eyes sparkly. Daehwi drops his hands back down and distances himself from Dongho. Fucking hell Lee Daehwi, what are you trying to do, anyways? “I think I’m tired – can we wrap this up? I have choreo later too -”

 “Yeah I agree, can we go?” Dongho looks caught off guard by his sudden cold response but honestly what does he expect? “I’d like to go home – I have a thing with a friend later.” He’s on his feet with his bag packed in seconds.

“Uh, did I say we could go? It’s not even 4:00 yet. I’m assuming you’re not meeting this person in like the next 30 minutes, right? Or do you usually plan all your events during work hours?” Dongho gets up and shoves his shoulders back down in the chair.

“Fine.” Daehwi throws his bag back against the floor and turns away to look at the soundboard.

He doesn’t miss the warning in Dongho’s eyes that he should behave a little more appropriately in front of Guanlin and Seonho.

Whatever. Dongho should take his own fucking advice – so what if he doesn’t want to stick around and watch Dongho flirt with Guanlin? He doesn’t need to embarrass him like that either -

For the next thirty minutes, they work.

And by work, he means Dongho bosses him around, he keeps his mouth shut and does everything and Guanlin and Seonho give each other tensed looks that say they’d rather be anywhere but here.

He knows he’s being overly jealous. It’s always been his biggest flaw but just because he knows it’s his flaw – it doesn’t mean he can stop himself.

Dongho and Guanlin should be allowed to get close to each other. It’s not even a bad thing – their natural harmony as producer/singer shows in the quality of the song.

But do they have to become so **_incredibly_** close to each other?

‘ _Fade_ ’ feels like it was written for Lai Guanlin and Daehwi knows Dongho feels the same way because Dongho is so impressed with him. Hell, even Daehwi’s impressed with Guanlin. There’s just something about the dark, sauntering way that Guanlin sings this song leaves everyone who watches him a little breathless.

Guanlin’s going to be a star. Fade’s going to get him there and Dongho’s allowed to be proud.

So – Daehwi’s not sure why any of that disturbs him at all because it shouldn’t. It shouldn’t feel this ‘difficult’.

He’s a professional, an intern, and he should just keep his head down, do his work and go home happy he’s made a money song.

Maybe he finds it hard because Dongho smiles so much nowadays. In fact, Dongho looks happy and Guanlin is the one who has made him happy because Guanlin is the one who is doing his song justice.

Or maybe he finds it hard because Guanlin’s cheeks colour red when Dongho’s praising him and he hates that he understands all too well what it means to get praise from Dongho.

Or maybe it’s the fact that the two of them are already talking about future projects together or –

Or maybe it’s something else entirely.

Guanlin’s trying to slip out but Dongho catches him anyways. “Are you heading to the choreographers, now?”

“Yeah – I have to practice a bit more because my movements could be a little more fluid before we go shoot the music video. Have you had a chance to see the choreography yet?” Dongho throws Guanlin a water bottle which the other boy catches with ease.  “Thanks, hyung.”

“Ah - since I’m not really permanent staff here I’m not sure whose working on the choreo or what it looks like – but why don’t you send me your practice video later today?” Dongho scribbles down his number on a post-it.

Guanlin looks happy that this number has landed in his lap with absolutely zero effort. “Thanks, hyung.”

Wait –

Wait –

HE HAD TO STAY HERE AND SEE THIS?

Honestly, is he the cock-blocker here?

 “No worries.” Dongho shrugs it off like it’s no big deal but it is a ** _big deal._** He doesn’t have Dongho’s number.

Seonho, as always, is all confidence as he runs to Guanlin with his phone. “Here’s mine, Guanlin! I want to see it too! I’m sure you’ll look really cool!”

Daehwi feels the ball in his throat grow larger. Should he offer his phone up?

But he doesn’t really want Guanlin’s number…he wants Dongho’s number.

God – this is pathetic. It’s not like he **_actually_** wants Dongho’s number, right?

After all, they’re not dating – they’re not in school together – it’s not like anything between them is real – hell Dongho doesn’t even give a fucking shit about him –

“Daehwi –“

“WHAT?”

Dongho looks at him pointedly, hand held out for his phone.

Oh.

Really?

That easy?

He’s taken too long to respond. Dongho rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his.

Oh wow, wait – are they holding hands?

No – no of course not – Dongho has laced his fingers through his though and Daehwi watches fascinated by the way their hands look together, Dongho’s hands are actually a shade smaller than his, something he wouldn’t have necessarily thought right away –

Oh and now Dongho’s snatched his phone and thrown it into the air, catching it like he’s catching a homerun on the Jamsil stadium baseball diamond.

Wow, that was smooth.

He’s never had someone literally flick his phone into their hands.

Why don’t more people do that? It looked so good – wait does Dongho play baseball?

No wait – the more important question did he just get turned on by a man throwing his phone in the air?

No – no – not turned on –just- admiring – in a very questionable manner - “Guanlin what’s your number?” Dongho asks.

“2-312-2789” Guanlin’s phone starts ringing and Daehwi’s phone is thrown back in his hands as Dongho smiles thin and flat, straight at him. “I guess – I’ll send the video to all three of you?” Daehwi doesn’t miss the tone of disappointment in Guanlin’s tone.

“Yes – please make a group chat for all of us. Great work today, everyone.”

“Can we leave now?” Daehwi grumbles, back on his feet the instant Dongho throws a nod his way. “Good job today, Guanlin. Seonho you’re cute –“

“I think you’re cute too, Daehwi.” Daehwi blows a kiss at his fellow intern before he turns his attention to Dongho staring at him for all of a millisecond.

No fuck it, that asshole doesn’t deserve a good bye.

He’s just about to twist the door open when he hears Dongho speak up. “Love you too!”

And now his body has shut down. Did he just - “Did you just say you love me?”

Dongho’s presently laughing face turns bright red as he laughs quicker, breathier giggles. “Please I said it in English – I mean – people say that all the time in English –“

“Wow, hyung.” Guanlin looks at Dongho, impressed. “Too obvious.”

Seonho throws his arms over Dongho’s shoulders, ready to tease him mercilessly into becoming a member of the tomato clan. “Hyung, tell me you love me too – “

Alone, Dongho’s used to teasing him like this but in front of everyone else - it’s suddenly become more than just a few words said to incite a reaction out of him.

“I didn’t tell Daehwi I LOVED him –“ Dongho’s looking at him for a life raft but how is he supposed to save Dongho from drowning in this situation when he’s drowning in the sound of those three words echoing in his mind? “It’s just a joke – don’t people from America say shit like that all the time, Daehwi? Help me out here – aren’t you from the States?”

Actually, yes, Dongho’s not entirely wrong. Some people do say that all the time – and he should be used to something like this because he always tells Somi how much he loves her but –

Somi isn’t Dongho. “Yeah, whatever! Bye!” He slams the door shut, running as fast as he can out of the CUBE building with a hand over his chest as he tries his best to keep the muscle from dying on him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck-

FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

 

 

 

 

“Feel the smooth wood in your hand. This piece of wood – it’s an extension of you. It’s what connects you to me. Together, let’s use the wood to let your frustrations out – just let it all out guys. That’s what tonight is about – it’s you and it’s me and this stick –“

Daehwi coughs as he looks around for someone else who feels as uncomfortable as he does but everyone else is diligently painting away.

Honestly, if Hyeongsub’s friend replaced ‘ _stick_ ’ with ‘ _dick_ ’ would anyone notice? “Hyeongsub – your friend knows that he sounds like he’s dictating some sort of weird hypnosis porno right now, right?”

He’s still not sure how he got roped into this.

Actually part of it he can explain -  he was the one who asked Hyeongsub and Woojin if he could crash their plans.

But it doesn’t explain why he’s sitting in between Woojin and Hyeongsub who both insisted that he wear nice clothes to a ‘Paint Night’ with the LifeSci kids at their shitty little student center.

Oh well. At least, this ‘Paint Night’ has wine. 

_Love you too_

Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Drink up, Lee Daehwi. You have a lot to forget today.

“DAEHWI!” Hyeongsub shrieks equal parts mortified and impressed that Daehwi’s brain is a cesspool of things that will get him sent to hell. “He’s talking about your brush – not about – you know – “

Oh, wow. Hyeongsub can’t say the word penis out loud – that must make life in the bedroom difficult.

When he turns to give Woojin a look, Woojin drops his head on the 1000 won table cloth covering up the discounted prison furniture the school’s afraid ‘Paint Night’ will damage. “Don’t you dare Lee-”

“Hey - I’m not saying anything at all – Hyeongsub’s friend is the one who’s being nasty about the brush. The ‘wood’? Put some ice on it dude - I’m just here to paint and ‘let out my frustrations’ in a healthy way!” Even though he’s making fun of Hyeongsub’s friend – Hyeongsub himself is laughing at his joke.

Woojin’s the real ‘stick’ in the mud (pun intended).

Daehwi turns back to his canvas. This Sakura flower scene is way too cliché to be painting but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like how his was turning out because he definitely hasn't been following any instructions. For example – every time Hyeongsub’s friend said –‘ _dip your stick in white_ ’ – he dipped it in black.

And now he has this super dark, creepy Sakura scene coming out right at him. It’s fucking great.

“OKAY – Everyone. Now that we have the basic pieces of the sky and water together – let’s dip our wood in the white and try to create some clouds – don’t be scared to get a little ‘happy’ with it!”

“Okay  I’m sorry – but – “ He looks at Woojin. “This guy legitimately said ‘Get ‘happy’ with wood?’ Boy is nasty.”

 “The only thing nasty in Student Center today is you.” Woojin rolls his eyes.

 “I disagree – they haven’t closed the Subway yet and I’ve seen some things there Woojin. Things you don’t want to know about –“

“I love the 5000 won footlongs.” Hyeongsub pouts.

Daehwi pats him comfortingly on his shoulder. “Hyeongsub-ah, prelim research shows that side effects from eating Student Centre food will only show up 10 -15 years from first consumption date. You have some time.”

“Ew.” Hyeongsub looks even more depressed.

When Daehwi turns to their instructor again – he bursts out laughing as he watches the tiny little thing jump and down around his canvas. To his credit, even if he looks like a fool, his painting is the best one here. “Is your friend always this intense? Isn’t he a Science Student? Why is he hosting a paint night for the science association?”

Hyeongsub is very willing to offer useless information that absolutely doesn’t matter to him but Daehwi listens because this mindless drivel is entertaining to hear as he pretends to be Salvador Dali. “He needs the curriculars for his medschool application, plus Euiwoong’s very passionate about painting. He wanted to switch into the arts program here but, you know, parents. Plus, I think he found out that he flunked his neurochemistry final today so – he’s a little bit on edge.”

“Oh – boohoo - cry me a river.”

Hyeongsub is giving Woojin a look like he’s asking his boyfriend how they get his best friend to stop talking but Woojin’s just turns back to his canvas.

Smart kid, that Park Woojin.

Daehwi’s just about to clean his brush and start working on his depressing clouds when a hand stops him. “Excuse me!”

Oh – it’s that instructor Ui-something- oh he kind of has nice eyes this close-up - “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you but you were about to put your brush into your wine. Can’t have that, can we?”

“I think it’s more economical.” He pulls his hand back and looks at his painting. “If I have a painting I can drink – I mean.”

He’s joking but Ui-something doesn’t get it because he’s not laughing. Oh well, not everyone can have a great sense of humor. “Are you Woojin’s friend?”

“I wouldn’t call us ‘friends’-“ Woojin kicks him under the table making him spill the cup full of water and paint on the instructor’s apron. “Oh I’m sorry –“

“No – no – it’s fine –“ He laughs, shaking himself off. In some ways, it’s admirable that Hyeongsub’s friend is cool enough that he doesn’t care about things like that – but it’s also annoying that drops of coloured water are flying straight onto him instead. “Glad, you could join us today. The Science Association is always looking to meet people from other streams, what’s your name?”

He’s just about to answer when Hyeongsub speaks for him. “Daehwi! Such a cute name, right Euiwoong-ah?”

Hyeongsub has both of his hands on his shoulders, pushing him forward like he’s some sort of offering on a platter. Daehwi growls, pushing himself back into Hyeongsub but Hyeongsub keeps pushing him forward. “HYEONGSUB!”

“What?!”

“You’re going to push me off my chair!”

“Oh – sorry! Just – you know – so excited to have you guys meet finally!” Why? Why would that be exciting?

Thankfully, Euiwoong is a lot more normal than his friend. “What’s your major, Daehwi?”

Once again, Hyeongsub answers for him. “He’s a music major. VERY talented Euiwoong-ah! Daehwi writes songs and stuff!”

And stuff…is that how his work has been described to Hyeongsub?

This time, Woojin makes a point of looking at him apologetically. It’s fine –whatever. It is just songs and stuff to people who don’t care.

“Yeah?” Euiwoong looks impressed.

That’s nothing to be impressed about. Music majors make shit money. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You don’t talk a lot, huh?” What kind of question is that?

Firstly, it’s fucking rude. Secondly, of course he’s not talking a lot – he barely knows the guy. “I guess.”

He’s not trying to be funny with that response but it must come off funny because Euiwoong is laughing and Hyeongsub is laughing and Woojin is just looking straight at his canvas trying to avoid whatever is going down right now.

Euiwoong pulls up a chair to squeeze into their already cramped table.

Great, now, he has to paint with the instructor watching over his back, exactly what he signed up for.

All he’d wanted was a stress free night where he could complain to Woojin about Dongho and Guanlin and Seonho because getting laid is not an option since he’s only really been with –

Well, he’s not going to think about that.

The real question here is – what the fuck kind of sideshow has he got himself involved in?

“You’re doing this wrong by the way-“ Euiwoong grabs his brush out of his hand.

Without his permission.“Earlier you said there’s no ‘wrong’ way of doing things?”

“That’s just what we tell the underachievers. There’s always a right way to do things.” Euiwoong in his quest for perfection digs his beautiful piece of ‘wood’ into the white paint. Daehwi feels himself whimper when Euiwoong’s hands artfully turn his dark blue sky into - “There we go! Happier! Cherry blossom scenes should look lively – hopeful-“

“It was supposed to be ‘Cherry Blossoms: A Horror Story’.” He growls reaching back for the brush to dip it into red paint and smear the sky again.

Euiwoong looks a bit scared.

Hyeongsub laughs nervously. “Daehwi had a tough day at work, Euiwoong-ah.”

“You’re working?! My friend’s ex was a music major and he said that his boyfriend was having such a meltdown because he signed up for a lot of extracurriculars to look like a good candidate for the programs –“ That sounds about right, second year had basically been the year of insomnia for him too. He probably knows Euiwoong’s friend’s ex – huh what a small world Yonsei is. “Good for you for landing an internship! They’re really competitive.”

“I guess.” Euiwoong’s laughing again. He’s nice enough but Euiwoong really needs to check his sense of humor because Daehwi isn't even trying to be funny – what the fuck is this character laughing at?

As the conversation lulls into silence, Hyeongsub takes it upon himself to resuscitate it. “It’s a good opportunity but Daehwi’s boss gives him a hard time-”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s fine. My internship is going great. Move on, please.” They don’t need to go out airing his dirty laundry in front of this absolute stranger.

“Sure, he does – I mean – what kind of boss is he? I mean he kissed you-“  Daehwi screams.

The room quiets. Hyeongsub included. Thank god, he thought the guy would never shut up. “Move on, please.”

Woojin looks back to his painting so he can hide himself from the mess that is this conversation. Probably a smart decision given he doesn’t want to piss off his best friend or the guy he’s sleeping with.

“So your boss kissed you –“ Euiwoong questions.

Great, they’re not letting this go. He’s literally screamed at the top of his lungs and they’re not letting this go –

_Love you too!_

He hates his brain. He really really hates his brain. This is the wrong time to remind him of – ** _that_**.  “My boss just – drives me crazy.”

Really Really Crazy. For god’s sake, he’s just screamed in the middle of ‘Paint Night’ scaring science nerds shaving years off their already sad lives.

He needs to deal with this. He needs to deal with whatever it is Dongho’s making him go through. This isn’t healthy. He can’t keep living like this.

“I feel you.” Euiwoong is doing that little bobbly bobble head nod that makes him look like he’d look great on any SUV. “Hey Daehwi –“

“I mean – you won’t believe what he did today.”

“I won’t?”

“You won’t.” Where does he start? With the chair stuff? The Guanlin stuff? The fact that Dongho made a ‘ _joke_ ’ today that didn’t feel like a ‘ _joke_ ’? “He threw my phone in the air.”

“He threw your phone in the air? Why?”

“Cause he’s a freak.”

“Oh. Is your phone okay?”

“Yeah, I guess.” His phone is fine, sure, but who cares about his phone?

He could fix a broken screen. He could fix a broken headphone jack –

You know what he can’t fix?

HIS BRAIN. HIS BRAIN that has the power to slow mo the action of Dongho throwing said phone like a freaking pro baseball player in his mind.

Like right now, his brain has totally thwarted his efforts to calm himself down and decided to screen him a private movie.

He gets to see a close up of the lines in Dongho’s forearm as they manipulate his fingers. The scene cuts and he gets to see the way Dongho bites his teeth into his lips as he looks at his iPhone 6 like its gold from a national treasure. The scene cuts again and Daehwi’s in the shot now. This time Dongho throws the phone away into the garbage, jumping straight onto his chair, pushing it all the way back up against the wall and Daehwi feels the prickles of Dongho’s five o’clock shadow in his palms as Dongho whispers the same words against his lips time and time and time-

 “Hey – wait – you’re the guy who was dating Jinyoung!”

Euiwoong’s sudden exclamation has his brain shut down his private fantasy in an instant. “What?”

“Hyeongsub! I said emotionally available guys! Not crazy pots who start yelling at our friend in _Closet_ for fuck’s sake-”

“Daehwi’s emotionally available!” Hyeongsub argues. “And Woojin told me more about that – you’re not going to believe –“ He bites his lips as he looks towards Daehwi apologetically. “I’m on your side by the way.”

“Thanks?” He’s not thankful at all, Park Woojin should be scared for his life. Also he’s not emotionally available - he’s sitting here fantasizing about his boss saying _I love you_ , not as a joke, into his lips – emotionally available people would not do that. “By the way, I never said I’m emotionally available- I’m only physically available, everyone knows that.” A light bulb goes off in his head. “Wait – what the fuck? YOU SET ME UP WITH STICK MAN?! WITHOUT TELLING ME?” The object of his present wrath, Park Woojin, looks like he’s torn between ducking under table cloth and running right out of Student Center. “Fucking hell, Woojin, seriously?”

“IT WAS HIS IDEA! BLAME AHN HYEONGSUB!” Woojin points an accusing finger at his boyfriend who gasps dramatically at Woojin’s instant betrayal.

THIS is the good tea he signed up for. Sip. Sip. Sip!

“Excuse you! You thought it was a good idea, you fucking cub!” Oh – that was new – Hyeongsub must be getting comfortable with them if he’s starting to use words like that. Daehwi’s actually kind of impressed. “Don’t look so impressed Daehwi – I know words.”

“I know you know words. You just didn’t say the word penis before and I was like – oh wow – Hyeongsub’s a prude but- good for you! I’m just happy you know how to use the word ‘cub’!” Hyeongsub doesn’t look impressed but that doesn’t matter. “Anyways – why would the two of us work well together?” He points between Euiwoong and himself. This hot mess is entertaining. He needs to see Woojin and Hyeongsub fight more. “Did you guys make a BuzzFeed quiz of all of Hyeongsub’s friends and then pretend to answer like I would and out popped ‘ _Mr.I-Know-How-to-Work-A-Stick_ ’-“

“Okay why does he keep referring to me as Mr.Stick?” He laughs at Euiwoong who still looks lost. Honestly, someone needs to tell him he should stop saying the words ‘stick’ and ‘wood’, paintbrush is perfectly fine.

But on that thought -

He closes his eyes again, an unwilling smile coming on his face.

Dongho works a stick shift. On his car.

Actually, Dongho looks good driving his car.

Really good-

What if instead of leaning over to put his seat belt on – one day Dongho could just lean over to smother him to the side of the window and use that stupidly thick bottom lip to -

“Daehwi – DAEHWI!” Woojin knocks him over the head with his ‘stick’. “Where were you?”

“In a wonderland far far away?” He’d like to go back to there but he is in public having a conversation with three other boys.  He would like to not develop physical evidence of what kind of rabbit hole he’d like to go down.

“Daehwi –“ Woojin looks at him laughing.

“Looks like he’s a little physically unavailable too.” Euiwoong is teasing him.

“We –“ He throws him a look that would send a less prideful boy running for his life. “Aren’t close enough for that.”

“Not yet.” Euiwoong scoffs back, confidence dripping from his voice. It catches him off guard as he finds himself glancing around for someone who understands what just happened.

His silence is indication of some kind of win because Woojin lets out a breath of relief. “We did it Hyeongsub - thirsty met thirstier.”

“Which one’s thirstier?” Hyeongsub looks baffled as he glances between the two increasingly miffed friends between the couple.

“Daehwi, obviously.”

Woojin gets another kick from under the table.

This one makes him ruin his cherry blossom painting with a deep streak of black running straight through which immediately makes  Euiwoong scream in horror as he stands to his feet. “Daehwi – you’re a monster! Woojin messed his entire canvas up!”

“He deserves it.” He pats the poor traumatized painter’s hip. He would bother to stand up but he’s lazy and he still has to finish his own painting. “Anyways, nice meeting you!”

“So – you’re not like – still with Jinyoung? Or Jihoon – I thought –“ Daehwi gives him a look that tells him to shut up.

He’s not in the mood to talk about Jinyoung. Or Jihoon. Or the fact that the three of them could be a thing. He’s not interested in having that discussion with anyone. Ever.  “Nope. Nice meeting you!”

“So – you’re alone, then?” That would appear to be the case if Euiwoong had actually been listening to their entire conversation. “Single?” Yes, Euiwoong, that is what being alone means, take an English class you big Science geek. “Painfully alone with no one to keep you company –“

Does Euiwoong have to keep repeating it? He’s starting to get depressed thinking about it.

He’s not used to being alone – not at school.

Like walking in here they’d passed the bus stop and Daehwi had been forced to remember how on regular Thursday nights, he’d stand there with Jinyoung, waiting for the shuttle to take them to the grocery store.

On particularly wintery nights, Jinyoung would scold him for forgetting his gloves and then grab his hands to blow hot air on them.

Daehwi would laugh and call him a whipped little piece of shit and Jinyoung would – “Yes. I am REALLY alone. Single. Any other definition of the word that you want to use! Nice meeting you!”

“So – can I get your number?” Daehwi makes a choked noise, turning to look at Euiwoong who stays calm, cool and collected as he asks this. Seriously? This was the worst set up – does Euiwoong think pursuing this is a good idea? “Promise I won’t throw your phone in the air if you give it to me right now- and if we do this again I won’t bring dumb and dumber along-”

“Oh my god, Woojin look! They’re making fun of us!” Hyeongsub coos at his still disinterested boyfriend, leaning over to grab his hand. “I hate them already!”

Daehwi sputters back a laugh, lips rolling into his mouth.

Euiwoong smiles and laughs back, this time the tiniest tinges of red kissing the tips of his ears.

Oh wow, Euiwoong actually likes him.

That feels kind of nice - the knowledge that someone likes him a little, even in this shammy set up way. 

And really what’s supposed to stop him from dating this guy for the fuck of it? Dongho?

Dongho and Guanlin are basically two songs away from making the studio their studio apartment together.

And Jinyoung?

Well, the knowledge that Euiwoong and Jinyoung must be friends of some sort – that just makes him want to talk to Euiwoong more. If Jinyoung can go around flaunting his relationship with Jihoon all over campus – Daehwi can date Jinyoung’s friend noncommittally. “Fine, that’s cool.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Euiwoong teases him as Daehwi gives his phone up to the other boy.

He tries to make sure he looks extra cool, desirable and like he does not give a single fuck what is going down. It must be working because Euiwoong is looking at him like he’s a tall drink of water -

“And they both lived happily ever after.”

He kicks Woojin under the table again.

 

 

 

Later that night, in bed, he can’t help but feel like he’s made a horrible mistake because Euiwoong is supposed to be Euiwoong but – he keeps seeing other people in him. In his small face, his pale skin, his sparkling eyes and confident gaze –

That doesn’t feel like happily ever after at all.

Happily ever after.

What a joke. Happily ever after doesn’t really exist. If it did, he’d be sleeping beside Jinyoung right now.

His phone buzzes to disrupt his depressing internal monologue and he’s unable to stop the smile from spreading on his face when he sees Guanlin in a thumbnail jumping in the air.

Okay – he may hate Lai Guanlin – but it’s also undeniable that Lai Guanlin is hardworking, kind, and sweet.

Plus based off this video – he’s an excellent dancer. Daehwi’s just about to type that when another message pops up on the conversation.

 

 **ILoveYoo:** _GUANLIN YOU’RE DOING SO GREAT. I LOVE IT. CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW TO DAB LIKE THAT?_

 

_AllIdoislinlinlin has sent a video_

 

Daehwi opens it up to see that Guanlin has sent a tutorial to show Seonho just how to dab. Did people need tutorials to learn how to dab? It’s like the easiest dance move in the world -

 

_ILoveYoo has sent a video._

 

As expected, it’s Seonho in the middle of his fairly opulent living room trying his best to replicate the moves to similar success.

 

 **AllIdoislinlinlin:** clapclapclap

 **ILoveYoo:**  :) :) :)

 **Allidoislinlinlin:** :) :) :) :)

 **ILoveYoo:** <3

 

Whoa. Heart emoji? What is going on here Yoo Seonho?

Now he kind of feels like a voyeur but fuck it – he has such a shitty love life he might as well live vicariously through Seonho’s ballsy one.

 

 **dongho:** _Good job._

 

NO. NO. DON’T RUIN THIS FOR THEM YOU BIG IDIOT.

He quickly runs to the group chat profile to copy Dongho’s number and enter a private message to him.

 

 **MaguMagu:** _Leave them alone_

 

The response comes instantly.

 

 **dongho:** _Why?_

 **MaguMagu:** _Because Seonho likes you cock-blocker_

 

Okay, fuck that’s not what he meant to type.

 

 **Magumagu:** _Him*_

 **dongho:** _Seonho doesn’t like me?_

 **Magumagu:** _I KNOW THAT -  god – read the chat properly._

 **Magumagu:** _Seonho likes Guanlin_

 **dongho:** _You can tell all of that from a few emojis?_

 **MaguMagu:** _I have a minor in emoji decoding_

 **MaguMagu:** _Basically the top student in my class_

 

Will Dongho be able to tell that’s a joke?

Whatever, it’s not like it matters if Dongho can tell or not – he just has to stay out of the group chat so Seonho and Guanlin can flirt in peace without Big Brother staring at them.

He’s resolved to put his phone away and get to sleep but just as he’s ready to put it down he hears the beep come through and immediately he’s back to staring at the screen like a mad man on drugs.

 

 **dongho:** _The institution of education really has gone to shit since I was at it_

 

Of course it has, Dongho went to school in the Jurassic period.

 

 **MaguMagu:** _The world has changed senior citizen_

 **MaguMagu:** _Get with the times_

 **dongho:** _To think there was a time when I used those words against Aron – wow – it hurts hearing it back from you_

 

He gulps as he looks at the phone. It doesn’t mean anything but –

His eyes draw towards the last two words _‘From You’._

 

 **MaguMagu** : _karma’s a bitch :P_

 **dongho:** _what are you doing?_

 

Oh. Wow. Are they going to have a real conversation?

 

 **MaguMagu:** _trying to sleep_

 **dongho:** _something keeping you up?_

 

Daehwi laughs to himself as he wanders off to Dongho’s profile.

Dongho’s profile picture on KKT is a picture of him dressed in a blue suit beside a bride laughing his guts out. He feels something inside of him sing at the image. His boss looks nice all spiffed up like that.

He’d like to see him like that in person one day. Maybe at an award show or something – being recognized for his hard work.

That’d be nice.

 

 **MaguMagu:** _Just can’t sleep_

 **dongho:** _count to 10_

 **MaguMagu:** _why will you show up afterwards?_

 

As soon as the message is delivered, he hits his head against the screen of his phone.

He did not just type that. Fuck, Daehwi think a little before you say something. Dongho’s probably going to get freaked out and stop texting and –

 

 **dongho:** _no_

 **dongho:** _just seems like something you should try_

 

He turns over on his side, arms tucked under his head as he smiles at the screen.

 

 **MaguMagu:** _what are you doing?_

_dongho has sent a voice note._

 

Oh, wow they’re graduating to voice notes already?

Very Nah-ice.

He throws the covers over his head just as he pushes the play button fully expecting Dongho’s voice to start yelling at him to go to bed but instead -

He hears himself. Singing.

The song coats the walls of his makeshift cave, beats echoing behind his words, throwing him back into his memories of Jinyoung pressed beside him in this very bed.

 

 _‘_ _What you saw as chemistry, I saw as poetry._

_What you saw as compatibility I saw differently._

_All you have to say is think it over one more time – and all my heart has to say is kiss me one last time.”_

 

He doesn’t really know what to say. It’s been a while since they’ve worked on the song since they’re mostly working out of the CUBE offices lately – but – just hearing it again puts Jinyoung’s angry gaze back in his mind.

 

 **dongho:** _I guess in your own range – you’re pretty good_

 

The smile on his face stretches wider.

 

 **dongho:** _Full disclosure - I still think you’re a better producer than you are a singer_

 

Now his smile rivals the size and luminosity of the moon outside his window.

 

 **dongho:** _I mean that in a nice way_

 **dongho:** _Anyways_

 **dongho:** _I’m still playing with it but what’d you think?_

 

Dongho doesn’t have to hear all of what’s in his mind right now. He’s just honestly trying to make the song better, and from a technical perspective the beats and synths he’s layered on top don’t completely polarize him so he could just tell Dongho it was great or –

 

 **MaguMagu:** _It’s the perfect lullaby_

 **dongho:** _I tried an EDM spin on it_

 **dongho:** _it’s not supposed to be a lullaby_

 **MaguMagu:** _It’s the perfect lullaby_

 **dongho:** _You making fun of me? Saying my songs put you to sleep?_

 **MaguMagu:** _I said nothing of the sort_

 **MaguMagu:** _So sensitive_

 **dongho:** _So irritating_

 

Oh, he’s irritating? HE’S IRRITATING?

 

 **MaguMagu:** _love you too!_

 

The response doesn’t come right away, understandably.

Dongho is probably in the middle of yelling at his phone screen that he didn’t mean it that way and it’s completely unfair and –

 

 **dongho:** _Go to sleep_

 

Of course, he’d totally ignore it.

Well, cities aren’t built in a day.

 

 **MaguMagu:** _k gnight_

 

He feels himself bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing as his fingers speed on his keyboard. Let him see if he can ignore this.

 

 **MaguMagu:** _love you like Justin loves Selena_

 **MaguMagu:** _love you like Samuel loves Somi_

 **MaguMagu:** _love you like Kanye loves himself_

 **MaguMagu:** _love you like I love your mom’s kimchi_

 **MaguMagu:** _love you like a love song baby_

 

He’s unable to stop the squeal of laughs leaving his lips as the door opens.

Oh fuck.

He jumps back in bed as soon as he sees Youngmin at the doorway rubbing the back of his head. “Daehwi- it’s late – go to bed.”

“Yes, sir.” He nods, phone kept to his chest so there’s no way for Youngmin to know why he was laughing so hard.

“AH – were you texting that guy Hyeongsub and Woojin were telling us about?”

“Sure.” He nods back, overly enthusiastic fake smile on his face. “He’s great.”

“Good, I’m glad – it’s not good to get involved with people from the workplace and I know something was going on with your boss and that’s too complicated, Daehwi.” Oh great, Youngmin is coming over to sit by his bed. “I’m worried about you-“

“Hyung, there’s nothing to worry about.” He pats him on his shoulders as he feels the phone by his chest vibrate against his heart, tingles of anticipation running up and down every cell  in his body.

It vibrates again.

And again.

And again.

Okay, maybe Youngmin has something to worry about.

“Well, you guys are getting along well.” Youngmin teases as he looks down at the phone and Daehwi pushes him backwards by his shoulders. “Relax – I’m not going to ask to see.”

“Thank you.” He lets out a sigh. “I swear – I’m going to bed now. Just – let me say good night.”

Youngmin doesn’t look like he believes him, but he goes back to the master bedroom he shares with Donghyun and Daehwi’s eyes immediately dash to the screen.

 

 **dongho:** _you know I was just like – joking right?_

 

Of course he knows that. It was mean of Dongho to even think of joking about it but then again – it’s not like Dongho really understands or knows the way he feels about him.

Hell, it’s not like Daehwi even knows how he feels himself –

Okay – maybe he knows how he feels but he’s not going to think about that right now.

That’s too depressing because he knows his conflicted feelings for Dongho will likely go nowhere.

It’s much more interesting to see Dongho have a mental breakdown on KKT.

 

 **dongho:** _you should respond so I know you know_

 **dongho:** _you are a sick bastard_

 **dongho:** _this is some messed up revenge Daehwi_

 **dongho:** _how much are you enjoying not responding to me right now?_

 **MaguMagu:** _sorry sorry drama queen_

 **MaguMagu:** _didn’t respond because my roommate walked in and it felt weird texting 'Love You!' to you in front of him_

 **dongho:** _it’s weird period_

 **dongho:** _not just because he’s there_

 

Rude. Dongho's the one who said Love you in the first place – why’s he so against getting it back?

 

 **MaguMagu:** _go to bed_

 **MaguMagu:** _or better still work on the song for us –_

 **dongho:** _you know I’m not like slave labour for you right ?_

 **dongho:** _you know that I have other things I could be doing?_

 **MaguMagu:**   _love you_

 **dongho:** _fuck off Daehwi_

 **MaguMagu:**   _love you_

 **dongho:** _I’m going to bed_

 **MaguMagu:** _l_ _ove you_

 **dongho:** _what is it going to take for you to stop saying that?_

 **MaguMagu:** _say it back_

 

There’s no way Dongho’s actually going to say it back – right?

He’s getting ready to read another fuck you when the message comes through, clear and bright on his screen.

 

 **dongho:**   _love you_

 **dongho:** _in a totally appropriate way_

 **dongho:** _the way that all amazing bosses love their useless irritating interns_

 **dongho:** _which is not at all_

 **dongho:** _creep_

 **dongho:** _gnight_

 **MaguMagu:** _love you <3_

 **dongho:** _did you have to add the heart this time?_

 **MaguMagu:** _love you <3 <3 <3 <3_

 **MaguMagu:** _ <3 <3 <3 <3_

_< 3 <3 <3 xoxoxo <3<3 <3 xoxoxoxo <3 <3 3_

_< 3 <3 <3 xoxoxo <3<3 <3 xoxoxoxo <3 <3 3_

 

Dongho stops responding after that, but just before sleep takes him away he catches sight of one last message.

 

 **dongho:** _stfu <3_

 

And Lee Daehwi has no option but to fall asleep with the widest smile anyone has ever seen on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the delay in this! I was focusing a bit on LI bc I'd really like to finish that story soon :) 
> 
> BUT good news is I got sick this week and ended up writing 3 chapters of Internship soooo - at least updates here will be a little more steady (hopefully that makes up for me neglecting Internship for a bit)
> 
> Once again - thank you all for the love you gave last chapter <3 Hopefully you all enjoyed hotmessHwi, overlyconfidentEuiwoongie, messyWoojinHyeongsub and obliviousidiot!Dongho


	11. The Ride - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the beginning of another saga style chapter - 
> 
> ps - edits happened really late at night and i did like two rounds and i honestly got very distracted (i'll talk more about that in endnotes)
> 
> so if it's shizzy - please forgive me (i wanted to keep the promise i made on twitter to say i would upload tonight <3)

He’s battled his way into CUBE’s offices, through watching Seonho do his best to do what Daehwi thinks is ‘flirting’ and  –

Now, it’s finally Friday.

This time last week he was sitting across a huffy puffy Dongho who couldn’t stop checking his phone. And today is going to be much of the same.

He wouldn’t even really care because he doesn’t give a shit how much Dongho checks or does not check his phone – that’s not his problem. What is his problem is Guanlin, their talent, who has had no experience or exposure to the emotionally constipated version of the senior producer. “Hyung – “

Unfortunately for him, Lai Guanlin doesn’t get to say much more than that because Dongho’s just waved a hand into his face. Ah – that’s Dongho’s usual wordless ‘ _please shut up_ ’ response. Understandably, the Taiwanese boy is disturbed because his perfect hyung who loves him so perfectly has never so perfectly dismissed him - 

Boo fucking hoo. 

That little gesture? That's Dongho being rather nice about asking Guanlin to fuck off. Daehwi would know. After all, he’s had Dongho behave far more impolitely with him -

Right, he promised himself this morning that he’d put a stop to the thought of Dongho in any bed for the near future at least. They have a recording to finish. “How are you feeling, Guanlin?”

Guanlin shrugs, mouth leaning closer to his ear like he’s about to whisper a grand secret. “I’m fine but - is Dongho hyung okay? He looks a little preoccupied, is he waiting for a text or something?”

Grand secret this is not – but it does provide Daehwi’s mind with an obese portion of food for thought. 

“Uh – I don’t know-“ But he does know.

When he turns to look at Dongho, he’s unsurprised to find that Kang Dongho has kept his gaze glued to his phone.

And so, on auto-pilot, Daehwi glances down at his own phone. Is there even a sliver of a prayer of a chance that – Dongho’s waiting for a text from him?

He turns to look at Guanlin who is still waiting for a response to Seonho who looks scared at being caught looking at Guanlin and then finally to Dongho again who, as usual, is lost in his a world of his own making.

Dongho most probably is not waiting for a text from him. Sure, did they text all night? Yes. Is their witty back and forth the stuff Hollywood movies are MADE of? Steve Harvey from Family Feud says that ‘Yes’ is the #1 answer on that board. And maybe – fine – he’s willing to admit that itch he’s been feeling all day in his fingers? That’s related to how he wants to text Dongho.

Because even though the other man is right beside him  –

Daehwi – don’t do it – do-

His heart has already overridden all the more logical commands coming out of his brain.

 **MaguMagu:** _Guanlin’s going to enter a Dongho-neglected-me-caused-coma if you don’t look at him in 3 seconds_

 **MaguMagu:** _FYI_

He’s doing Dongho a public service by texting him and this is not for personal benefit AT ALL – “What?” His message has roused Dongho from his phone induced slumber. “Guanlin’s not in a coma, the hell Daehwi -?” Dongho looks up at him and Daehwi tilts his head towards a presently half-dead but fully depressed Lai Guanlin. “Guanlin – ah – sorry let’s listen to the track one more time and then we’ll wrap up okay? It’s Friday so – let’s keep things light.”

Guanlin’s smile’s back up in a second. It’s that stupid gummy dummy one that has the effect of automatically spreading a smile on everyone’s face but his.  “Sure, hyung.”

Dongho looks at him, and Daehwi immediately defaults to Seonho. “Seonho, can you get the track set up?”

Ever efficient, Seonho rushes over straight to Guanlin to drop headphones on their singer’s shell-shocked head. “All done! Guanlin’s set up!”

Daehwi's about to yell at him when he sees something quite disturbing. Seonho is rubbing Guanlin’s ears through the headphones. What the - “Seonho – what are you doing?”

“You said get him set up? Guanlin’s set up – I’m just prepping his ears for sound – I heard blood flow helps so like I'm massaging them - getting the capillaries to open up for him, you know?” Seonho ducks his head, eyes placed right beside Guanlin’s oblivious smiley face. “You don’t mind do you, Guanlin?”

“Does it work?” Guanlin looks to Daehwi for confirmation of this. "The massage?"

“Of course it does!" Seonho doesn’t even give him a chance to respond, patting their singer on the shoulder with a nervous hand. “Would I ever lead you down the wrong path?"

And for some reason beyond his comprehension – Daehwi’s heart is easing up on Yoo Seonho’s stupidity because at least the boy has balls the size of a monster bull. “Seonho - I said get ‘the track’ set up.” Seonho’s hands are still massaging a confused Guanlin’s ears until Daehwi points towards the laptop. “You can let go of Guanlin now – I meant the song Seonho – the song?”

“Oh. OH. OH. I get it. Sorry! Doing that now!” He doesn’t sound sorry at all. If anything Yoo Seonho sounds like he’s consumed five shots of espresso.

Within minutes, they’re back in the swing of things with Dongho’s phone and Seonho’s odd behaviour forgotten. It looks like they’ll be well on their way to ending early too which is great for a Friday since he actually has plans that don’t involve drinking his liver into non-existence for once. He’s just about to text Euiwoong to ask if everything looks good on his end when Seonho pauses the song, effectively ruining their flow. “I think Guanlin sounds at 1:42 – there’s too much ambient sound and we should re-record the preceding seconds.”

Daehwi groans. Sure, Seonho’s saying a lot of technical sounding jibberish that sounds legitimate but Daehwi can see right through the chick producer’s efforts. Unfortunately – Guanlin is not that perceptive. “I sound weird?”

“You’re fine. Don’t stress.” Daehwi knows this because he’s the one who’ll clean up the ambient sound in post-pro but –

Yoo Seonho is just not giving up. “I think we should re-record it – definitely. Together, Guanlin.” Guanlin’s looking at him like he’s trusting every word out of Seonho’s mouth and it’s all Daehwi can do to not look at Dongho to ask him to shut up the yappy puppy who has invaded their safe space. “If it’s a question of time Daehwi – I think I can work alone on this with Guanlin?”

Okay – come on now – can the rest of them really not see right through this? The thirst level on this little fucker is sky high. “Seonho – this is fine. There’s no need to rework it.”

“Daehwi - there’s an echo on the back that’s not pitching right – like right there -“

Yes, Seonho’s cursor is pointing at the monitor right where there is an echo at the back of Guanlin’s voice that is technically part of the recording but – “I’ll take care of that in post-pro adjustments. Right, Dongho?”

Dongho looks between Seonho and him before nodding carefully in his direction. Well, at least someone trusts him over Seonho.

“So – I’m okay?” Guanlin’s cautious tone makes Daehwi smile.

“You’re okay, Guanlin. Yoo-ssi over there is just a little over-eager with no approved outlet for his passions except for you.” He throws Seonho a look warning him against a future stunt. Not only is he negatively affecting Guanlin’s confidence in the song – but it's unnecessary rework for all of them.

Besides, if Seonho wants to spend Friday night recording with Guanlin that badly - why doesn’t he just ask him out? When Daehwi looks back at Seonho, the other boy looks like he understands why Daehwi was upset with his outburst. “Sorry, Guanlin – didn’t mean to psych you out.”

“It’s all good.” Guanlin’s big gummy dummy smile is back up and Seonho’s face grows an equally gummy dummy smile. “I’m actually happy I have a team with me that’s so detail oriented – it’d be nice if I could understand what you guys talk about when you talk about this stuff though.” Guanlin’s adorable stupid expression has the power to make Seonho avoid his gaze and look down at his laptop in shame.

Good! He should feel bad for taking advantage of Guanlin's lack of knowledge. 

“Lee Daehwi.” Dongho calls out as Daehwi looks back to his boss, unsurprised and irritated to see the older man is back on his phone. “You are scary as fuck.”

Honestly – this idiot boss of his – why are they all even bothering with this sham of a session if he’s not going to pay attention? “I’m scarier for people who don’t put their phones away after being asked to.” Instantly, the phone is back in the pocket of his jeans. “Something important you’re waiting for, sir?”

“Shut up, Daehwi.” He most certainly will not shut up – he’s been running this session pretty much by himself. 

Thankfully, with no more of Seonho’s ill-timed interruptions – they get through the rest of the song. “You’re all done, Guanlin. We’ll send the song over to Sungjae once I'm done cleaning it up on the weekend – and that’s it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Dongho claps a hand on Guanlin’s back and though Guanlin’s taller, he’s obviously not stronger because his frame falls straight into the soundboard. “I’d be surprised if this doesn’t enter the charts. Your delivery was spot on and your diction is pretty good –“

Ah – this part. Dongho’s well catered self-esteem boost.

Daehwi pulls his new headphones over his ears.

He still doesn’t like the idea of Dongho complimenting someone else so openly around him but he knows Guanlin’s self-esteem took a hit when Seonho told him he sounded weird and  Guanlin’s worked very hard through the recording this week. Hell, he’s probably worked harder for years beyond what Daehwi knows and has been privy to seeing in this studio. 

And the person who helped him record his first song? Guanlin has all the rights in the universe to hear this unfiltered praise coming from him.

Guanlin and Dongho aren’t the problem here – he is. His overly possessive streak is what drove a wedge between Jinyoung and him and if he's not careful it'll find it's way into other parts of his life. “Thanks, hyung. Thank you for being patient with me and teaching me how these things work.” Even if Daehwi’s not going to interrupt him, Guanlin has taken this opportunity to pull Daehwi’s headphones off  his head, eyes winking in a motion that’s hidden from their senior producer behind him. “I’m glad I can say Kang Dongho was my first.”

The innuendo flies over Dongho’s head because he’s back on his phone. Daehwi snorts as he pushes Guanlin’s laughing shoulders away but Guanlin’s words have given Seonho liberty to say something equally ludicrous. “On that note, Guanlin, I’d really like it if I was your first – “

“WHAT?” Guanlin’s squeaking so loudly that it makes Daehwi laugh. “Be my first what?”

The word ‘first’ accompanied by Guanlin’s squeaky voice takes on all too wonderful connotations in Seonho’s presently red head. “Oh – oh! Nothing like that – just – uh –“ His fellow intern clears his throat before his hands tuck behind his back to  pull forth -  oh. shit.

The sound of cheap plastic moving from hand to hand silences everyone in the room. Daehwi’s eyes widen as he looks between a shell shocked Lai Guanlin and a flushed Yoo Seonho.

“You made me a physical?” Guanlin mumbles as he looks at the clear cut case and generic CD resting in his hands.

Daehwi looks between the three others in the room. Is no one going to take the opportunity to make a funny doctor worded joke about that? Come on – where’s a Donghyun when you need one – 

“Uh – no – I mean – I made me a physical CD of the demo.” Seonho pats his own back proudly, coughing, laughing and shrieking all at once now that Guanlin’s not actually looking at him just as a co-worker. He’s looking at him accusingly, like he’s not quite sure what Seonho could possibly have to gain from doing this for him. “I mean – if you want one, I can make it for you too.”

“No no – I mean – sure – uh – if you want I guess? Once Daehwi’s done cleaning it up?” Guanlin’s face is a stone wall as he blinks all too quickly like that’s the only expression he can really muster up as appropriate. He looks at Seonho with a face so blank that Daehwi feels bad for Seonho who has all but laid his heart out for everyone to feast on. Seonho must be bad at reading the situation though because he’s beaming like he’s won the Olympics. “Thanks, I guess. This is cool of you, Seonho.”

“Oh  - you don’t need to thank me.” Seonho shuffles on his feet, side to side like if he moves enough Guanlin won’t be able to pin him down with his gaze. “I mentioned it’s for me, right? I just want you to sign it – to me – I want to be your first – sign I guess?” What a car wreck. Seonho's following laugh is awkward – shifty and then to prove his request is true, he brandishes a thick black Sharpie from his back. “Can you write – ‘To-‘”

“Can I write the address myself?” Guanlin interrupts. “I think I have something I’d like to say for my first sign –“

“Sure – I guess. I mean it’s my CD – but FINE.” Daehwi does his best to muffle his laughs but he’s not doing a very good job of it if Dongho’s look of warning and Seonho’s pouty face are anything to go by.

Guanlin makes a crazy show of signing his first CD, a softer more bashful smile rising for Seonho as he hands the CD back to his first ‘fan’. “There.”

 “‘To-‘“ Seonho bursts out laughing, clapping his hands against the plastic case in his hands. “That’s genius.” Gaining a healthy dose of confidence from whatever Guanlin’s written him – Seonho winks straight at the other boy and blows him a kiss which Guanlin returns back –

Okay – what the – ?

What the hell did pervert Lai Guanlin write on that? Seonho may be irritating but he doesn’t deserve to be strung along by some creepy idol hopeful. “Yoo Seonho, give me that!”

“NO WAY DAEHWI - GET YOUR OWN LAI GUANLIN 1ST EDITION ‘FADE’ PHYSICAL – “ Seonho tries his best to pull it away but Daehwi’s fingers grip on strong and in fear of breaking his precious Lai Guanlin 1st Edition Fade Single – Daehwi finds the CD in his hands.

There lies the inscription.

In all it's beautiful bolded black glory -

 

‘ _To My Cheerleader –_

_Love You Too!_

_From: AllIDoislinlinlin_ ’.

 

“What does it say?” Dongho asks him, about to lean over his shoulder until Daehwi pulls the CD straight to his chest. 

“Nothing.” He hates everyone in this room. Especially Lai Guanlin who is smiling straight at him. Why is Guanlin such a shit stirrer?

“Daehwi –“

“Fine – fine – here.” He throws the CD into Dongho’s hands as the older man looks at it and goes the colour of a stop light in an instant. “You dug yourself a grave that’s too deep, man. Look at this shit you started –“

Dongho knocks his knuckles lightly into a laughing Guanlin’s temple. “To think I was starting to like you Guanlin –“

“Hyung!” Guanlin turns to Seonho to throw him a high five. “You should be proud and happy of how you feel. Daehwi deserves it. He’s mean, sure, but he’s very talented,” True. He is basically the best producer in this room. “He’s always looking out for you.” He is. Dongho should kiss the ground he walks on. “And I can tell he really likes you but you should be more affectionate with him - " WHAT THE FUCK LAI GUANLIN? WHAT THE FUCK – WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?

“HA HA HA!” Daehwi claps a hand over Guanlin’s mouth. “Shut the fuck up if you want to live," He adds in a much softer voice. Guanlin’s muffling words into his palms, most likely asking to not die. 

Fat chance.

“I wish someone felt that way about me.” Fuck, Daehwi forgot to cover the mouth of the other idiot in the room.

Okay, he has to shut down baby Guanlin and baby Seonho before they create a mess for him that he can't clean up. “Yoo Seonho, please wallow in your misery and self-doubt in your head like regular people –“

“Too real, Daehwi. Too real.” He’s not quite sure how Seonho’s done it – but he’s managed to worm his arms around Guanlin’s shoulders pulling him away from Daehwi’s deathly tight grasp.

When he turns back to Dongho he’s not surprised to see the other man is already looking at him but it's just for a second before he shakes his frame off like he's trying to shake off this whole conversation.  “Guanlin-ah, we’ll be at your press conference in a few weeks so - fighting! Make me proud, okay?” Dongho laughs fist up in the air doing his level best to distract them.

Of course, he’s not going to address what Guanlin said. Somehow Dongho ignoring Guanlin’s words entirely just makes all of this feel worse.

He puts his headphones on again but this time he makes sure he keeps the volume low enough that it’s easy for him to spy on the conversation.

“Guanlin – you’re going to be a star man. I can feel it in my bones!” Seonho probably feels a lot of things in his ‘bones’ - especially when it comes to Lai Guanlin.

Seonho's speech of encouragement is disrupted when Dongho’s phone rings and almost comically his boss lunges out of his chair to dash to the other end of the room. What Daehwi finds stranger still is how Dongho’s looking at his phone now, fingers hovering over the answer side of his screen until finally he drops his phone back to the desk, still ringing and comes back to his chair.

What the fuck was that?

“Hyung, after the press conference, would you be free to come to the after party?” Guanlin’s question catches everyone’s attention. “Actually, this is for all of you. Could you all come?” Guanlin bows his head towards him like he’s asking for his permission.

Now, Daehwi’s starting to feel guilty. Guanlin doesn’t actually need his ‘permission’. Surely, Guanlin can tell that Dongho doesn’t actually feel that way about him based on Dongho’s reaction earlier? No one acts that way with their boyfriend for god's sakes - boyfriends get kisses and hugs and cuddles and overwhelming amounts of PDA. The most he's gotten in public from Dongho is a smack on the head (he's not going to count the times they're pretending to date because - well - it’s all inauthentic).

“Of course we can come! We have to support you all the way, right hyung?” The fact he wasn’t included in the original invite has already flown over Yoo Seonho’s head.

Dongho ruffles Guanlin’s hair and a flush flourishes on their singer’s face. “Sure, Guanlin. We’ll definitely come if Sungjae can make sure we’re included – I know those things are pretty company specific but thank you for thinking of us.” At the end of the day, if Dongho’s more receptive to Guanlin – that’s okay.

Cause maybe that's just the way it's meant to be. “I’m glad to hear it – then I guess, we’re done? I better head out since I have to go the gym. I’ll check with Sungjae hyung but - Dongho hyung – no matter what – you have to come okay? Thank you so much for this song -”

“It’s as much yours as it is mine now, Guanlin.” Daehwi feels his stomach twist when Guanlin’s face only grows more admiring of Dongho.

And he can’t even blame Guanlin for the way his body lunges straight at Dongho to embrace the still laughing producer. “Thank you.”

“Eh – I should be thanking you.” Daehwi wants to look away but the image is burning itself into his mind and looking away would leave pixels left unfilled. “You made ' _Fade'_ come to life, Guanlin-ah.”

Dongho’s laughing, nodding along kindly as he claps hand after hand on Guanlin’s grinning frame. How irritating is that? Kang Dongho has no idea what this means to Guanlin. Kang Dongho has no idea that Guanlin is so over the moon happy that Kang Dongho has shown him the smallest of attentions and kindnesses –

What’s worse is Daehwi sees himself in Guanlin.

He sees himself wrapped in his blankets, face glued to his screen – god, he’s such a fucking idiot.

He wants to sink further into his self-loathing but as the door shuts behind Guanlin, a pungent smell disrupts his thought process. Oh my god – that is just so the perfect way to end this Friday. “Did one of you fart?” He’s really just looking at Dongho.

Between the two suspects, Seonho looks like he’d shit roses so -

“Excuse me? I did not fart.” Personally, his money is still on Dongho. The older man's hands are up a little too defensively.

“Well SOMEONE did – and it wasn’t me so –  “ He trails off waving a hand over his nose as he struggles to continue speaking.

Dongho narrows his eyes, accusation all too clear in his gaze. “In my years of experience– the person who brings it up is actually the farter – so Lee Daehwi – don’t try to pawn it off on someone else – ”

“Excuse me!” Daehwi places a hand on his chest, choking out as best as he can. “My farts are silent and non-sulphurous – LITERALLY I have dream farts okay? My farts would never - “

“Okay fine fine! I farted.” Seonho relents frowning as he looks between the two of them with an incredulous expression on his face. “Stop fighting about stupid things like farts - you two may as well be my age!”

The logic on this kid. “Seonho – I am only a few months older than you.”

“Yeah, but I don’t like it when you guys fight.”

“We weren’t fighting Seonho –“ Dongho snickers walking over to his stupid phone again. “Daehwi’s just being Daehwi.” What the fuck does that mean?  Dongho looks up – face smiling like he knows every stupid thought running through Daehwi’s mind before he looks down again to snicker to himself. “Nice to know how you classify your farts though, Daehwi.” He gives Dongho a look that is supposed to make him fear for his life but something about it must not be working because Dongho’s just laughing harder. “And don’t stress Seonho- it’s just – the human body – sometimes the human body does things that your mind can’t control. Daehwi, of all people, understands that.”

Okay, that felt like a very personal dig.

“Yeah, I couldn’t fart in front of Guanlin.” Seonho admits, his smile a little too wide at the word ‘ _Guanlin_ ’.

While Dongho is looking at him almost kindly, Daehwi is looking at him with none of that carefully fostered affection. “Excuse me, you shouldn’t be farting in front of any of us, not just Guanlin.”

“But we’re friends! If I can’t fart in front of my friends -”

“Oh – so Guanlin’s not a ‘friend’?” He air quotes the word ‘ _friend_ ’ and watches Yoo Seonho start to crack under the pressure of his gaze, nostrils flaring with obvious effort to keep his face steady.

Daehwi wraps his hands over his chest, foot tapping against the floor as he leans back in his chair. He’s all intimidation and swagger as he waits for Yoo Seonho to break little by little –

Dongho’s phone pings again and all of Daehwi’s efforts to get Seonho to admit how he feels about Guanlin are instantly thwarted. “Seonho-ya, don’t worry about princess back there- Daehwi’s just trying to prove his own agenda because he’s a bit nosy and bossy. Bad combination. Minhyun’s outside by the way -“

“It’s right – you know I’m right.” He hisses at Dongho who continues to wave him away like he’s a mosquito. “Also – I am not a princess.”

Dongho continues to swat at the air around him, selective hearing activated as he hugs Seonho goodbye.

 “Thanks Hyung! You’re the best!” And just like that – like it’s no big deal – Seonho’s arms snake over Dongho’s shoulders, head crooking into the older man’s neck in a way that makes Daehwi choke up a little.

Dongho laughs ruffling his hair when Seonho presses an almost too affectionate kiss to his temple.

Honestly – does everyone get to kiss him except for Daehwi himself? (Well - none of them are trying to shove their tongues down his throat - that might have something to do with it -)

He’s just about to start yelling when he feels Seonho do the exact same thing to him. “What the- Yoo Seonho!“

“Bye princess! You looked sad so couldn’t leave you looking that way.” Seonho pecks the other side of his head leaving him looking up at him in shock. “Love you both!”

He’s going to find Yoo Seonho and he is going to hurt him for saying that. On Monday. Things like that can wait for Monday. “Yoo Seonho – stop being so irritating!” With the sound of the door shutting close, his eyes follow suit as he clears his throat, ready to lecture Dongho into another universe. “Dongho-ssi - if that princess nickname sticks I’m suing MNet Producing Team for defamation-”

“Ah - you are?” With his eyes closed, Dongho’s voice sounds a lot closer to him than it really is. He’s only an arm and a pull and a tug away from being right beside him –

“Of course.” He laughs, doing his best to keep his voice steady and stable as his mind runs wild again. “This is hypocrisy at its worst. I’m not the princess – you’re the princess.”

“Saying whatever you want doesn’t change reality, Daehwi. The fact remains that you’re high maintenance.” He wants to disagree – but Dongho’s not entirely wrong. He is a little high maintenance. Not that Dongho ever needs to know he agrees with that assessment of himself. “Speechless?”

“No.” Daehwi hears a shuffle around him until his chair is yanked forward and his eyes are forced to open. “YO - what was that?”

And then he can’t say anything else.

Dongho’s face is close to his.

Beautifully close.

Close enough for him to appreciate that the red stupid dad polo shirt Dongho’s worn today seems to have lit a flame of warmth behind his boss’s brown eyes.

Shit, close your eyes Daehwi. Close them now before you drown a little more in your own mess.

“What kind of disrespectful intern closes his eyes when he’s talking to his boss?” Dongho pulls his eyes open and Daehwi slaps his hands away. Dongho’s the worst. Can’t he tell Daehwi can’t look at him when they’re up this close against each other? Can’t he tell this is too much? “Come on - what do you look so scared for?” Well – for one – he’s scared because Dongho’s inching closer every second, one arm placed on each of side of his chair and their position just feels all too familiar. “Come on, pack up. It’s time to go home.”

“Oh.” He needs a bucket of water. To throw on Dongho’s face.

But before he has a chance to complain again, Dongho reaches over him for his laptop – stowing it into his bag for him. “You take too long to do obvious things.” Actually, Dongho’s the one who takes too long to do anything at all. He could be doing much better than just putting his stuff away for him. “Come on, I’ll drop you home.”

As wonderful as the offer is, he has plans. “I’m okay to go by myself. I’m hungry so I might just go grab a bite to eat first or something-“  He starts to make his way out of the room with his bag but –

Dongho follows him. “Okay, okay - you don't have to ask so much - I'll buy you food."

“I –” He grapples with how to say this next part as they leave the building. There’s no reason for him to say anything to Dongho at all. Dongho doesn’t need to know that he has a date on Friday night because it’s none of Dongho’s business. “I have plans tonight, with a _friend_.” He does his best to draw out the word _friend_ meaningfully.

“Okay – I’ll just take you to where your plans are.”

Of course, the suggestive tone of his voice didn’t register in his obtuse boss’s mind whatsoever and Daehwi’s not sure if he’s more grateful or irritated by this fact. “Sure, whatever. If you have nothing better to do with your time you might as well drive me around.”

Despite his rude remark, Dongho just smiles at him and points towards the car. Huffing, Daehwi lets himself inside the ‘ _Monster Carrera_ ’ leaning his head against the window so he can close his eyes and fall asleep again. “You know I have no idea where we’re going right?”

“Use a GPS, dinosaur.” He winks one eye open anyways, unwilling smile on his face as he watches Dongho chuckle, breathless and about nine shades of too cute in his own embarrassment. “Besides – let me sleep. I feel like I haven’t rested all week working on this thing.”

“Hey man, with how much sleep you got on Saturday you’d think you’d be fine all week.” He keeps his face geared towards the window as his fingers pinch Dongho’s thigh, heart singing happily when he hears the other man yelp in pain. “Daehwi, what the fuck? That was really –“

“You’re the one who started it.” Daehwi presses a finger to his own lips which silences his boss. “We don’t bring up last week, right?”

“I never agreed to that. I don’t care about what happened last week – I already told you that. It doesn’t change anything.” He doesn’t know if he’s thankful for the way Dongho’s talking right now – or if he actually wants to hurl the other man out of a moving car. “Look, if you’re so tired – I don’t mind giving responsibility for the reprocessing Fade to Seonho. Jaehwan and I have been talking about me taking on a bit more of a leadership role with him -“

Wait – what? “So, what? I lose you?” Dongho doesn’t answer him. “Dude – seriously?” Of course, Dongho had an ulterior motive for wanting to drive him home – of course.

“I mean – nothing’s certain and you and me working together has been great but that doesn’t mean Jaehwan and Seonho are necessarily being as productive. A team’s chemistry is really important and – they’re just not hitting the right stride together.” This time Dongho tries to be more reassuring. “Just – don’t be surprised if it ever happens okay?”

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to be angry or thankful that you’re giving me warning.”

“Just – deal with it. Life’s not going to always go your way and Daehwi -”

Daehwi rolls his eyes. As wonderful as Dongho’s little speech is going to be - he’s not interested in hearing anything Dongho has to say about his life when he barely knows anything about it. “It may surprise you – but my life never goes my way. I just have to ‘deal’ with whatever the fuck happens in it. I didn’t really want to work with you either and I dealt with that pretty well so – just – whatever. I guess. Shove me around wherever you want to put me.” Dongho stays silent after that but Daehwi’s not sure if it’s because he’s upset or because he agrees that he was being a little too preach-y even for his tastes. “I’ll do the reprocessing – leave Seonho out of it and go towards route 3 – “

“Sure.” Dongho agrees and their already fizzled conversation stills silent in the car – and Daehwi can’t help but feel like it’s his fault.

Silence is great and all – but music would be better. It might help to bridge the divide he’s caused between the two of them. He leans over to Dongho’s phone which is thankfully already connected to the audio system. “What’s your passcode?”

“1998.” At this rate, Daehwi can steal his identity – he knows his house key code, his debit card pin number and now his phone passcode.

“1998?” He repeats blindly as Dongho’s phone grants him access to Dongho’s innermost secrets.

He can look at who it was that called him earlier in the studio – or maybe who Dongho texts sometimes – or if he has you know – any pictures – saved on his phone – “Daehwi, stop snooping in my phone.”

He immediately throws the phone back in the cupholder before him. “I HAVE NEVER BEEN ACCUSED OF SUCH INDECENCY!” His attempt to stay serious and offended is ruined when Dongho’s eyes literally give him an unimpressed expression that’s so flat that he can’t help but double over in laughter. “Okay fine – I wanted to see whose texts you were waiting for back in the studio since they obviously weren’t mine.”

He’s fully expecting to be yelled at but Dongho just sighs. “I’m sorry for being so distracted today. Just had a lot on my mind these past few weeks.”

“A lot? Like a lot a lot?” Dongho nods, smiling weakly at the perky tone of his voice. “Can I help? Do you want to just talk? I know I talk a lot – A LOT – especially with people I’m close to but like I’m also a good listener. I’ve listened to Somi whine about Samuel’s sleazing for years  - and I’ve also listened to Samuel whine about Somi in general for a much longer time – and if it’s boy trouble – like I’m an excellent matchmaker – I literally FOUND my best friend his boyfriend –“

“No, thanks. I don’t need your help hooking me up.” Dongho starts to laugh now shaking his head. “Lee Daehwi, do your skills know no bounds?”

“Please binds are for wimps and you know – that 50 shades stuff.” He rolls his lips into his mouth. “I didn’t read it by the way. Left, please.”

“I read it. I mean, everyone was reading it, Minki said it was excellent so – I tried. Personally I thought, the writing could be better –“

“Way better.”

“I thought you didn’t read it?” Fuck. Caught red handed by an idiot like Kang Dongho – what are you? A newb, Daehwi? “And yeah – E.L. James is obviously not a musical puritanist –“

“I will hurt you.” His threat only serves to make his boss bubble up into giggles. “You know what – just shut up for the rest of this drive. Let’s see what we can sing along to here in the car.” In seconds, he has Dongho’s music app up and loaded on the screen. “What songs does Kang Dongho have in his playlist that I can use purely for blackmail purposes?"

At that Dongho actually looks worried. “Daehwi – everything that’s on there is there for a reason –“

“Yeah? Why do you possibly need ‘ _Old McDonald had a farm_ ’!” He gestures towards the right lazily and Dongho turns his indicator on to change his lane to take the exit.

“I babysit my nephew sometimes.”  Dongho coughs. “And I grew up on a farm, okay? It’s nice to listen to sometimes.”

“Arirang?”

Dongho gasps as he shakes his head at a red light. “Appalling! Why would you even ask that? Who doesn’t have Arirang? That’s a classic- stop judging my tastes seriously –“

“Love you too.” Dongho grows eerily silent as he clears his throat and starts driving again. “Oh – are we ignoring me in person AND via text? Should I start saying it again?”

“Please - the amount of times you texted me that last night.” Dongho clears his throat again like he’s trying to make certain of what exactly leaves his lips before he says it and Daehwi leans towards him teasingly, head on his hands. “Don’t worry – you’ll never have to hear me say that again.”

“Pity. It would sound so pretty from your face.” Daehwi lifts his left hand out and puts it straight in front of Dongho’s face, this time to indicate he should be stopping soon. Dongho swats him away with a lazy smile on his face which is instantly replicated on Daehwi’s own. When he looks back to the playlist he finds himself smiling harder at the names he’s seeing on the list since most of them are familiar to what he’s used to himself - Epik High, Eminem, some underground rappers, soft rock from Nell, a song from 2AM and – “Oh my god –Barbie Girl?”

“Should have never given you the passcode to that thing.” Dongho lifts one hand off the wheel to hit his side. “Are we close?”

“Wow – Barbie Girl – like – this is even better than what I expected.” Daehwi cackles leaning back towards his half of the car. “Yeah, we’re close.”

“Barbie Girl is the perfect marriage of commercialized product and art that changes the rules of the game-” Even Dongho can’t keep a straight face at his argument. “Okay, Lee Daehwi, next time I drop you somewhere - how about we judge your music?”

“We could. It’d be infinitely better than yours, Barbie Girl.” Daehwi teases, enjoying the flush of pink wandering down Dongho’s neck disappearing under the collar of his white shirt.

Dongho’s pretty naturally pale – it probably stretches far – far down – “Just stop here for a sec.” Dongho stops the car frowning as he looks at the rundown red brick building to their left. “We’re at my apartment building.”

Dongho looks confused, aptly so. “I thought you were going out?”

“I am.” He nods, clearing his throat. “I just need to change.”

Now Dongho looks a little irritated. Good. His boss spends most of his time irritating him anyways – he might as well learn to feel that way too. “But Daehwi – I’m not your chauffeur-”

“But Dongho – you offered.” He mimics, doing his best to imitate what he assumes is Seonho’s natural charm which is sticking his bum out and pouting. Dongho doesn’t melt quite as easily for him as he does for his fellow intern. “It’ll be fast, I promise. You can come up? Keep me honest on time so I don’t take forever?” He snaps the door open and starts to walk away when it strikes him that Dongho hasn’t even started to get up from his seat and follow him. When he turns around to see what’s taking him so long, he’s more than a little irked to see that Dongho’s back on his phone.

What is wrong with this guy?

He knocks on the window on his side of the car, thankfully Dongho has enough sense to look up from the phone and pull his window down as Daehwi growls. “Excuse me – but we’re getting late-“

“I’m coming up?” Yes, he is coming up. Daehwi has very graciously invited this idiot into his home and the guy is sitting here like a fool.

He huffs stalking over to Dongho’s side of the car and whipping the door open as he gestures with his hands vaguely towards the outside world. “Any day now –“

Dongho steps out of the car, and sensing his bad mood he pulls the door from his hands. “Lee Daehwi, a gentleman – who knew?”

Despite knowing better, a smile blossoms on his face. “Come on Barbie, let’s go party.”

Dongho’s so busy laughing after that he doesn’t notice the way Daehwi slips his fingers easily through the gaps in Dongho’s own palm – or if he does, he doesn’t pull away. It feels nice to hold his hand again, just as comforting and warm as it was that day in the club last week. “Sorry – I live pretty high up and there’s no elevator-“

“Make me walk, make me talk – do whatever you please.”

“I can act like a star-“

“I can beg on my knees?”

"Oh, really?" Daehwi’s eyes rise as  he sees Dongho realize what he's let slip from his lips.

"Shut up Daehwi - I'm not doing this anymore." He likes seeing Dongho like this - all self-conscious, hands unable to find a real home on his body like he's looking for some way to look cool but failing miserably - it appears now that outside of the studio - as always - Dongho's just more approachable. "You can stop looking now." Dongho starts to lunge up two steps at a time like he’s trying to run away.

"But I like making you nervous!"

Unfortunately for Dongho, Daehwi’s fast – he moves at lightning speed as he overtakes his boss, twisting his body so that he can climb the steps backwards. He’s happy when he sees something that looks like worry cross Dongho’s face. He almost trips as they land on his floor and when he almost falls, Dongho grabs onto his hand to throw him into his arm. “God - Daehwi - please watch where you're going.”

“But now look - you've swept me off my feet - romance novel covers are shaking." Daehwi closes his eyes leaning all the way backwards, neck flashed brilliantly in Dongho’s very unamused face. “Okay, you can put me down now if you’re not going to sweep me away –“

“Pity - you shouldn't tempt a guy. I was thinking of carrying you up instead of letting you trip on yourself again-“

“How sweet.” His heart needs to stop beating this hard, at this proximity he’s sure Dongho can feel it cause earthquakes of a 5.0 intensity on the Richter scale. “Also, please don’t carry me into the house – you will most definitely give my roommates a heart attack.” He’s also having a heart attack right now.

Dongho’s hands fall from his waist and he takes the opening to distance himself from the other man, running up to his door and throwing it open with as grand a move as he can manage with his currently overworked heart. “Donghyun hyung, Woojin hyung, Youngmin hyung – I’m HOME! PLEASE WEAR CLOTHES – WE HAVE COMPANY – OR DON’T – YOU KNOW – WHATEVER YOU WANT.”

“Welcome home! DON’T COME TO THE BATHROOM – I AM NOT WEARING CLOTHES.” Donghyun yells out.

Daehwi laughs as he looks at Dongho’s shocked face as the other man takes a look at their shabby little walk up apartment. His house is pretty much the opposite of Dongho’s. It’s large, sure, but every part of the house is dedicated to some collection of squeezed accessories that defines its inhabitants. There’s Woojin’s gaming + beanbag unit, Donghyun’s makeshift art studio (also known as that left corner where nothing but dust and sunlight collect) and Youngmin’s state of the art boom box that takes over a solid piece of square footage that Donghyun’s always complaining about. “This is nice Daehwi – is that your makeshift studio in the right corner?”

“Yeah” He grins brightly looking at his station. “It’s messy but it’s four boys and we all need to play nice the sandbox.” He brings his hands up in the air, twirling on his feet. “It’s home, though.”

“I –“ Dongho shakes his head smiling. “It’s nice, Daehwi.”

Something about the way Dongho says it – with as much affection for his home as he has himself – it makes him feel a little hot under the collar of his shirt. Or maybe it’s just that their thermostat is broken or something – he should get Youngmin to check on that. “Hey man, make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa. You hungry?” He gestures grandly towards the big brown leather couch that they’d stolen off a sidewalk.

The gesture towards the couch appeared to be enough indication of where Dongho should be getting comfortable. “Nah, I’m cool.”

“Kay – just - watch T.V. or something.” He throws the remote at Dongho’s head just as another key clicks into the door and a bobble heavy red head walks in.

“Daehwi! You’re home! I thought you had a –“ Fuck, Youngmin hyung’s home. “Oh – hi – a friend of Daehwi’s?”

He looks between Dongho who is getting up from the couch.

He looks towards Youngmin who is extending his hand towards Dongho in a manner that is typical and friendly of the man who looks like a fuzzy alpaca – “I’m Im Youngmin – it’s nice to meet you! You are –“

“Ah I’m  -“

Oh, hell no. Not on his watch! 

“And that’s enough introductions for today!” He jumps between the two of them before Dongho and Youngmin can shake hands making both of the older men look at him confused. “Glad you two met – move on! Shoo shoo! Lots to do – gotta change – gotta like – get out of here. Come on, you – “ Shit he can’t say Dongho’s name in front of Youngmin – otherwise Youngmin will figure out who Dongho is to him and based on their conversation last night - well - he doesn't want to give Youngmin a reason to lecture him again. Somehow bringing Dongho home feels like a lecture just sitting there, waiting for him. “Funny - guy.”

Dongho looks at him like he’s mental.

Youngmin looks at Dongho a little more like he’s sorry Daehwi is the way he is.

Daehwi giggles and threads his fingers back through Dongho’s hands, lips bit as he glances up at Dongho from under his lashes. Dongho’s fingers clamp on tight and his lips part just the slightest. “Daehwi-“

“Bye hyung!” He waves off towards Youngmin, dragging Dongho by his hands towards his bedroom and shutting the door.

“Daehwi –“

“Thank god.” He lets out a breath, leaning against the shut door with his eyes closed as he wipes a fake sweat drop. “That was close.”

“Close to what?” Dongho voices softly and Daehwi opens his eyes.

The light pouring in from his widespread half-cracked window illuminates Dongho. From this spot, Dongho looks like an angel, descended from heaven, intent on making him miserable –

He has a date in two hours and - “Daehwi – why are we in your bedroom?”

Oh.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you know me - you know i'm byeongari trash.
> 
> and i have now proven myself to be byeongari trash.
> 
> enjoy fellow byeongari trash people.
> 
> anyways MORE IMPORTANTLY -
> 
> 1) NU'EST IS COMING BACK IN JUNE - (yay)  
> 2) WANNA ONE IS ALSO COMING BACK IN JUNE  
> 3) DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
> 
> (PS Somi and Hwi were recently featured in P48 teasers together and you know what - I'm weakguys - I'm weak - this is what distracted me - that and a lot of 2hyun content)
> 
> OKAY I'M DONE RANTING. what is this end note (i'm sorry its late)
> 
> okay i love you all seriously - you make me want to write more and deliver more quality content and i hope i delivered to a decent extent
> 
> okay now thats it. <3 mwah.


	12. The Ride - Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember- a prude is writing this story.
> 
> Other than that - friends - please enjoy. I want you to smile and scream and I think I might get you to do that this chapter.

He hasn’t talked for two minutes.

How can he when his mind is still paused on the words - ‘ _Daehwi, are we in your bedroom_?’

Dongho looks freaked out.

As he should, all Daehwi’s done in this period of silence is stare at him, look at the bed and then look back at Dongho.

Repeatedly.

‘ _Daehwi, are we in your bedroom_?’

 “Uh, maybe I should go back out…”

“No! Please!” He lunges forward to push Dongho away from the door.

Dongho’s in his bedroom, sure - but it’s just a bedroom.

People sleep here, people wake up here, sometimes – sure – they do that together instead of alone but it’s no big deal.

It’s a little deal. LITTLE.  It’ll be fine Lee Daehwi, it’ll be fine – just clean your mind out – “Okay, I’ll stay, just stop shaking your head like that. You’re going to snap your neck if you’re not careful.”

He was shaking his head more in an attempt to cleanse his mind than tell Dongho he didn’t want him to leave but – what Dongho doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

And it’s not like he brought Dongho in here on purpose. This situation is just as uncomfortable for him as it is for Dongho but he really can’t have Youngmin figuring out who Dongho is because the idea of disappointing Youngmin makes him feel – heavy.

On second thought, it's all too risky to even have Dongho in the house - it's best if they just leave now. “You know what? I don’t need to change. Let’s just leave –“

Dongho starts laughing, shameless as ever. “Don’t be ridiculous, Daehwi. You came up here to get a change of clothes. Just change and get it over with.”

He’s not being ridiculous, he’s being smart. “It’s not that – like – I mean –“

“Look, if you’re so sensitive, I can just leave. You can change and come out, cool?”  Dongho makes a move to come over him, hand reaching over his frame for the gold knob but Daehwi quickly shuts the door again with his back.

Not cool.  “I want you to stay.”

 “So – “ Dongho starts.

“So.” Daehwi finishes the words dying in his mouth as he starts to sweat.

There’s a bonfire somewhere in his room and with every step Dongho takes towards him – the flames are fanned to skyscraper heights. At this distance, he can peek into each of Dongho’s pores pinpricked to the brim with black dots –

“So, you just want me to stand here and watch you change?” Daehwi looks up from Dongho’s cheeks to his eyes.

This time when Dongho colours red, he’s sure the shade’s found its way onto his own skin. “Are you aware of what you sound like?”

At that, Dongho has the shame to look embarrassed. “I didn’t mean it that way – but what else am I supposed to do in here?”

He rolls his lips into his smile, he likes embarrassing Dongho. It’s the only reassurance he has that whatever it is that’s running through the older man’s mind – it’s not too far from the involuntary thoughts that are driving him half-way insane. “I mean if you want a show – you just have to promise to – “

At that Dongho’s had enough, the man’s palms clamp onto his shoulders and Daehwi closes his eyes.

Yes – this is it - he’s going to be shoved onto the bed and feel Dongho's hands crawl up his neck to his head to pull them together - fuck - yes - he’s sure of it – so sure –

He’s shoved all right.

He’s shoved right into his closet, hangers and rods hitting his bony frame as Dongho growls irritably. “Can you change already? I don’t plan on spending all night with you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Part of him is disappointed in Dongho but a larger part of him is disappointed in himself. Of course, Dongho's not going to make a move. Dongho doesn't even know how to make moves. Dongho’s 6 years older than him sure – but Daehwi’s not sure what the other man has even learned in his added time on earth because he definitely hasn’t learned how to read a ‘mood’.

For god’s sake – he shoved him into the closet. After he spent so many years trying to leave the bloody thing. “What are you laughing at, Daehwi?”

 “It’s nothing.” He clears his throat but in seconds he’s giggling again at Dongho’s confused expression. “It’s just – it’s the first time I’ve brought a guy to this bedroom who’s tried to push me back _into_ the closet -” He can’t even finish his words without crumbling into laughs again.

Dongho looks unimpressed. “Change.”

“Aye, aye captain.” He salutes and winks at his leading officer before twirling back to face the closet.

Dongho turns to admire his masterpiece from yesterday. “Don’t you get scared looking at that thing?”

“The Sakura painting? That’s kind of the point.”

“Only you, Lee Daehwi.”

His hands pause at their mission of sifting past hangers. Only him, what? Why does Dongho always leave so much of their conversation unsaid – he can’t seem to fill the blanks in by himself.  “You don’t have to just stand around, you know. You could lie down.”

“You want me to lie down? In your bed?” Dongho laughs again this time with a sparkle of humor twinkling in his eyes. “Daehwi –“

“Can you relax, please? It’s just somewhere comfy to sit in this room so I don’t have you watching my every move, here.” This time he’s the one pushing Dongho towards the mattress, hands on his shoulders as he uses a little force to throw the other man flat against his bed.

It’s kind of nice to hear Dongho groan a little as he lands on the frame. “Bossy, bossy.”

“Lazy, lazy.” He teases back as Dongho sinks into the mattress with a gaze so wide it makes the older man look like he belongs on a Disney cartoon.

“Wow! You weren’t joking, this is really comfortable.”

“I know – I think yours is a bit better but mine’s not bad right? I got a steal on a hotel bed so I subbed out the dorm one! I didn’t run a black light on it but I figure what I don’t know won’t hurt me-”

Okay, this is too cute. Dongho is not listening to him. "It's so soft!" While this should be irritating the only thing Daehwi can feel is enamored with the way Dongho is bouncing like a child on his bed before he kicks his shoes off all politeness and manners. “God – Daehwi – you have so many clothes.” Dongho doesn’t know this but he’s presently shoving Daehwi’s dirty laundry to a safe corner of the bed.

Shit wait, did he leave boxers on the bed?

Well, too late. This is no time to worry about may or may not be in his dirty laundry.

Right, clothes. He needs to figure his clothing situation out quick time. What can he wear?  “You live with a lot of guys –“ Dongho calls out from behind him.

“Yeah, I’m a broke college student. We tend to live with others from our tribe. Actually, the four of us were lucky enough to get into this building. It’s old and sometimes the heating isn’t great – but it’s the one with the largest units.”

“It’s a nice building – way bigger than what I could afford when I was in school. I think I actually lived out of a Campbell’s soup can at one point.”

Daehwi turns to look at his boss who’s just smiling up at him as he tucks himself inside the comforters. “You fit? Muscles and all?”

At that, Dongho blushes. “Shut up Daehwi.”

“Gladly.” He could do the yellow shirt but it might be a little bright for a Friday night out. If only he had someone in his bedroom - who had nothing to do – who had all the time in the world to critique his choice in clothing – who was currently in his bed – “Hey Dongho, what do you think about this?”

“Cute?” Dongho’s head peeks out of the covers.

No.

The only thing that’s too cute in this bedroom is Dongho.

He hits his head against the closet door.

“It’s cute! It’s a little yellow – but you know! Cute! Daehwi stop hitting your head!” Is this fair? How is this fair? Dongho’s just here – wrapped up like the most wonderful of gifts just waiting to be unraveled. And Daehwi can’t do a darned thing about it.  “Okay – fine – in my personal opinion – you look better in white.”

He continues to hit his head against the closet door. “White’s boring.”

“What the hell do you have against white? It’s nice! Everyone likes white!” He doesn’t like white. He doesn’t like Dongho. He doesn’t like himself “Can I ask you something?”

“Your wish is my command.”

“Why are you so broke anyways? I know we pay you pretty well because I drafted your offer and fought to get you more based on your experience level. You’re making way more than even I did when I was starting out at PLEDIS.” What a boring wish. The Dongho in his mind would have wished for something far more interesting – “Daehwi seriously – please stop hitting your head. It’s just a question on how you manage your money but if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine.”

How is Kang Dongho so talented at being so stupid? How can Dongho literally see him have a mental breakdown all by himself and, at the exact same time, blatantly ignore that he is the cause of said mental breakdown. “The music program at Yonsei costs an arm and a leg. I have a student loan from Shinhan with a low rate but I’m still in debt. Between instruments, software, rent and tuition – it’s been a little hard to keep up over the past few years.” He feels a little choked but the next words managed to climb over the hurdle in his throat anyways. “My parents didn’t get a chance to put things away in investments for me – they never really thought that way to be honest? It's why I value money so much and spend as little of it as possible - so - please continue to buy me coffees for the rest of your life.”

“Oh.” Dongho’s voice sounds distant. "Okay."

He pushes his head into the clothes in front of him. Stop. Talking. Daehwi. This is too much information. “I’ve been taking everything from MNet and pushing it into my loans though. I think I’ve practically paid off my first year. Just got to get through second, third and fourth now.” He grabs the first thing he sees – an orange wool sweater. It's an ugly Christmas gift from Park Woojin who has no sense of style but desperate times called for desperate measures. He really doesn't want to have this particular conversation anymore. “Orange?”

Dongho pouts, shaking his head. “Too cute.”

 “There’s such a thing?”

“When it comes to you – yeah. You’re too cute. As a rule.”

He turns back to the closet. He can't let Dongho see his face right now because he's not sure what he looks like. All he feels is the comforting warmth of honey coating his throat – sticky, sweet and hot. “It’s the first time I’ve brought a guy to this bedroom who thinks I’m too cute- bratty- irritating- amazing at all things- sure but – too cute -”

“Just because they never told you doesn’t mean they never thought it, Daehwi.” If his boss doesn’t stop talking from where he is rolled and ready for tasting in his bed then Daehwi’s going to do something- kissing him sounds pretty good, more sounds better, all evening in this room with him sounds like – “Can you just trust me?”

He can do a lot of things. “Why?”

“Just wear white, man.”

Is it okay to hate him and feel this at the same time? Because that’s what he’s feeling. Nothing short of pure unadulterated hate and desire and something more and it’s going to make his emotionally confused heart burst open and leave shreds all around the room for Dongho to clean up. “Why should I wear what you want me to?”

"Because white is a classic colour and no one looks that bad in white." Dongho yawns. "Man, I'm getting kind of sleepy."

“So you want me to wear white so that I can look like you?” He raises an eyebrow at Dongho’s still sleeping form, teeth biting his lips as he starts to sing. “And I was like – boy – why you so obsessed with me?”

"Mariah Carey? Really Daehwi?”  Dongho winks one eye open, grinning up at him. “And please – if anyone’s obsessed it’s you –“

“You’re delusional – you’re delusional - boy you losing your mind.”

“You’re confused you know – why you wasting your time? Boy – why you so obsessed with me?”

“Get out of my room.” He throws the red shirt in his hands at Dongho’s face with an odd sense of satisfaction as it makes a loud thwack.

"That was so rude. I don't think I want to leave!" Dongho lets out a loud faked snore as he folds the red shirt – "This is my bed now." 

What is wrong with him, today? Why is he being so – cute? Why is his boss folding his shirt and putting it so neatly on the corner of his bed? What is he DOING? “I hate you.” He announces to Dongho’s all too happy giggles.

He’s going to go insane. He’s going to go insane and get committed to an asylum and his mother’s going to cry and he’s going to tell her it’s all Kang Dongho’s fault and she’s going to look very confused.

Oh, look a white T-shirt.

“Oh – oh – look – what – is Lee Daehwi picking up something WHITE?” It’s not his fault it’s the most wearable thing in his closet right now. It has nothing to do with Dongho’s insistence on having him wear something white.

And yet, he knows something is terribly terribly wrong with him as he shares a smile with his clothes. “You’re getting too comfortable boss-nim. Now, get under the covers so I can take my clothes off - ”

“I don’t know how to process these words that are coming out of your mouth since I’m already sleeping?” Contrary to what he's saying, Dongho does process Daehwi's request correctly. His boss’s head disappears under the sheets.

Like this, he looks like a lumpy ghost, or an undercover Yeti or an unnecessarily shapely snowman -“God you’re ridiculous.” He whispers to himself, hands over his mouth to muffle the laughs spilling from his lips. 

He’s not soft enough. “Daehwi, are you laughing at me?”

“Oh – ho - is there something to laugh at?" Since he’s been caught anyways – he laughs louder and harder a little too pleased by the whine that leaves the big white lump in his bed. Lovely as Dongho looks with his face all covered in his bed, he’s done changing now. “Barbie-ssi, I’m all dressed. Time to leave now-”

“Sorry – I’m pretending to be asleep.” Dongho yawns, crawling deeper still into the covers. Daehwi tilts his head sideways as tufts of black curls poke their way past the edges of his sheet. “Can you come back in five hours? Oh and don’t forget to get me some rice, please and thank - “

Daehwi pokes the lump in the side, inciting a delightful little Pilsbury Dough Boy giggle from it. “Excuse me, are you really doing this?”

“Yup.” Dongho's words are cushioned with the sound of muffled giggles and Daehwi finds himself smiling even harder than before as he sees his little ghost shaking beneath the sheets.

God, the most adorable idiot has managed to find his way into his bed and all Daehwi really wants to do is  keep him there if it means he can continue to hear Dongho laugh like this – even if it’s right at him. “You sure you want to make fun of me like that? Can you handle the repercussions?”

Dongho fakes a snore.

Later – when Dongho’s yelling at him – his boss will regret this decision he’s made to mock his perfect intern.

He’s not going to let this opportunity to torture Dongho just pass him by.

He lets his fingertips hover the edge of Dongho’s head. “Daehwi –“ He quickly pulls up the corner of the bedsheet over his mattress – with the fabric loose now he can start wrapping the little gift. “Daehwi – what the - what are you doing?!”

“Tucking in a big baby?” He huffs. Dongho’s heavier than him and normally he wouldn’t be able to lift him but the sheet lets him get leverage to keep rolling Dongho in it as he jumps onto his now bare mattress.

Just as he’s about roll Dongho off the edge of his bed, Dongho’s head manages to fight it’s way past the blanket burrito roll. “LEE DAEHWI! I'm going to fall!” 

“Oops?” Like this, Dongho really does look like a big baby. An adorable baby all swaddled, red in the face with anger like he’s about to start crying unless he’s rocked back and forth to sleep. “You’re the one who wanted to stay here forever. So stay. Like that. My own personal mummy.”

Dongho’s nose scrunches up distastefully. “Ew. Gross. I am not your mother.”

“I meant the Egyptian one. Wow - look at this man – he really doesn't know how to speak English - unable to see any context in words." Despite his response, he’s still laughing at Dongho’s red face as he pulls his phone out.

“What are you doing?” What does his big baby think he’s doing?

“My boss is a model. I need to share this with everyone!” Dongho looks traumatized as the sound of the camera shutter goes off. “I’m going to send this to Mina to put into the newsletter for us-“

“LEE DAEHWI!” Dongho may have been momentarily flabbergasted but at those words he bursts out of the blanket roll like a superhero ripping off his dreary human disguise and Daehwi grins all too brightly when he feels Dongho’s hands clamp and cover his.

As wonderfully delightful as it is to feel Dongho’s fingers in his again – he knows Dongho’s only doing this to take his phone away and there’s no way Daehwi’s going to let that happen.

People out in the real world deserve to know how adorable Kang Dongho really is – he’s a yelly idiot, painfully kind and quite possibly the most wonderfully adorable person Daehwi’s had the pleasure of meeting (Jihoon is a close second who gets demoted because he’s always asking people to fight him).

“Daehwi – “ Dongho’s fingers tickle the insides of his palms.

“Stop saying my name –“

“Daehwi –“ Dongho lilts as Daehwi pants from the laughs spilling from him as he shakes his head and pulls away to run out of the door.

Dongho is on his feet in seconds, lunging towards the door but with the blankets still wrapped around his waist he faces the ill fate of crashing straight into the door, head colliding with the cheap wood with a loud thump. “Oh fuck, Dongho.” He starts laughing as his boss knocks out to the ground. At least, he won this round and got to keep the picture. “Sorry man - are you okay?”

“NO!” Dongho growls from the floor. “Why are you such a pain, Daehwi?”

“You started it! Making fun of what I did on Saturday!” He doesn’t want to keep laughing because Dongho’s squinting in pain and it feels cruel –

But the two of them are here together - slumped against his bedroom door with his bed sheets and and dirty laundry pooling at their feet and he feels –

He feels amazing.

He feels so _fucking_ amazing.

His smile hurts. His chest hurts. Every bone in his body aches with the same hurt screaming at him over and over and over again -

“Stop smiling you piece of shit, my head hurts.” He can only smile harder as his boss glares at him. “Asshole.”

Dongho’s pain is a little simpler, a little easier to understand.

That’s okay.

Maybe he can make Dongho’s hurt feel like his too.

He gulps back the quickly forming knot in his throat, fingers reaching forward for Dongho’s hair. “Where does it hurt?” Dongho’s breath hitches loud enough for him to glance down at the other man’s eyes when his fingers comb through Dongho’s curled strands. “Here?”

Dongho doesn’t respond, the wrinkle in his brow remains like a wall.

So Daehwi lets his fingers come down to Dongho’s forehead, thumb pressing just the slightest at the corner that’s tinged red from its impact against the door. “Here, right?” With a barely perceptible nod thrown his way, Daehwi shifts closer still to Dongho inches from his face. “I’m going to try to massage the pain out with my hands but if it hurts tell me, okay?”

“Okay.” Dongho nods again, a little more confident this time.

“Usually I just try to distract the nerve that’s hurting when I bump into something. It kind of works? At least for small things like this –“

“It’s not small.”

“Sure, sure, it’s not small.” He laughs again. Dongho’s eyes soften with every push of his thumb against the skin. He’s pushing harder, building pressure in tiny careful circles meant to disperse the tension. “Better?”

Dongho doesn’t respond.

Instead, Dongho looks straight through him like all he wants is understand the layers upon layers of façade on his frame- so that maybe he can see the bare bones of what makes Lee Daehwi, Lee Daehwi. “Thanks.”

Daehwi laughs, hands coming back down at his sides as he drops his gaze from Dongho's insistent one first. “Hey, what are interns for?”

He looks back up but Dongho’s off the ground already, ready to escape from their haphazard pool of fabric far sooner than he is. “Come on – let’s get you to where you need to be.”

Watching him stand before him and put visible distance between them – it makes Daehwi feel lonely.

Hell, it's not just lonely. 

It's - painful.

How can Dongho do that?

The man before him is not supposed to have such powers. He's just Dongho. Dongho's supposed to be just Dongho – but with every passing moment he spends alone in his company Dongho becomes something more to him. “Do you need a hand?”

“No – I’m fine.” Daehwi pushes himself off the ground, throwing his sheets back onto the bed with a little more force than required before turning back to Dongho. “I know this is weird but can you not talk to anyone when we leave?”

Dongho looks confused and, oddly, disappointed in him. “Why?”

_Because we kissed last week and since then all I’ve wanted to do is kiss you senseless sober every time I'm left alone with you._

_Also, Youngmin thinks you’re a bad influence on me and I’m prompted to agree._

_If he was by his closet – he’d hit his head again but he’s not._ "Youngmin talks a LOT.” That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Youngmin is an introvert through and through. “He just won’t shut up and I need to get to my friend. If we start a conversation with Youngmin – we’ll never be able to leave and I don't want to make my friend wait for too long.”

This time when he makes mention of his friend, he sees Dongho pause at the door. “Sure, fine – whatever. I don’t have to know your friends Daehwi.”

Something in his voice makes Daehwi’s insides twist. “You want to get to know them? They’re honestly not that –“

Unfortunately for the two of them, they bang straight into Donghyun. 

Who looks perplexed and confused as to why Daehwi had someone in his room in the first place. “Daehwi – is there something you need to tell the group – you know we like – usually tell each other if we’re inviting people over like ‘that’ -”

“Donghyun hyung - this isn’t –“

“Dude – dude-“ Donghyun puts a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. “I’m fucking with you.” Since he’s momentarily distracted by his roommate rage - Donghyun claps a hand on Dongho’s back. “Nice to meet you friend, what’s your name?”

Dongho is good at following instruction even if he looks annoyed by the fact that Daehwi’s asked him to stay silent. “Donghyun-hyung, need I remind you? Your hair is wet and your mom is always complaining about how you get sick too easily – I think you should go dry your hair.”

“WOW – that was a horrible way to get rid of me as you try to sneak out with your new side piece –“ Dongho bristles before looking back to Daehwi with eyes that plead for him to let him speak and correct this misconception. “Mr.Silent, we usually have a very nice process for walks of shame but don’t worry – I won’t push for your name if it helps keep your dignity intact. You look like a Kin major and I know those guys can be assholes.” Dongho scoffs now as he shakes his head as much as physically possible without saying anything. This only makes Donghyun laugh harder. “Okay okay – got it dude – stop – you’re going to hurt your neck. I get it – you’re not a Kin major. I won’t make that mistake again.”

 “Hyung – it’s not like that.”

“Sure. Sure. Whatever.” With those words, Kim Donghyun waves his hands in the air like he just don’t care. “Park Jihoon called for you by the way -”

“Why would he call you?” Daehwi can’t hold himself back from his accusatory tone but Donghyun is a gem of a human already used to all of the flaws that make up his dongsaeng’s perfect form. “He has my number.”

“Yes, but Daehwi - would you pick up a call from your ex-boyfriend’s new boyfriend?” Fair point, Kim Donghyun! He most definitely would not pick up a call from Park Jihoon the general relationship ruiner and walking slice of sunshine.

“OH! Jihoon, right! The red head kid from the club-I liked him!” As Donghyun and he turn to face Dongho, Dongho gulps nervously unhappy at being the center of attention again and even more worried now that he’s forgotten that he’s not supposed to speak. “He was cute…you should call him back.”

First thing Dongho says to Donghyun and it’s that he likes Jihoon more than he likes him – WOW. WOW. WOW. Why the fuck did he feel the way he did in the bedroom?

“Listen here –“ He kicks Dongho in the shins, turning to look at his presently yowling boss with a beautiful smile on his face. The bedroom was a different world - a different Daehwi accompanied by a different Dongho. “You don’t need to think anything about Jihoon at all – you don’t even KNOW him. That cute face? It’s only one part of him, okay?”

“Oh wow – “ Donghyun lets out a low whistle. Dongho’s still yelping holding his shins as Donghyun puts a hand on his shoulder. “Booty call-ssi, you better watch out. Daehwi’s already possessive of you.”

“I am so not!” He so is. “Where do you even get these ludicrous conclusions from?”

“I’m a philosophy major.” Donghyun shrugs. “It’s my job to come to preposterous conclusions and pray they’re true for the sanity of the world.”

“Hyung – you’re going to be broker than me. I’m going to have to support you and Cherry Tomato in your old age –“

“Daehwi-ah – you know how we love you.” Donghyun plays along laughing as he pulls Daehwi in for an uncomfortable hug. “Please – make lots of money and take care of us for the rest of your life.”

Daehwi’s just about to respond when he sees Dongho open his mouth to start a very not ideal sentence. “Ah sorry – where are my manners – I’m –“

“LEAVING!” Daehwi reaches for Dongho’s outstretched hand, fingers knotting themselves into the other man’s joints. “BYE DONGHYUN I LOVE YOU!” Thankfully, seconds later, they’re safe and sound and out of any immediate danger since they’ve left the house.

At least physically they’re fine – but mentally – Daehwi’s still reeling from Donghyun’s words.

Why does Jihoon want to talk to him? They haven’t tried to talk to each other since their botched date.

What if it’s serious? What if it’s about Jinyoung? What if Jinyoung’s not okay?

His right hand is just about to reach for his phone to call Jinyoung when he realizes that there’s something else in its grasp right now.

Something warm, wonderful and calloused – but it doesn’t make phone calls.

“Oh – shit – sorry.” He lets go of Dongho’s hand. It’s the right thing to do.

“No worries, Daehwi!” Dongho takes the hand and clasps it over his heart. “I understand that these things can happen. Just like you understand that sometimes people say I love you to people in English without it actually meaning anything – like you just said to Donghyun - “ Daehwi snorts. Dongho looks offended that his little speech has been interrupted.

Honestly, why is Dongho still on this? He gets it – Dongho doesn’t love him. Point made. Move on. “I say I love you as a garbage statement to express my affections for others because that’s what I’m like. The real question is – are you like that Kang Dongho?”

“Am I like what?”

He flicks his phone up, finger hovering over Jinyoung’s name. “Are you the kind of guy who says I love you without meaning anything by it?”

“How can you say that about yourself? Lee Daehwi?! Saying things he doesn’t mean? Sounds like bad gossip to me - ”

Daehwi laughs as his eyes hone in on the picture on Jinyoung’s profile on his phone. In it, Jinyoung is slurping ramen into his mouth. It’s the ugliest picture he’d ever managed to take of the other boy and still Jinyoung looks like he’s part of an editorial shoot at GQ. “Shut up, Barbie girl.”

“You think Jihoon’s calling about that guy?” Dongho’s face hovers by his ears, with just enough distance for Daehwi to feel like they’re not close enough all over again.

“Well, Jihoon and I don’t have much in common other than Jinyoung.” There’s no need to explain himself to Dongho and yet his mouth makes him anyways. “I don’t think he’d call me unless it was something important –”

“To be fair, he called Donghyun. If it was that important – wouldn’t Jihoon have called you directly?” Dongho skips ahead of him on the stairs. “What’s wrong with Donghyun by the way? Why couldn’t I introduce myself to him?”

Ah shit, he caught that – Dongho’s smarter than he looks.

Quick Daehwi – come up with something fast. “Kim Donghyun? He is such a Daddy chaser. You’re totally his type – he loves well-preserved fossils like you.” Daehwi pats himself on the back as they climb down the steps. “I’m just looking out for you! Do you really want to be with someone who just likes you for the fact you’re an old rich fart?”

That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Donghyun is in a happy, loving, **_monogamous_** relationship with a very broke underground rapper but Dongho doesn’t need to know any of that.

 “I thought he was with someone? Cherry tomato?” Dongho is too smart for his own good.

“That’s his dog.”

He slips back into the car, seatbelt quickly applied of his own free volition before Dongho takes his seat and starts the car. “Okay – directions, Daehwi. Where are we going?”

“TeaTime Bubble Tea Café and Games in Mapo - this time I’ll load GPS directions because I have no idea where I’m going.” He’d like to give Dongho a custom profile picture in his phone too.

“Daehwi –“After all, that picture of him in the blankets is too funny to keep hidden away in his albums forever. “You better be loading your GPS on that thing.” Dongho makes a move to grab his phone again but Daehwi pulls to the side of the car just as Dongho catches sight of what’s on his screen. “I knew it! Lee Daehwi – as your boss I’m ordering you to delete that picture or you’re fired –“

“I’m not scared of your threats! You can’t live without me.” As much as meeting Euiwoong tonight is supposed to be highlight of his Friday – this ride there feels a lot more like it.

“Yeah yeah. I’m so lost without Lee Daehwi – what did I do for the rest of my life before he came into it?”

“Nothing worthwhile.”  Daehwi leans into his seat unable to stop the shit eating grin from spreading on his face. “But that’s okay – I’m here to save you from yourself Kang Dongho.”

“Too real, Daehwi. Too real.” Dongho laughs as he leans his head back against the headrest, starting the car. “Today’s recording went well huh?”

“Yeah – I guess.” He agrees. “Guanlin was happy, so I’m happy?”

“I think he’s going to do well.” He glances over at Dongho.

Despite all in his head that’s yelling at him to not say what he’s about to next – his heart once again overrides his common sense. “You’re getting along well with Guanlin given how things started out between you two.”

“Yeah, Guanlin’s a good guy. Little misguided and prone to making foolish mistakes – but he’s really nice.” The only thing that’s too real for him to swallow in this car is the smile blossoming on Dongho’s face at the thought of Guanlin. “I like him a lot.”

Ah – there it is.

Of course – OF COURSE. Kang Dongho is already well aware of his own weakness for Lai Guanlin.

He’s just being an emotionally constipated idiot.

And Daehwi’s not sure if he wants to yell at Dongho to get over himself or yell at him to open his fucking eyes and realize –

Fuck, he doesn’t know what he wants Dongho to realize.

He shuts his eyes as he takes a deep breath. It’s fine. It’s fine. Dongho can like Guanlin and that’s fine because – it’s fine. It’s not even a real problem. He shouldn’t feel like he wants to rip his insides out to give them a break from all the twisting he’s felt all week from just – being beside him.

Look for directions, Daehwi. Directions. “Don’t you think you should tell him?”

Dongho furrows his eyebrows at the question. “Tell him what?”

Is he stupid? What the fuck does Dongho think he’s talking about? “I think it’s time we tell him we’re not a thing because he thinks we are. You like him and he’s obviously trustworthy, cool and cute – sure – Seonho might be a bit let down but – whatever – who are Seonho and I to stand in the way of true love?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dongho’s extra careful when he says this. “Yesterday, you said Seonho likes Guanlin and now you’re telling me to date Guanlin – what’s wrong with you?”

“How dense can you be?” He rolls his eyes. “Seonho can like Guanlin all he wants but –  Guanlin? He doesn’t want anyone but you.” 

Dongho stops the car.

Albeit, it’s at a red light but Daehwi can tell he’s caught Dongho off guard by the way his boss looks at him, asking for enlightenment since he’s unable to piece this particular puzzle together himself. “I’m going to repeat myself – Lee Daehwi, what the hell are you talking about?”

“You haven’t been able to tell?”

“Uh – no?” Dongho’s the colour of a fire hydrant. “You really think Guanlin likes me?”

That’s his reaction?

He’s not denying it? Or saying he’s not interested?

“Guanlin spends all day blushing around you. He constantly hits on you using pick-up lines from a pimp’s playbook and today he asked you to come to the after party – emphasizing just how much he wanted you there – “

“He asked you and Seonho too –“

“Those were pity invites.” Daehwi confirms with a smile on his lips. It’s kind of cute that Dongho’s so oblivious to the way these things work. Cute and sad because even if he’s showing Dongho everything Guanlin’s done to get his attention – Dongho won’t ever see those things himself. “Light’s green, by the way. You have a chance at something real – you like him – he likes you – I’m happy for you two – “He’s not. He’s really not happy. He wants to scream and ask Dongho to stop liking Guanlin but how can he ask him that when Dongho’s not even really saying what he means? 

“Daehwi – can you shut the fuck up and stop spouting nonsense for like five minutes till I get you to your friend?”

“What’s the big deal?” He laughs shaking his head. “Guanlin is a nice person – you said so yourself. Anyone would be lucky to have him.”

“Guanlin is nice sure but we’re working together –“

“As of 4pm this evening – you stopped working with him.” Daehwi pulls open the car seat mirror as he plays with his hair. It’s the only avenue for distraction that he has available to him right now since his phone is committed to directions. “Come on – you can’t tell me you don’t think Guanlin’s cute. Hell, I think Guanlin’s cute. He’s the literal definition of tall, dark and handsome-”

“That’s great, Daehwi.” Something in Dongho’s voice snaps now as he shakes his head. “Why don’t you date him, then? I’ll be sure to pass on my congratulations in the group chat?”

“Don’t be passive aggressive.” That’s not fair to Dongho when he knows he’s doing exactly the same thing as he is. “Anyways, why should I date him? Guanlin doesn’t like me – he likes you.”

“Can we drop this please?”

“Why?”

The muscles in Dongho’s neck tighten as his hands grip the wheel a little more tightly. “I’m not about that.”

“You’re not about ‘that’? What does that mean?” There’s incredulity scribbled on his face now because how can Dongho sound angry with him? “He just likes you – it’s not that big a deal. Loads of people like each other.”

“We’re not talking about this.” Dongho shakes his head and the silence festers for all of five seconds till Dongho growls and starts speaking again, more irritated than he was before. “You say whatever you want Daehwi and you like starting trouble. Did Guanlin tell you any of this or is this Lee Daehwi branded bullshit that’s spouting off your mouth again?”

“No – he didn’t tell me.” He admits, silence overtaking the car once again as Dongho turns away from him visibly. “Does he need to tell me? Or tell you? Are we going to forget that the very first time he saw you he tried to grab your balls? Or are we going to fly past that because you had a great week flirting with him in front of me?” To show him just how much he doesn’t appreciate having this conversation, Dongho gives him a glare at another red light. Well, just because it’s hard for Dongho to hear this it doesn’t mean it’s not true. “Look - I’m just telling you because I figure you should know – but fine – if you want to rest oblivious to the fact that someone RIGHT beside you is literally in love with you –“

“Daehwi. Just stop. Stop. Please.”

“Why?”

“There’s nothing there. Just. Please. Stop.”

This response is not geared towards Lai Guanlin.

And now he sits quiet as they breeze past cars with every inch of pressure Dongho places on the accelerator.

But why should he be quiet?

Why should Dongho get to have the last word?

Why does Dongho want to act like nothing should change when everything should change? “I’m not going to stop. You know why? Because I disagree – there is so much there.”

Dongho doesn’t respond.

This time when they stop at a red light, he pokes Dongho in the shoulder forcing the other man to look at him will the full force of his agonized expression. “Daehwi – “

“How can you say that?! How can you even think that? Why can’t you be with someone? I mean you said no to me – and fine – I get it. I’ll deal with it because I really like working with you too and I don’t want to lose that either – and fine – I’ll hold myself back from whatever it is that’s been messing with me when I’m around you but Guanlin? He’s not someone who’s trying to get you down for an easy rebound lay and he’s not even an irritating little intern who makes you the filling of a human burrito roll – “

“Daehwi.” Dongho pushes back quietly as Daehwi huffs. “I know you think you’re doing a good thing – but – this is not something I’m comfortable discussing with you. Or Guanlin. Or anyone, really. I am allowed to choose how I live my life and if it’s alone – then it’s alone. That’s none of your damn business.” Daehwi feels his irritation grow as the GPS warns them that their destination is approaching.

Seriously? “Can you do me a favour?”

“I mean – “ Dongho’s eyes grow squinty, teasing as he turns his head to glance at the car in the back before turning his wheel to parallel park. “I’m going to do you a favour and forget this conversation ever happened but fine – what’s the second favour you want?”

“Can you open your eyes?”

The car comes to a stop and Dongho puts the car in park. “Are my eyes not open?”

“Evidently not.” He gulps back the knot in his throat. “You’re just going to get old and die alone because you’re scared? Scared of Guanlin breaking your heart?”

“I’m not scared Daehwi and more importantly you don’t need to give a fuck about what happens in my life.” Dongho laughs now and if Daehwi thought he was hurting in his bedroom with him this feels infinitely worse because it feels like Dongho’s laughing right at his feelings.

And they’re not laughable. Just because Dongho wants him to not care – that doesn’t mean he can just turn that part of him off. If he could, he’d have done it already. “You don’t need to be alone. That’s all I’m trying to say. Loads of people can be in relationships and miserable at the same time -”

“So what am I supposed to do, then? Date Lai Guanlin to make you happy?” No, actually – that would make him the opposite of happy. “Guanlin doesn’t know me- Guanlin sees me the way he does because I’ve just made all his dreams come true and Daehwi? Hero worship wears off.”

For a second, he’s not sure what to say. Every rejection Dongho throws Guanlin’s way is just one more in Daehwi’s own direction. Dongho looks relieved.

At least, until the words come out of his mouth mumbled so softly that if Dongho hadn’t been listening – he’d never have heard them. “I don’t worship you.”

When he winks one eye open, he sees Dongho blinking at him dumbly. “You should go, Daehwi.”

That sounds about right. “I don’t have to. I don’t want to.”

Dongho groans as he pushes his head into his steering wheel. “Stop talking.”

“But I just told you. I don’t want to.” Like this Kang Dongho looks like an ostrich, the helter skelter big chested bird who can only calm itself down once it’s head is buried deep into the earth.

So they can pretend their problems don’t exist.

But what’s scared Dongho? Because Daehwi’s sure it’s not him. “Why don’t you want to talk more about this?”

“Because we work together.”

“No – that’s the answer you give me but what about the people who you can actually be with?”

Dongho doesn’t respond, not really, but his breaths grow louder, shakier. His eyes squeeze shut and Daehwi swears he hears a yelp of pain as Dongho rubs his head back and forth against the wheel.  “Daehwi – please – stop –“

Daehwi feels his heart twist in his chest but it’s not because of his words, it’s because Dongho looks so scared. He looks so lost and hurt and this is not something his fingers can just massage away.

But maybe – if he’s there for him – maybe – that will help. So he shuts his eyes and lets his own body lean forward against the dashboard, head leaned in towards Dongho’s own. “No.”

Dongho’s head turns to look at him, lips bit so hard that Daehwi swears he spots a fleck of blood on his otherwise pink skin. He shifts closer to him anyways because the moment feels right and – “You should really go.” Dongho mumbles.

“I should?” Dongho’s eyes glance down to his lips and he feels himself grow warm under the heat of his careful eyes. “You sure?”

“Daehwi-“ Dongho chastises him as he gets closer. That’s fine, once they’re kissing – Dongho will stop complaining. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date, right now?”

He stops right at the edge of his lips.

He knew?

He knew this whole time?

“How’d you know?”

“You went up to change your clothes? You were meeting ‘a friend’? Come on. I’m not an idiot.” Dongho’s face rolls back into his steering wheel. “Come on, get out of here - you’re probably already late and I’m too sober to actually think this is a good idea.”

“So let’s go get drunk.” Dongho starts laughing. Daehwi can’t necessarily laugh. Not since his heart is still galloping in his chest but at least his weak joke has served to ease the tension in the car. “I’m not late.”

“Then just go, please, before I make another mistake-”

“But I want you to make it.” Dongho’s head jerks up as it looks at him and Daehwi lets out a shaky breath as he looks straight at him. “The mistake. I want it.”

“Daehwi – please.”

He readies his heart as he shuts his eyes. “Look if you’re so scared – I get it. I know we work together and it’s not right and nothing makes sense and I’m still in love with Jinyoung and – I don’t really know what I want from you – and it doesn’t have to be serious –“

“Daehwi –“

“I don’t even care if we keep it a secret –“

“Daehwi!” Dongho’s hands clap over his ears and Daehwi feels his lips tremble as he sees the lick of anger in his eyes. “LISTEN TO ME. That's not what real relationships  are like and we shouldn't even be having this discussion-"

“Why not? If it’s just between us – then no one has to know – no one has to get in our way – I’m good at keeping secrets-” Whatever it is he was supposed to say to get his way – it was not this because Dongho’s hands have dropped to cover his own face now. Daehwi feels his desperation grows as Dongho’s shoulders move up and down shaking with every breath. “Look at me – please – “ Dongho doesn’t look up. “Dongho – please – “ His fingers grip hard onto Dongho’s hands and pull them away from the other man’s face and he finally gets it done except -

He’s not ready to see what he sees there.

Not at all.

Kang Dongho’s eyes look sad. They’ve looked sad for a while. Those are Dongho’s own words and a reality he’s been forced to face often.

But right now – the Dongho with his eyes, face and lips red livid with a mixture of anger, disappointment and sadness so beyond what Daehwi’s used to seeing from him?

“Daehwi.” This is a Dongho he’s not ready for. “Never say that to me again.”

Why does Dongho get to say that to him and look that upset?

Why does Dongho get to reject him and hurt him?

Why does Dongho have to look like he’s the one hurt by his own words.

So he just nods as quick as he can, feet leaping out of the car.

When he shuts the door, it echoes with a loud bang and he catches sight of Dongho’s fist colliding with the steering wheel.

He marches into the cafe, quickly seating himself at a table so he can shove his head into his hands.

What the hell did he just do? 

No, he shouldn't think about that - because that's not going to help anybody.

God, his life is just one big joke.

 **MaguMagu:** _Hey_ , _I'm here_

 **PaintStick:**   _Cool, be there soon._

Screw his liver, he should have told Euiwoong to meet him at a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....
> 
> so ....
> 
> who wants to kill me?
> 
> yeah...


	13. The Deconstruction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG LONG LONG. Chapter. (I hope it makes up for the long. long. long. time it took between updates :D? EH? EH? Bad joke?)
> 
> Well - really I'm just preparing you all for the bad jokes you'll read below (PS - some of them will be dirty - for those with the delicate sensibilities of Elizabeth Bennet's mother in Pride and Prejuidice - AKA me - I relate a lot to that woman)

“Daehwi! I’m so sorry – I didn’t realize you’d get here so quickly!” Euiwoong is panting as he tumbles into the chair across from him.

It’s been an hour or so since Dongho dropped him off, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like that because all he's done this past hour is go over their last few moments in the car over - and over - and over -

Most people would call him a masochist for indulging in his self-destructive thinking.

But mostly - he's just trying to come up with some way that he can actually face the guy on Monday.

Seriously - what does he even say to him?

Dongho has, for the most part, been a patient and bossy sort of superior. His boss has been kind, direct with his words, and always done his best to make sure his junior producer is set up for success in the future.

And he knows Dongho values him too. He's useful as an intern, if a little irritating because of how stubborn he can be.

Somewhere along the way the two people they are when they're with each other translated into this entity that moved like cogs in a clock – efficient, happy and built to sing songs of better times for all involved.

Today, he took a hammer to their peaceful co-existence, destroying every nut and bolt that connected them to each other like a mad man because he wanted their connection to be made of flesh, arms and grasps at an undefinable emotion.  

Dongho held on for a second, let him dream of their new foundation, before he used their inter-clocked hands to push him away. "Sorry Daehwi – are you mad at me?”

“Huh?” When he looks up, he feels guilty at the sight of Euiwoong leaning forward towards him. 

Right – he’s **_supposed_** to be on a date. Ha. Ha. Ha. “I went to pick up some stuff and then I have my laptop and you know how big science books are – just carrying everything took me like - “

“It’s cool, Euiwoong. I just killed time on my phone.” His half-hearted words are all Euiwoong needs to beam up at him. If anything, he's happy Euiwoong is late! It means Euiwoong cares about this date as much as he cares about this date.

He'd much rather run out, catch the bus to Dongho's house and beg for the explanation he was too cowardly to ask for in the car - 

He groans softly, he needs to stop. It's not worth it. In the grand scheme of things, Dongho's just a vehicle for him to find his own success as a producer some day. Besides Dongho's no winning trophy to write home about. The older man's career is in shambles, he's a confirmed asshole and his sense of humor is atrocious -

While his brain is doing his best to discount Dongho - his heart starts to lurch up in debate.

Dongho’s only starting out again like him because of bad luck. Dongho's a piece of shit sure but he’s so much more than just that. And Dongho’s dad jokes have - on occasion - made him want to split himself in half only so he can throw part of himself in the garbage for laughing.

Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about him. “How did you get here so fast?” 

Right, he's on a date. Is it normal to constantly forget you're on a date while you're on the date? “Ah – my boss drove me over because he had some time to kill?” The image of Dongho behind the wheel reaching for his phone to delete the one and only picture Daehwi has of him flies behind his eyes and he wants to hit himself over the head just so he can stop thinking about him. “You came straight from school?”

“Yeah, I was hanging with my study group. They know I didn't do so hot on one of my tests so they’re helping me out for the next one.” Euiwoong turns to peruse the tea shop menu. “Do you like what you’re having?”

“It’s pretty okay.” He pushes the tea to Euiwoong who takes greedy gulps into his mouth. He should be careful of that -

1…

2…

And there it is, Euiwoong's nose scrunches up so wrinkles line the sides of his mouth as he pushes the tea back in front of Daehwi’s laughing mouth. “What is that?!”

“Grapefruit isn’t everyone’s cup of _**tea**_.” He takes another long sip of his drink, smiling as he watches Euiwoong shudder. 

“Are you in the habit of making bad dad jokes?”

While Euiwoong is busy grimacing at the drink, Daehwi feels his eyes droop downwards as he does his best to ignore the whine his heart just released. “Anyone I’d know in your group?”

Euiwoong freezes for all of a second before a stressed smile floats up to the surface of his face. “Probably – aren’t you pretty popular on campus?” People know him, sure, but he wouldn’t call himself popular. "I’m just going to grab a drink and get back.” Daehwi frowns as he sees Euiwoong dash off to the register before he pulls his phone out again.

He’s just on his way to wording an excellent passive aggressive message to Jihoon to never contact him ever unless Jinyoung is on his death bed when the message notification bar on the top of his screen lights up.

 **ILoveYoo:** _We’re going to go to that after party together right?_

HA! He doesn’t even want to go to work on Monday and Seonho wants him to go to that after-party for Guanlin’s release?

Fat chance. Actually, no, **FATTEST** chance.

Oh god, these bad jokes are starting to infiltrate his brain and the only thing that makes them worse than they already are is the fact he hears them in Dongho’s big fluffy voice –

Why can’t he turn him off? Or at least turn his own thoughts off? Shouldn't he have that much self control?

 **ILoveYoo:** _Guanlin’s party I mean._

NO, SEONHO. GUANLIN’S PARTY? REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER PARTY?

On top of his general reluctance on spending any time alone with Dongho right now – he’s not sure he should be taking Seonho to any parties.

Sure, Seonho is of ‘age’ but with his limited knowledge of Yoo Seonho’s pedigree and background, he has a feeling the other boy 1) doesn’t go to parties and 2) may enjoy them a little too much if Guanlin and liquor are involved.

He's not enabling that kind of messy behaviour. His own bad choices be damned.

 **MaguMagu:** _I wasn’t really planning on coming_

 **MaguMagu:** _Based off today you need your babysitter 24/7 so go with Dongho and take Minhyun hyung with you guys in my place_

 **MaguMagu:** _He’ll make sure you don’t embarrass yourself in front of Guanlin_

 **ILoveYoo:** _????_

 **MaguMagu:** _WOW_

 **MaguMagu:** _Don’t you ???? me_

 **MaguMagu:** _You know what you did today_

 **ILoveYoo:** _????_

 **MaguMagu:** _Okay now we’re definitely not going together._

 **MaguMagu:** _Stop bugging me_

 **ILoveYoo:** _????_

 **MaguMagu:** _I’m on a date_

 **ILoveYoo:** _????_

 **MaguMagu:** _I’m beginning to think your keyboard is broken_

 **ILoveYoo:** _How does hyung feel about that :O?_

 **MaguMagu:** …

 **ILoveYoo:** _????_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Wow – I’m telling_

 **ILoveYoo:** _He doesn’t deserve this_

 **MaguMagu:** _????_

 **MaguMagu:** _Whatever you’re trying to say – just don’t_

 **MaguMagu:** _I don’t appreciate what you and Guanlin did the past two days_

 **MaguMagu:** _Thanks for that mess_

 **MaguMagu:** _And what the hell are you talking about ‘deserve’?_

 **MaguMagu** : _What would you know about what he ‘deserves’?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _…is something wrong?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I was only keeding Daehwi princess-nim :(_

 **ILoveYoo:** _yk ilu and Dongho hyung – separately - I was just joking about you 2 2gethaaa_

 **MaguMagu:** _…_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Still down 2 go 2 the party 2getha w/me?_

 **MaguMagu:** _If I say yes, will you stop bugging me and type like a human?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _What’s your date’s name?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Does he go to Yonsei too?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Can I meet him?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Are you guys going to get MARRIED?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Can I be the GODFATHER?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _leave the gun…TAKE THE CANNOLLI_

 **ILoveYoo:** _If you die - I'll raise the child as my own_

 **ILoveYoo:** _You think Guanlin can be the other godfather? I can't be a single parent_

 **ILoveYoo** _**:** Too stressful and I think Minhyun hyung's duties end once I graduate_

 **MaguMagu:** _you are taking everything in that movie out of context –_

 **MaguMagu:** _His name is_ _Lee Euiwoong. Yes, he goes to Yonsei. No, you cannot meet him and - what is wrong with you?_

 **MaguMagu:** _PS - Marriage between two men isn't legal in Korea yet_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I spent most of my childhood travelling Europe while my mother performed for rich Europeans -_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I NEVER JOKE ABOUT GOOD QUALITY CANNOLLI DAEHWI_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Oh wow – look at that –_

 **ILoveYoo:** _‘Lee Euiwoong, senior from Hanlim receives full scholarship to Yonsei’s Specialized Genetic Sciences program’_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwi's dating a genius?!_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Oh - shit - did you know his transcript is showing some serious grade drops though?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Wow. Part of the science association but he loves to paint!_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Seems nice Daehwi :)_ _I hope you guys get married once it's legal in Korea - I'll sign the petition!_

 **MaguMagu:** _I am 21. I am not getting married_

 **MaguMagu:** _Also – you’re a creep how did you get access to his transcripts?_

 **MaguMagu:** _But thanks for the detail_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I stalk people for fun sometimes_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I blame social media and my high levels of FOMO_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Sometimes because I’m so scared of missing out on stuff I don't make the first move ...and end up missing out anyways?_

 **ILoveYoo:** ___It sucks__ _

**MaguMagu:** _It’s bad but I relate_

 **MaguMagu:** _He’s back. Later._

 **ILoveYoo:** _I know we’ve only known each other for like a few weeks_

 **ILoveYoo:** _But you’re already my best guy friend ever_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I LOVE YOO MAN_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Can I be your best man?_

 **MaguMagu:** _Was that a Paul Rudd/Jason Segel reference?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I LOVE YOO MAN_

 **MaguMagu:** _stfu Seonho_

“Welcome back.” Euiwoong nods towards him, sitting down with a beautiful crafted tea that’s red and bright but topped with tufts of white cloud.

"Thanks!" Euiwoong smiles up at him, happy he's put his phone away.

“What’d you get?” It's Strawberry Mousse Tea. He recognizes it because he’s seen Somi get the same thing countless times before but he still needs a conversation starter. 

“Strawberry Sea Salt Cream Mousse.” Euiwoong reads off the menu as he offers him a taste.

Daehwi sips it, the tart flavour strawberries flooding his mouth before he pushes it back with a smile on his face. Just as good as he remembered it. “I only drink things with two words or less in the drink name –“ The boy across from him makes a face of understanding as Daehwi smiles to himself. “I’d break it for that though.”

“We can always share. I’m not picky about stuff like that.”

“Ah but did you like my grapefruit tea?” The smile on Euiwoong’s face screws on a shade tighter. “Knew it - Lee Euiwoong is a fake!”

“Hey, hey! What does that mean?” Euiwoong laughs alongside him. “You barely know me! How can you say I'm a faker?”

“Yeah, you are.” He demonstrates by parting his hair to mimic the boy in front of him, same stressed smile on his face. “This is the face of a very good liar.”

Euiwoong scoffs. “Doesn’t look like a very good liar at all.”

“Exactly what I mean Lee Euiwoong-ssi.”

Euiwoong snickers as he twirls his tea to mix the mousse in with the strawberry. “Hyeongsub mentioned you're on work-term at a studio right now? Have you met any big celebrities yet?”

Well, Guanlin is tall. Does that fit into Euiwoong’s description of ‘ _big_ ’?  “We do work with some of the big name artists but because we’re an independent group it’s a bit different? We create and circulate our music through all the labels." Euiwoong's eyes haze out in boredom because of course they would - he doesn't care about the intricacies of the distribution part of music production. "Do you know Kim Jaehwan?”

Predictably at the sound of Jaehwan's name - his date's eyes brighten up again. “Kim Jaehwan?! Isn’t he the super famous singer who took a hiatus a while back –“

“Yeah – he’s starting to get more involved in the production side of his career now. He’s pretty much the most successful producer on our team because everyone wants a Kim Jaehwan song!" Hell, he wanted to work on a Kim Jaehwan song just so he could say he'd contributed to one. "I’m at a pretty junior level at my company so I work under a senior producer and my producer's not as established as Jaehwan-" That's not true. Dongho's just established in a different way. “Actually, my producer –” A bitter taste fills his mouth and he quickly gulps down a swig of the grapefruit tea, unhappy to find that it does nothing to remove the flavour of whatever is making his stomach clench like this. “He’s just starting out, his work is going in blind to most of the companies - so a lot of his tracks are drowning in the sea with all the other unknown producers. He's really good though! I'm happy I'm working with him - he's really talented! But - it’s a long story that I don’t even know. All I know is we work work work and then we send out demos and hope for the best from our negotiators -”

“Is that how it works?” Euiwoong pulls his straw up and down through the drink.

Oh, shit, he's ranting about Dongho isn't he? “I know boring, right?”

Euiwoong shakes his head, small smile on his face. “Hey man – sounds more interesting than understanding the role of the hypothalamus in the human body.”

“NO!” Daehwi claps a hand over his mouth. “How can you say that?! My hypothalamus is so offended right now!”

Euiwoong gives him an unamused expression which only makes him laugh harder. “You make a lot of these jokes, huh?”

“Lee Euiwoong-ssi pray – please – tell me how my hypothalamus is helping me right now! I have to know – “

“Well –“ Euiwoong humors him. “The hypothalamus is responsible for the release of 8 major hormones in your body –“

THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE - there's something wrong with his hypothalamus! That's why he's been so messed up around Dongho. He just has to go to the doctor and find a fix for it, no big deal! “A hormonal organ, my spirit organ.”

Euiwoong snorts with such passion that right after he’s left covering his nose  because tea has found its way to said hypothalamus (if that’s even possible). “Technically Daehwi, it’s not an organ by itself since its part of your brain-“ His date pauses to laugh. "I can't believe we're talking about the hypothalamus on our date -"

He can. He's used to talking about things like this. Jinyoung used to bounce words off his ears when he needed help passing his Biology courses. Molecular structure of the cell, the four major components of DNA… he’s heard it all.

He’d even made a cheerleading song for Jinyoung to remember G-C-A-T and considered himself singlehandedly responsible for getting Jinyoung through MGY250H1 otherwise known as ' _I_ _ntroduction to Medical Genetics_ '.

One day - when Jinyoung's cured cancer as he no doubt would with the genius brain that sat inside that stupidly small head of his - Daehwi’d be that idiot giving interviews to everyone who’d listen about what a wonderful asshole Jinyoung is.

He really needs to stop thinking about other boys on this date. So far, he's thought about Dongho, Jihoon, Seonho, Guanlin - and now Jinyoung. He has a perfectly wonderful boy in front of him who deserves his attention. “Well, come on spill the beans. We have to have you pass your next exam right?” It's the tactic he used to use with Jinyoung, repeating these words and teaching someone else who knew nothing at all always helped Jinyoung learn.

Jinyoung would lecture him on the merits of the human circulatory system and Daehwi's own circulatory system would fail every time Jinyoung smiled at him - so definitely win win situation. 

“You sure you’re not getting bored?” Euiwoong looks surprised when Daehwi shakes his head. “Okay, fine – you know how you feel during certain times of the day? Like at night you get sleepy, or in the morning you get hungry? That’s your hypothalamus. It’s meant to control your biological clock.”

“So the reason I’m hungry all the time – it’s because my hypothalamus is broken?”

Euiwoong looks at him a little worried. “Might want to get that checked out, yeah. There’s a part of your hypothalamus that may have given up on you-”

“I don’t think it’s just my hypothalamus that’s given up on me.” He feels an uncomfortable thump in his chest. “But lucky me! I’m on a date with a pre-med superstar.” He doesn’t think much of what he’s saying until he sees the smile on Euiwoong’s face spread wider and then he feels guilty for making Euiwoong feel happy with his words when really he's been a dick this whole date. “Okay – what else?”

“Well – there’s a part of it that can essentially produce certain emotions if stimulated?” Euiwoong is blushing now as he clears his throat. “Like fear or rage or –“

When he starts to choke up, Daehwi throws him a life raft. “Other hormonal feelings?”

“Yeah. But it’s not alone! There’s a lot of other parts of the brain that help create the word ‘ _emotions_ ’ in us, you know? Emotions are an expression of our collective consciousness.”

Something about the way he’s talking with the light in his eyes and snap in his tongue makes Euiwoong feel familiar, attractive and scary all at once. “You know a lot about the hypothalamus – you sure you’re doing poorly in class?”

“Well, I’m no Jinyoung.” The smile on Daehwi's face slips off the instant he hears the name and he sees Euiwoong drop his head into his hands. “Fuck, sorry,” It’s really not a big deal that Euiwoong said his name. Hell, he says Jinyoung’s name in his mind all the time, but he does wish Euiwoong wouldn’t care so much because it just makes things that much more uncomfortable for him. “Sorry Daehwi, I mean, you probably don’t want to talk about him.”

“It’s honestly fine." He lies, putting a forced smile on his face for Euiwoong's sake. "I don’t care that you guys hang out or that you're both friends. It's really fine.”

“Yeah, he's a part of my study group. Jinyoung's been a real help, you know? He's just so nice." Of course, Jinyoung helps anyone and everyone unless it's the person he loves. "He’s the number one student in class too." Of course Jinyoung is the best student in class. Jinyoung's always the best at whatever he tries his hand at.

It's why he'd been so happy when Jinyoung had decided to try his hand at being with him - 

But maybe that was one thing Jinyoung wasn't so good at. “Good for him.” He sips on his tea before he can say something inappropriate.

For a second, when Euiwoong has his head down on the table like this - Jinyoung takes his place.

There’s a book in his long fingers, straw stuck in his mouth with black tea being summoned up to his tongue when desired because pulling it away from his mouth would take eons of effort that Bae Jinyoung cannot muster.

On those dates, Jinyoung wouldn’t talk.

On those dates, Daehwi’d come to learn to listen for the softer sounds in the absence of speech – shifting pages, small sips, snickers, and groans and frustrated tantrums thrown until he’d out right laugh in his boyfriend’s outraged face.

What a fucking nerd Bae Jinyoung was.

What a beautiful fucking nerd.

“I’m sorry – really.”

“It’s cool. I mean, Jinyoung and I are actually okay - I think? He’s with Park Jihoon anyways and I’m happy for them, really. Theirs is an epic love story. Ripped apart to be brought back together! Fated to love each other! I was nothing but a blip in Jinyoung's life anyways.” This must be the wrong sort of joke to make because now Euiwoong looks like he’s uncomfortable. “I think I’ve done a pretty good job of moving on.”

RIGHT - great job he did moving on. He latched onto his boss who - just like Jinyoung - doesn't want him.

He's laughing so hard he's going to start crying. 

Euiwoong coughs into his hands. "Is that really true?"

No, it's not true but can’t Euiwoong pretend for his own dignity and the sake of this weird date? "Do I really have a choice?"

 

 

 

 

He twists his key into the lock of his apartment.

The date with Euiwoong wasn’t necessarily bad – but it wasn’t necessarily all that much of a date either.

It isn’t really the other boy’s fault. They get along well enough, the tea was good enough - but at the end of the day all he learned about himself was that he wasn't ready to be with someone. 

Which just makes him feel like shit for letting Euiwoong take him out because –

 **Euiwoong:** _I had a great time today!_

He groans as his phone delivers an additional scoop of guilt to his plate.

Is Euiwoong serious? He needs to get out more. That was not a good date. 

A good first date is spilling ice cream on each other in the middle of the Hankook Botanical Gardens and slipping through off beaten paths to end up at the most magical lake completely secluded from everyone else so you can kiss each other and kiss each other and kiss each other till only the moon is your witness –

He had spent a lot time planning that date.

Back then, Jinyoung hadn’t wanted to date anyone either.

Just like him now.

But he’d been persuasive, funny, and stubborn –

Jinyoung had been lonely.

Just like he is now. 

“WOW – Lee Daehwi home on a Friday night before 10PM?” Donghyun teases, head shoved into Youngmin’s lap as the couple take up entirely too much space on the couch.

"Hyung -"

“Sorry, guys can you stop talking? I need to take this call.” He didn't hear Youngmin's phone ring but maybe it's on mute... “Yes? Hello? Okay – I’ll let him know.” As both Daehwi and Donghyun turn to look at him, Im Youngmin looks awfully smug. “The devil just called? He wanted to ask if we had a spare room because hell just froze over?”

Youngmin beams up at him proud, like he's looking for praise for his bad joke.

Daehwi stares at him with a blank face. He did the world a favour by not letting them talk to each other. The world’s not ready for the comedy duo that could have been Kang Dongho and Im Youngmin.

“Nice one!” No, Kim Donghyun, you sad excuse for a beautiful person. That’s not even close to what a ‘nice’ one sounds like.

“I hope you know,” Daehwi exaggerates the cold tone of his voice as he passes the couple draped in each other’s laughs. “Donghyun hyung, this is who you’re choosing to spend the rest of your life with.”

“I know, isn’t he great?” Donghyun winks up at Youngmin from his lap which is enough signal for Youngmin to bend his face down and peck Donghyun's lips à la Spiderman. “You know what I pray for every day, Youngmin-ah?”

“What?” Youngmin teases, fingers winding into Donghyun's pretty brown curls.

Donghyun brings his hands to his chest, eyes closed in pure devotion. “That one day our son Daehwi will come home in a good mood.”

WHAT THE FUCK?

Why does he live with these assholes, again?

“Donghyun-hyung, give up –Daehwi enjoys suffering. That's why he's always in a bad mood, nowadays.” He looks up towards the door to see Woojin enter. “And Daehwi - why are you third wheeling so bad? Leave them alone – it’s Friday night. They deserve some downtime.” Woojin’s not wrong and on any other day he’d give Donghyun and Youngmin privacy but today he doesn’t really want to.

They’re watching 'Train to Busan' on the big screen T.V. Everyone knows horrific ways people die is his favourite thing to watch on T.V.

Plus, Gong Yoo's on T.V. - and sure he's a little old - but he's aged like fine, fine wine. “One day Park Woojin, if you were on a train to Busan - like you so often are - I would wish you good riddance.”

“OH – OH – OH – DAEHWI  –“ Donghyun leans over to give him a high five, shit eating grin on his face. “That was a nice one.”

While inside his heart his soaring, he makes sure to keep his expression neutral as he pushes his hand backwards to high five Donghyun. “Glad to know we’re setting a baseline for nice ones – Youngmin hyung’s was horrible.”

“I know but he’s just so cute when he makes jokes – even bad ones.” This time Donghyun leans upwards to capture Youngmin's laughing lips into his own. This kiss lasts just long enough for Daehwi to feel guilty that he was looking at them at all.

Woojin comes into their living room space, landing on the armchair across him with a thump as he throws his legs over the wide leather arms. That armchair really was a steal for something they took off the side of the road. “Euiwoong said the date went well!”

Oh. Fuck.

How does he tell Woojin that Euiwoong doesn’t know what he’s talking about?

“That's funny. That guy did not look like an ‘Euiwoong’ at all…” Youngmin offers him the bowl of popcorn which Daehwi takes, grateful to be able to shove mouthfuls of Donghyun and Youngmin’s dinner into his already full belly just to avoid talking to Youngmin about Dongho and talking to Woojin about his date.

“You brought Euiwoong home? Already?!" Woojin’s question leaves much to be desired so Daehwi leaves it with no response which Park Woojin takes as a clear indicator that a change in conversation topic is required. “Why are you guys watching Train to Busan?”

Ah, finally. Something he can answer. “Blood turns Kim Donghyun on.” Donghyun tries to throw a pillow at his head but Daehwi’s faster than him so he catches the pillow in his hands and shoves it behind his back. “Donghyun hyung, you are the best! How did you know that my lumbar needed support?”

Donghyun’s flipping him off.

“Look at you –lumbar support -“ Woojin’s teasing snicker is making him feel guilty again. “In one date, you're talking like a science kid - before you know it you’ll transfer majors to be in the same classes.” Daehwi keeps his gaze to the floor and Woojin leaps off towards the fridge. “Beers, anyone?”

“Me please!” Donghyun cheers as Youngmin pecks his forehead. “Okay, one for Youngmin too.”

“Cider please! And hyung, how did you know Youngmin wanted a beer?” Daehwi catches the can Woojin throws his way, cracking it open with ease. “I don’t get it.”

“It’s easy –“ Donghyun shrugs as he takes the two  beers from Woojin’s outstretched hands, sitting up to give one to Youngmin. “Everything Youngmin does? I’ve learned to try to understand what it means.”

“Are we giving Daehwi lessons on how to be in love?” Youngmin winks at the love of his life as Donghyun throws an arm over Youngmin's shoulders.

Daehwi feels his face flush up. Did Youngmin really have to put it like that? “I’m only asking for Woojin. You should have seen Hyeongsub at the paint night. The little fairy looked like he could burn Woojin alive and not regret it. He even called him a cub -”

Woojin throws another pillow at his head. “At least, I’m in a relationship where the sex is great so I think I can handle that my partner wants to kill me now and then – ”

Daehwi coughs into his hands. “Loud doesn’t always mean good.” 

“Lee Daehwi, what’d you say?” Woojin glares at him.

He’s not scared. Woojin’s all out of pillows. “I’m just saying, you guys could install some sound proofing in your room if you're going to be yelling each other's names in the middle of the night when Hyeongsub's riding your ' _Train to Busan_ ' -"

“Woojin-ah, sex for sex’s sake is not a healthy relationship.” Youngmin chastises. “Trust me – I know.”

“He does.” Donghyun coos. “He was a hard rapper before he became my soft rapper.” That’s another thing Daehwi doesn’t get, how is Donghyun so relaxed talking about that? How does he not care that he’s not Youngmin’s every thing and every moment? He accepts his past just as wonderfully as he accepts their future. “Anyways, where were we?”

Woojin’s response is more snarky than inviting. “You were about to tell us more about Youngmin hyung's sex life than we ever wanted to know?” 

"I was not! He wouldn't like that." Donghyun pinches Youngmin on his thigh which to normal couples would be irritating but it just makes Youngmin smile like a dumb puppy at his boyfriend. “Right, so - how I know what Youngmin's thinking - is basically I translate what he's doing into how he feels? For example, if Youngmin is not drooling on the pillow. He has not had a good night’s rest.”

The drooler in question lets out a refreshingly loud sigh. “That is so true!”

“And – if Youngmin comes home sulking and drowning in negative vibes – it’s because he's sad, that's usually when someone told him he looked like an alpaca again.”

The mere word 'alpaca' is enough to get the cherry tomato lookalike in their house to pout and start shaking his head. “I don’t get it – I just don't get it -“

“It’s your chin, love. And your long legs and the fact that you move cute and slow and your neck is long and you look perpetually sleepy with these cute puffy things - and that I go around telling everyone you look like that -“ Donghyun leans into the corner of Youngmin’s eyes to press little pecks to each side.

Okay, this is less about Donghyun helping either him or Woojin and more about the lovesick fool singing ‘ _These are a few of my favourite things_ ’ channeling the goddess Julie Andrews herself.

Except instead of brown paper packages tied up with strings – Im Youngmin is the personification of all of Donghyun’s favourite things.

And maybe that’s the answer. Donghyun just embraces all of Youngmin in a way that’s so wholly accepting that maybe Youngmin has no choice but to love all of Donghyun back.

It makes Daehwi uncomfortable to realize he’s never managed to do that with any partner he’s ever had before. Not to the extent Donghyun has at least.  

To date, his only serious relationship had been with Jinyoung and Jinyoung had been in two serious relationships. One with him and one with Jihoon.

As wonderful as Jinyoung was, he never had managed to fall in love with the vindictive quiet of their fights, or the pleading look that begged for his understanding, or the insistence for space and distance –

Maybe that's why Jinyoung never fell out of love with Jihoon - maybe Jihoon did accept him in a way Daehwi never could.

The realization guts him more than he's caring to reveal so he looks to Woojin, maybe his friend is doing better looking at the example of Donghyun and Youngmin - maybe Woojin is in love with everything that makes Hyeongsub, Hyeongsub.

Woojin's doing something all right. He's staring at Youngmin and Donghyun – **_hard._** “Woojin-ah, just record it if you’re getting that into Donghyun and Youngmin -”  

The couple in question are trying very hard to not be aware of their surroundings if the shushing sound Donghyun is making is any indication.

Woojin glowers at him. “Why does your garbage mouth exist in this world?”

“I'm not the one staring! You are! That’s weird from the only other guy in the room in a relationship.” He takes his phone out to respond Euiwoong. Ghosting on Hyeongsub's friend, as wonderful as it sounds, would make him an asshole.

And he's already felt like enough of an asshole all day - he doesn't need to feel like that again. 

He’s just about to start a new message when he realizes Yoo Seonho’s name has the number 6 beside it.

What the –

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii did you read it?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii COME ON._

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii THIS IS IMPORTANT._

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii respondddddd_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwi! CHECK YOUR EMAIL._

“Daehwi – why are you opening your laptop this late?” He waves Donghyun’s questions off with a wave of his hand as he puts his password into the computer, heart caught in his throat.

New messages start buzzing on his phone like Seonho’s been waiting all this time for him to read the messages but his stupid laptop is still booting up.

 **ILoveYoo:** _I’m sorry_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I didn’t know this would ACTUALLY happen_

 **ILoveYoo:** _I WAS JOKING when I suggested it to Minhyun hyung_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Are you mad at me?_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Please don’t be_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Daehwi – I really didn’t know_

He puts the phone away. He can’t respond to these cryptic messages yet anyways and the more he reads his way through Seonho’s panic attack miles away, the more he feels like he’ll have one of his own.

After what seems like ages, his inbox loads up and his eyes bug out as he spots a name he hasn’t seen since he started at the top of his inbox.

Mina’s sent him an email with the subject line _‘Mid-Term Update’_.

But, why would Mina send him an email? She’s HR and they barely talk beyond the polite ' _Hi, Hello_ ' garbage spouted off to people in other departments.

He clicks on the subject line and with every word read the picture in his mind grows a little less fuzzy as he puts the sentences up against Dongho's words from earlier today. 

 

 

>  
> 
> _Jaehwan and I have been talking about me taking on a leadership role with him_
> 
>  
> 
> _Just – deal with it. Life’s not going to always go your way_
> 
>  
> 
> _Never say that to me again._

 

He’s really doing this. The fucker’s really doing this.

“Daehwi?” Donghyun’s voice is soft as he stares at his screen. He can’t look away. He just keeps reading the words over and over again. “Daehwi – is everything okay?”

Shut it off. Shut it off. Shut it off.

He manages to close his eyes and bang his laptop shut but he isn’t quite able to turn off his heart banging away at his chest like it’s begging for some sort of release and Daehwi wants to yell at it to stop because Dongho already told them in very very clear words that nothing's going to happen. “It’s fine.”

“Daehwi –“ Donghyun doesn’t sound like he believes him. 

It should be fine but it doesn’t feel fine.

It’s not like he doesn’t understand why Dongho did this. In his shoes, maybe if he wanted to disregard his own issues and live in a  non-existent bubble – maybe Daehwi would have done the same thing.

But it shouldn’t hurt. It’s not like Dongho didn’t warn him. Hell, Dongho’s done him a favour by all measures of the word. Jaehwan is who he wanted to work with anyways and now he’s finally going to get what he wanted out of this internship when he’d started but -

Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. FUCK him.

Who the hell needs such a coward in his life anyways? "I'm fine hyung, but I think I'm going out okay?" He quickly switches his phone conversation to the only person he feels comfortable complaining to.

 **MaguMagu:** _Can I come over?_

 **SomSomi:** _Ehhhhh why?_

 **SomSomi:** _Want to come out with my girls and I tonight?_

 **MaguMagu:** _Why?_

 **SomSomi:** _We’re bored – bring Dongho :P_

 **MaguMagu:** _No_

 **SomSomi:** _…_

 **SomSomi:** _Everything okay?_

 **MaguMagu:** _No_

 **MaguMagu:** _Not okay_

 **MaguMagu:** _He pretty much fired me_

 **SomSomi:** _WHAT?! WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT_

 **SomSomi:** _WHAT?!_

 

 

 

 

 

“You are so dramatic – this email only says you’re switching senior producers.” Somi yawns from the bed where her legs are currently tilted up on the wall with his laptop on her chest as they analyze the email for the umpteenth time. "Daehwi you really didn’t need to freak out this bad.”

Yes, he does need to freak out that his boss is trying to get rid of him. “YOU don’t know the whole story.”

“So - ?” She trails off, eyebrows raised.

Somi’s very pretty but he’s not sure why she’s just looking at him like some kind of idiot who can’t finish her sentences. “So, what?”

“I’m still waiting, dumbass.”

Despite Somi’s expectant look, the whole story can’t find it’s way out of his mouth. “I tried to kiss him today.” This little outburst of information is better. He can’t say much more. He can’t admit to much more because admitting what he feels out loud when it’s just been shot down in the most ridiculous manner he’s ever had to face –

Well – he doesn’t even want to start unraveling that part of him.

“So –“

Somi's a good friend. She's approaching with caution so she hurts him less than Dongho already has because of the word _'try_ '. “It didn’t work.” 

“Well,” Somi lets out a breath, hand reaching forward to his. “I’m sorry if I made you feel this way.” When he starts laughing, Somi looks confused as she tilts her head to the side. “Why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry – it’s just – you made me feel this way? Are you high?”

Somi pouts, hand on her chest affronted by his accusation. “Well, not to take credit for your emotional turmoil or anything – but yeah! I was the one who told  you he was a fine dish to sink your teeth into post-world war Bae Jinwoon version –“

"You and I both know his name is Bae Jinyoung." Somi rolls her eyes. "And it's not your fault Somi.” Most of what happened today is his fault, with a shred of responsibility lying on Dongho’s shoulders for once upon a time kissing him back. “I didn’t tell you this but – you know the day you called me in the morning for your eyeliner?” Somi’s mouth parts open, head nodding in quick little shifty movements as he heaves another burden of his chest. “There was a storm that night, right?”

“In your life?” He flicks her head.

That was a little too real given the circumstances. “Dongho just brought me to his house that night because of the rain. I thought he'd drive me home but he was drunk so I stayed over and -" He takes a deep breath as he remembers Dongho's face decorated with Somi's eyeliner. "Somehow one game of Mario and a plate of Kimchi fried rice later –  “

“YOU HAD –“ Somi’s jaw drops as he quickly shakes his head. “Okay – but – you guys at least made out right?”

“Yeah – pretty much.” Even if he sounds weak with his admittance, Somi’s squealing as she bounces on her bed. “What the hell are you so excited about?”

Somi sits up on the bed now, legs crossed over each other as she looks at him with happiness in her eyes. “I knew there was something there!"

Has she not been listening to this conversation? Is his best friend delusional? “Don’t say shit like that Somi – he just fired me.”

“Okay, I still think you’re being a bit dramatic." Is he being dramatic? Dongho did tell him there was a chance he’d get shifted to Jaehwan, maybe this email was already timed to go out. Or was this a way for Dongho to push him away in a more official manner? "The email says they feel like it’s necessary for you to get experience with Jaehwan since the other kid got experience with Dongho – it doesn’t mean you only get to work with him forever.“

He thinks back to the messages he’s left read on his phone.

He should respond to Seonho but he is a little mad at him for starting this mess. “You don’t get it Somi.”

“Okay – so why don’t you tell me?” She shrugs and he groans again. Where does he even start? “Look, you can sit here and bitch more. I’m okay with that. But - wouldn’t it be more productive for us to work through whatever you’re feeling?” Ouch. “Am I wrong?”

“No. You never are.” He admits, eyes pricking up again. He bites his lips as hard as he can to deflect from the ache in his chest. “Dongho told me he doesn’t - want me.”

“Well, did you want him?” That’s such a loaded question. How is he supposed to answer that when he’s so torn up about the shambles of his life? The truth is his internship with Dongho was the only thing going well in his life and one night he happened to realize Dongho is one of the most attractive humans he's ever laid his eyes on. Somehow all these pieces together coupled with a need to fix whatever it is that's made Dongho's life this way has caused a bigger mess than he'd bargained for. “Since you’re taking too long to respond – I’m going to assume you don’t want him.” He feels his heart lurch up against Somi’s claim as he shakes his head quickly. “Okay – so you do want him?”

He shakes his head. He nods his head. He does a full on circle with his head like he's trying to stretch out his neck muscles because he's getting a headache with how complicated everything is between them and he's 100% certain it's all his fault.  “How am I supposed to know what I want?”

“Well, god, Daehwi - I wouldn't want you either.” Somi’s cackling up at him as he snarls at her. This hoe is having too much fun at his expense. “Come on, like you'd want to be with someone who doesn't even know if they want you? Isn’t that the whole reason you left Jinwoon? He couldn't decide?”

OKAY, BUT WHY IS SHE MAKING ALL VALID POINTS – ALL HE WANTED WAS TO CRY IN HIS BEST FRIEND’S LAP AS SHE RAN HER HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR AND PROMISED HIM SHE’D BURN DONGHO’S APARTMENT DOWN. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?  “You are such a bitch.”

Somi starts clapping for herself. “I could be a fake ass bitch – or a real ass bitch. I choose to be the latter, my friend.”

“He doesn’t make it easy to know if I want him. Every time he pushes me away – I get a little less confident in whatever it is I'm feeling until I'm not sure what it is I'm feeling.” He leans his head back against the bed frame to look up at the glow in the dark stars that have decorated Somi’s ceiling for so many years. Today, they give him the reassurance that at least some things in his life haven’t changed. “I just don’t get it. I don’t get what he’s so scared of.”

While he’s here having epiphanies, Somi’s filing her nails and blowing the dust off them. “I don’t know – you’re pretty scary, Daehwi. You’re a lot for anyone to handle.”

He did not sign up to have his character assassinated like this today. “EXCUSE ME - when did I say Dongho's scared of me?!”

"Well, I'm scared of you and we're best friends - so just think about how someone like him feels."

"He's a big muscular idiot -"

"Yeah, he is!" Somi winks at him and he feels his brain burn up in thoughts and memories of exactly what Dongho feels like against him. Somi, while not having any of these memories at easy access, has the vocabulary to speak to them. "Big arms and big thighs and I'm sure he has a big -" 

She looks at him and Daehwi blinks at her for a few seconds till he's sure she's going to stop making him want to throw himself out of her bedroom window. "Are you done?"

"I mean - for now." Somi sticks her tongue out at him. "Keep talking."

"He could defend himself from me - "

"I mean - can he though? He did kiss you right?"

He groans. “There’s something else there SoSo. Something else holding him back."

“Look if it’s not you Dongho’s scared of - then great! You really don’t have anything to worry about. I think you’re over thinking this Jaehwan switch.”

“No.” Daehwi bangs his head against the wall, forehead rolling side to side against the cool plaster as he stays stubbornly of the opinion that this is the worst thing in the world. “I’m convinced he did this because he doesn’t want to look me in the eye after what I said to him today.”

“Man, this really is the story that keeps on giving –“ Somi sounds exhausted as she pulls her shoulders up and pulls his head away from the wall to look him straight in the eyes. “Lee Daehwi - what did you say to your sexy boss today?”

He has a feeling he's going to get an earful but Somi doesn't know! IN THE MOMENT - EVERYTHING FELT FINE!  “I asked him to date another boy we’re working with.” Somi – like Dongho – looks very confused. “He said no.” Now, she looks optimistic. “So I asked him if he’d want to mess around with me –“ Somi’s jaw drops as she shuffles back from him, slapping her hand against the bed. “In secret.”

“Please – don’t say there’s more to this!” She shrieks, trying her best to not laugh and cry at the same time. “Daehwi – I love you – but like – seriously? Did you really think that would work on your **_boss_**?” Okay – obviously – in the light of space and distance from the power that is Kang Dongho’s magnetism as a human burrito roll he can see that asking him to make him his side piece was stupid BUT Somi wasn’t there! She doesn’t know everything! “Out of curiousity, what did he say?”

“He told me to never ask him that again and then – he kinda looked like he was going to –“ His lips stop as the memory of Dongho’s face flies back to his eyes. Somehow, he has a feeling Somi wouldn’t appreciate being told that he’s pretty sure he made Dongho cry. “Fuck.”

“Uh – “ Somi stretches her lips, teeth pressed together in an awkward perfect smile. “I mean if I asked one of the senior stylists at the salon I part-time at to screw me on the side, I don’t think it’d go over so well. Pretty sure, Doyeon would say yes though – “

Now, she knows everything. Everything that’s important anyways. “So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Go to work. Be cool!” She is so unhelpful. What does ' _be cool_ ' even mean?! “Also - respond to your friend. He’s probably having a heart attack.” 

Right – he hasn’t texted Seonho back yet and considering the other boy sounded like he was having a heart attack earlier tonight – the Yoo piano prodigy + social dumb ass might already be dead.

 **MaguMagu:** _Seonho – sorry I got a little busy and didn’t respond right away_

 **MaguMagu:** _I’m really excited to work with Jaehwan!_

 **MaguMagu:** _See you Monday_

Good enough. He doesn't need to kiss Seonho's ass.

 **ILoveYoo:** _See you Monday princess :)!_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Also also – just so you know what you’re getting into –_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Jaehwan likes it when you’re in at 7:30AM  cause he's in at 7:45AM - but you'll get to leave early because he barely has a schedule to follow beyond that_

 **ILoveYoo:** _He likes his coffee black with two sugars (he’ll tell you it’s one but it’s really two - he'll make you send it back if it just has one)_

 **ILoveYoo:** _He really likes it when you layer crescendos with a heavy bass drop and –_

 **ILoveYoo:** _Thanks for responding_

“OH my god. Is he the most precious thing or what?” Somi laughs as she reads past Seonho’s messages. “You should date him! He sounds so nice!"

He’s tired of his love life and he’d very much like it if he didn’t date anyone or try to date anyone in the near future. “Yeah – yeah – everyone loves Yoo Seonho!"

“Don’t be jealous, Daehwi.” Somi pulls her lips into her mouth, licking them as she tries to hold back laughter at her own shitty jokes. “I’m sure Dongho’s not going to fall in love with him.”

THIS BITCH. “HA HA HA – SOMI SO FUNNY -"

"I know I know - oh my god - I have more - can I tease you more?"

"Shut the fuck up.” He mumbles rolling into Somi’s covers.

At least for now – he does feel a little better.

Maybe he was always meant to work with Jaehwan.

Maybe this is the world just putting all their pieces back into the spots they belong in.

And maybe this is better because the world is telling him he doesn’t belong by Dongho's side.

And maybe one day – he’ll feel okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of Train to Busan jokes in this chapter - that's really why this happened.


	14. The Groundbreaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
> 
> sorry this was so delayed - my life kind of went up in flames for a moment in time and I wasn't able to focus on some of the stories that use up a lot of my creative juices (because there was so little of them)
> 
> if you're still reading this - thank you <3 
> 
> and as always - I hope I totally fuck up everything you thought was going to happen.
> 
> ps - editing took me wayyy longer than normal because all of this chapter was written today and i'm literally fainting in my bed so imma dip for now and respond to the reviewers tomorrow <3 as always - i love you all.

 “Good morning! I hope you had a great weekend, Jaehwan and I'm really looking forward to being your new intern! I thought to start us off  - I’d get connected to your shared drive so I already had IT process that request - you just need to approve it and I was hoping to talk to you about some of your newer songs because I'm really hoping we get to build something together from scratch! I just really want to make sure I'm vocal about my expectations but please let me know if they're unrealistic - I'm so deeply honoured to have the chance to work with you and please let me know what I can do to make your life easier because you're Kim Jaehwan - and I know what a busy schedule you have and I just - I really want to help! You!"

Jaehwan drops his bag on the floor. 

“Also – here’s your coffee, one sugar.”

It appears to him that he's grossly overestimated Jaehwan's mental capacity on Monday mornings. Maybe he should have saved the speech for later this afternoon.

Jaehwan picks his bag up from the floor (if you can call dragging it across the floor that) and takes a seat by the soundboard before gesturing for him to come drop the coffee off on his coaster. “Are you all moved in, Daehwi? Monday morning was really about having you and Seonho just kind of - swap desks.”

“Glad you asked! I am 100% moved in! Just couldn't wait to start working with my idol!” He came in extra early – around the ungodly hour of 6:30AM – to make sure he had enough time to move out pretty much everything from Dongho’s studio to Jaehwan’s.

In fact, he had so much spare time after he'd pulled all his stuff from Dongho's studio to Jaehwan's that he even had the chance to make Seonho a little care package that came along with precise instructions on how to manage Dongho’s expectations of his junior producer.

He figured since the younger boy did the same for him – he might as well show him a similar courtesy. The email wasn’t too descriptive or nonsensical. It covered some of the typical stuff like how Dongho prefers a collaborative working process so it’d be best if Seonho always came prepared to everything with his own point of view and that if Dongho’s upset with him that it might just be best for Seonho to leave him alone so Dongho has enough time to cool off. 

Granted, it would have been very nice if Daehwi took his own advice but the fact remains that he's had the chance to learn these lessons so Seonho never has to. 

His forehead wrinkles together and he shakes his head.

He needs to stop talking like that.

Even in his head.

It just makes him feel all achey, twisted and strange. “Thanks for coming in early and getting set up. That was very proactive of you and I appreciate your forward thinking -" He beams, waving a hand in Jaehwan's direction like - it aint no thanggg. "However, for now, I need a little time to process what you've shared with me. I'd prefer if we took our time together this morning to cover off the projects Seonho had championed that you'll be taking over for me, Daehwi. Are we aligned?” Jaehwan lets out a breath looking very much like he’s spent most of this last weekend drinking himself into a coma. This is entirely possible given Jaehwan is probably a celebrity first and a producer later and celebrities party pretty hard. Hey, maybe he'll get invited to a party! “Also this afternoon, I'll be running out of the studio because my agency called me to say a spot on Knowing Brothers opened up last minute and that goes till tomorrow morning so I won’t be coming in. We can go over your agenda sometime later?"

Oh.

Right.

It is different working with a celebrity. “Not a problem at all – I can definitely keep myself occupied!” He tries not to look too disappointed but he’s failing. It may be selfish of him to expect anything more but -he doesn’t want to waste any of the time he gets to spend with Jaehwan and he can only hope now that Jaehwan’s schedule sucks so that they'll have time to really get into the nitty gritty of working with each other the way he did with Dongho.

Jaehwan picks his coffee up to sip it, he lets out a sigh. Still, this is better than nothing. If all he does is clean up and deliver coffee - at the end of the day it still goes on his resume and some titles like ' _Junior Producer to Kim Jaehwan_ ' are worth more than the experience he got working with Dongho.

Donghyun would chastise him that he’s being negative again but he’s a little too preoccupied with his present envy of Yoo Seonho to think too much of Donghyun's disappointment in him. 

And Jaehwan appears to have noticed his response has softened the eagerness with which Daehwi greeted him because he throws him a bone in the form of something a little more exciting than the backlog of Seonho’s projects. “Hey – want to hear something interesting?”

“Yes! Please!” He’s on the swivel chair and knocking straight into Jaehwan’s in the blink of an eye. 

The older man laughs, plugging his headphone jack splitter into his laptop. “Kay – get your headphones out –”

“Of course – just one sec.” He dashes back towards the drawer he’d organized all his bits and pieces in – the pens are there on the right hand corner pressed to the post-its, there's a small collection of charging cables curling over each other pretending not to be all that messy –

Where the fuck are his headphones? “Is something the matter?”

“No – “ He laughs pulling out his stash of green tea, candy gummy bears and a hand lotion. Jaehwan watches with awe at the number of items emerging from his desk which now include a notebook, a voice recorder, Q-Tips, Polysporin, Aspirin, a box of Kleenex - “I’m so – sure – I brought everything.” Fuck, fuck fuck  - “They’re brand new too –“

“It’s not a big deal Daehwi. Just go get them and come back. I could use the 5 minutes it takes you to run there and back to finish up some of the breathing exercises I missed this morning." Daehwi looks up to his new boss with a few more questions on why Jaehwan's doing breathing exercises than he’s sure he’s allowed to ask. “Go and come back soon - the sooner you come back the sooner we can get started!"

That's true.

But it doesn't make it any easier to go back there.

It’s after 7:30AM now and Dongho – workaholic Chewbacca that he is – will be in the office.

And that's one person he'd like to avoid meeting for as long as possible given the last time they were in the same small enclosed space together he made Dongho cry and Dongho made him feel sadder and angrier than he's felt - ever.

Plus, he's really good at doing things he wants so really best case scenario if he wants to avoid Dongho - he really will - for the rest of his life. 

How sad would it be if his track record of doing things he wants is thwarted not only by Dongho's insistence to not be kissed but also by some stupid headphones?

Too sad, friends. Too sad. 

He goes to his backpack and pulls out a dust flecked, rainbow coloured speaker that he bought on a whim because Kim Chi looked cute endorsing it on Instagram. “Actually, I have a portable Bluetooth speaker! We can both listen without headphones!”

Jaehwan - like any producer worth his title - looks at the speaker like it's born from a helldog. “Daehwi – seriously I don’t mind – just go. Half the clarity will be lost on that thing – where’d you even get it?”

“Instagram.” He admits, lip twisted into his mouth as he gets up from the chair, frame hanging loose as he walks towards the door before turning around brightly with one last ditch effort. “Can I use your headphones? Do you have a spare? I swear I cleaned my ears out - look - I have Q-Tips!”

“Daehwi –“

“I’m leaving – I’m leaving.” He assures Jaehwan who looks a little relieved to have some peace and quiet to nurse his hangover.

Well, at least he learned something valuable from that experience.

Jaehwan would probably appreciate it if he was a little less – helpful - than he is right at this moment.

Helpful’s too nice a word - the correct word is eager. And somehow Jaehwan's attitude towards his excitement has only made this glass half full attitude of his turn into glass half empty. 

His old studio is a bit of a walk away in the back corner of the building and hidden away from the more premium, wooden paneled and natural lit area where Jaehwan’s studio is situated. Still, he appreciates the relative measure of privacy Dongho's hallways offer - coming off resembling a women's prison more than a studio.

With every step, his feet feel heavier, ankles squeezed tighter like they'd like nothing more than to run back to Jaehwan and just quit because nothing can be worth this ache inside of him -

Hey! Maybe that is what he should do – he can just quit!

That’s not even that bad an idea. If he quits, it's game over! Forget avoiding Dongho - any chance of meeting the other man will disappear into thin air. He’d never met Dongho before MNet and God seems like a kind enough dude that he’ll afford Daehwi a similar future should he leave MNet now –

He turns around ready to run back to Jaehwan's office with a fiery no nonsense look in his eyes. He’s going to claim his future. He’s going to define his own destiny. 

Quitting is the answer he's been looking for all this time! Sure, his school might be upset with him - but what do they know of the emotional anguish he feels every time he sees Kang Dongho's eyes? 

He doesn’t need this damn –

His thought ends abruptly when he feels a force knock straight into his chest pushing him backwards until he's landed on the floor with a loud thump. “FUCKING –“

“Lee Daehwi –“ The voice threatens and he feels his spine stiffen as he tries to keep his eyes on the ground. He's not the only one who has fallen - fuck - fuck – fuck – “Do you mind sharing what on earth was so important this Monday morning that you’re trying to run people over with your unnecessarily long clumsy legs – “

Okay – SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY? DOES HE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HIS LEGS? WHY? WHY? THERE’S NO VALUE TO THIS OTHER THAN TO MAKE DAEHWI WONDER IF HE LIKES LONG LEGS –

He lifts his head to see Kang Dongho looking back at him like Daehwi’s the last person he wanted to see on Monday morning.

Okay, so maybe Dongho doesn’t like long legs just like Dongho doesn’t like him.

And you know what - “The feeling is mutual.” Oh - he hadn't meant to say that out loud. What he'd meant to say out loud is ' _Fuck off Kang Dongho, who the fuck needs you in this world?_ '

This was a remarkably more polite response! He claps a hand over his back to applaud his professionalism in the face of the person he's both apologetic and angry towards. 

For now, angry looks like it's winning. 

“What?” Dongho blinks up at him dumbly from the ground, head tilted to the side like he’s trying to solve a particularly complicated word puzzle. "Are you feeling okay?"

“Uh - don't ask me things like that.” He snarks back lifting himself off the ground so he can start dusting his jeans off.

“Wow –“ A less observant person may not have noticed Dongho speak at all because the word is uttered more with soft contempt than the astonishment it's usually communicated with. "You're not even going to help me up, huh?”

His hands stop slapping at his legs and he looks down at Dongho, expression ice cold. 

He was going to help him - sure - right after he finished dusting himself off.

But now that Dongho's trying to make this personal - well fuck him. "You should learn to pick yourself up when you fall down. Other people won't always be there, especially for you! You spend so much time trying to make sure no one ever wants to be there for you.” He shrugs, saccharine sweet smile stuck to his lips as he marches off towards the studio without the producer who owns it.

Was that a little too much savage in one sentence?

Maybe -

Does he care?

No. Hell no.

The idiot looks like he’s spent half his life building his body up with these big beautiful muscles - he can definitely use them to pick himself up off the floor if he's going to spend the rest of his time making sure no one ever gets to admire them. 

IN FACT – upon closer observation – maybe Dongho’s just too used to him. After all, Daehwi’s been so entrenched in helping Kang Dongho that Dongho's come to rely on him for assistance just as much as he does for feedback.

Well, no more. Dongho needs to learn that Daehwi’s not always going to be there.

After all, isn’t that one of the consequences of pushing someone else away?

He should learn that too.

Okay – maybe he’s pulling this a little too long and far but it's helping him feel a little more vindicated in his choices as he walks away from a lumbering, shuffling Dongho. “I realize that you and I –“

OKAY - NO - no - he can't just go around saying that like it's no fucking big deal to even utter that phrase -

HA! ‘ _You and I ?_ ’'

What ‘ _You and I ?!'_

He’s so distracted by his own anger, he doesn’t realize that he’s walked straight into a wall. "Can you stop talking please?! My head hurts because of you -"

“Okay – now I’m starting to think you’re hungover.” He turns around to give Dongho a grueling expression as the other man shrugs. “Don’t act like that’s not characteristic of you –“

“The ONE time I came in like that it was because I was getting over a break up. You know what'd be great? If some people in this hallway started showing some compassion towards their -” Dongho looks affronted that he's been called out for insensitivity because he's immediately come close to put a hand on Daehwi's forehead.  “What the fuck are you doing?”

Dongho blinks. “Showing compassion, Daehwi.”

Seriously? Is this guy for real? Is Dongho this dumb or is he just trying really hard to irritate him?

Oh who is he kidding – Kang Dongho is definitely doing this to irritate him and his ex-boss also happens to be dumb enough to not realize the impact this sarcastic action of his has on his ex-employee's heart. “Kang Dongho-nim – I hit my head.” He grabs Dongho’s hand and now that Dongho’s the one on the receiving end of an unwelcome physical gesture, his eyes light up with alarm.

"So you're fine?" He drops Dongho’s hand from his and offers the other man a smile that shows him he’s calling him on his bullshit.

The bullshit that Dongho’s saying and not saying. “I’m not feverish but I'm not fine either. Obviously.”

Dongho has the shame to look down which - if Daehwi’s being honest – makes him feel pretty good. He likes knowing he’s made Dongho feel a little bad because all weekend that’s pretty much how he felt because of the man walking by his side now.

God, he wishes this guy would just give up - can't Dongho tell he's just trying to outpace him right now? “Why are you going towards my studio?”

WOW.

WOW.

He’s not even allowed into the STUDIO he spent the last two months in? The space he used to call his SECOND HOME? “What did you just say?”

“I didn’t mean it like that – I mean – aren’t you supposed to be with Jaehwan right now –“ Dongho’s starting to sweat at his forehead and Daehwi groans. Is this guy’s brain broken?! Can’t he tell he’s just digging himself into a deeper hole?

You know what, fuck this shit.

The rage has taken over anything else he was feeling for Dongho. Fuck the propriety, fuck being cool like Somi asked him to be because he’s not really doing a good job of that anyways –  “Isn’t it obvious?”

Dongho stops shifting so nervously as he looks up at him confused. “It is?”

He’s going to play with him. Just a little.

Dongho deserves it for being such a dick first thing Monday morning. That sort of dickery is best saved for Friday nights.

“Yeah, it is.” He steps a little closer to the other man, eyebrow cocked upwards with an unsaid question as Dongho steps backwards on auto.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," He clears his throat, voice breathy as he manipulates his expression so it’s less anger brimmed and more – becoming. “I missed you.”

Where he has an excess of breath, Dongho’s completely lost his if the sound of his drowned voice is anything to go by. “Uh  -“

He steps a little closer.

Dongho looks so flabbergasted by the rapidly disappearing distance between them that Daehwi almost wants to break out of character just so he can high-five himself. He knows that it's a little cruel of him to try to play with Dongho - but the other man deserves the confusion he feels because that's all Daehwi felt too on Friday night when he read that damn email. “Is it that hard to believe?”

“Uh –“

It’s nice to hear him lack for words. He should do this to Dongho more often. There’s less bad jokes exiting the other man’s mouth right now, definitely a win for planet Earth.

Not that he’ll have much opportunity to hear whatever's stewing in Kang Dongho’s head. He’s sure after this morning's activities - Dongho will do his best to stay away from him too. “If you can’t think of anything better to say –“

Dongho steps a little closer.

Daehwi steps back immediately.

Oh.

Really?

Are they _**really**_  playing this game again? (The sick and twisted part of him that ignores calls of rationality is very very happy that they’re playing this game again -)

He tilts his head to the right.

Dongho steps a little closer and tilts to the left.

Sure – anyone can walk by and see what’s happening at any time (no one ever does – it’s a running joke that Dongho is the equivalent of MNet’s Harry Potter – living in the cupboard under the stairs)

Dongho shuts his eyes.

He shuts his too.

He’s misreading this situation, right? They had what he’d like to consider a pretty decent fight just moments ago and he’s sure Kang Dongho can’t have changed his mind on wanting to be kissed that soon either –

But they’re less than a hair’s breath away from each other and Dongho’s not backing away so who cares what got them in this position anyways – Daehwi doesn’t care – and obviously Dongho’s not backing away either so-

Who is he to stop Dongho from doing what it is Daehwi has wanted him to do so badly he literally ripped their working relationship apart for it? “You missed me?”

His eyes flash open.

Dongho’s voice is earnest, hopeful even, and the sound of it makes Daehwi feel ashamed enough that he wants to stop looking at the other man because that’s not really what he was trying to do here.

He wasn’t being genuine when he said he missed Dongho and Dongho’s an ass, sure, but he doesn’t deserve to be toyed with like that.

He smiles to himself shaking his head as he puts his hands into the pockets of his jeans and backs away from the other man himself.

He starts to walk away again, but this time at a slightly more relaxed pace. 

God - that was a foolish thought. How could he ever think he had the chance to play Kang Dongho?

The other man has always had the ability to play him without even trying.

He can’t even think straight around the big fluffy fool because he's a bitchy stubborn fool himself. “Yeah. I missed you _**SO**_ much –“ He makes sure to add an extra helping of sarcastic drawl to his words so Dongho knows this time he doesn't mean what he's saying. The new message appears to be received loud and clear since it earns him the view of Dongho rolling his eyes at him. “Thought I’d never live to see another day if I didn't have you by my side – how will I ever cope with this corporate inflicted separation -“

Dongho flushes a little red. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

Thankfully, there’s very little of this conversation left to be had as Dongho puts his keys into the door and unlocks the studio door. “Seonho’s not in first?”

“I told him he can start late on his first day – Minhyun said he likes to sleep in. Might as well get the kid started a bit later so I have time to do my own thing in the morning.” Daehwi tuts his disapproval with some choice tongue clucks that serve to make Dongho look at him strangely. "What kind of sound is that?"

“That's the judgment sound. You're being judged. Hard.” Dongho balks as Daehwi walks over to the soundboard to quickly look over it for his headphones so he can get out of here and back to Jaehwan faster than he came here. "You’re too soft on him."

Fuck - no headphones.

That's just great - now he’s going to have to look for them – “What makes you think I’m soft on him?”

He snorts. That's not a serious question, right? Seonho gets the easy way out for everything and he gets - well - he gets whatever he's served. “You give Seonho no flack for acting like a baby more than an employee - and you just called me out on maybe coming to work drunk –“

“No – I called you out for coming to work hungover. Did you come to work drunk? My bad - everything makes more sense now.” Dongho corrects, arms folded over his chest as he leans against the black wall to the back of them. Daehwi flips him the middle finger as he continues to look away to try to find his headphones. “It’s not even like I said anything wrong – you did come to work hungover Daehwi–“ He turns around to offer Dongho the full force of his scowl so he, in fear for his safety, will shut up. Instead, it's Daehwi's own safety that's compromised as a small gush of air is sucked right out of his lungs and into Dongho's laughing mouth as Daehwi's eyes linger a little too long on the vein that runs from Dongho’s elbow to his wrist, pulsing, twisting, pleading for – "Got nothing to say when faced with the facts?"

Okay, then, back to looking for the headphones, it's a much safer occupation for his eyesight. “Last I checked, it wasn’t a crime to drink –“

“As long as it doesn’t affect your work –“

Please – you know what affects his work more than he’d like?

Ding. Ding. Ding. It's the piece of shit that's ruining his life who happens to be standing right behind him. “Are you going to just stand there or are you going to help me find what I'm looking for so I can get out of your hair?”

“Self-sufficient Lee Daehwi needs  _ **my**_ help? I thought this day would never come.” Dongho exaggerates from behind him with thematic movie music pumping out of his chest like he doesn't care he sounds like a buffoon imitating an orchestra. Daehwi resists the urge to turn around and flip him off again but only because he knows his desire to yell at him will disappear as soon as he sees Dongho smile at him. It's much better for him to look away and stay angry. “What are you looking for?”

“My headphones –“

“Ah - what happened to the ones you had on you at the CUBE office? I swear I saw you pack those-”

Seriously, he should know. The answer to that is sitting in his inbox. “Have you checked your email?”

“No.” Dongho answers with a surprising amount of pride on his face. “Why?”

Part of him wants to ask why it is that his workaholic boss hasn’t acted characteristic to himself but somehow common sense pulls him back from saying anything more as he clears his throat. “I was working on cleaning up the background in Guanlin’s song at home this weekend. I think I left them there. Also, I sent you a version for review. If you’re good with it, let me know and I’ll send it over to CUBE."

“Why?” Dongho looks confused. “Daehwi – you didn’t need to do that. Seonho could have managed that. You're doing his work with Jaehwan, right?”

He knows Seonho could have managed that - the boy's not a complete child of privilege.

Still, to him it just felt wrong leaving something he'd worked on incomplete.

And no matter how mad he was at Dongho – he wasn’t going to ignore what Dongho asked him to do as a superior. Work is work and – whatever they have is a mess.

It doesn’t mean the two have to intersect even if he does find it hard to separate his own feelings for Dongho as a boss and as - something else. “Yeah, I just figured – it’d be easier. You can start a brand new slate with Seonho, you know? New projects – more exciting stuff! I’m sure he doesn’t want to work on cleaning up my crap when he's never laid eyes on it before and has no real stake in it's production-“ His words start to trail off because Dongho’s looking at him with an expression that betrays nothing of what he’s thinking. “What?”

“What?” His boss parrots back.

His neck feels warm. It's this stupid fluffy white sweater. Curse sub par American Eagle and their cheap quality clothing - “You’re looking at me weird...”

“Ah, it’s nothing.” Dongho laughs and in an instant whatever Daehwi thought he saw on his face is gone. “Did you check behind the board? It might have fallen over the top?”

It’s not like Dongho will ever really tell him the truth about anything – not about his background, not about what happened at PLEDIS, not how he feels about anything - Havarti Cheese, Korea's results at the latest FIFA or why he wants to be alone for the rest of his life.

He doesn't want to show Dongho how disappointed he looks with the other man’s lacklustre response so he drops to the floor, making Dongho immediately yelp. “What are you making so much noise for?”

“You did that so fast!”

“You told me to come down here!” He crawls under the bench, head pressed to the floor as he tries to look in the small gap between the floor and the board set up to see if there’s something to the back.

“Do you see it?”

He lifts his head from it’s side so his chin is on the ground and his eyes are, now, staring directly into the lush expanse of Kang Dongho’s bouncy scalp of hair.

Forget getting out of his hair - he wants to run through it so much that it becomes an integral part of his morning exercise routine (that doesn’t exist).

Man, it would be so great if Dongho had a little dandruff, you know? Just a little something to be unattractive – SOMETHING – ANYTHING - “Doesn't exist.”

Kang Dongho lifts his head and Daehwi finds himself drowning in the sight of an infinitely worse pool of warm, coated brown - “Well, don't just look at me, it's not here! Look down there!”

He looks back down at the ground instead. “This is pointless.”

“Yeah, I know - last time I’m buying you anything that's for sure.” WHAT? He didn't lose these on purpose!

"I wouldn't want you to buy me anything, anyways.”

He butts his head straight into the other man’s with a fair amount of force that has Dongho grunting in surprise. “You should be careful with that heavy head of yours -"

Dongho butts him back.

“Ha! At least it's not as empty as yours – “ Daehwi laughs as a smaller bubble of something a little more recognizable coils in his lungs and blocks his airway.

"At least - I don't have crap swimming in my mind all the time -"

Too true. “Don’t even –“ He presses his hands to the floor to gain a little more leverage and stability so he put more force into this weird head car crash he's willingly participating in. 

If he gets a headache now, he'll have no one to blame but himself.

But - it'll be worth it. Anything he does with Dongho, this Dongho who is on the floor with him, is usually worth it. 

“I should warn Jaehwan –“ Dongho’s panting which feels nice too. It’s nice to know whatever muscle he’s using to do this is exhausting Dongho just as much as it’s exhausting him.

Sharing a small smile with the ground, he clears his throat – airs of superiority worming into his tone. “For all that exercise you do – the thing that holds your brain together is weak, huh?”

“I’m going easy on you –“ Dongho laughs with disbelief. 

“Easy, yeah sure – that’s what all the –“ He feels Dongho’s hands come over his to knock his stability off the ground and Daehwi falls down groaning. “That was low, you're a cheat."

“To be fair – we’re already pretty low on the ground, there's not much more I can fall -” Dongho laughs and Daehwi laughs back, rolling onto his back so his nose isn't kissing the ground anymore.

But the moment his eyes are back up and staring at the ceiling - he realizes that there is a little more space left for Dongho to fall. Right now, the other man is hovering, just so, over his head with arms planked on either side of his face to keep him in place. “Admit defeat, Lee Daehwi.”

He’ll admit whatever it is Dongho wants him to admit.

Which is never going to be something he wants.

So he shuts his eyes and lifts himself up from the floor. Dongho won't fall the rest of the way anyways. “This is pointless –“

"Can you stop being such a crybaby?" Dongho claps one hand on his back and Daehwi wails. This guy doesn't know how to get the message - any message - how did he survive this world till now? Didn't someone take advantage of him?! It'd be impossible not to - “I’m sure they’re in here somewhere.”

Dongho looks behind the garbage.

Daehwi wants to ask him if Dongho sees his dignity in there because it feels like he has no spine around this man.

How is any of this fair?

Although, it is nice that they appear to have landed at some false sense of peace but it all feels fake because Daehwi’s able to snap out of it and realize that there’s so much they’re not saying to each other -

And that’s all Dongho’s fault. He’s the one trying to make things easy for them. He’s trying to mend their torn gap. He’s trying to make them friends again but Daehwi hates him for it because that’s the last thing in the world he wants to be – he doesn't want to fix them - he wants to - build something better. “I’ll just buy new ones or something – I should head back soon. I've been gone too long.“

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Dongho calls back as he continues to rifle through the recycling that the cleaning lady always only half empties. “I’ll loan you a pair for today if we don't find yours and you can just return them tomorrow.”

As wonderful as the idea of seeing him again tomorrow is, Daehwi knows better. If he’s really expected to back away from Kang Dongho and everything he wants this man to be – then he needs time, space and distance –

None of which Kang Dongho is willing to offer him the moment they so much as look at each other.

And what’s worse is he can’t even ask for it. Asking will only bring them back to that painful position they were in last week, where he ends up rejected by the only person he wants right now and Dongho continues to fester in his own misery.

With excellent timing, Seonho stops him from saying anything stupid. “GOOD MORNING!” Their Ray of Sunshine walks in with a basket of mini muffins in one hand and his smile in his other as he squeals quickly falling to the ground so he can come and embrace his new ‘best friend’. “DAEHWI-“

Dongho giggles at the sight of a less than amused Daehwi being cuddled to bits by an overly affectionate Yoo Seonho. “I have a feeling someone likes you, Daehwi –“

“Go find a hole to submerge yourself in -" His dark mumble serves only to make Dongho giggle more as he hugs Seonho back.  “Good morning to you too, Seonho. How was your weekend?”

“Good!” Seonho backs up off him, sitting down with his calves folded  in front of him. “Met up with my Ewha girls, got Guanlin to add me on Snap, met up with my grandma – she’s still slightly insane –“

“Oh, no – Seonho.” He pouts as he clears his throat uncomfortably. “I’m so sorry –“

Seonho looks confused. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because – you know –“

“Ah – she’s not really insane. She’s just, you know, a little bit wild. She has a Harley – it's great! She took me for a ride and I met her motorcycle gang - they’re called ‘The Flip Flop Gang’-“

That is now how he expected that story to turn out. “I have so many questions and yet I want to ask none?" He squints. "It's strange."

Seonho pouts. “Rude – just because I have a grandma who is a warlord and I didn’t have any hot dates doesn’t mean my weekend was any less interesting than yours–“

“Trust me - your weekend was more interesting.” The rustle at the bin stops and Daehwi peeks over Seonho’s shoulder to call out - “Everything okay, there? Did you find it?"

“No –“ Dongho starts as Seonho turns to look at him too. “Seonho, can you do me a favour? Never be the type of intern who throws unwrapped gum into the recycling?“

WOW - “The date was great, we had tea and played games - thank you for asking Seonho!” Okay, so maybe he's being a little petty.  But Dongho's comment is the very definition of petty. Fresh breath is his right as a human being! Sure, he could have been a bit more careful in how he disposed of his gum - but does Dongho have to harp on EVERYTHING he does? He's starting to feel like he'll never live up to whatever it is Dongho wants from him. “You should meet Euiwoong I think you'd really like him.”

At the prospect of being brought into Daehwi's 'real life', Seonho beams. “For sure! You should bring him here for lunch some time. Maybe on Friday?”

“Sure! He’d love that!” Actually Daehwi’s not very sure of anything. He exchanged a grand total of twelve messages back and forth with Euiwoong on Saturday night before dismissing the conversation in favour of a shower. Also - it may not be a great second date idea to use Euiwoong to make someone else jealous. “Dongho, are you free Friday?”

“Nope.” Dongho responds a little too quickly, continuing to dig through the recycling. Daehwi's sure the other man is just trying to avoid looking at him while he's talking about Euiwoong. Dongho may be a novice at this stuff - but he isn't. "Busy."

“Why?” He asks back just as quick.

Dongho stops looking through the trash to give him the same saccharine smile Daehwi offered him earlier this morning. “Is that really your business, Daehwi?”

He shuts his eyes, blank space filling with an image of Dongho over his face, smiling down at him and leaning closer and closer and closer till the excuses usually present on their tongues are replaced with - “I know you’re not in the habit of explaining yourself to me because you don’t care about how I feel about anything but maybe you try this time.”

The air goes frigid instantly.

Seonho’s head, very, very, slowly twists back from facing Dongho to facing him and mouthing a very silent and very clear ‘ _What the actual fuck?’_

Okay, maybe he should have been a little lighter with how he worded that one but it’s already too late because the words are out of his mouth and they're how he feels anyways. Why should he have to filter himself to keep Dongho safe in a bubble of his own making that Daehwi doesn't want to sign up for? He did that once for the other man and guess what - that never worked for him.

Like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, Dongho’s hands latch onto something in the bin and after what feels like forever, Dongho pulls out a pair of gold and white headphones. “Your headphones, Daehwi-nim.”

He's on his feet and marching over in a second to grab onto them as angrily as he can. “Thank you for your help.”

Dongho scoffs, never releasing the grip he has on them.

Instead, he pulls them to himself - pulling Daehwi right along with them until they're almost crushing the headphones into nothing more than another collection of nuts and bolts between them. “Maybe, next time, you don’t throw them in the trash –“

That’s not fair. He’d never do that. No matter how much he doesn’t know what he feels for Dongho – he’d never take something Dongho gave him and throw it in the garbage. “I think that was the cleaning lady - don’t misunderstand just because it’s a convenient way for you to communicate how upset you are with me for saying what I said.”

“I can literally say the same thing back to you Daehwi -"

“You know what?!” Seonho pronounces as he gets up from the floor.

No. Daehwi doesn’t know what Seonho’s about to say and he cares very little about it too. 

The lack of a response from his boss and his friend doesn’t detract Seonho from sharing his thoughts, anyways. “I think you both need some food – good old fashioned carbs in the form of muffins! Hey - carbs are good for muscles?! Right? And hey - Daehwi - muffins are like - part of an American breakfast lifestyle, right? Hey?“ The younger boy approaches both of them with one mini muffin in each hand which he places alongside the fingers both of them have on the tether of metal that keeps them together, neither letting go. “And I’m going to get some coffee- anyone want anything that takes a long time to order and come so I can leave this place?”

“Iced Latte.” Dongho barks.

“On it.” Seonho sounds a little too happy to leave this awkward situation. “Daehwi?”

“He forgot to add that he needs Lactose Free milk -" Dongho laughs a bitter laugh that lands on his frame and fits too tight. "And I’ll have a Strawberry Banana Smoothie with –“

Seonho’s already left so he's not going to get his Flax Powder boost but it appears to be perfect timing because the moment he’s out of the door Dongho addresses the elephant in their room. “You want to tell me what the snide remarks are about?”

Like he has any right to ask that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Actually – I’m pretty sure you do.” It doesn’t matter that he does know and that Dongho knows that he knows. “Look –“

“You get rid of me for wunderkind back there and you think you have the right to ask me what anything’s about?” Dongho flinches. “What just because you laughed around a bit with me –“

“Daehwi – I didn’t do that on purpose. The timing of what happened last week and – Jaehwan and I were talking about this since we first went to the CUBE offices, okay? I did my best to prepare you -”

“Yeah - great fucking prep. That email gave me a heart attack -" He scowls as he folds his arms over his chest and turns away, a smaller voice asking the question he really wants to ask. "What happens now?”

It's silent for a few seconds. Which either means nothing happens or Dongho's just as clueless about their future as he is. “Do you really want to work with me?”

He doesn’t really know what the hell he wants.

But he has a feeling that answer won’t really work for Dongho.

So he ducks to the side and walks past him towards the door. “I should be getting back – Jaehwan’s waited long enough.”

“I’m going to Japan.”

Okay – what is with all of these bombs? Can Dongho not wait like five seconds for his heart to steady before dropping a major life change on him? “What?! You're moving to Japan?! Where the hell is that coming from?! I freaked you out that much?”

"WHAT?!" Dongho groans. "Not everything's about you - god - and I'm not moving! I'm just going to Japan. Do you remember Macho? A parody band picked up the beat and we’re going to go hash out some things –“ Dongho lets out a heavy breath and Daehwi feels his left eyebrow twitch in irritation. It’s all well and nice that Dongho’s going on a business trip after forever and Daehwi wants to be able to run and give his boss a high five, or a hug or something a little more inappropriate but it makes no sense why they’re talking about this right now. “That’s why I’m busy on Friday.”

“Fine?”

The awkwardness that channeled this random revelation builds in Dongho’s frame as he volleys on his feet, scratching at the back of his head like his brain has failed to provide him with the words he needs again. “I just –" He stops speaking, shakes his head, and starts with a firmer tone. "Daehwi - just go on - Jaehwan’s waiting for you –“

Oh - no - he's not getting away that easily. “Why’d you share that?” Dongho looks up a little tense as his teeth poke out of his lips at odd angles and his silence makes Daehwi only shake his head as he pushes the door open. “You know what - I am going to go because you’re so – infuriating! I don’t even know how to talk to you.”

“That’s not true!" Dongho's defensive bark has him stop. "You talk entirely too much and yet somehow I’m the one who’s always saying something wrong-” He starts banging his head on the doorway much to Dongho’s chagrin as the other man comes over to grab his shoulders and pull him away from the door.“Daehwi -what the hell are you doing?”

He's pretty sure Dongho's not going to like this answer. “I'm trying to knock sense into myself-“

Yup, he doesn't like this answer at all if the way his nostrils are flaring are any indication. “What the hell are you doing that for?! Are you actually that stupid?!”

That is very rich coming from the idiot of the century. "Well - I'm out of smart options with you." 

“You’re the one who wanted to know what I was doing on Friday." Oh. Right. He was the one who asked for that. "Look - I can’t have you thinking that just because - I don't always tell you what I'm thinking - that you're allowed to think - whatever you're thinking -"

Man, if he doesn’t know what the hell he wants – Dongho is far worse. Far far worse. He doesn't even know how to articulate what's in his mind in clear concise Korean. “Do you mind if I do us a favour?”

At this, Dongho looks hopeful. “What’s that?”

“Can I ask you something?"

Now, Dongho looks frustrated again. “Why’d you have to preface that? You ask me all sorts of bullshit all the fucking time - Dongho help me learn Avid Pro, Dongho date Guanlin, Dongho kiss me and you never ever –“

In a moment, he has the door shut behind him with the internal lock twisted closed and the screen at the glass pane pulled down. “Shut up.”

“What?” Dongho balks as he shuts his eyes, rubbing at his temples with the same measures of stress visible on his face that Daehwi feels in his own heart. “Daehwi –“ The thing Dongho should do right now to make this safe fo both of them is ask him what he's doing - Dongho should ask him why he’s done what he’s done - Dongho should just open his fucking eyes - “Is your head ok-“ Daehwi shrieks as loud as he can, immediately making the man in front of him squeal in surprise too. “WHAT?! I’m just asking about your stupid head since you want to keep injuring it ? What did I do wrong now?!"

Does Dongho have to make everything this difficult?! “I thought I was pretty clear when I asked you to stop talking.”

Somehow this outward show of disrespect gets Kang Dongho to shut up.

This gives Daehwi enough time to take a deep breath and steady his thoughts. Dongho’s words will never let him steady his thoughts – so maybe his silence will. “Think you can stay quiet for a little bit?”

“I can do a better job of that than you can –“

Ass. “Really?” He scoffs with an unwilling smile on his face as he points at Dongho’s mouth. “That stupid mouth of yours has already failed –“

“Hey –“ The lip pouts, plump, full and demanding so much more from him than it’s willing to give. “Why are you calling my mouth stupid?”

Say it. Just say it. Get it over with. “Because all I want to do is kiss it every second of every moment that I spend with you and away from you and thinking of you.”

Whatever else Dongho had been about to say, it gets choked up in his throat as his face turns a vivid shade of red.

“And you know –“ He feels pretty red himself. Painted over with the full consequence of what he’s just let slip from his mouth. “It keeps telling me to – not – do what I want and that’s very hard for me because I like doing what I want but you don’t like me doing what I want so – what the fuck is the point? It's pointless - it's all pointless -”

He takes a deep breath and pushes his forehead into his hands.

Somi would be so ashamed.

It’s been a grand total of 45 minutes of talking to Dongho and he’s already lost several versions of his cool. Regular cool, panicked cool, chaotic cool -

It’s not just Somi - everyone he knows would be ashamed of the level of brashness he's just displayed -

But at least his words have managed to accomplish their appointed task of shutting Dongho up because the other man has nothing to say as he looks straight at him.

He turns back to the face the door, once again ashamed of how he’s managed to ruin a perfectly okay day and a perfectly okay truce with his own selfish desires for more.

But he doesn’t get very far because the arms he’d admired from afar before wrap over his waist and pull him close till his face is right in the crook of Dongho’s neck. “Uh Dongho – what are you doing?”

Dongho’s arms tighten over him, crushing him in the most wonderful way until he feels blanketed entirely by the warm body pressed to him. "Seriously - Dongho - what's happening here?"

He’s no longer scared of cardiac arrest – he’s sure he just lost his heart somewhere along the road and he doesn’t even know when he dropped it.

Maybe the cleaning lady took it and put it into Dongho’s lap without his permission.

It doesn’t matter how though. "Daehwi?"

His hands grip the plain white fabric of Dongho’s T-shirt to make sure he doesn’t move away as he hears his voice quiver with fear of whatever it is Dongho wants to tell him. “Yeah?”

Dongho’s face buries itself into his shoulders, lips pressing to his collarbone over that stupid stupid sweater Daehwi wishes he’d never thought  to wear - he should have just come to work half naked - totally acceptable corporate wear - “This time, can you shut up?”

Daehwi doesn’t need him to ask twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a long time because honestly - there were a lot of different ways this could go down. Every time I tried one of the paths - something didn't fit or make sense for the characters I'd built up so I needed to take a step back from this story and stop thinking about the paths this could go down and just write.
> 
> And I think - this kind of naturally came out? So I hope it felt as natural to you as it felt to me (although it may have caught our protagonist off guard -)

**Author's Note:**

> So for any of you who have seen Friends you'll know I very blatantly took this scene from Rachel's interview because tbh I thought it was hilarious and I just wanted to do this bc it screamed Dongho/Daehwi to me bc of the crack!potential
> 
> I have no idea what this is btw - if it comes back into my mind I'll keep writing though :)
> 
> P.S. if you want to watch the friend's scene on YouTube - the name is "Friends - Rachel's interview"


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